Hurry Up And Wednesday Already!

OK, so I have some important stuff to deal with today (waxing appointment) but I do want to take a few moments to share what I've learned from the New York Times's recent piece about "bicycle style" in Portland:



Firstly, I learned that Portland is all about the "hipster chic," and this woman in particular has a whole "flirtygirly" thing going on:

She also bought a bike specifically for this interview:

"The bike culture in Portland is impressive and admittedly I haven't been a part of it until approximately 30 minutes ago when I purchased this lovely bike."

I have no doubt the Portland bike culture will accept her with open arms, because they're very inclusive--just as long as you're not Asian.

Next, I learned that these people are idiots:

And that this guy got his bike stolen a bunch of times:

You have to be pretty hapless to get your bike stolen even once in Portland, let alone multiple times.  I know because I've been there.  The bike rack in front of the Whole Foods was filled with Rivendells secured by flimsy cable locks.  People "lock" their custom whatevers with their helment straps while they get coffee.  All of these people find their bikes still waiting for them when they return.  I brought my own lock from home, and when I'd use it passers-by would stare in amazement and ask questions about it.  An actual lock was clearly something exotic and mysterious to them--like an Asian person riding a bicycle.

So the best I can figure is that this guy is actually taping a "Take Me" sign to his bicycle.

Yet another thing I learned is that the dream of the '90s really is alive in Portland, just like they say in the "Portlandia" theme song:

Wasn't she in Babes In Toyland?

Oh, also, have you noticed that the dainty-handwritten-phrase-along-the-forearm tattoo is the new knuckle tattoo?

If you haven't, you're going to start noticing it now.

But most importantly, I learned that this guy likes to dress in "themes:"

"I like to dress in themes.  So right now this is my Portland-I'm-On-My-Bike-I've-Got-My-Bike-Bag-Going-To-Get-Coffee theme."

This is remarkable, because the Portland-I'm-On-My-Bike-I've-Got-My-Bike-Bag-Going-To-Get-Coffee Theme is identical to the I'm-A-Suburban-Mall-Rat-And-I'm-Waiting-For-My-Mom-To-Come-Pick-Me-Up-In-The-Food-Court Theme:

(I'll bet you $18 this guy doesn't own a bike.)

Oh, and colorful socks on men are apparently a "thing" now, at least according to people who have lived in multiple states:

"This is my fifth state that I've lived in?  So, I take a little bit from Virginia, I take a little bit from Florida, I take a little bit from South Carolina, a little bit from North Carolina, and some from Oregon as well."

That is a seriously uncool list of states.

But then again, as he says, "Bringing a lot of culture into Portland is what makes it so great:"

If this is indicative of the quality of Portland's cultural imports, that would certainly explain a lot.