From The BSNYC News Desk: Shorts, Not Briefs

As the riding and racing season shifts into the big ring there’s a lot happening in the world of cycling. And when it comes to cycling-related news, I try to stay at the front of the pack. Following are some important developments of which I think you should be aware as well, so hop on my wheel and read on.

First, in the self-aggrandizing department, I’m proud to announce that I’ve been quoted in the current issue of VeloNews:

Naturally I’m honored, but unfortunately the honor is bittersweet. (If that’s even possible for an honor.) Like many politicians and public figures, my words were taken out of context, and were shrewdly manipulated by VeloNews in order to change the meaning and cast me in a bad light. They actually left out the entire second half of the quote, which was: “Furthermore, I don’t see why people make such a big deal about pedophilia anyway. RTMS is bigger than Jesus.” Had they simply left that in, I wouldn’t have looked like such an idiot.

Moving on, also in VeloNews, I noticed Cannondale’s latest ad campaign (click here for legible text):

Basically, Specialized apparently attempted to poach Cannondale's engineers in the wake of the Dorel acquisition. So Cannondale has turned it around on them, the insinuation being that this proves even their biggest competitor recognizes Cannondale’s superiority.

Of course, the email in the ad doesn’t specify what positions Specialized was actually looking to fill. There very well may be some text that was edited out of that email which would change the implications drastically:

Positions We’re Looking to Fill

--Warehouse Sweepers
--Specialized Angels (must have own thong)
--Personal Foot Masseuse to Mike Sinyard
--Zertz Inserter
--Tom Boonen Punster
(The Tom Boonen Punster will be responsible for coming up with clever puns—or "Boon Mots," if you will—about Specialized athlete Tom Boonen for our ad campaigns. If you can come up with something as clever as “The Tominator,” you’ll be a boon to our team! Paris-Roubaix-based puns such as “Yeah, Roux-baby!” are also acceptable. “Boner”-related puns however are unacceptable, especially ones like “Bonin’ Boonen Pops Top Too Soon.” I wish people would stop emailing us that.)

Lastly, I recently noticed the following internet advertisement for the Lowe’s chain of stores:

Apart from the fact that that’s a pretty good price for carpet installation, at first glance it seems pretty unremarkable. Moreover, it has absolutely nothing to do with cycling. Or does it? Take a closer look:

I’ll be damned if that isn’t Rock Racing’s Fred “Fast Freddie” Rodriguez laying down some shag. Despite the recent news that the beleaguered Rock Racing will get to ride in the Tour of Georgia after all, the fact that Rodriguez is moonlighting as either a male model or an actual carpet installation technician does not bode well for the future of the team. In search of further clues, I visited Fast Freddie’s own website, but the only thing I learned is that he is “very excited about my new team for 2005.”