Bike Snob NYC: 10/03/08

Firstly, I have very good news for anybody out there who's considering a set of knuckle tattoos. (And who isn't these days? They're like "Busted Tees" for your hands!) I've just discovered that Knuckletattoos.com has a feature that allows you to preview your slogan! Check it out:

Get your own knuckles at the knuckle tattoo gun.

If only I could get that second one on my knuckles as well (instead of on my back, where I'm proud to announce it is now a work-in-progress) my body-modification dreams would be realized.

Secondly, Rick, the "People's Poet," has come up a number of times in the comments recently:

As such, I was delighted to find the serendipitous "The People's Fixed" on Fixedgeargallery:

While I'd stop short of calling this bicycle "poetry in motion" (unlike the Trek above, which is a laudanum-inspired Samuel Taylor Coleridge epic crossed with a beatnik bongo freakout and a few dirty limericks thrown in for good measure) I will say that "The People's Fixed" is a fitting name since it's not only red (the color of communism) but there's also little on the bike to offend anybody, giving it an ecumenical appeal. I like to think he leaves it unlocked when he's not using it so "the people" may ride it as well.

I was less pleased, however, to discover the existence of a sort of bizzaro Fixedgeargallery, called Thefixedgeargallery:

Note the frequency with which the phrase "fixed gear" appears in order to attract people who plug it into popular search engines. Now that's clever. Personally, I think it's a shame that the internet is polluted with virtual Venus Flytraps like this. I mean, last time I checked the most popular (non-sepia) search term on the most popular search engine was "who won the vp debate," and you don't see me gratuitously referencing the candidates to draw traffic. No, I have my integrity, and I prefer to express myself on my knuckles instead:

Get your own knuckles at the knuckle tattoo gun.

Fortunately, I'm not the only one out there with integrity. The good people at Gregslist also know you don't have to copy someone else's website to be successful:

I can't help wondering if there are unwitting and highly disappointed people who have been browsing both Thefixedgeargallery.com and Gregslist.com in search of Pistas and wondering what all the fuss is about. I also can't help wondering if Greg is the mastermind behind Pistadex.com, which I had absolutely nothing to do with, and which like the Death Star has quietly become operational. In fact, Greg has even arranged it so that you can get the PistaDex on your iPhone. I suppose that may be convenient for some, but as the inventor of the PistaDex I prefer to keep it even closer--on my knuckles:

Get your own knuckles at the knuckle tattoo gun.

Frankly, the more I use the Knuckletattoos.com knuckle tattoo preview function, the more I realize just how addictive knuckle tattoos are. It's no wonder they're so popular. And considering the abundance of tattoo-worthy sentiments out there, I think the only regret you could possibly have in getting one would be that you can only do it once! (Or maybe twice, if you take the "Nobr Akes" approach and express yourself in two separate lines.)

And speaking of brakes, bicycle-slowing technology has just taken a quantum leap forward. A reader has spotted and photographed a working prototype of a new housingless braking system:

This is easily the most exciting new product since the helmet phone, and the advantages are obvious:

1) Lighter weight

2) The ability to run cables at extreme angles

3) Completely frictionless

4) Looks great!

It also allows you to dispense with that pesky barrel adjuster because, well, you couldn't use it anyway. Just imagine how much smarter the Trek above would look with the new housingless braking system, since he'd be able to eliminate that giant lariat on the front end. Not only is it aesthetically displeasing, but it's also dangerous, for should he put his head down while making an extreme effort he could easily get it snared in there like a calf at a rodeo, which would cause him to lose control of the bicycle and would most likely result in serious injury.

And even if you have a tattoo that says "Nobr Akes," you have to admit that we're living in a golden age of bicycle brakes. There are coaster brakes, cantilever brakes, linear-pull brakes, single-pivot brakes, dual-pivot brakes, mechanical disc brakes, hydraulic disc brakes...and this means the number of brake mullet permutations is almost infinite. For example, the above Trek is adorned with a canti/dual-pivot mullet, and the following day Alex posted in the comments this picture of a bike with a reverse v-brake/disc brake mullet:

Of course, the most difficult part of having a reverse v/disc mullet is remembering which lever controls which brake. Fortunately, though, there's one way to can always be sure: