Monday, January 21, 2013

This Just In: I'm Still Out But Here's Something Anyway!

I'm still chamois deep in Martin Luther King, Jr. Day festivities, but if you're really bored I just published something on the Bicycling website so you can read that instead:

That is all.  I will see you tomorrow.  I love you.

Love,

--Wildcat Rock Machine


PS: Scranus.

70 comments:

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hi bikesnobnyc!

PJT said...

Top o'Heap

PJT said...

Darn, 2nd it turns out. I should have EPO'd

Anonymous said...

Top 4

Anonymous said...

WHOOP!

Lets now get back to real sports!

Hockey is back!!!!

Anonymous said...

Scranus?

leroy said...

My dog said "you woke me for that"?

He's just grumpy before he's had his double espresso.

Anonymous said...

I cannot fucking believe you brought up Oprah and heavy-lifting and neglected to talk about her massive tittays that I could not stop looking at.

BSNY CPG!

Anonymous said...

Top ten tools

grog said...

10!
Oh Babe.

leroy said...

Just before rolling over and going back to sleep, my. Dog told me that Oprah should help Bobke provide color commentary for the Tour.

They can give away cars.

Then he told me to get him a double macchiato.

Which just goes to show you how folks can surprise you. He usually wants a double espresso.

Anonymous said...

It's pronounced expresso you hick.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Love saves the day.

ken e. said...

"three things i do know, love, love, and love"

leroy said...

Dear anon 11:55--

Shucks, I better let you order.

Make mine a triple ristretto.

Thanks

(It's my dog's turn to pay. I'm sure he's good for it.)

Jimboner said...

Jebus be praised!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 11:19, I couldn't help but think that if Lance ended the interview by motorboating Oprah, it would have been the greatest moment in broadcast history.

JB said...

Time trial top 20!

samh said...

"Oh" RLY?

Paul Bowen said...

puff..pant...top 20?

Anonymous said...

wiwm,
I think they did in taping. It's why his nose was so red. The had to edit it out. It ruined the gritty integrity of the soul-bearing.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BIGN BRWN

Paul Bowen said...

Just did Friday's quiz. Damn you Amis, damn you to Hell.

6167 tmartsc said...

The audio option for the "prove you're not a robot" words is an effective child frightener.

Buffalo Bill said...

O.....kay then.

envirts 2260?

Anonymous said...

Way to fool your regular readers, Snob! I stopped by on a lark, and [amazement!] find a new post on MLK Jr Day. Okay, on my way to bicycling.com...

bikesgonewild said...

...speaking of grumpy & still sleepy (my two most appropriate dwarves), i looked over ladened lids & thought my captcha was 'jensvoightisapussy'...

...sheesh...i magine my surprise when i realized i had nothing to say...

...ummm, just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

"Choad" is beginning to work its way into my vocabulary...thanks Lance.

Anonymous said...

Also, "Scranus"...thanks Snob.

Salman Kaimi said...

Online Make Money is very easy now, just click this link to get start make money online from home
www.jobzcorner.com

africansingle said...

I freewheeled over the line.
Babble's not even in sight.
Wassup girlypants?

ge said...

Nicely done, sneaking a scranus reference into Bicycle Cycling magazine.

perinium

Anonymous said...

Criterium-perineum was good. (ZOD)

McFly said...

These comments trickle in like so much EPO through clear plastic tubes.

Oprah's Big Brown Melons said...

Come at me, bro.

Dooth said...

All I got from the Lance and Oprah Show was a good case of schadenfreude frustration...no sobs, no tears--no fun! But I did learn that I'm a deeply flawed individual.

Frenchie said...

More one the LA front:

Major french newspaper Le Monde just published on its website a copy of the original 1999 antidoping test report. Proof UCI knew and covered.

here

Shit is getting closer to the fan...

bikesgonewild said...

...ya...the lancester kinda pulled it off (sorry about that phrase, mcfly) which is what he set out to do...

...he was never gonna let this be anything more than a 'key phrase' chat with americas omnipotent sweetheart...

...the most powerful women in the infotanment business asks a few supposedly 'anything goes' questions, doesn't pursue anything analytical & softballs the rest...

...so, we got - "...yes, i doped...yes, i took these drugs...yes, i'm flawed...yes, i'm working on it...yes, i owe people an apology...yes, this cost me about 95 million...yes, i hate that...ohhh & yes i promised i wouldn't come in girls mouths & i did..."...

...for 95% of those who cared to watch, that's it, that's all they needed...lance's public mea culpa..."...how could there be anything more ???...i think he covered it all..."...

...without the public media attention garnered over 7 tour wins & the livestrong foundation tie in, not a lick of attention would have been paid to lance armstrong, so for those kinda folks, this was their opportunity to lay it all to rest...

..."...see ???...he's being honest now...he admitted he was lying, but, hey, lookit all the other sports guys who've screwed up one way or another...what are ya gonna do ???..."...

...good job, bro...

JB said...

@Frenchie: you think we're going to believe what shows up on Greg LeMonde's blog? LOL, y'all!

ge said...

