It's Wednesday And Come To This Thing Tonight!

Further to yesterday's post, a commenter commented the following commentary in the comments section:

Anonymous said...

Snob,

I miss when you would blog about just riding your damn bike around Brooklyn and Manhattan, taking pictures of all the goofy sights and encounters you'd find along the way...

Can we do more of that, plz?

thxu :-*

March 5, 2013 at 3:34 PM


I can sympathize, because there's lots of stuff I miss too.  For example, I miss the days before CBGB got replaced by a clothing store for douchebags.  Then again, if CBGB were still open today I wouldn't go near the place anyway because I'm an old fuddy-duddy.  Come to think of it, that's also why I don't live in Brooklyn anymore, which is why Anonymous isn't seeing as many pictures of it.  Plus, when you're an aging blogger (or aging anything, really) it's very important to disavow things in which you once enthusiastically took part: tattoos, fixies, bike couriering, living in Brooklyn, taking pictures of it, etc.

Yes, it sucks that things change, but I'm happier now, and that's all that counts.

Still, that doesn't mean I don't still go to Brooklyn, and tonight I have to do just that.  Moreover, I have to go to the most offensive part--Williamsburg, epicenter of the New Douchery--because I'm the master of ceremonies for this thing that's happening at 8pm tonight at the Knitting Factory, which I thought was still in Manhattan because I'm an old fuddy-duddy:

I hope to see at least some of you there, and by way of enticement I managed to dig up some Knog Blinders, which I'll find a way to distribute during the proceedings:

And you're going to need them because there's a shitstorm a-comin' our way:

I can't wait to trek home to the real world in it tonight.

By the way, I was also intrigued by this headline on the same site:

I don't know who compiled this list, but if it was/were me number one would be the Williamsburg Bridge during rush hour.  If you've ever been stuck in the midst of a full-on Cat 6 run you know it's remarkably similar to the embassy-storming scene at the beginning of "Argo."

Anyway, please come tonight, and you can RSVP here.  Also, here's a video about another one of the builders:


Handcrafted presented by Jack Daniel's... by TheLMagazine

I don't mean to sound ignorant, but what are "Polish drops?"

There's a Polish joke in there somewhere, but since I'll be somewhat close to Greenpoint tonight I'm not going to make it because I don't feel like getting beaten up.

Speaking of taking pictures, I was IN MY CAR THAT I OWN (click here to see what David Byrne thinks of that) not too long ago when I spotted this vanity plate:

Which is amusing if you're the giggly sort, but not quite as amusing as this article (forwarded to me by the proprietor of World's Greatest Coffee Co-Op In The World Just Coffee):

Which features extensive quotes on the subject of celibacy from a man named "Father Wang:"

Father Stephen Wang, dean of studies at Allen Hall Seminary, says it is a sacrifice that many priests manage. "It's possible when people have an inner maturity and the faith and support structures are in place." For him it is no different to the challenge of a husband trying to be faithful to his wife.

Forget celibacy--I don't even have the "inner maturity" not to giggle about the name "Father Wang."

Oh, and no masturbating either:

There is no celibacy get-out in the form of masturbation, says Wang. "For every Christian, masturbation, sex before marriage and sex outside marriage are wrong and something you shouldn't be doing.

Just when I thought I knew every euphemism for "foffing off" I discover another one.  Next time someone excuses himself from the table for a "celibacy get-out" I'll know what he's talking about.

Meanwhile, in more Fredly news, a reader informs me that the new measure of bicycle quality is the "peel a banana at speed" test:

While many machines are billed as 'neutral', the Madone defines the term with intuitive manners that practically require just a thought to go where you want. Neither overly twitchy nor somnabulantly boring, the pitch-perfect geometry – 73-degree head tube angle, 976mm wheelbase, and 72mm bottom bracket drop on our 52cm sample – carves a wicked arc through sinuous high-speed descents, confidently switches lines mid-corner, and still nails the proverbial 'peel a banana at speed' test.

Given the Madone's pedigree this stability is hardly surprising, since Lance Armstrong's Discovery Channel team demanded rock-steady handling for those on-the-bike blood transfusions.  Particularly impressive is the fact that the bike requires "just a thought to go where you want," because I know I'm tired of shouting at my bike in order to make it change direction--to say nothing of its "somnabulantly boring" (he's missing an "m" in there by the way) character, though that could be a function of the handlebar-mounted loudspeaker that plays Garrison Keillor recordings as I ride.

Anyway, while this bike may nail the proverbial "peel a banana at speed" test, I wonder how it does at the "celibacy get-out at speed" test.  They should turn it over to Mario Cipollini next, though when he's done Trek had better turn it over to the CDC for disinfecting.

Lastly, from another reader comes this moving video of late Venezuelan President Hugo "JRA" Chávez riding a bicycle:




Looks like it failed the "peel a banana at speed" test.