Friday, June 12, 2009

The BSNYC Second Annual Self-Congratulatory Treacle-Fest!


Today is June 12th, 2009. "So what?," you may ask. Well, apart from the fact that it's Dia dos Namorados (or Brazilian Valentine's Day), it's really just another Friday as far as I'm concerned. However, tomorrow is dripping with significance like Jobst Brandt's calloused hand drips with wet clay, because it marks the second anniversary of this blog.



Thank you. Thank you very much.

Alas, it seems like it was only yesterday that I first posted a picture of Robert Plant playing soccer without any pants on, and that's because it was. However, it also seems like two years ago since my very first blog post, and that's also because it was. This is a tremendous relief, since it means my sense of time is properly calibrated.

Still, a lot has changed in the past two years. For example, noted Twitterhound Lance Armstrong went from getting loaded, bedding celebrities, and riding tall bikes:



To fathering another child and riding professionally as a domestique for Levi "Letle Viride" Leipheimer:


(From Ashley to "classy": Armstrong cleans up his act.)

On the other hand, once-respected US bicycle maker Cannondale went from cockily rebuking Specialized's recruitment attempts:

To cravenly firing their employees themselves:

(From poached to reproached: Cannondale now farming it out.)


Meanwhile, fixed-gear freestyle impresario Prolly went from riding a "noob chariot" like this:


To designing and marketing his very own bike:

(From "Oh, gee!" to "OG:" Prolly is all growed up.)

Speaking of fixed-gear freestyling, what began as a bunch of people doing unimpressive tricks on ill-suited bikes has matured into a full-fledged sport in its own right and is now nothing short of amazing to watch.

But that's not all--this blog has also seen its share of changes. I once joked about manufacturers sending me products to review; now, manufacturers actually send me products to review. Also, I once joked about writing for "Bicycling" magazine; now, I actually write for "Bicycling" magazine. Fortunately, I never joked about getting my "pants yabbies" caught in the spokes of the Ironic Orange Julius bike, though now that I have I may be adding that to my "BSNYC List of Ironies" in a year's time as well.

The one thing that hasn't changed in the last two years though is that I still absolutely love writing this blog. It's something I look forward to every day, and I'm extremely fortunate and grateful that people still enjoy reading it. While generally speaking I eschew goals, I do have one goal, which is to keep writing as much as I can, so it's for this reason that I'm also looking forward to the coming year--which will even involve a book assuming the people involved don't come to their senses. I've also been lucky enough to actually meet some people and I look forward to one day tentatively slithering out of my hidey-hole and meeting even more.

In the meantime, though, I'd like to extend a completely unironic thank you to everybody for reading, emailing, commenting, sending photos, sending products, sending compliments, sending criticisms, and most importantly riding your bikes--regardless of how ridiculous some of those bikes may be. I'd also like to thank Dennis Hopper's Twitter:

If nothing else, you can rely on it to let you know when you've gone too far.

Ride safe, and mind your "pants yabbies" or your "VAGX," whichever applies.


--BSNYC/RTMS



PS: I'm pleased to present you with a short and easy quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see Dennis Hopper selling...something. Thanks again, and have a great weekend.



1) Why is actor Matthew Modine receiving a lot of criticism lately?

--Because he rides a fixie
--Because he rides without a helmet
--Because he rides in lycra
--Because his movies suck



2) Caffeine-addled cycling is the new "schluffing."

--True
--False

3) How many DFUs (Diminutive Frenchman Units) does it take to crush the head of urber-curmudgeon and serial retrogrouch Jobst Brandt?

--200 DFUs
--2,000 DFUs
--20,000 DFUs
--Nothing can crush the head of the mighty Jobst Brandt



4) Why is Robbie McEwen breathing through a tube?

--He is simulating training at altitude
--He is simulating training in space
--He is actually training in space
--He is simulating training in flatulence



***Special Craigslist "Missed Connections" Fill-In-The-Blank Bonus Question***



I passed you on the way up from Manhattan. You had little shorts and a black tank top, with a tattoo peeking out on your back. Your hair reminded me of some __________:

--Silken flax
--Flaxen silk
--Ropey tresses
--Hawaiian shit

134 comments:

  1. Po-dee-ummmmmm

    Ahh, the sweetness...

