(Sold for over $800--to Ronald McDonald.)
Thursday, July 26, 2007
BSNYC Absentee Reader-Share of the Day #1
Sick to death of the sun-softened New York City streets, I am leaving town and taking an undeserved yet long-awaited vacation as of today. Until August 6th, people will be free to wantonly post their bicycles to internet galleries unmolested. (By me anyway.)
One thing that has been both a blessing and a curse so far is the assortment of hideous bicycles that people have been emailing me. I'm grateful that they are compelled to share, though many of these bikes haunt my sleep.
During my vacation, I'll post some of the more baffling and disturbing of these bicycles. I'll spare you the descriptions and include only the photo for you to contemplate, and a link where applicable. A number of them are from eBay. (Sadly, I think all the auctions have ended.) All of them speak for themselves.
Here's the first, more to come while I'm gone. (I'm not kind enough to spare you completely.) Thanks for reading everybody, and thanks those of you who have emailed bikes. I'll resume full updates when I get back.
--BSNYC
Fixedgeargallery: The Monied Interloper
Fixedgeargallery is full of endearing (if often misguided) first-time budget builds. While these tend to lack brakes, handlebar tape, and attention to detail, there is still a certain charm in the owners' enthusiasm, and one hopes their nascent love for cycling (whether fixed or free) will continue to grow. And even the NJS vanity bikes often at least display a little youthful exuberance.
Occasionally, though, somebody dripping with money decides to wander into the party with a little bit of crotch-candy, casually flaunting it as if to say, "Here's a little conversion I threw together out of odds and ends." This is one such bike:
Or in human form if you prefer:
Nuzzling what appears to be a covered luxury car of some kind, this bike looks like a pastel-clad investment banker leaning against the mantel at a country club. Just another bauble for someone with a house full of mirror-polished toys that nobody else is allowed to touch. "Oh, this old thing? Why, that's just my rain bike." I wonder if after rainy rides, as the owner rolls into the garage, he is greeted by a fleet of footmen, three of whom immediately begin cleaning the bicycle, two of whom strip the rider from his kit and dry and powder him, and one of whom lifts the cover from a silver charger laden with post-ride chèvre and grapes or pepper-crusted yellowfin tuna. "Recovery canapées, sir?" Exhibiting a precious bicycle like this on Fixedgeargallery is like being 50 and drag-racing high school students in your Porsche, or like putting the moves your son's hot girlfriend. And coming across a picture like this is about as pleasurable as coming home from a day in coal mine and finding a postcard from your rich friend in on a cycling holiday in Tuscany.
Messr. Serotta should hire this Nishiki to caddy for him--it's the Danny Noonan to his Judge Smails:
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Put Up Or Be Quiet: Would You Still Ride?
On a recent commute, I was waiting at a red light (I do occasionally stop for them) and was joined by three other commuters. As the light changed we passed somebody who, upon seeing four bikes together (my word!), asked loudly in an irritated tone: “What is there, a marathon today?”
Such moments hurt my brain so badly that it’s almost enough to make me stop riding. (Well, not really.)
But I do think that each and every one of us has our own personal breaking point at which we’d give up cycling. I’m not talking about injuries or anything like that. I’m talking about having to put up with something so inconvenient, awkward, or embarrassing that it would be enough to drive you to something else. And I think this breaking point is different for each of us.
While we all like to think we're above caring about how we look or what we ride, we're also conveniently never required to put ourselves to the test. Following are some scenarios to contemplate. Read each one, suspend your disbelief, and ask yourself, “Would I still ride?” Be honest with yourself—nobody else has to know. Some of these scenarios aren’t so bad (in fact, many may already be riding this way), and some are, objectively speaking, awful. So read on and discover your limit.
Would you still ride if:
You can only ride on pavement.
You can only ride offroad.
You can only ride in USA Cycling-sanctioned races. That’s it: no commuting, no training (indoor or outdoor), no recreational rides of any kind.
You can only ride in charity rides. (Shortest route only where distance is optional.)
You cannot change any item on your bicycle (including inner tubes, though they may be patched) for two years.
You only have three choices of jersey (all XXL): a maillot jaune, a Mapei jersey, or this jersey from Primal Wear:
You can only ride tubulars. (Yes, even on your mountain bike. 650s and Dugasts allowed.)
You can only ride a full downhill rig with 25mm slicks (regardless of terrain).
You can only ride one of those trials bikes with no seat.
You can only ride a beach cruiser with speedplays and full CSC team kit.
You can never wear a helmet.
You must always wear a helmet, but it has to be a replica of the one Greg LeMond wore in the Champs-Elysees time trial in the ’89 Tour de France, and it has to be the wrong size.
You can only ride in flip-flops on flat pedals with no foot retention system of any kind.
You can only ride a fixed-gear bicycle with no brake and a 14x50 gear.
You can only ride the above with flat pedals, pennyloafers, and no foot retention system of any kind.
You can only ride a keirin bike that has been modified to run disc brakes and a singlespeed freewheel. Otherwise the bike must be entirely NJS.
You can only ride against traffic (including criteriums, road- or off-road races, or in velodromes)
You can only ride one of Sheldon Brown’s wacky bikes
You can only ride a tandem.
You can only pilot a tandem with Sheldon Brown as your stoker.
You can only pilot a tandem with Sheldon Brown as your stoker and reading aloud from seminal works of science fiction through a megaphone.
You must ride a different bike each day. That bicycle will be the first bike that randomly comes up when you log on to velospace each morning. (Right now it happens to be, unbelievably, a dual-suspension Schwinn Homegrown)
The same as above, but instead you must ride the first complete bike that comes up on eBay when you search for “road bike” and select “ending soonest.” (Right now it happens to be a 58cm carbon Felt road bike with Dura Ace. But tomorrow’s another day.)
You can only ride a Rivendell with a 3’x5’ billboard affixed to it that bears a photo of Grant Peterson and the words, “Your handlebars should be higher than your saddle!”
You can ride any bicycle you want, provided it is equipped with a dynamo hub powering a phonograph that plays old Edith Piaf records. (This should be particularly amusing in a cyclocross race.)
And the ultimate test for those of you still standing: you must ride a recumbent.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #14 and #15
Well, the riders in the Tour aren't the only ones on drugs. There's clearly some serious substance abuse among the local riders selling their bikes on Craigslist as well. If you're looking to open a bicycle freakshow out in Coney Island before it's redeveloped, here's a brace of audaciously-priced bicycles that will round out your Stable of Horrors:
--dabikejack--Vintage Peugeot Road Conversion - $350 (East Village) [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/381111244.html]
Reply to: see below
Cannondale Road Bike [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/bik/381118601.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-07-24, 1:29PM EDT
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-07-24, 1:29PM EDT
Cannondale Road Bike, Color white, New Tires, Brakes, Grips, Chain, etc. The bike just had a tune up 2 weeks ago. Runs in excellent condition/ very fast. Selling the bike w/ the stand, bike mini carrying pouches, speed o meter and Air pump.
For Sale $1500 negotiable.
Interested Call: [deleted]
Open to Serious Buyers
OK, this asking price is stunning, though it's negotiable of course. You have to love that boneheaded negotiating tactic--start with an absurdly high asking price in hopes of negotiating down to a ridiculously high selling price. He must be a NYC realtor. Then again he may be on to something--anyone dumb enough to even consider this bike at that price probably can't read the word "negotiable." Another hallmark of the Craigslist scrap-metal purveyor is mentioning the name of the color and then further explaining that that's in fact the color of the bike, as in: "blue in color," or "red in color." Here he says it's "color white." Thanks, just "white" would have been enough. People like this generally go on to say something about how the bike "runs," and this one's no exception. Bikes don't run! Cars run. Motorcycles run. People who have bought crappy Cannondales on Craigslist run after their bike falls apart and they have no other way to exercise. Then again, this bike does come with what appears to be an ammonia bottle on the downtube, in addition to a pair of simply mind-boggling handlebars. These bars were either built by Shiva the Destroyer or a very sentimental Irishman. If you buy this, just be careful not to get your head stuck in there.
--dabikejack--Vintage Peugeot Road Conversion - $350 (East Village) [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/381111244.html]Reply to: see below
Date: 2007-07-24, 1:19PM EDT
White, vintage Peugot Road conversion. Fixed or free wheel (flip-flop hub). 22 inches/48cm. Bull horn handlebars, leather saddle, black rims, yellow tires. Very good condition. For pickup, but will ship or deliver at additional cost.
Call Shane: [deleted]
$350? Come on. This is the most pathetic thing from France I've seen since Christophe Moreau. And who the hell is actually going to want this thing shipped to them? If this showed up at my house I'd move.
BSNYC Marketing Report
I think we're all in agreement on what cycling needs most. More races? Nope. Better roads? Uh-uh. Safe places to park our bikes? Absolutely not. No, what we need are more sponsorship dollars! And as a service to potential advertisers, I've compiled a primer on the three most popular forms of urban cycling to help them decide where to most effectively paste their messages. Hopefully we'll see lots more logos soon!
Road Cyclists
If you’re like most business owners, you’re thinking, “Gee, I’d really like to spend the money to sponsor a local racing team despite the fact that it will offer me no meaningful exposure or return on my investment. But my company’s logo and/or color scheme is just too darn ugly to expect anybody to wear it!”
Wrong on both counts!
Firstly, you don’t need to spend any “money” to sponsor a local road team. You see, for road cyclists, wearing your company’s logo on their kits (whether your company is the Discovery Channel or the local urologist’s office) is in and of itself a status symbol. You don’t have to actually pay the riders to wear the logo. Just offer something—anything—in return so they can justify it to themselves. 10% off on a urinalysis should do it.
Secondly, if you think your logo is too ugly, think again! These people want to look like professionals. Have you ever seen a pro road kit? Those things will make you go cross-eyed. And amateurs will do whatever pros do. Whether it’s spending $2,000 to ride the same wheels as this year’s Giro winner, injecting their own dog’s blood, or wearing a uniform that’s still completely visible after you’ve closed your eyes, these people will do it. (And that includes emblazoning your logo across their asses. Just imagine your urology clinic’s name on an amateur cyclist’s posterior. You’ll be up to your vas deferens in customers!)
If you’re like most business owners, you’re thinking, “Gee, I’d really like to spend the money to sponsor a local racing team despite the fact that it will offer me no meaningful exposure or return on my investment. But my company’s logo and/or color scheme is just too darn ugly to expect anybody to wear it!”
Wrong on both counts!
Firstly, you don’t need to spend any “money” to sponsor a local road team. You see, for road cyclists, wearing your company’s logo on their kits (whether your company is the Discovery Channel or the local urologist’s office) is in and of itself a status symbol. You don’t have to actually pay the riders to wear the logo. Just offer something—anything—in return so they can justify it to themselves. 10% off on a urinalysis should do it.
Secondly, if you think your logo is too ugly, think again! These people want to look like professionals. Have you ever seen a pro road kit? Those things will make you go cross-eyed. And amateurs will do whatever pros do. Whether it’s spending $2,000 to ride the same wheels as this year’s Giro winner, injecting their own dog’s blood, or wearing a uniform that’s still completely visible after you’ve closed your eyes, these people will do it. (And that includes emblazoning your logo across their asses. Just imagine your urology clinic’s name on an amateur cyclist’s posterior. You’ll be up to your vas deferens in customers!)