Yeah, come on, who would beleive Greg. Lance totally destroyed his credibility for the last 12 years or so ... for telling the truth ... oh wait. Oh Lob, I'm defending Greg. What's wrong with me?

igngnat 928

perineum (I dun spelt it rite this time!)

Yarpo said...

I'm with WIWM, motorboating would have made me believe in the power of television as a force for good if that had taken place.

cantlir 741

If you cantlir 741, what can't you lir?

Jebus, Jobus, and Maryjus!

Anonymous said...

still love you Lance!!!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Lookit these stats. I'm like the Lance Armstrong of blog commenting:


Jan 21 1st
Jan 17 4
Jan 16 6
Jan 14 1
Jan 10 1
Jan 09 6
Jan 03 2


Three numero unos and 7 top ten finishes. '13 looking good for the podio GC. The other days I was pack fodder back carrying up bottles for my peeps.

RECUMBENTSTRONG

Swedish Chef said...

Frenchie Fuqua 4:18 "Shit is getting closer to the fan..."

I went to a bachelor party in the summer where people threw huge serving sized spoonfuls of potato salad through a huge exhaust fan (lots of handfuls too). This was on the second floor. When I left the cars parked under the fan looked like they had an inch of snow on them. Still one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

bikesgonewild said...

...@ swedish chef...you are on strange meatball...

...@ yarpo...could it be any nicer out there ???...sheesh...

...'2295 inrozon'...i think recumbent consiracy theorist has been dosing on 'inrozon' (sounds amgen-ish, ya ???) & thus the showing as of late...

...my captcha is the universes way of busting you, rct...

Lennay Kekua said...

Lance touched Greg.

Commie still abroad said...

Te'o Manti is now being interviewed by Katie Couric.
I can't wait to massively fuck up so I can be interviewed for two long hours and admit what an asshole I was whole still continuing to be a total asshole.

mikeweb said...

bgw,

Congrats on the 49-ers making it to the big dance, if you care about that kind of football.

Also, very well said @ 4:43.

Go Devils! at least until the Islanders get here in 2015 - I'm filled with torn allegiance angst already...

3248 ontatsb?? Is that some sort of cryptic message for me to tattoo the number 3248 on my butt?

ce said...

Some padding for the Ellen DeGeneres bosom that was today's post.

Anonymous said...

we love you too

judge jury and executioner said...

RCT, wow, douchiest post of the day. Lance Douchestrong for sure. And not only that, but you've implied you doped to get there, you big dope. Seriously, the whole blogolympics comments race is pathetic enough without making a douchey spreadsheet to track it.

310 ainesnt

Jed said...

Douchie douche McDouchenstien aka RCT

babble on said...

Yawwwwwn. Man I was sooooooo sleeping on the job today...

That Taboo sex show sure wore me out, what with all that rubber, leather and latex and lovelies all in one place...

babble on said...

RCT: I got it.

babble on said...

and it was funny.

Dooth: Oh goody! Company! I'm deeply flawed, too.

Jed said...

Anon @1:02. BIGN BRWN

Sweet sainted mother of O'fascius spondee, was that shit funny.

Jed said...

Godammit, we need a bsny t shirt.
I humbly suggest three lines of the most artisanally crafted spondee possible.
First line:
BIKE SNOB

Commenters?

Anonymous said...

quote from Lance's new book ...

"I may be a major A$$hole but I got massive amounts of pu$$y, righteous droogs, money, mo money,motorboated Oprah's massive teats and felatio from satan.

So AYHCSM___________________ fill in the blank"

bikesgonewild said...

...thanks, mikeweb...armstrong is disingenuous at best but the extent of it is not really common knowledge amongst the great unwashed...

...he's a chess player, always looking several moves ahead in any game being played...

...cold & calculating & for years wrapped in a big warm, fluffy yellow livestrong blanket...

Klikdruk said...

Dzięki za ten wpis!

africansingle said...

@bgw: "..armstrong is disingenuous at best but the extent of it is not really common knowledge amongst the great unwashed"

That's it.

McFly said...

Dale Earnhardt to Jeff Gordon: "It does not matter if they are cheering or they are booing....as long as they are making noise...."

Oprah "Double-D" Winfrey said...

That Lance is OK, but he is so darn serious and focused all the time. I was like all "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO my tits are down herrrrreeeeee......"

Anonymous said...

You suck banana shorts mcfly

McFly said...

PU$$ FACE

Anonymous said...

Waterboarding of the soul - fantastic.

Somebody atually keeps stats of their posting "finishes"? Wow. Good on you.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

"douchey spreadsheet"

-I got a kick out of that.

I've heard of a wet spot in the sheets but never a douchey spreadsheet.

Real snob said...

RCT, it is so infra dig to draw attention to your achievements, even ironically.

Anonymous said...

I bet Babble waterboards those bedsheets.

babble on said...

And all this time I thought sport was all about drawing attention to achievement.

And if Mr Earnhardt was right, then judging from all the boo's, RCT, you might find yourself in line for some sponsorship one of these days.

Anonymous said...

The Old Caz Hopper was well attended and arduous as usual, but I think Levi used it as a warmup for his usual routine of riding 5 billion miles a day.

Fashion Report 2013:
tall black socks are still ok

dstuua1911