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  2. Top step even, wow, didn't think I had that in my legs today

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  3. A little slow today. I'm on the Dutch city bike of computers... with wagon wheels

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  4. Snobbie, you started this up in here on a 6/13? That's also my sister's birthday!

    (OK, I just realized this will open me up to a blistering barrage of "your sister..." jokes in here).

    ReplyDelete
  5. ringcycles, I gave you a hell of a lead-out.

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  6. Happy Anniversary!!!

    Happy Snob Day!!

    Joie RTMS!
    BSNYC you real soon!

    ReplyDelete
  7. of course, Seany gave me a lead-out first

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  8. damn, missed the bonus question.

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  9. Snobby - Thanks for two great years. Keep the shit coming.

    Mikeweb - (insert sister joke here)

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  10. It's true Ring, I had a great view of it (from behind as always ) wait, that's what she said. And no, Mike, I swear that wasn't a sister joke. i'm not that much of a hick. Wait, yes I am.

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  11. Shit! How do you know it's Dia dos Namorados, man? Do you have any brazilian acquaintance?

    Nice to know you're aware of our guys down south.

    Fucking A blog, btw...

    ReplyDelete
  12. "I don't wanna make out or anything, just tell you that you're beautiful, that's all."

    Joyeux Anniversaire and all that jazz, Snob. May your twos be terrible in the best possible way.

    (On second thought, I definitely want to make out with you. Because you must be at least as hot as Kara Goucher, non?)

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  13. Ah, got that damn Craigslist question wrong.

    Thanks for the great entertainment Snob!! Keep it up!

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  14. wow,
    it's like the podium of the
    Wednesday night criterium
    series at the local park.

    sister?
    my bad, I thought that was
    your mom.

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  15. Yes, mikeweb, wouldn't have been able to finish it off with out your lead. Ant1 also gave a monstrous pull to the 1km sign. I'll toast 2 years of BSNYC with extra champagne sprayed from the top step.

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  16. As a result of this blog I have learned the following:

    1.) I am a jerk.
    2.) I look ridiculous in my circus gear
    3.) I share a penchant for causing great pain - mainly to myself - ( I think this explains all the dentists )
    4.) There are alot of people out there in the world that can stomp on me in a bicycle kinda way and that I should celebrate my abilities but not loose my head when something actually goes my way.
    5.) I love me some biking miles...
    6.) The arms of my glasses go on the outside of my helmet straps.

    Much love to you Snobby, you are a public servant like no other.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Snob, did you get a letter on official White House stationary, signed by Obama's pen machine, congratulating you on the anniversary?

    I wish to convey a heartfelt thanks for all the hours of (free) entertainment. Seriously, we need to work on a new business paradigm, because I would actually and willingly part with some cold, hard American cash for the privilege of reading this.

    I really don't have a clue about how the blogsphere works, actually. If all your loyal readers spend all day clicking on the advertising links to things we have no interest in, do we make you a wealthy man?

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm the george guru hincapie of the comments lead out train.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sorry I'm late.

    Hope I didn't miss anything.

    I was on E-bay getting a sweet deal on a used set of Mavic R-Sys hoops.

    Hey, BSNYC's blog anniversary must coming up soon.

    We should like totally do something.

    Maybe call Dennis Hopper for an endorsement.

    (Happy Anniversary!)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh, I thought it said Hawaiian SHIRT!
    What the hell is Hawaiian SHIT?
    Maybe is has little chunks of pineapple and ham inside?


    Seriously Snobby, Thanks for the entertainment, and more importantly, biting social commentary. You brighten up my workday in this dungeon. Palp a few cold ones for us.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I think that the reference to Hawaiian sh*t is in it visual similarity to the Sativa that grows there....

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  22. AND I nailed the bonus question. Or at least answered it correctly. Never did tap that Hawaiian shit.

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  23. Happy blog b-day.

    When is the book dropping? Are you going to collabo with Andy from fyxomatosis on the photography? I hope so because your picture taking sucks.

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  24. As in:

    "that looks like some good Hawaiian sh*t...."

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  25. PASS!!