(Yikes! They'll wear it though...a urologist's dream team.)
Fixed-Gear Cyclists
The urban fixed-gear scene is growing faster than any segment of the cycling population. As such, it is a potential sponsorship goldmine. Imagine an army of billboards, criss-crossing the trendiest neighborhoods in America at nearly walking speed and parading themselves in front of the most coveted marketing demographic in existence.
“But why would these soldiers on the hemmoraging edge of chic want to wear my stodgy logo?,” you may ask. Well, because they need money. When you’re a freelancer riding a brakeless $2,500 keirin bicycle with no health insurance living in one of America’s most expensive cities, you need cash for bike upgrades.
And as the canvases on which these riders express their uniquely individualistic urge to ride what everyone else is riding, these bicycles are ideally suited to carrying advertisements. Imagine a top-tube pad printed to look like a hero with the logo: “Subway. Eat Fresh!” Or a 40mm Deep-V rim covered with the URLs of soon-to-be released blockbuster films. Or an Aerospoke custom-painted to look like a Pizza Hut stuffed-crust pie.
Given many of these riders’ propensity for doing trackstands and lazy figure-eights in front of trendy clothing boutiques, restaurants, and bars, your sponsorship money will double itself overnight. Not to mention provide many a needy 20-something with gold-anodized handlebars.
(Your logo here! Or here...or here...or here...)Triathletes
Many advertisers are too quick to dismiss the effectiveness of the “it’s so hideous I can’t look away” ad placement. Now, that’s not to say you should set up a sandwich board at the scene of a grizzly auto accident, or advertise in some repulsive periodical like “Boil Lancing Monthly” or “Bicycling.” But it does mean you should occasionally think outside the bento-box when it comes to marketing.
Which is where triathletes come in. While nobody likes to see a middle-aged investment banker in a crop-top and a pair of shorts he got from an old “Laugh In” go-go dancer riding a time trial bike with a lunchbox on the top tube and a straw sticking out of the handlebars, as humans inexorably drawn to gaping at the horrific we often cannot look away. And while these riders tend towards clothing so immodest that it makes road cyclists look like professional golfers, their pointy aero helmets and disc wheels offer sizeable surfaces on which to plaster your message. If you dare. (Note: PSAs and charity advertisements work best here. Visual horrors tend to put people in a repentant frame of mind.)
Many advertisers are too quick to dismiss the effectiveness of the “it’s so hideous I can’t look away” ad placement. Now, that’s not to say you should set up a sandwich board at the scene of a grizzly auto accident, or advertise in some repulsive periodical like “Boil Lancing Monthly” or “Bicycling.” But it does mean you should occasionally think outside the bento-box when it comes to marketing.
Which is where triathletes come in. While nobody likes to see a middle-aged investment banker in a crop-top and a pair of shorts he got from an old “Laugh In” go-go dancer riding a time trial bike with a lunchbox on the top tube and a straw sticking out of the handlebars, as humans inexorably drawn to gaping at the horrific we often cannot look away. And while these riders tend towards clothing so immodest that it makes road cyclists look like professional golfers, their pointy aero helmets and disc wheels offer sizeable surfaces on which to plaster your message. If you dare. (Note: PSAs and charity advertisements work best here. Visual horrors tend to put people in a repentant frame of mind.)
(This will scare your ass into making a donation.)
I hope this has helped you to reach a decision. We look forward to cashing your checks.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Clash of the Mono-Cog Titans: Fixedgeargallery vs. Velospace
If you own a potential internet showbike, probably the biggest question on your mind (after what color Deep Vs to get) is: "Where should I post my pictures?" Well, the two biggest online runway shows are arguably fixedgeargallery.com and velospace.org. To help you decide where to submit your photos, I have decided to pit the two against each-other. They will compete in six categories, which will determine the overall winner:
Between what I've seen online and what I've seen on the streets, the old Peugeot is probably the single most commonly converted bike out there. This one, with the requisite bullhorns and Brooks saddle, has little to distinguish it from the herd. Except perhaps the color-coordinated water bottle.
Naked risers. No grips, no brake levers, no clips on the pedals. A solid entry indeed. (Bonus points for matching the bike to the patio furniture.)
Proudly, the bull elk surveys his territory, his mighty antlers sending a clarion call to the rest of the males: "This pond is mine."
Unfortunately no bike was able to compete with the Velospace bike. So instead I present this gorilla, the only beast capable of riding it comfortably.
The "Why Bother Posting This?" Competition
Between what I've seen online and what I've seen on the streets, the old Peugeot is probably the single most commonly converted bike out there. This one, with the requisite bullhorns and Brooks saddle, has little to distinguish it from the herd. Except perhaps the color-coordinated water bottle.
The Naked Handlebar Competition
Naked risers. No grips, no brake levers, no clips on the pedals. A solid entry indeed. (Bonus points for matching the bike to the patio furniture.)
Proudly, the bull elk surveys his territory, his mighty antlers sending a clarion call to the rest of the males: "This pond is mine."
Winner: Velospace
Unrideable Geometry Competition
Unrideable Geometry Competition
This contortionist's dream raises many questions. Chief among them is, "Why do people put bullhorns on everything except bikes that actually call for them?" The full poker hand of spoke cards, designer top tube pad, and front Hed tri wheel are all bonuses. This bike in motion is doubtless an MC Escher print come to life--eternally descending, yet remaining level. Heavy.
Unfortunately no bike was able to compete with the Velospace bike. So instead I present this gorilla, the only beast capable of riding it comfortably.Winner: Velospace
Hellbent for Leather Competition
With its leather bar wrap, matching Brooks saddle and Burberry top tube pad (!), this old chap is an Anglophile's delightfully naughty dream. Despite the spoke card, this bicycle evokes images of fox huts, bowls of bread pudding, tweed hats, and sexless nights with prudish spouses. If this picture were to come to life, an old Rudge would open up that turquoise door and invite it in for tea.
This bike is more of a cowboy's mount. I can see the owner riding it in a Stetson and urging it along by gently swatting its rump with a lariat. Maybe he'd occasionally rope a BMX or something. And with Bicycle Polo an apparent hit, could Bicycle Rodeo be far off? Still, it's not quite as evocative as the Bob Jackson.
Hellbent for Leather Competition
With its leather bar wrap, matching Brooks saddle and Burberry top tube pad (!), this old chap is an Anglophile's delightfully naughty dream. Despite the spoke card, this bicycle evokes images of fox huts, bowls of bread pudding, tweed hats, and sexless nights with prudish spouses. If this picture were to come to life, an old Rudge would open up that turquoise door and invite it in for tea.
This bike is more of a cowboy's mount. I can see the owner riding it in a Stetson and urging it along by gently swatting its rump with a lariat. Maybe he'd occasionally rope a BMX or something. And with Bicycle Polo an apparent hit, could Bicycle Rodeo be far off? Still, it's not quite as evocative as the Bob Jackson.
Winner: Fixedgeargallery
Best Cheap Tart Competition
This simple Pista with the caked-on blue eyeshadow and patterned cocktail dress looks like a teenager from Flushing who's sneaked out of the house for a night in the city. And just like Mom and Dad can't stop a willful teenager, the rider can't stop this bike. No brake, no straps, no problem. 
The spoke card and ATACs on this bike suggest the owner intended to build a dedicated track bike but chickened out at the last minute. And are the $400 Easton carbon bars better without tape, or was there just not enough money left in the budget?
"My bike is race-ready and attractive--albeit in a tube-of-toothpaste sort of way. How can I make it look more special? I know! I'll put some gold crap on it! Yeah, that's better. Now it looks like a marathon runner wearing a rope chain."
Best Cheap Tart Competition
This simple Pista with the caked-on blue eyeshadow and patterned cocktail dress looks like a teenager from Flushing who's sneaked out of the house for a night in the city. And just like Mom and Dad can't stop a willful teenager, the rider can't stop this bike. No brake, no straps, no problem.
Is the yellow handlebar tape on backorder?Best Bianchi Pista Concept Competition
The spoke card and ATACs on this bike suggest the owner intended to build a dedicated track bike but chickened out at the last minute. And are the $400 Easton carbon bars better without tape, or was there just not enough money left in the budget?
"My bike is race-ready and attractive--albeit in a tube-of-toothpaste sort of way. How can I make it look more special? I know! I'll put some gold crap on it! Yeah, that's better. Now it looks like a marathon runner wearing a rope chain."Winner: Velospace
Final Result: Velospace takes it, four to two! Step it up, Fixedgeargallery!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Fixedgeargallery...of celebrity doppelgangers
In our celebrity-obsessed culture, it's inevitable that bikes sometimes reflect the brightest stars of the pop-culture firmament. Here are some examples:
This bike screams "Molly Ringwald" all the way. Same color scheme, same time period, same dowdy accessories and same awkward stance.
"Let's Get Physical"
This bike screams "Molly Ringwald" all the way. Same color scheme, same time period, same dowdy accessories and same awkward stance.
"Let's Get Physical"
This is the polar opposite of the Molly Ringwald bike. Purple fade, bandana, spokey-dokeys...this bike wants to be in an aerobics studio. Let me hear your body talk!
With its careful color coordination, trendy "hardcore" accessories, skater aesthetic, and diminutive stance, this bike could be any one of the members of fake punk band Good Charlotte. (Or Blink 182, or Sum 41, or...)
Deliverance
When I stumbled upon this picture on Fixedgeargallery it chilled me to the bone. A lonely bike in shadow on a muddy river bank. Something terrible is about to happen. I sense a couple of rusty old Schwinns missing some spokes lurking in the trees. This bike is definitely the Jon Voight character, though. If it were Burt Reynolds it would have a top-tube pad.
"Good Times"
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #11, #12, and # 13
If you’re looking for entertaining and/or insightful Tour de France and general bike racing commentary [past and present], go here, here, and here. If you're looking for the muck that congeals on the bottom of the fetid public pool that is the NYC bikes for sale section of Craigslist, stay right here. Watch out for Legionnaire's disease:
Boutique MTB crankset - Curve - $50 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/377132735.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-07-19, 12:07AM EDT
Curve 175mm 94BCD 5-arm mtb crankset. Kept as a spare, pretty much brand new. Crank arms only. I dare you to find another pair. $50
For $15 more, I can add a brand new Ritchey 42t ring + singlespeed crank bolts and make it a singlespeed crankset.
You dare me? How dare you! And you know what? I'm immature enough to take a dare so I did a little searching online. You're right, I couldn't find anything. But that's not a selling point. Rare and "boutique" are not smart choices when it comes to MTB cranks. And sometimes things are hard to find for a reason. If they are truly desireable collectibles take them to eBay.
Trek Singlespeed - $200 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/377327854.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-07-19, 10:45AM EDT
Large frame 24" or 61 cm --for someone over 5'10"
in good condition, small paint chips, very little rust new seat, bar ends, and chain tensioner. (see pics) Bike is big, light and very fast... email me to ride,
do not be short, you will not like it
The admonition to the vertically challenged is offensive. What’s not to like about being short? Are you some kind of heightist? Or are you sharing personal experience?
