Makin' It Stick: How to Install Tubular Tires

The “Tubulars vs. Clinchers” debate is a heated one—at least, it used to be until I settled it once and for all awhile back. However, there still are valid reasons for using them, so we shan’t be seeing their sticky undersides permanently rolling off the rim of cycling any time soon. If you’re new to cycling and are unfamiliar with tubulars, they are those tires that you glue onto your rim, and some other common names for them are sew-ups, tubs, tubies, singles, wheel gaskets, glue-gutted rim adders, Sissy Spacek’s lips, Brandt baiters, and Flemish rubbers.

I’m not going to go into the reasons you might want to choose a tubular over a clincher. Maybe you want to run low tire pressure, or you don’t like how clinchers look sticking out of the pocket of your wool jersey, or you just like playing with glue. Or maybe you’ve found that clincher tires simply don’t perform well on your tubular wheelset. Whatever--you have your reasons and it’s none of my business. All I’m concerned with is making sure you know how to keep them stuck to your rims so you don’t kill me if I find myself riding near you. Of course, arguments about how to properly glue up a tubular are even older than the tubular/clincher debate, so it can be difficult to separate fact from myth. Well, forget everything you’ve ever learned, because I’m proud to present my definitive guide for mounting tubulars in five easy steps:

1) Stretch the Tire

A tire must be properly stretched in order to fit easily onto your rim. Traditional methods such as mounting them unglued on a dry rim or simply standing on them and stretching them by hand are generally insufficient. The best method is to slip the tire over a street sign and then fasten it to the bumper or ball hitch of your car. Then put the car in gear and slowly accelerate. Once the street sign begins to bend the tire should be sufficiently stretched.

If you don’t have access to a car you can also use the human self-preservation instinct to stretch your tire. Simply slip your tire over a neighbor’s doorknob and then fasten the other end to a cleat on a stationary object like a wall. Then pound on the door and yell, “Fire, fire!” Your neighbor’s frantic and futile attempts to flee the “inferno” in which he or she is now trapped should provide more than enough stretching force—and hilarity!

2) Age the Tire

As any old mechanic will tell you, a tire needs to be properly aged to insure maximum puncture resistance. Ideally, this should involve storing it in a musty basement for no less than a year. However, few of us have that kind of time. If you simply must use your tire sooner rather than later, save up a week’s worth of dirty cycling shorts. Then, place the tire along with the shorts, two cups of vinegar, and three teaspoons of mayonnaise in a plastic garbage bag and leave it under the sink for a week. By the end of the week you should have a properly aged tire as well as an infestation of some kind.

3) Prep the Rim

Some people say you should start with a completely clean rim. Others say you should leave the old glue on there since it provides a base to which the new glue can adhere. The fact is that it doesn’t matter. Regardless of the condition of your rim, take it outside and rub the rim bed on an abrasive surface like a curb or the corner of a brick wall. You should do this at night, because until you see sparks you’re not using enough force. Do this until the entire rim bed is hot and rough to the touch. I call this the “Thomas’ English Muffin” technique, because it creates lots of nooks and crannies in which the adhesive can hide.

4) Make your Adhesive

This is yet another subject everybody argues about. One rider’s favorite brand of tubular glue is the culprit in another rider’s rolled tire nightmare story. Some swear by red glue, others by clear. Some use tape instead of glue. And some even use adhesives not designed for tires, such as 3M Fastack.

The truth is, they’re all terrible. The best tire glue can be made cheaply and easily at home. Put four cups of natural honey in a mixing bowl. Then add two teaspoons of Krazy Glue, one tablespoon of kerosene, and three egg yolks and whip vigorously with a whisk for about a minute. That’s it—you’re done!

(Not only does this make a great adhesive, but you can also use the leftovers to make your own energy bars. Just stir in a box of Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch and let cool in the fridge overnight. It’s so filling you may never eat again.)

5) Mount the Tire

Take a paintbrush, apply a thin coat of glue to your rim bed and another to the base tape of the tire. Let dry for 20 minutes as you walk urgently in circles, count toothpicks that have fallen on the floor with uncanny accuracy, mutter about how you’re a very good driver, and cite Quantas’ crash-free record. Then, apply a second coat to the rim and carefully mount your tire. While I generally advise dressing semi-formally for the occasion when you’re doing bike maintenance, in this case I suggest you avoid wearing a neck tie or bollo tie while you mount a tubular as it’s possible it may get stuck in between the rim and the tire and madcap hilarity may ensue.

Once the tire is mounted, inflate partially and let it dry overnight. Then, inflate to full pressure, install the wheel, and ride as usual! (Taking pains of course to avoid: descents that involve prolonged braking; glass, gravel, or other types of road debris; riding in extremely hot weather; riding in extremely cold weather; aggressive cornering; aggressive straight-line riding; riding near beehives; and any situation that might necessitate a tire change.)

Oh yeah—don’t forget to savor that magical tubular ride quality!