    Happy Anniversary, Snob. Thanks for the hilarity. Hope the 3rd year is bulletproof.

    Did you drop the ham in SALT??


    A

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  26. Yer just the cutesyt Snooby, xoxox slpy

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  27. Harumph,

    A year of "writing" is the metric century of the blogosphere.

    Take a shower and wash your chamois - you're doing it all over again tomorrow...

    ReplyDelete
  28. 5/5! New PB!

    Speaking of which, yesterday's post just might have been your best ever. Thanks for all the laffs and keep rocking it BSNYC!

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  29. Snobby! Thanks for giving me a bright spot in my day for the last 2 years!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I agree with everyone here. Hooray!

    Though, Mikeweb, I'm still trying to figure out what makes Fugazi an "eponymous punk act." Is Fugazi also your sister's name?

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  31. Snobbie I thank you for showing me that I'm not alone in my perturbitude of bike lane salmon, bike shoalers and, of course, roller bladers.

    Congratulations on 2 great years and my condolences to the damage that your 7 figure annual income from BSNYC does to your tax bill.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thanks for the blog and congratulations on your success. You remind me that it is ok to be negative and you articulate my sentiments much better than I can. Those sentiments: fixies are a bad trend practiced by tools, roadies hate having fun and triathletes are jackasses. I also love the recumbents and have a bar-end fetish of my own(coffee table book?). I won't gush too long, since im barely literate, but you bring some great cultural references and erudition to the table which always makes a good read. Living near Boulder, CO, I am also surrounded by a cone of opulent smugness- think custom titanium/crabon bikes with squeaky chains and people who are seemingly working-age doing group rides on Wednesdays at 10:00 a.m. or other times that people work. Thanks for helping me laugh at them at whilst they stare down their noses at me. Huzzah!

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  33. Happy blog day Snobby! Big kisses.

    Come to Philly.

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  34. LATE!! but I got all the questions right for the first time (BSNYC, you DID say it was easy ;)

    Happi Anni and I'll keep readin' if you keep writin' (I'll keep ridin' regardless)

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  35. fuckin congratulations Snobby

    ps. YES, I called the book thing months ago. If I had a few spare hours I'd track down my comment and link to it for the world.

    I believe I said that after the book you would be hitting the talk show circuit. Question is, will it be daytime or late-night?

    pps. 2 out of 5, I suck. That brought me back down to Earth faster than, uh, well, this is why I don't have a witty blog.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Lost Track bike (Redmond)

    http://seattle.craigslist.org/est/bik/1218019530.html

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  37. Happy Anniversary, Snob!


    Now, I've got to get back to work - I'm making up for the last 2 years of slacking.

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  38. jimmy, ever since the REM album named 'Eponymous' dropped back in '88, I've had a life-long dream to use the word eponymous in blog comment post.

    I'm not even sure of the exact definition.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Snob, you bring meaning to my empty and dreary existence.

    Thanks.

    p.s. will you send me some knogs?

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  40. and I might just crack a PBR and watch me some NASCAR to commemorate this auspicious anniversary.

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  41. Lost it on the cobblestones...oh well.

    Mazel tov Snob!

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  42. mikeweb - eponymous (adj.) named after EPO. ex: Lance Pharmstrong.

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  43. So you are terrible two now. Epic.
    And a book now! You'll have to appear on Letterman to show it off. I want my copy autographed. Thanks for your labors. I won today's FUNK WHIZ, so I'm goin ridin.

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  44. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  45. Thanks ant1, I always suspected R.E.M. was on the juice.

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  46. Snob, when are we going to ride my Tandem 700cmx down the hipster silk route?

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  47. Reading this blog brings me more pleasure than a 1000 crucifixions. May the gods continue to bless you with good fortune.

    Hail Caesar!

    P.P.

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  48. "Today is June 12th, 2009. "So what?," you may ask."

    So what?
    So what!?

    For fuck's sake, this is the apocalypse!! This is the day that analog TV broadcasts will switch over to digital! We will have to re-scan our channels, or worse..some TVs will not work at ALL!

    Some people may have to go DAYS without SCRUBS reruns. This makes Katrina look like the Y2K bug, 9/11 could happen again, and 3% of the TV world would never know!