Anyway, nobody of any height will like your bicycle. $200?!? Your picture of that bike is worth more than the actual bike. That is not a singlespeed—it’s a piece of crap that’s missing its derailleurs. Please move it so I can have an unspoiled view of that brick wall, which is infintely more attractive.
Anyway, nobody of any height will like your bicycle. $200?!? Your picture of that bike is worth more than the actual bike. That is not a singlespeed—it’s a piece of crap that’s missing its derailleurs. Please move it so I can have an unspoiled view of that brick wall, which is infintely more attractive.
Wanted- track tri-spoke or aerospoke front wheel velocity rear - $1 (Lower East Side) [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/377276082.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-07-19, 9:17AM EDT
looking for a couple things for my latest project:
-tri-spoke front wheel (100mm spacing)
-aerospoke front wheel (100mm spacing)
-unmachined white velocity rear wheel (or just the rim)
-track cranks. (something that fits my campy BB)
let me know if you have any of these. will buy or trade. i have a canon digital slr cam that im def willing to barter!
WILL ONLY DEAL LOCALLY.
Here comes another one, ready to trade the birthday present from Mom and Dad to build his trendy dream bike... Okay, firstly, that's more than a "couple things." Second, that’s cool if you want to build your bike according to “The Urban Fixie Checklist,” but putting the word out on Craigslist is like being a beautiful woman and going to one of those “Men $20, Ladies Free” nights at a club, or like being a vegetarian at a Dim Sum restaurant. You’re going to be offered a whole lot of disgusting things you don’t want. I'd shop elsewhere.
Boutique MTB crankset - Curve - $50 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/377132735.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-07-19, 12:07AM EDT
Curve 175mm 94BCD 5-arm mtb crankset. Kept as a spare, pretty much brand new. Crank arms only. I dare you to find another pair. $50
For $15 more, I can add a brand new Ritchey 42t ring + singlespeed crank bolts and make it a singlespeed crankset.
You dare me? How dare you! And you know what? I'm immature enough to take a dare so I did a little searching online. You're right, I couldn't find anything. But that's not a selling point. Rare and "boutique" are not smart choices when it comes to MTB cranks. And sometimes things are hard to find for a reason. If they are truly desireable collectibles take them to eBay.
Well, At Least More People Are Riding...Right?
When confronted with something like the above (sent to me by Stevil Knievel of Howtoavoidthebummerlife, who seems to know exactly how to push my buttons), we often can't help feeling angry and offended. And of course maybe it's not a trendy track bike that does it for you. Maybe it's an ultralight road bike straight from the pages of Bicycling buckling under an overweight guy in a full CSC kit, or a freeride bike with more travel than JFK airport on Thanksgiving being piloted on pavement by a guy in full body armor. Whatever. You can't help it. You get angry.
But, if you're a better person than me, you check yourself. Instead of criticizing them, you take a breath and say, "Well, at least more people are riding these days."
Really though? I mean, intellectually I know that's a good thing, but there's also that part of me that screams, "No, it isn't!" It's the same part of me that says it's OK to have another drink, or to pull off and let the guy behind me close the gap instead. And deep down most of us can't help occasionally feeling like cycling is ours, and that people need to fit our criteria and pass our tests before they can be cyclists too.
Of course as humans we have a conscience and most of the time manage to keep our baser instincts subdued. Nonetheless, here are some things (courtesy of youtube) that won't let me completely accept the fact that it's a good thing that more people are riding, no matter how hard I try:
Intoxicated Bike Polo
Apart from the fact that no horses are suffering, I see nothing to feel good about here.
Crackpot Inventors
It's bad enough that bike companies keep trying to trick us into upgrading with overpriced and underperforming technology. We don't need guys like this entering the fray with their ridiculous contraptions. Despite the focus group of Scottish schoolboys, I don't see a future for this particular design.
Euro-style Coddling and Handholding
Yes, I know America is evil and Europe is a wonderful place full of free medical care, polyglot people, and progressive thinking where nothing ever goes wrong. And I know I should like something like this--after all, it would allow more people in hillier regions to ride bicycles. But I'm not sure we should ever have this here because I'm not sure America can handle it. Just wait until the day you see somebody on a Colnago or a track bike with a 49/15 gear using one of these things. Or someone on a Costco bike eating a bag of McDonald's on the way up. You won't think it's so cute then.
PSAs
This well-intentioned PSA from the NHTSA has some helpful tips for the novice cyclist. But there are also some things it fails to address. Like the minivan straddling two lanes carrying a family of 17, all speaking on cellphones. Or the car service that has no qualms about running me down if it will save a few seconds getting to his next fare. Or the dreaded Hummer from Jersey. The kind and gentle environment this film depicts does not reflect what many of us encounter every day. Sometimes laws need to be broken and the cyclist needs to be on the offensive. I fear if new cyclists venture out into the world armed with only the knowledge from this film that they'll be picked off one-by-one, like newborn sea turtles getting snatched off the beach by birds.
Bad TV
My friend (yes, I do have one) recently told me about the TV show "Double Rush" from 1995. I think they only aired the pilot. You may already have seen this. If you haven't, here's the pitch: "Taxi" meets "Cheers," set in a New York City messenger company office. Complete with laugh track and typical sitcom banter, this is funny for all the wrong reasons. And while the opening sequence and the casting is impressive, a very real danger of more cyclists out there is that somebody might be tempted to try something like this again.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Great Moments In (Local) Cyclesport
The Tour de France is in full swing. As I’ve said before, I have no intention of commenting on the race. However, as the exploits that will become tomorrow’s legends and scandals unfold, I think it is important to remember that the roads of France are not the only backdrop for excitement. Countless dramas unfold in every local race as well. Here are just a few examples of beautiful moments of triumph and defeat taking place in our own backyard that rival anything in the Tour:
--6:00am, Prospect Park, Brooklyn. A rider on a $900 wheelset rolls up to the registration area with a $2,000 wheelset strapped to his back. We can only imagine that later today he will put on a suit to go to the grocery store and then change into a tux to do some barbecuing.
--A nine-man team wearing matching kit and riding custom-painted matching bicycles with SRMs discusses tactics as they line up to start in one of the lower category races.
--Lap three. A few riders go off the front. From the rear of the pack a rider just barely hanging on summons his last bit of breath to bravely shout, “Close that gap!” He is then dropped.
--A rider on a carbon-fiber Pinarello risks his fingers to adjust the hockey puck-sized computer sensor on his wavy Onda fork. He is apparently more concerned with closing gaps in his training data than with closing gaps in the actual race. He nearly takes out three other riders but manages not to sacrifice a digit to his bladed Zicral spokes. Reconnected to his life-giving data stream, he resumes not racing.
--On the big-ring “climb” during a lull in the action, a rider inexplicably blows up, sits up, and moves backwards diagonally, nearly taking out half the pack in a 7/10 split.
--A rider with no visible race number adjusts the volume on his iPod.
--The group laps one of the lower-category fields just as they are finishing. The matching nine-man squad has begun their leadout, jettisoning their water bottles in perfect synchronicity. However, as the two fields combine, there is some confusion as to which field should be neutralized. After the race, the protests will continue well into the afternoon. At stake for the lower category riders: pride, fulfillment of sponsorship obligations, and a tin novelty medal on a red, white, and blue nylon ribbon. At stake for the higher category riders: lunch money.
--One lap to go. All places up the road in a breakaway. A rider demands a bottle from his teammate and proceeds to shower himself like the Maillot Jaune on Alpe d’Huez. But the joke is on him. The bottle is filled with Cytomax.
--The guy on the $2,000 wheelset punctures and is out of the race.
--The marshals whose job it is to keep the park road clear have gotten impatient and gone home. A guy on a hybrid gets the scare of his life when 80 riders in lycra suddenly appear around him, screaming at him to “keep right.”
--6:00am, Prospect Park, Brooklyn. A rider on a $900 wheelset rolls up to the registration area with a $2,000 wheelset strapped to his back. We can only imagine that later today he will put on a suit to go to the grocery store and then change into a tux to do some barbecuing.
--A nine-man team wearing matching kit and riding custom-painted matching bicycles with SRMs discusses tactics as they line up to start in one of the lower category races.
--Lap three. A few riders go off the front. From the rear of the pack a rider just barely hanging on summons his last bit of breath to bravely shout, “Close that gap!” He is then dropped.
--A rider on a carbon-fiber Pinarello risks his fingers to adjust the hockey puck-sized computer sensor on his wavy Onda fork. He is apparently more concerned with closing gaps in his training data than with closing gaps in the actual race. He nearly takes out three other riders but manages not to sacrifice a digit to his bladed Zicral spokes. Reconnected to his life-giving data stream, he resumes not racing.
--On the big-ring “climb” during a lull in the action, a rider inexplicably blows up, sits up, and moves backwards diagonally, nearly taking out half the pack in a 7/10 split.
--A rider with no visible race number adjusts the volume on his iPod.
--The group laps one of the lower-category fields just as they are finishing. The matching nine-man squad has begun their leadout, jettisoning their water bottles in perfect synchronicity. However, as the two fields combine, there is some confusion as to which field should be neutralized. After the race, the protests will continue well into the afternoon. At stake for the lower category riders: pride, fulfillment of sponsorship obligations, and a tin novelty medal on a red, white, and blue nylon ribbon. At stake for the higher category riders: lunch money.
--One lap to go. All places up the road in a breakaway. A rider demands a bottle from his teammate and proceeds to shower himself like the Maillot Jaune on Alpe d’Huez. But the joke is on him. The bottle is filled with Cytomax.
--The guy on the $2,000 wheelset punctures and is out of the race.
--The marshals whose job it is to keep the park road clear have gotten impatient and gone home. A guy on a hybrid gets the scare of his life when 80 riders in lycra suddenly appear around him, screaming at him to “keep right.”
--Final lap. Five riders go down in the sprint for 19th place. $5,000 worth of carbon fiber shattered.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Bicycles and Their Counterparts In Nature
Most of us at some point or another find it necessary to delude ourselves into believing there's some kind of order and symmetry in the Universe. Whatever. But one interesting aspect of this is the Platonic Ideal. Now, I don't think every piece of crap here has some perfect counterpart in some other world we can't visit. But I do think that every bicycle I see has some perfect living counterpart out there in the natural world--a non-bicycle doppelganger. Here are some examples:
Worst of NYC Craigslist SPECIAL EDITION: More Bike Love
For many of us, cycling is something we love. And with anything you love, there are pitfalls to be avoided at all costs. In cycling, one of these pitfalls is trying to commingle love of the bike with other, incompatible aspects of life--like relationships. In particular, seeing a bicycle as some sort of conduit into a life of romantic bliss is a dangerous delusion. Just because you have a bike, or he or she has a bike, or you both have a bike, doesn't mean anything. Coupled with that, as humans we seem to always want the worst thing for us: think fatty foods, intoxicants, and Ksyriums. The result is, if you're predicating a seduction on a bicycle, more likely than not, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. Nonetheless, you can see people heading into this punji stick trap pretty much every day in the Craigslist "Missed Connections" section:
You ran over my cat with your fixed gear track bike - m4w - 24
Reply to: [deleted]: 2007-07-16, 11:04AM EDT
You were the tall, skinny girl in the skinny jeans and winter cap who ran over my cat last week because you could not stop your fixed gear track bike in time. Don't you think you should pay my vet bills? Also, I thought you were cute, even if in a stinky and reckless sort of way. Maybe if we get over this hump we can go hang out together and stuff. Do you like Japanther?
Yes, I already posted this one, but I'm posting it again since he added the bit about "Do you like Japanther?" In fact he's posted this a few times since I linked to it last. Obviously it's a fake, but what's this guy's motivation? Laughs? Attention? Is he trying to solicit serious replies? Regardless, it's a perfect example of people wanting the worst thing for them--like making a keirin bike with no tire clearance, no braze-ons, and no provision for a brake your only ride. She ran over his cat, and guaranteed if they get together she'll end up severing some part of his body in her fixed-gear drivetrain.
your dread mullet is gone.... - w4m - 20 (Lower East Side)
Reply to: [deleted]: 2007-07-14, 3:08PM EDT
but i still like the way the elephant on the back of your leg moves when you ride your bike on Ave A. lets split a pack of blue American Spirits
"Yeah, could you do a tattoo that looks like it's moving when I ride my fixed-gear?" Just like the decals sell the bike, the hair, clothes and accessories sell the person. Another potential disaster. At 20 years old I suppose this poor girl is still about six broke musicians and four STDs away from figuring out what to actually look for in a guy. Though I suppose the fact that she still likes him despite his having cut off his "dread mullet" implies she's maturing a bit.
Woman on Track Bike - m4w - 29
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-07-14, 11:43AM EDT
Saturday morning you were riding w me down 5th ave from 42nd street to union square. i had a white track bike. you had blue shorts and you had yellow bull horn handle bars. ive been looking for a track bike riding partner that can keep up, and your super fast. wanna hit the streets?
Mixing romance and cycling can be tricky. Certainly some people can do it successfully. (Tim Johnson and Lynn Bessette for example.) But more often trying to find a partner whose interest in cycling equals yours is a bad idea. As George Costanza will tell you, worlds will collide. Finding a girl who likes to drink beer and watch sports, or a guy who likes to shop and get manicures (just to employ some tired stereotypes) might seem like a good idea in theory, but you might not be so happy once it actually happens.
That said, I see two potential scenarios here. In the first, an overzealous guy with no riding partners attempts to show off and drops a frustrated and bored girl at every intersection. In the second, an overzealous guy with no riding partners gets dropped at every intersection by a girl who's a much stronger rider than him. I think in either case this guy will eventually learn to do what the rest of us do: regale our significant others with greatly enhanced tales of our riding exploits after we get home.
you were riding the train i was riding my bike - m4w - 23
Reply to:[deleted]
Date: 2007-07-12, 9:39PM EDT
I know this sounds silly, and so late, but i haven't stopped thinking about you. you were on the train and i was riding my bike over the manhattan bridge, tried to give you my number. i remember your dark hair and waving to me. i hope to god you are looking at this, cuz that would fucking rock
yours aaron
Okay, I'll admit it. This one plucked the spokes of my heart. I imagine the kid from "Breaking Away," riding his red Masi next to the Q train as a dark-haired bambina waves a white hanky from within, like a parting scene in an old movie. This idyll is only slightly tainted by his use of the phrase, "that would fucking rock." Of course it's possible that this guy is an unemployed lunatic who spends the day riding back and forth pantsless on the Manhattan Bridge pedestrian path, trying desperately to get the attention of women on the train. And of course it's also possible that what he interpreted as a wave was in fact an obscene gesture of some kind. Nonetheless, I'm going to allow myself to remain deluded, and to imagine that somewhere something is happening that doesn't completely piss me off.
You ran over my cat with your fixed gear track bike - m4w - 24
Reply to: [deleted]: 2007-07-16, 11:04AM EDT
You were the tall, skinny girl in the skinny jeans and winter cap who ran over my cat last week because you could not stop your fixed gear track bike in time. Don't you think you should pay my vet bills? Also, I thought you were cute, even if in a stinky and reckless sort of way. Maybe if we get over this hump we can go hang out together and stuff. Do you like Japanther?
Yes, I already posted this one, but I'm posting it again since he added the bit about "Do you like Japanther?" In fact he's posted this a few times since I linked to it last. Obviously it's a fake, but what's this guy's motivation? Laughs? Attention? Is he trying to solicit serious replies? Regardless, it's a perfect example of people wanting the worst thing for them--like making a keirin bike with no tire clearance, no braze-ons, and no provision for a brake your only ride. She ran over his cat, and guaranteed if they get together she'll end up severing some part of his body in her fixed-gear drivetrain.
your dread mullet is gone.... - w4m - 20 (Lower East Side)
Reply to: [deleted]: 2007-07-14, 3:08PM EDT
but i still like the way the elephant on the back of your leg moves when you ride your bike on Ave A. lets split a pack of blue American Spirits
"Yeah, could you do a tattoo that looks like it's moving when I ride my fixed-gear?" Just like the decals sell the bike, the hair, clothes and accessories sell the person. Another potential disaster. At 20 years old I suppose this poor girl is still about six broke musicians and four STDs away from figuring out what to actually look for in a guy. Though I suppose the fact that she still likes him despite his having cut off his "dread mullet" implies she's maturing a bit.
Woman on Track Bike - m4w - 29
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-07-14, 11:43AM EDT
Saturday morning you were riding w me down 5th ave from 42nd street to union square. i had a white track bike. you had blue shorts and you had yellow bull horn handle bars. ive been looking for a track bike riding partner that can keep up, and your super fast. wanna hit the streets?
Mixing romance and cycling can be tricky. Certainly some people can do it successfully. (Tim Johnson and Lynn Bessette for example.) But more often trying to find a partner whose interest in cycling equals yours is a bad idea. As George Costanza will tell you, worlds will collide. Finding a girl who likes to drink beer and watch sports, or a guy who likes to shop and get manicures (just to employ some tired stereotypes) might seem like a good idea in theory, but you might not be so happy once it actually happens.
That said, I see two potential scenarios here. In the first, an overzealous guy with no riding partners attempts to show off and drops a frustrated and bored girl at every intersection. In the second, an overzealous guy with no riding partners gets dropped at every intersection by a girl who's a much stronger rider than him. I think in either case this guy will eventually learn to do what the rest of us do: regale our significant others with greatly enhanced tales of our riding exploits after we get home.
you were riding the train i was riding my bike - m4w - 23
Reply to:[deleted]
Date: 2007-07-12, 9:39PM EDT
I know this sounds silly, and so late, but i haven't stopped thinking about you. you were on the train and i was riding my bike over the manhattan bridge, tried to give you my number. i remember your dark hair and waving to me. i hope to god you are looking at this, cuz that would fucking rock
yours aaron
Okay, I'll admit it. This one plucked the spokes of my heart. I imagine the kid from "Breaking Away," riding his red Masi next to the Q train as a dark-haired bambina waves a white hanky from within, like a parting scene in an old movie. This idyll is only slightly tainted by his use of the phrase, "that would fucking rock." Of course it's possible that this guy is an unemployed lunatic who spends the day riding back and forth pantsless on the Manhattan Bridge pedestrian path, trying desperately to get the attention of women on the train. And of course it's also possible that what he interpreted as a wave was in fact an obscene gesture of some kind. Nonetheless, I'm going to allow myself to remain deluded, and to imagine that somewhere something is happening that doesn't completely piss me off.
Monday, July 16, 2007
New Fixed-Gear Bicycle Owner's Manual
For the most part I like off-the-rack track bikes. More inexpensive entry-level anything is a good thing. It's what a lot of people are doing with these bikes that's infuriating. And manufacturers have followed suit by blithely dismissing brakes on their websites, festooning their bikes with graffiti, and naming models after trendy neighborhoods. Look to find something like this hanging off the bars at your LBS soon:
Furthermore, your drivetrain enables you to enjoy your bicycle without having to actually ride it more than a few feet at a time. Fun things to try include: skidding, skip-stopping, trackstanding, and putting stickers and colorful parts on it.
Upgrading
It is important to begin the process of upgrading your bicycle’s appearance immediately. This can occasionally have the side-effect of improving your bicycle’s performance as well. Fortunately there are increasing numbers of track bicycle boutique shops. These shops dispense with the selection, service, and expertise of old-fashioned bike shops and instead focus on catering to your every candy-colored whim. They can also offer you sound and practical advice. Best of all, they carry lots of cool t-shirts.
Proper Usage
Though the model name or advertising copy for your bicycle may include words like “pista,” “track,” or “entry-level racing,” in no circumstances should you attempt to use your bicycle on or for any of the above. Doing so shall void your warranty.
“Proper Usage” includes: riding slowly to the bike boutique to purchase accessories and clothing; photographing your bike for submission to on-line galleries; participation in ad-hoc skidding contests; and doing track stands for hours outside of the residence of a person you would like to impress.
Handlebars
Your handlebars are wrapped in tape made of synthetic cork. Please note that the purpose of this tape is to protect your bars during shipping. This tape should be removed immediately.
You should be aware that once the tape is removed the bars may be slippery and difficult to grip. If this is the case, remove bars from stem, invert, and re-install. Then, using a hacksaw, cut in the middle of the curved portion until the excess length is removed. Your hands will now be slightly less likely to slip from the bars due to the limited hand position. This is called “flop n’ chop,” and your bicycle is now a gelding.
Brakes
Depending on make and model, your bicycle may have been shipped with a brake or a pair of brakes pre-installed. These brakes should only be used in emergencies. Once you are comfortable bringing the bicycle to a safe and complete stop without using the brakes, they should be removed and discarded.
The term “safe and complete stop” means bringing the bicycle from 5mph to 0mph in a distance of no more than 50 feet.
Safety
Whenever operating your bicycle, safety should be your primary concern. Be sure to have a qualified mechanic install a top-tube pad immediately.
New Fixed-Gear Bicycle Owner's Manual
Contratulations on the purchase of your Bianchi Pista/Specialized Langster/Cannondale Capo/Jamis Sputnik or similar. Your new bicycle should give you many days of enjoyment until you tire of it for aesthetic reasons and list it on Craigslist for the full retail price in order to help fund the purchase of an NJS-certified keirin bike, a vintage Fender Telecaster, or your move to another, trendier city.
Until that moment arrives, here are some things you need to know in order to get the most enjoyment out of your new toy:
A Note on the Fixed Gear Drivetrain
Your bicycle is equipped with a fixed gear drivetrain. For this reason you may want to alter your riding style accordingly. Firstly, ride slowly. Very slowly. This is the best way to avoid obstacles. When riding with friends on city streets, in bike lanes, or in parks, it is acceptable to disregard the flow of car or bicycle traffic and ride in whichever direction you choose. Slowly. If you find yourself traveling in the same direction as traffic and encounter an intersection with a red light or turning vehicle and are unable to stop, simply turn right. Riding around the block will eventually put you back on course and save you embarrassment and injury. In fact, did you know it's possible to get to any point on an urban street grid using only right turns? Well, it is. And it's safe and fun! Remember this acronym: AAL (Always Avoid Lefts).