    Sure, it got put off, for the sake of the innocent children, but today is when the shit hits the fan.

    I'm moving back into my Y2K bunker: see who laughs last, assholes.

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  49. I best not try to give a real definition, but I'll just mention that Rollins Band is an eponymous punk act.

    By the way, didn't Emerson Lake & Palmer start a band called ELO or EPO or something?

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  50. BSNYC - How time flies! Seems like just a year ago you were celebrating the first anniversary of your blog!

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  51. (golf clap) Beth Page Black Style. BOO-YA!

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  52. Way to go Snobby! I'd pay for the book, heck I even bought a copy of bicycling in the airport. I wish you'd said it was ytour 3rd anniversary. I tbeen teeling all my friends I've been reading you that long.

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  53. snob gived me the golf clap when he was passin threw viper an now i know why he tolt me his favrit nascar racer was dick trickle

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  54. Thanks for writing.

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  55. You're the best Snobby! I look forward to your blog each day. It is a bright spot in my otherwise gloomy workdays. Thanks man!

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  56. Yeehaw! You the man Snobby! When you celebrating tonight you be real careful (or wear those Vittorios). Don't want to have an accident on those slippy bathroom floors.

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  57. Happy 2nd Snob. All You Haters Suck My Balls!

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  58. There's some "friday fungus" growing in my water bottle - I'm trippin' balls right now. Otherwise I would have surely podium-ed! It's all part of a massive conspiracy by Accelerade to dose me into submission. DO NOT let them silence me. All You Haters Scrub My Bidons!

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  59. Pop quiz, hot-shot!

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  60. Thanks for the writing, Mr. Snob.

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  61. Wow. In the same week I not only learn that they have television in Canada but I find out that their television is being discontinued.

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  62. Congratulations and Best Wishes !!!

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  63. hey, we're not bumpkins, we've had moving picture sets since 2003.

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  64. ahaha. great one

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  65. Other Side of the GWJune 12, 2009 at 3:35 PM

    WTG Snob. Happy 2!

    I gotta get some help. This is the 2nd week I answered all the quiz questions correctly.

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  66. Congrats on your anniversary!!!

    You always manage to provide a smile and have become my favorite blog. I will buy any book you put out, no matter how crappy!

    Thanks for the great writing (how many people can successfully interject a Samuel Gompers reference in a bike post? That is some serious talent.)

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  67. Hey snob, thanks for two years of making me feel self conscious over and over again. Keep it up!

    I look forward to reading your book to my kids.

    "BLOG BDAY"

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  68. Snob,

    Thanks for making my lunch at work that much more exciting.

    I hope you'll make that book happen too, i will so buy like 10 copies.

    happy anniversary/birthday/blogday/snobday!

    -c

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  69. ...two years of this shit ???...that, sir, is fucking EPIC...

    ...just sayin'...

    ...(& it really is quite an amazing blogsite, all things considered)...

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  70. self congratulatory assholeJune 12, 2009 at 4:00 PM

    This blog would be nothing without the comments.

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  71. Happy Bloggiversary! Thanks for all the laughs, great writing and hard work. And glad to hear there's more to come!

    Awesome Sauce, Snobby ...

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  72. ...& make no mistake...nothing but compliments, bsnyc/rtms...yer blogevolution is to be admired...you have, in the parlance, PODIUMed !!!...

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  73. ...as I to read it! Here's to two more!

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  74. Hey, I'm no longer getting channel 6 on my dental work. WTF is going on?

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  75. coincidence that the latest nyvelocity classified shows these for sale:?
    mavic ultimates 2009
    Mavic Aksium wheelset FS
    Mavic Ksyrium SL wheelset FS

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  76. I will add to the heap of congratulations and gratitude for your excellent contributions. Well done, sir (except where noted).

    All the best.

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  77. BSNYC


    IOt's here ... The Great FGA!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOjx6qI2sIk&feature=rec-HM-rev-rn

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  78. BSNYC,

    Mazel Tov on reaching bet.

    Naches.

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  79. Nice work. Your's is the only blog I read. It always makes me laugh.

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  80. i want to have your babies!

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  81. Happy 2nd, Snobby. I can't wait to buy your book! it will hold a place of honor on the coffee table, right next to my precious bronzed training wheels.

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  82. I don't want to have your babies. But thanks for all the laughs all the same.

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  83. Congrats, Snob. Keep on writing and amusing us. The side stories of this blog and the results in the comments are great.

    EPIC BLOG

    ReplyDelete
  84. Two years writing a blog. I believe it qualifies as an epic stretch in the blogosphere.

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  85. Mavic replied to the VN "shattered" story, on the VN site. I was going to post some of the response but you can see for yourself, it's pretty disgusting. The short of it: it couldn't have been wheel failure (we tested it with the little French dude trying to snap the spoke with all his little French might/mite). It has to be something else. As the bike was all smashed to hell we're going to say that the bike broke first and the crushing weight of the crabon fiber bike falling on the the wheels broke them. Voila!

    The French they are silly race ... huh.

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  86. I am thanking you for giving me wise advise on for making comeback in my cycling career. The Ride Across Siberia not working out as you have planning but was interesting experience in any box.

    And thanking you for funny comments about riding and not using my name as obscene reference anymore. You are more much interesting than Babushka who is lowering when she is consuming significant quantities of vodka. If she is living in Georgia America as some day she is wishing, you are calling her neck krasni.

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  87. "I will buy any book you put out, no matter how crappy." What a vote of confidence. Oh, and for a fat girl, you sure don't sweat much.

    P.S. When the book "drops," I will be expecting instructions on how to get my copy personalized.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Happy second anniversary to the most reliably funny writer I know. Long may you continue.

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  89. Nice 'Kids in the Hall clip'. One of my favs.

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  90. happy snobiversary mr snob.


    btw - flattened your seal of approval with my fingers.
    they are very strong now after rehab.

    ReplyDelete
  91. best thing in my google reader. what's better than that?

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  92. i wants to thankee for everthang you done for us redneck roadies in merka and it means a lot to us

    to be honest sofar as i knows you aint done shit for no redneck nowere

    but hell its yor two year aniversery so i figured id be polite like everbody else around here

    and ill be damm sure to read yor book when it hits the pubic libary here in viper

    now quit messing with my sister

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  93. Late to the party but at least I came, eh?

    Congratulations Snobby and thanks for a heck of a lot of laughs. I too will buy your book (on special).

    Get that chicken suit on, and shine up your cone.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Hey, did you start your blog on June 12, or June 13? If it was 12, you started it on my birthday! I would like to thank you right back... I love this blog, man! (Drunk sniffling) I mean, I really love it!

    Go Pens!

    ReplyDelete
  95. Two nuns are visiting the Tour of Flanders route on Dutch city bikes, when they decide to take a detour, before heading up the Koppenberg. One of the nuns says to the other: "I've never come this way before."

    "It's the cobblestones." Observes the other.

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  96. I hope McEwen wasn't sucking balls down that tube.

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  97. I'm sure we all look foward to reading it as much as you do to writing it. the comments have really stepped up. thanks for everything including the agonizing decision whether to 'dork stand' or circle at red lights

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  98. Snobers: Your blog is truly extrordinary. Each day your brilliant wit shines a ray of sarcasm on the absurdities of this sport we love. Yesterday's piece was wonderful (in truth the whole was very very good). Thank you and chapeau. I too will line up to buy what ever screed the publishing world puts your name on.

    P.S. Will you do your tour de book in the chicken suit?

    ReplyDelete
  99. Never has the phrase "twit pic" seemed more apt.

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  100. Tip of the cap to you sir, on your second anniversary.

    I will be drinking mass quantities in your honor, as I use the occasion of my fortieth birthday as a cover.

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  101. Thanks to you, I turn my wheels slightly every two days when my bike is hanging upside down. And my R3 is a gap bike. But I just can't keep my helmet straps inside my sunglasses. Thanks for another year of infotainment.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Happy space-age polymer aniversary (three more years to Aluminum!), and many more snide returns!

    Keep keepin' it fresh!

    NPJ

    ReplyDelete
  103. Thanks. Two years of daily amusement. It seems like forever. But in a good way.
    Congratulations on the book, too.

    ReplyDelete
  104. "Admittedly I have an overdeveloped sense of propriety when it comes to bikes. A bike doesn't have to be high-end necessarily. It just needs to be right. Well thought-out, properly assembled, and with a component selection appropriate to the bike's usage and to the machine as a whole. And while I feel that as a cyclist one should be able to do whatever one wants (blow lights, ignore traffic signs, and so forth), I also feel that certain equipment choices and combinations just should not be allowed.

    Cursed as I am with such a keen bicycle sense,....

    And I know there are others like me as well. You know who you are. You post snide comments on the board, call people out on their pricing, and generally vent your frustrations on clueless hipster bike-sellers.

    Which is why I bring you "Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads." This first entry, appropriately, is absolutely hideous: " -BSNYC
    Jun 13th 2007



    Ah the great beginning...

    I may have to have a Snob-A-Thon soon.
    Thanks for commiserating with the rest of us, Snobby, and making us feel better about our plight in this silly land.

    Best wishes til the next Snobiversaire and safe and happy riding to all!

    ReplyDelete
  105. I hate reading your blog, but I must to forgo any cycling related faux pas, such as tucking my sunglasses underneath my helmet straps. Cause if I did the world would end, and I need to be reminded of this constantly. Thanks for that.

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  106. New to your blog, I accessed the archives of your blog. Your first several months' worth of material contained a primal savagery, brimming with harshness and hatred. It was wonderful.

    As you've matured as a writer you've also watered it down a bit. That is indeed unfortunate. Perhaps you've received threats of violence, or perhaps your evil corporate overlords have commanded you to tone it down. If so, I suggest you tell them that you don't really need the money or the publishing expertise and that they need to fuck off.

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  107. I want to thank Bike Snob for helping me change my indulgent life. Now, for every bike accessory or colorway I shop for, I think to myself: WWBSD?

    What would Bike Snob Do?

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  108. ...please, paul @ 10:44am...

    ...bikesnob/bsnyc/rtms is a well paid, highly trained professional whose writings, accessorizing &/or colorway choosing are backed by an equally qualified team & his well coordinated stunts should never be imitated at home w/out supervision...

    ...just sayin'...for dignities sake...

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  109. -THE IMMUTABLE REVERSE SPANDEX LAW-


    A size S can fit into a size XXXXL


    A size XXXXL cannot fit into a size S

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  110. Anon 7:09

    I don't mean to boast, but only a lucky few of us can make the baggy jersey look work.

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  111. Anon 7:09

    I don't mean to boast, but only a lucky few of us can make the baggy jersey look work.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Anon 7:09

    I don't mean to boast, but only a lucky few of us can make the baggy jersey look work.

    ReplyDelete
  113. ...leroy...need i suggest that triple posting to make yer point, while only slightly varying your inflection each time, might really be considered a form of boasting ???...

    ...i mean, just sayin'...

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  114. I, for one, think it's amazing that you can suck on your own swizzle stick, Snob. Mr. Hopper is plainly jealous. Keep it up.

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  115. Cadel nails another second and RTMS slides into second base. The number two is the new one

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  116. Andy - please, enough with that number two crap.

    ant1

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  117. BGW -

    I don't mean to boast, but some of us can make the baggy jersey look work while rocking a triple.

    Just sayin'.

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  118. Saw the drunken Rip Torn video that was the pre-show to the RTMS on the World's Dumbest Partiers this weekend. Much love to Rip and his recovery efforts.

    http://video.google.com/videosearch?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel=s&hl=en&q=rip%20torn%20drunken%20video&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wv#

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  119. hey ragazzo...
    great job to keep this stuff up for 2 years.
    ..and we want more.

    thanks for the ride
    grazie bello!

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  120. ...leroy...speaking of inflection...

    ...hard to tell a chick that my baggy jersey is 'cuz i'm only rockin' a compact crank...

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  121. Congrats Snobby. I'm enjoying the ride.

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  122. "which will even involve a book assuming the people involved don't come to their senses."

    Uh, oh, did you really want to risk playing Cassandra again? If this comes to pass, catching your pants yabbies in your spokes will seem almost pleasurable by comparison

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