Until that moment arrives, here are some things you need to know in order to get the most enjoyment out of your new toy:
A Note on the Fixed Gear Drivetrain
Your bicycle is equipped with a fixed gear drivetrain. For this reason you may want to alter your riding style accordingly. Firstly, ride slowly. Very slowly. This is the best way to avoid obstacles. When riding with friends on city streets, in bike lanes, or in parks, it is acceptable to disregard the flow of car or bicycle traffic and ride in whichever direction you choose. Slowly. If you find yourself traveling in the same direction as traffic and encounter an intersection with a red light or turning vehicle and are unable to stop, simply turn right. Riding around the block will eventually put you back on course and save you embarrassment and injury. In fact, did you know it's possible to get to any point on an urban street grid using only right turns? Well, it is. And it's safe and fun! Remember this acronym: AAL (Always Avoid Lefts).
Furthermore, your drivetrain enables you to enjoy your bicycle without having to actually ride it more than a few feet at a time. Fun things to try include: skidding, skip-stopping, trackstanding, and putting stickers and colorful parts on it.
Upgrading
It is important to begin the process of upgrading your bicycle’s appearance immediately. This can occasionally have the side-effect of improving your bicycle’s performance as well. Fortunately there are increasing numbers of track bicycle boutique shops. These shops dispense with the selection, service, and expertise of old-fashioned bike shops and instead focus on catering to your every candy-colored whim. They can also offer you sound and practical advice. Best of all, they carry lots of cool t-shirts.
Proper Usage
Though the model name or advertising copy for your bicycle may include words like “pista,” “track,” or “entry-level racing,” in no circumstances should you attempt to use your bicycle on or for any of the above. Doing so shall void your warranty.
“Proper Usage” includes: riding slowly to the bike boutique to purchase accessories and clothing; photographing your bike for submission to on-line galleries; participation in ad-hoc skidding contests; and doing track stands for hours outside of the residence of a person you would like to impress.
Handlebars
Your handlebars are wrapped in tape made of synthetic cork. Please note that the purpose of this tape is to protect your bars during shipping. This tape should be removed immediately.
You should be aware that once the tape is removed the bars may be slippery and difficult to grip. If this is the case, remove bars from stem, invert, and re-install. Then, using a hacksaw, cut in the middle of the curved portion until the excess length is removed. Your hands will now be slightly less likely to slip from the bars due to the limited hand position. This is called “flop n’ chop,” and your bicycle is now a gelding.
Brakes
Depending on make and model, your bicycle may have been shipped with a brake or a pair of brakes pre-installed. These brakes should only be used in emergencies. Once you are comfortable bringing the bicycle to a safe and complete stop without using the brakes, they should be removed and discarded.
The term “safe and complete stop” means bringing the bicycle from 5mph to 0mph in a distance of no more than 50 feet.
Safety
Whenever operating your bicycle, safety should be your primary concern. Be sure to have a qualified mechanic install a top-tube pad immediately.
Thanks very much for your purchase, and welcome to the exciting world of track cycling!
Fixedgeargallery...of poor, misguided souls.
Every picture tells a story, but on fixedgeargallery that picture is sometimes only part of the tale. There are times when the real story is in the owners' copy. But sometimes just a picture is enough. Here are two of the former, and one of the latter:
I bought the frame on craigslist from a guy in S. San Jose who (supposedly) had it built for him by Jeff Richmond, to race for Specialized. fillet brazed unknown type of steel, black sparkle paint, undrilled fork. this machine has the most responsive handling i have ever experenced, yet is extremely stable at high speeds and cornering. super predictable track skids. ridiculous power transfer with the disc. high bottom bracket + 61.5cm seat tube sits me face to face or above most drivers. i would probably kill over this bike.
i bought this off craigslist and really like it. its a 42 16. i feel like a baby for putting a brake on the front but i haven't mastered the sliding brake maneuver. i want to get a brooks seat though. (but they are sooooooo spendy) anybody know where to get them cheap?
Hey, I'm Alex from Los Angeles. I bought the new Swobo Sanchez and I just started upgrading parts . Here is an "out of the shop" photo followed by a much more recent photo.
Pic says it all here. Nice upgrades. Now your bike is half white, half green, and all ugly. You should put it back the way you found it. Somewhere under all that paint a bike is crying.
I bought the frame on craigslist from a guy in S. San Jose who (supposedly) had it built for him by Jeff Richmond, to race for Specialized. fillet brazed unknown type of steel, black sparkle paint, undrilled fork. this machine has the most responsive handling i have ever experenced, yet is extremely stable at high speeds and cornering. super predictable track skids. ridiculous power transfer with the disc. high bottom bracket + 61.5cm seat tube sits me face to face or above most drivers. i would probably kill over this bike.carbon/titanium HED alps front wheel, suicide disc rear. dura-ace 172.5 njs cranks. thank you Chris Miller for the seat: flite. thank you Bicycle Works, napa, for the bars: WCS 44cm. thank you Recyclery for the stem: black. thank you fixed gear wizard for fixedgeargallery: great.
Ah, yes. The story of the bike. The dog show continues--if people aren't dressing their bikes up in bandanas and top-tube pads and walking them up and down the sidewalk, then they're concocting lengthy pedigrees for them. And I'm sure that in this case the story behind the frame is true, because Craigslist doesn't let just anybody post an ad and say whatever they want. By the way, it's not a car. Just because it was built for a racer doesn't make it fast. There's the small matter of the rider as well. Of course, for all I know the current owner could be the fastest guy on two ugly-ass wheels. And if he spends nearly as much time riding as he does scouting picturesque settings in which to pose his bike, or making ominous decals for his rims and frame, then he probably is. And he's obviously tested this machine to its limits. It delivers "super predictable track skids." Awesome. This is certainly due at least in part to the "suicide disc" rear wheel. I may be letting my ignorance hang out and flap in the breeze here, but what the hell is a "suicide disc?" Does he mean it has a freewheel-threaded hub that won't accept a proper track lockring? Or is it some kind of boomerang frisbee that comes back to decapitate you after you throw it? Why do people need to make the act of riding a bike sound like some kind of death-defying endeavor anyway? Even on a brakeless fixed-gear you're really just riding an efficient, practical, and environmentally friendly machine around at something like 15-25mph. You're not launching a motorcycle over 75 cars before a capacity crowd in Vegas. Get over it.
i bought this off craigslist and really like it. its a 42 16. i feel like a baby for putting a brake on the front but i haven't mastered the sliding brake maneuver. i want to get a brooks seat though. (but they are sooooooo spendy) anybody know where to get them cheap?great site! i browse it often.
Peer pressure is so depressing. Why do you feel like a baby for having a brake on the front? Is it because all the cool kids are going without one? Don't worry, you'll master that "sliding brake maneuver" one day. But you know what's also cool? Stopping with both your legs and a front brake and toeing that line just before the rubber breaks loose from the pavement. That actually takes some finesse, and is the fastest way to stop. But then again it doesn't make a noise or a mark on the street, so that dreamy guy with the star tattoos, pedal-pushers and bandana around his neck like some kind of French bread vendor won't notice. Did you ever see the movie “Heathers?” I don’t mean to be hard on you, but I sense you’re a spoke’s width from ditching that brake out of vanity and conformity, and that’s not good. Please don’t be the one making fun of the fat kid because everyone else is. You seem nice. Keep the brake, you’ll like it.
Hey, I'm Alex from Los Angeles. I bought the new Swobo Sanchez and I just started upgrading parts . Here is an "out of the shop" photo followed by a much more recent photo.
Pic says it all here. Nice upgrades. Now your bike is half white, half green, and all ugly. You should put it back the way you found it. Somewhere under all that paint a bike is crying.
Friday, July 13, 2007
BSNYC ADD Time Capsule
I just excavated the time capsule I buried in the early 90s. Even though you should leave a time capsule in the ground long enough for a completely new generation to dig it up and appreciate it, I didn’t have the patience, hence the “ADD.” I pulled out some interesting stuff, including a Mavic Zap group, one of those stupid split-downtube Colnago Bititans, a Rock Shox Roubaix road suspension fork, and a whole slew of machined mountain bike components in an assortment of anodized rainbow colors.
So now it’s time to fill it back up and bury again, which I’ll do over the weekend. Here are some of the things I’m putting inside:
So now it’s time to fill it back up and bury again, which I’ll do over the weekend. Here are some of the things I’m putting inside:
A Track Wheelset With Lime-Green Velocity Deep-V Rims
We should all have a good laugh when we pull these things out 10 years from now. “God, remember when people actually used to ride these things?” At least we’ll be able to unlace the wheels and re-use the hubs. Unless the whole thing boomerangs on us and they’ve gone retro-chic by then. I guess we won’t be laughing in that case.A Picture of a Guy With a Beard
A lot of the guys who ride lime-green Velocitys also have beards. This picture will allow us to fondly recall a time when people wanted to look like the evil Russian guy in “American Flyers.”
A Set of Dura-Ace Triple Road Cranks
The compact revolution has allowed thousands of road cyclists to dispense with their ungainly triple cranksets. Sure, on the road you still need the wide range of the triple for applications like touring, but the days of the race-level triple are surely numbered. So it should be fun to see this thing in 10 years. We can reminisce about a time when heavyset riders made rationalizations like, “Well, Roberto Heras used one on the Angliru.”Roberto Heras
Remember that guy?
A Whole Bunch of 10-Speed Road Cassettes
This is more of an investment than anything else. I figure I can sell these for a whole lot of money to the retrogrouches who refuse to upgrade to 14-speed.
A Whole Bunch of Chris King Headsets
Another financial investment. Regardless of whether they're worth the price, nothing inside our outside of cycling holds its value like these things. This is not an endorsement, it's just a fact. You can’t even get a used one cheap on eBay. I’ve tracked the retail price of these things over the years against the price of gold and the indices of all the world's stock markets and believe me when I say they offer a better return than any of them. As long as Mr. King successfully continues his anti-integrated headset scare tactics I’m putting all my money in his headsets.
A Mountain Bike With 26-Inch Wheels and Rim Brakes
It may be that when we wheel this thing out we’ll all ride around on our disc brake equipped 29ers or 650Bers or whatever other size they come up with, laughing at this primitive machine with its diminutive wheels. Or there may have been a nuclear apocalypse, in which case hopefully I’ll be alive to ride it over miles and miles of scorched earth, having a great time regardless of wheel size.
A Pair of Tubeless Road Wheels
A Pair of Tubeless Road Wheels
“What’s that, Grandpa?”
“Why, it’s a set of tubeless road wheels.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, it means you don’t need to use an inner tube.”
“Oh. Well, why did they think that was a good idea on a road bike?”
“I don’t know, Grandson. I don’t know.”
“Why, it’s a set of tubeless road wheels.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, it means you don’t need to use an inner tube.”
“Oh. Well, why did they think that was a good idea on a road bike?”
“I don’t know, Grandson. I don’t know.”
Thursday, July 12, 2007
It's All in the Details: Lessons from the "Real World"
The twin evils of marketing and fads mean that more cyclists than ever are falling victim to extremely poor bicycle, component, and clothing choice. And to be fair, when a technology is marketed very aggressively, or a trend becomes pervasive, it’s hard to separate what actually works from what the marketing department and the fashion victims are telling you works.
Sometimes the simplest way to cut to the heart of the matter is to draw analogies between what you’re doing to your bike and the world outside of cycling. Doing so can sometimes help alert you to a potential mistake. Here are just a few examples of bad cycling choices and their non-cycling counterparts:
Mistake: Carbon-Wrapped Components
The cycling world is in the throes of carbon madness. Carbon is a wonderful material, and it certainly has its place, but wrapping an aluminum part in carbon is like making a pair of jeans out of fur. It’s pointless, it’s more expensive, it provides no performance benefit, and it comes with a weight penalty.
Sometimes the simplest way to cut to the heart of the matter is to draw analogies between what you’re doing to your bike and the world outside of cycling. Doing so can sometimes help alert you to a potential mistake. Here are just a few examples of bad cycling choices and their non-cycling counterparts:
Mistake: Carbon-Wrapped Components
The cycling world is in the throes of carbon madness. Carbon is a wonderful material, and it certainly has its place, but wrapping an aluminum part in carbon is like making a pair of jeans out of fur. It’s pointless, it’s more expensive, it provides no performance benefit, and it comes with a weight penalty.Non-Cycling Counterpart: Gold-Plated Jewelry
Mistake: Putting Too Much Useless Crap On Your Bike
People are using a lot of accessories on their bicycles these days, particularly in the fixed-gear scene. Despite the fact that fixed-gear bikes are ostensibly simple machines, people sure keep finding new ways to tart them up. And while some of these accessories have some sort of basis in performance enhancement, most of them have just become excuses to prolong the superficial joy of buying a bike by putting more things on the bike. Which is fine—until it goes too far, and you're just spraypainting, Aerospoking, stickering, spoke-carding, and top-tube padding your way to a ridiculous ride.
Non-Cycling Counterpart: “The Hoopty”
Mistake: Inappropriate Attire
Style is of course a personal choice. While there are certain customary ways of dressing for various types of cycling, if deviating from that makes you feel more comfortable with yourself, then by all means do so. But just make sure you’re not completely disregarding function and practicality for vanity. Some clothing choices just don’t work. Lycra and chamois exist for a reason.
Non-Cycling Counterpart: Riding a 150hp crotch rocket in your underpants.
Mistake: Losing Sight of What a Bicycle Actually Is
All right, I’m going to come right out and say that bicycles should be upright. Road bikes, downhill bikes, track bikes, BMX bikes, pizza delivery bikes, and even those completely stupid tall bikes all fall under the “bicycle” auspices. If you are a cyclist, you should be able to get comfortable on one of these machines. And you should at least make a very concerted effort to do so before resorting to a recumbent. (Please understand that this in no way applies to the physically challenged or those who, due to an extenuating physical circumstance of some kind, must use alternative machines.)
Non-Cycling Counterpart: Trikes (Uh, you’re one more wheel and a few more cubic feet of trunk space from having a convertible. Perhaps motorcycling is not for you.)
Mistake: Buying the Most Expensive Bike You Possibly Can and Hitting the Sunday Group Ride
Yes, most of the big bike companies make some kind of exotic, limited edition bicycle every now and then. And yes, it’s really expensive, and if you get it you’ll probably have a more expensive bike than anyone else you come across. But here’s the thing. They’re PR stunts. You’re not supposed to actually buy those.
Non-Cycling Counterpart: Being These Guys at the Party
Cycling Cinema Multiplex: The Sublime and The Ridiculous
Sometimes watching cycling gives me the proverbial chills up the spine. Other times I feel like I'm watching a greased manatee trying to climb a flight of steps.I realize that what is poetry in motion for some people is idiocy in motion for others. And I understand that this differs from person to person. So instead of saying "this is beautiful and that is stupid," I'll simply say there are some things I get, and some things I just don't. Here are some examples, thanks to the dubious miracle of youtube:
Something I Get:
The drama and excitement of crashes in the heat of road-racing competition.
Something I Don't:
Crashing intentionally at a big, smelly block party.
Something I Get:
The fluidity, power, and speed of a well-drilled team pursuit.
Something I Don't:
The fatuous pointlessness of fixed-gear skidding.
Something I Get:
The fluid transitions, grace, and intensity of cyclocross.
Something I Don't:
The leisurely, awkward transitions of triathlons.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #9 and #10
Two Craiglist standbys: the stolen bike plea, and the clueless idiot who berates his readers...
****STOLEN***STOLEN***STOLEN***REWARD**REWARD**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - $500 (original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/371380204.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-07-11, 11:26AM EDT
see picture. if you bought it, then i suspect you didn't pay more than $100 so you're making alot on the deal, if you stole it then you're definately making out... no questions asked, i just want the bike back.
OK, my heart goes out to anybody who's bike gets stolen. But come the hell on. Firstly, does this person really think anybody would pay anything for this? Secondly, does this person actually have $500 to spend, and instead of buying a new bike want to use it as a reward for this rolling case of tetanus?
I'm inclined to dismiss this as a joke, but the owner has been desperately and repeatedly posting for the last two days. I'm also inclined to think this bike wasn't even stolen. I suspect whoever took it just figured it was abandoned and thought, "What the hell, I'll save myself a little time getting to the bodega." He probably thought it was one of those communal bikes like they have in Amsterdam or something.
If you have a similar piece of garbage in a garage, vacant lot, or dumpster near you, I suggest contacting this person and making the easiest $500 ever. And if you're the owner, let it go, man. Let it go.
WANTED--Bullhorn 'Drop' Handlebars [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/371461858.html]
Reply to: [Deleted]
2007-07-11, 12:53PM EDT
Read twice, drop means drop, not straight, bent downwards at an angle. If you have a set you didnt like, send me a pic and a price. No crap please.
Okay, I've read twice, three, even four times now, and I still don't know what the hell you want. You speak in contradictions. Are you a Zen master, or a complete moron? Alas, I have no "bullhorn drops," but I do have a geared fixie, some clipless pedals with toeclips and straps, and an 8-speed Ultegra 10-speed cassette if you're interested.
****STOLEN***STOLEN***STOLEN***REWARD**REWARD**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - $500 (original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/371380204.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-07-11, 11:26AM EDT
see picture. if you bought it, then i suspect you didn't pay more than $100 so you're making alot on the deal, if you stole it then you're definately making out... no questions asked, i just want the bike back.
OK, my heart goes out to anybody who's bike gets stolen. But come the hell on. Firstly, does this person really think anybody would pay anything for this? Secondly, does this person actually have $500 to spend, and instead of buying a new bike want to use it as a reward for this rolling case of tetanus?
I'm inclined to dismiss this as a joke, but the owner has been desperately and repeatedly posting for the last two days. I'm also inclined to think this bike wasn't even stolen. I suspect whoever took it just figured it was abandoned and thought, "What the hell, I'll save myself a little time getting to the bodega." He probably thought it was one of those communal bikes like they have in Amsterdam or something.
If you have a similar piece of garbage in a garage, vacant lot, or dumpster near you, I suggest contacting this person and making the easiest $500 ever. And if you're the owner, let it go, man. Let it go.
WANTED--Bullhorn 'Drop' Handlebars [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/371461858.html]
Reply to: [Deleted]
2007-07-11, 12:53PM EDT
Read twice, drop means drop, not straight, bent downwards at an angle. If you have a set you didnt like, send me a pic and a price. No crap please.
Okay, I've read twice, three, even four times now, and I still don't know what the hell you want. You speak in contradictions. Are you a Zen master, or a complete moron? Alas, I have no "bullhorn drops," but I do have a geared fixie, some clipless pedals with toeclips and straps, and an 8-speed Ultegra 10-speed cassette if you're interested.
Five Grounds for Immediate Equipment Reappropriation
Unlike drugs, motor vehicles, and firearms (well, in some states) anybody anywhere can walk into any bike shop and buy whatever they want—provided they’ve got the money. And while I’m all for shops making a profit, I just don’t think that’s right. Yes, I’ll come right out and say it—not everybody deserves to have whatever they want. I think there should be a strict set of criteria that a customer should meet before he or she is allowed to buy something. (Which is why no investors ever seem interested in my business plan for "Fascist Cycles.")I also don’t think that this equipment regulation should stop at the retail level. I think it should also be enforced out in the world, well after the bikes and components have left the store. I envision a network of officers and informants who would report violations of these rules, upon which bicycles would be confiscated. Here are just a few circumstances in which you should be forced to forfeit your bike or components:
You Don't Glue Your Own Tubulars
The mind-numbingly boring tubular-versus-clincher debate continues to rage, as it undoubtedly will for all eternity. And as far as which one you prefer, I couldn’t care less. What I cannot stand, however, are riders who use tubulars but cannot glue them by themselves. Instead, they have a shop do it. (This may not be common everywhere, but it sure is here in NYC, where everyone seems to have more money than time.) And while I suppose I’d rather ride behind a guy whose tires were glued by a shop than by some idiot who stuck them on with some Elmer’s glue and a popsicle stick, I still think that if you don’t install your own tires you should have your wheels taken from you. Tubular gluing is an old, ritualistic cycling practice, and riding the tires without putting them on yourself is like sending someone else to your local house of worship to do your praying for you.
You Don't Tape Your Own Bars
Yes, it’s true, a lot of riders can’t and don’t tape their own bars. This is like being 40 and swinging by your parents’ house on the way to work to have them knot your tie for you. If you’ve owned a drop-bar bike for more than six months, either learn how to wrap ‘em or fork that sucker over.
You're Wealthy and You Don't Transport Your Bike Properly
I’m not a communist and I’m not Amish. Some people have money and they want nice cars. Fine. And sometimes you need to transport your bike someplace, like a race or a far-off group ride. Okay. But what I cannot stand is when I see a brand-new Mercedes or BMW pull up at the start, and the driver proceeds to wrestle his $7,000 Colnago out from the back seat. I mean come on! You’ve got the money, get a goddamn rack! The only explanation I can possibly come up with for this behavior is that there’s a spouse at home who does not want the statusmobile marred by unsightly load bars and fairings. Well, you know what? If you’ve reached a point in your life where you’re successful enough to afford all this stuff, yet you can’t put your foot down and give cycling the pride-of-place in your life that it deserves, then hand over that shiny piece of Euro-plastic. Or at least get one of those stupid removable trunk racks. Is a leather seat riddled with chainring holes somehow preferable to a Thule?
And don’t tell me you keep the bike in the car to save gas. If you cared you’d have bought a Civic.
You Don't Meet the "Dollar-a-Mile" Qualification
We’ve all seen the “too much bike” phenomenon in action. You know, the guy who buys the absurdly expensive team replica bike and rides it around the park a few times a summer in sneakers. Sorry, this is not acceptable. I think a very fair and accommodating rule is that you must meet the “Dollar-a-Mile” qualification in order to keep possession of your bike. Example: let’s say you paid $5,000 for your bike. You should then be able to prove that you ride at least 5,000 miles a year—which isn’t all that much given the fact that $5,000 buys a pretty serious bike. 5,000 miles a year is less than 100 miles a week. I think that gives plenty of latitude. And you can buy as many other bikes as you want, without additional mileage requirements. The only requirement is that you must ride annually at least the number of miles appropriate for your most expensive bicycle. Simple! And if you don’t? Repo time.
You Are a Serial Upgrader
Everybody wants nice stuff. Fine. But if you are not a professional bike racer and you own components made by companies such as AX Lightness, Lightweight, or Schmolke, or if you train on carbon wheels, or if your credit card starts vibrating when you hear words like “integrated,” “proprietary,” or “stiff yet compliant,” you have a problem. If this is you, your bicycle should be taken from you for no less than six months. At the end of that time you will then be permitted to buy a bicycle at a retail price of no more than $1,000, which you must then ride for no less than one full year without changing any components whatsoever. At the end of that year we’ll see where you are, and we’ll take it from there.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Urban Anthropology: One Less Brake
Something to ponder on your commute: what conclusion might one draw upon encountering these skidmarks on the Brooklyn Bridge bike path, just where it curves around the tower and riders begin their descents towards Manhattan? And why do there seem to be more of these skidmarks than ever before?
Well, if you're an anthropologist, these markings speak volumes. They indicate a trend among a certain group of cyclists to foreswear brakes and to slow their bicycles by skidding. There are also similar skidmark ganglions elsewhere on the bridge, generally before grade changes, bumps, or anywhere the path narrows a bit. This indicates that, when presented with an obstacle, these riders must lock up their rear wheels in order to adjust their speed.
One might wonder why a rider would opt to do this instead of installing a simple brake, especially when their cycling environment includes a bridge with a wooden surface which, at most times, is choked with camera-weilding tourists who stray into the bike lane like confused houseguests wander into closets while looking for the bathroom.
Well, I'm still trying to figure that last part out. I'm also wondering if the woman I got stuck behind the other day, straining to keep her shiny new brakeless IRO under control as she descended slowly and awkwardly towards Manhattan, decided at some point during her miserable-looking trip to spring another $20 for a front caliper. Perhaps she came to her senses. Or perhaps she didn't. Perhaps she enjoys looking like she's reeling in a marlin from the East River.
Well, if you're an anthropologist, these markings speak volumes. They indicate a trend among a certain group of cyclists to foreswear brakes and to slow their bicycles by skidding. There are also similar skidmark ganglions elsewhere on the bridge, generally before grade changes, bumps, or anywhere the path narrows a bit. This indicates that, when presented with an obstacle, these riders must lock up their rear wheels in order to adjust their speed.
One might wonder why a rider would opt to do this instead of installing a simple brake, especially when their cycling environment includes a bridge with a wooden surface which, at most times, is choked with camera-weilding tourists who stray into the bike lane like confused houseguests wander into closets while looking for the bathroom.
Well, I'm still trying to figure that last part out. I'm also wondering if the woman I got stuck behind the other day, straining to keep her shiny new brakeless IRO under control as she descended slowly and awkwardly towards Manhattan, decided at some point during her miserable-looking trip to spring another $20 for a front caliper. Perhaps she came to her senses. Or perhaps she didn't. Perhaps she enjoys looking like she's reeling in a marlin from the East River.
Fixedgeargallery...Keirin Katastrophe
Ah, yes. There's nothing like the attention to detail a proud owner of a new Keirin frame pays to his or her build. Each part is painstakingly hand-picked, and proudly bears that all-important NJS stamp.This bike is a perfect example. The owner has gone with "as much NJS as possible," making only a few concessions, such as the de rigeur Brooks saddle and the untaped flop-and-chop bars. (Apparently this particular owner insists on posterior comfort but isn't particularly concerned about being able to grip the bars. I mean, to me bars without grips or tape is like having a bathroom with no toilet paper in it. But what do I know? I'm not a Keirin racer like this guy.)
The attention to detail continues with the yellow highlights meant to bring out the frame decals. There is even the whimsical touch of the Livestrong bracelets around the hubs. Isn't that cute?!? Perhaps the owner has some yellow streamers on order too.
Given all this attention to detail, you certainly wouldn't want to spoil the effect by putting on an unsightly brake. (The track-specific fork certainly wouldn't accommodate one anyway, right?) But that's OK. I mean, you can stop as quickly as you need to with your legs. And chains never break, nor do hub threads ever strip.
But you know what does happen? Sometimes you get so carried away hand-picking NJS vanity components that you forget to install all the chainring bolts!
Should be fun in a panic stop. That's when "NJS" stands for "Nice job. Sayonara."
Another well thought-out build. Keep looking--you'll find a fifth NJS chainring bolt somewhere.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Worst of NYC Craigslist SPECIAL EDITION: Bike Love
It is readily apparent that, now more than ever, people are accessorizing with their bicycles. You can only put so many tattoos and trendy articles of clothing on yourself, so naturally you've got to turn to your bike when you run out of room. Colored Deep-Vs, top-tube pads, stickers, and shiny new paint jobs are just some of the ways that people use their bicycles to play dress-up. The transportation part, while convenient, seems be pretty far down the list of reasons for owning a bicycle.
But what's the point of all this then if it isn't cycling? Well, it's to meet boys and girls of course! In our nation's trendier neighborhoods, bicycles are like dogs: their owners dress them up, they parade them up and down the street, and they use them as an excuse to talk to people. Oh, and like dog owners, they don't ride them. There's no better place online to see this in action than the Craigslist "Missed Connections" section. Here are a few recent examples:
Williamsburg Bridge Riding! - m4w - 30
Reply to: [deleted]Date: 2007-07-03, 9:33PM EDT
Saw you riding this morning. You smiled at me. Riding a black Fixed. A VERY Long shot.
This sounds like the beginning of something truly meaningful. If she's half as lazy as you are I think you guys may have something. Who was riding the black "Fixed?" You? Her? Or maybe you're more crafty than I give you credit for. With 2,000-3,000 black fixed gear bicycles crossing the Williamsburg Bridge every day, chances are either some woman riding one saw a guy she liked, or saw a guy she liked riding one, or was riding one and saw a guy she liked who was also riding one. Perhaps she'll also be charmed by the fact that you are not preoccupied with superficial things like looks, since you didn't bother to mention a single distinguishing feature on yourself or on her. Are you a genius or an idiot? It's so hard to tell these days.
hunky bike rider in greenpoint - w4m - 27
Reply to: [deleted] Date: 2007-07-03, 4:01PM EDT
you rode by me with your hat on and on a pretty orange bike with white wheels. your arm muscles were so nice. i want you to hold me. i see you all the time. next time i will yell, but what name should i yell?
This bike is clearly a fixedgeargallery post come to life. If this poor, smitten girl wants to get this guy's attention, she shouldn't worry about his name. She should just yell, "NJS track cranks for sale, $30!" He'll jump on her faster than Ryan Trebon jumps back on his bike after clearing a set of barriers. I don't think this relationship will work, though. If she can't even name any of his components in her post he's going to quickly lose interest in her when she doesn't get excited about his latest NJS eBay purchase or want to hang around at King Kog not riding all weekend.
brooklyn bridge for boredoms sat.. - m4w - 28
Reply to: [deleted]: 2007-07-09, 1:38AM EDT
You had a purple road bike i think, and wore boots with a purple houndstooth type dress and blonde hair. I was the uk boy with the black shirt/purple hat, that told you your bike light was on. U smiled. You looked over before u got on ur bike at the end, but I was too shy to do anything, without seeming cheesy. Wish I had though, it would be nice to meet again.
Apart from the poster's obvious ineptitude as a potential suitor, as a cyclist my biggest questions is: who rides a road bike in boots and a dress?
You ran over my cat with your fixed gear track bike - m4w - 24
Reply to: [deleted] Date: 2007-07-09, 10:30AM EDT
Everything about this post screams that it's a fake, but I prefer to pretend that it isn't. I also hope Judd Apatow reads Craigslist. This should be his next movie.
Prospect Park bike repairer missed chatting to Asian beauty in bikini - m4w - 31
Reply to: [deleted]: 2007-07-09, 11:21AM EDT
I was at the North end of Prospect Park on Sat July 7th adjusting the brakes on my mountain bike, when you strolled up like a vision and set your blanket down a few feet away. Laying there in your bikini, white earbuds glistening in the sun, I was struck dumb. By the time I worked up the courage to offer you a Pringle, you had vanished like a dream. Make 7/7/07 my lucky day, and drop me a note if you read this. -Repair Guy
No doubt she was laying there fantasizing about you coming over to her house and adjusting the brakes on her bike as well. Nothing turns a woman on like a guy who can handle a set of linear-pulls. Was the can of Pringles in one of your water bottle cages?
Stocky dude with reddish hair - w4m - 30
Reply to: [deleted]: 2007-07-03, 1:33PM EDT
I've seen you on 7th ave twice now. Will you help me buy a bike? I am not crazy.
If anybody knows this guy, please warn him.
The Indigity of Commuting by Bicycle: Giant Holes of Death
The cycling community is like a giant family. And just like my own family, I find many of its members irritatingly quirky and interact with them only out of necessity.
However, family is family, and no matter how annoying your family may be you should always take its side. It's us against the world. Even the rider who discovered fixed-gear bikes yesterday and bought a brakeless Pista today deserves to be able to ride down the street without falling through a hole into a subway tunnel.
The following is a letter I am sending the Commissioner of the City Department of Motor Vehicles regarding one such hole. This hole is in no way unique, but it has come to symbolize every inconvenience and life-threatening obstacle I am forced to confront on a daily basis.
(The faint lines just past the crosswalk are what passes for the "bike lane." The hole comes in two flavors: without cone...)
Janette Sadik-Khan
Commissioner
City Department of Transportation
Dear Ms. Sadik-Khan,
I am a cyclist who was born in New York and who, due to various misfortunes and cruel twists of fate, continues to live here. The reason I'm writing is to tell you about the giant, gaping, incredibly dangerous hole right in the middle of the goddamn bike lane at the intersection of Dean and Nevins Streets in Brookly, which has been there for months. (Photos attached.)
Why is this thing still here? I know the city's aware of it, because awhile back some city-employed genius spray-painted a red line around its perimeter. I'm not sure what this was meant to accomplish. I can only assume the DOT is implementing some kind of "Pothole Beautification" project. And while I admit the hole is much more attractive now that it sports day-glo eyeliner, it remains as dangerous as ever.
Look, I realize that bike lanes are meaningless. They're just convenient places for unlicensed drivers in customized Honda Civics to idle and roll blunts while they wait for their friends to come downstairs, or for giant UPS trucks festooned with orange parking tickets to sit while they make deliveries, or for Fresh Direct trucks to belch exhaust fumes while they disgorge organic groceries into million-dollar brownstones for lazy Park Slopers who can't be bothered to drive their Priuses to Fairway.
Yet despite all this, I like to ride in them. Call it a naive fantasy, but I actually like to imagine as a cyclist that there's a tiny sliver of road somewhere that belongs to me. And it's tough to maintain this fantasy when I suddenly come upon a hole large enough to swallow a 10-month old baby.
I'm also reporting this hole via email through the DOT website. I would have done so sooner, but I mistakenly took the eyeliner and the orange construction cones that are sometimes (but usually not) stuck in it as signs that repairs were imminent. And while I'm sure filling out a form on the internet will result in blindingly swift action, I wanted to take the time to write you personally as well.
Please also know that in the meantime, as long as the city and the drivers who use her streets continue to toy with my life, I intend to continue making and adhering to my own rules. I shall continue to treat traffic signals as optional; I shall continue to follow and verbally harass drivers who irritate me; and I shall use no hand signals except the one that needs to be blurred out on TV. And please be assured I will do all of this only out of necessity, as it is the only way to remain intact as a cyclist in this town.
I look forward to the filling of this and all giant holes, and I would appreciate being the Guest of Honor at the ribbon-cutting ceremony.
Sincerely,
BikeSnobNYC
(...or with cone. Note crappy old Honda Accord and FedEx truck, both in the bike lane.)
Friday, July 6, 2007
Six Signs You May Be Missing the Entire Point of Cycling
There is a certain type of judgmental, arrogant, and annoying person who somehow feels like he or she is in tune to the ineffable, intangible truths of cycling, and consequently acts like he or she has a profound understanding of riding that the rest of the world does not.I am one of these people.
And as the weekend approaches and the throngs of both the wise and the clueless set out to choke our nation’s roads, trails and bike paths, they will be silently judging each-other as they pass. And I think that’s just fine, as long as they're enjoying themselves. But not everybody seems to be, and these are some common examples:
You've Just Gotten Your First Fixed Gear and You're "Never Going Back To Gears"
I see this one all the time, mostly in the introductory notes to fixedgeargallery submissions. Hey, despite my denigration I will readily acknowledge the pleasure of riding a fixed gear bicycle. But pledging to ride fixed and fixed only is the kind of overzealous commitment a teenager makes to a genre of music or a style of shoe. I’m not sure when riding anything besides a fixed gear bicycle became the equivalent of Mommy and Daddy making you eat your greens—maybe it’s when people found out the President rides a mountain bike. Perhaps coasting represents letting go of your adolescent convictions and succumbing to the system. Whatever, get over it. You can put dayglo Velocitys on a road bike too.
You're a Dyed-in-the-Wool Roadie Who Eschews the Dirt
Lots of roadies, at least around these parts, have an innate, almost preternatural aversion to riding on anything that isn't pavement. Just riding over sand, gravel, or a bit of road salt is enough to send them sprawling. Many of them will spend thousands of dollars on a TT bike that they may use twice a season, but won't buy an inexpensive mountain bike and try a type of riding that is: 1) fun; 2) great for training; 3) immensely more enjoyable than road riding in the icy winds of winter; and 4) teaches important bike handling skills. Yes, bike handling skills—some of these people find riding off a curb daunting. I realize that many of them have spent a lot of money on precious and colorful kits in order to look like pros, and that they don’t want them to get dirty. But I get the unsettling feeling from this type of cyclist that there is a significant other at home who is very frustrated sexually.
You Make Fun of Lycra
Lots of baggy-shorted mountain bikers of the free-riding variety, as well as urban fixed-gear riders, make jokes about lycra-clad "spandex warriors." And as I've said before, I have not and will not ever try to convince anybody that lycra kits look good. However, making fun of lycra is like making fun of your friend in the life vest on the Titanic. If you've actually ridden more than a couple hours at a time you will understand that there's nothing particularly pleasurable about wet cotton, or snagging your voluminous nylon bermuda shorts on tree branches, or crotch fungus. These lycra-bashers are the same people who would visit Chernobyl and go, "Hey! Look at the idiot in the radiation suit!"
Your Primary Bicycle is a TT or Tri Bike
The tri thing is literally exploding here in NYC. If you're not on a fixed-gear with lime-green Velocitys, you're on a Cervelo with a bento box and two water bottles behind your saddle. (I encourage all riders upon approaching these people to grab one of these bottles, take a swig, and replace it as you pass.) Like the fixie riders, the tri riders also have a slavish devotion to their poorly-handling, awkward bicycles and use them in circumstances for which they are not appropriate. I personally do not see the point of struggling up a climb on aerobars while trying to reach behind yourself to take a drink. Maybe instead of the Zipp 808s you should have used some money to buy an inexpensive road bike. You might actually have some fun--and take out a few less people the next time you try to get in a paceline.
You Are Obsessed With Numbers
I realize and acknowledge that there are much stronger riders than me. In fact, “DNF” has appeared after my name so often on results sheets that people think I have an advanced degree. I also acknowledge that people with actual race results warrant more serious training and attention to detail, and that Power Taps, SRMs, and whatever else people are using these days are useful tools for maximizing this training. But when these numbers are literally running your life and you’re doing things like posting them on the internet or holding back on a ride with friends because you can’t go past a certain threshold that day, it may be time to loosen up a little. If you're not a full-time pro making a living from riding your bike, take a break from geeking out once in a while and take a normal ride. Like the dirt-averse riders, your significant other is probably having an affair.
You Are Intimidated By Your Bike
Yes, it’s pathetic but true—a lot of people are afraid of their bikes. They’re afraid to try simple repairs themselves. They’re afraid to scratch them. They’re afraid to get them wet. They put them on a pedestal, take pictures of them, and submit them to websites. Being scared of your bike is as almost as pathetic as when it came out that Lionel Ritchie was being beaten by his wife. If you’re one of these people, do yourself a favor—get it over with and ghost-ride your bike down a flight of steps. Then pick it up, straighten the handlebars and the seat, make quick peace with the scratches and scuffs, and ride the goddamn thing!
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Fixedgeargallery...of tortured whispers.
If there were a Fixie Whisperer, here's what these bikes would tell him:
"My owner used all the bar tape wrapping my top tube and doesn't know where to buy more."
"There is nothing 
" "My owner and I both get beat up a lot."
"Every time my owner gets a new star tattoo, I get another sticker! Yay!"
"Hello? Hello?!? If you can hear me, please, PLEASE steal me and put my gears back on! This guy is completely insane. My address is 313--oh, uh, hi there Buck. No, I wasn't talking to anybody. Say, why don't you clip on that helmet mirror and let's you and me go for a ride!"
It's All in the Details: Plush Toys
Like it or not, cycling sometimes involves discomfort. More and more people seem to be coming to the sport with the misapprehension that cycling should be a completely pain-free activity. But whether you’re racing, touring, or commuting, it just isn’t. It is difficult physically, it exposes the rider to the elements, and the fundamental design of the machine can only offer so much in the way of comfort.There’s a pill or a product to soften the sharp edges of just about every aspect of life, so naturally people assume that it is their birthright to be pain-free. The cycling industry has been more than happy to validate this assumption and offers an array of products and services for the rider who wants to buy his way to bliss.
But I’m here to tell you that cycling hurts. Sure, you can and should mitigate the discomfort, but riding a bicycle just isn’t driving a Cadillac. Here are some areas where I think we’re just going too far:
Professional Bike Fitting
Proper fit is the most important consideration when buying a bicycle. It’s more important that frame material, component choice, brand, color, or warranty. And given the low margins on bicycles for bike shops, it benefits both the rider and the shop to offer bike fitting services.But come on, you don’t always have to take the day off work and spend it riding a fit cycle while a shop employee aims a laser pointer at you. Not everybody needs to play Johan and Levi in the wind tunnel. A decent shop will get you well in the ballpark in fairly short order, and you’ll learn a lot more spending a leisurely Saturday morning riding around the local loop with an allen key, having an open and earnest dialogue with your soft-and-delicates.
Custom Frames
Cyclists love to convince themselves that they need things. When titanium bikes came out people rationalized buying them by saying, “Titanium lasts forever. This is the last bike I’ll ever buy.” Oh, yeah, right. How many roadies are still out there pushing their old Litespeeds? Some of those things had one-inch headtubes, for chrissakes! You can’t be competitive on anything less than 1 1/8th!There’s a similar rationale for ordering a custom frame. In addition to “It’s the last bike I’ll ever buy,” there’s also “It fits me perfectly—nothing beats a custom frame,” and “I need custom geometry to be completely comfortable.”
Hey, who doesn’t want a custom frame? But at least be honest. Unless you have the physique of something that should be behind glass at the Museum of Natural History, you can probably obtain a perfect fit pretty easily with a stock bike. So when you roll up on that new Seven, at least be honest and say, “I want to look and feel special and be envied by my fellow riders.” Not, “Yeah, I just couldn’t get comfortable without a 56.67892 centimeter top tube.”
Saddles
If you’ve ever spent any time in a bike shop, you’ve probably seen a lot of people come in and complain about saddle discomfort—especially after all that publicity about cycling and impotence a few years back, which convinced the public that so much as looking at a bicycle saddle was tantamount to castration.
Yes, you should not be experiencing severe pain or numbness. But instead of running right out and buying a $200 saddle with all kinds of exotic materials, cutouts, nylon bushings, and vents to cool your crotch (my personal favorite)--or, even worse, going the other direction and bolting a toilet seat to your post--take the time to experiment with saddle position.
And more importantly, understand that a saddle is not a desk chair. Your hands and feet should also be supporting some of your weight. And—I cannot stress this enough—move occasionally! Stand up once in awhile! It’s a bike, not a car! You don’t just plop your ass down on it and sit there in perfect comfort. If it helps, don’t think of it as a saddle—think of it as more of a butt rest. Kind of like a lectern—something to lean on, but not meant for reclining.
And yes, believe it or not, back when there were only a few models of saddles to choose from cyclists were actually able to procreate. Somehow the pros still manage to have children, and I’ve never seen one using one of those horrendous porta-potty things.
Suspension
Suspension on mountain bikes has come a long way, and there is definitely certain terrain where a good front (and even rear) suspension will give you better performance.But—and this is hard for a lot of people to believe—it is still actually possible to ride a rigid bicycle on an unpaved surface. In fact, there are a lot of places where it’s actually preferable. If you’ve ever watched somebody on silky-smooth, flowing singletrack bobbing up and down on a long-travel bicycle like a kid on one of those horse-on-a-spring things they have in front of the supermarket, you know what I mean. I’m talking about the type of rider that spins up a tiny incline in the granny gear and then falls over onto his camelbak like an overworked mule.
I’m not saying suspension doesn’t have its place. I’m just saying think about where you’re going to be doing most of your riding. If the biggest drop you’re going to encounter on your ride is the one from the running board of your SUV, you may not need the long-travel double-boinger.
Suspension on Road Bikes
Never. Never, never, never. Have we learned nothing?Vibration-Damping Gew-Gaws and Doo-Dads
I mentioned the $20 Bontrager bar plugs in a previous post. A similar product is Specialized’s Zertz. Do they work? I don’t know, maybe they do. Or maybe it’s the fact that the bike has a longer wheelbase and more relaxed geometry.
Before you get taken in by miracle polymers, consider that some bikes actually have comfort inherent in their design. Learn a little bit about geometry. Also learn about tires. Lowing your pressure or going up in width is often all you need.
If those don’t work, though, I can think of a place to stick those Bontrager plugs that will really smooth out that ride. Hint—it’s the same place they pulled the design out from in the first place.
Freakish Kludges
Not only do people think they should be able to buy a pain-free ride—they also think they should be able to ride a bike completely ill-suited to their physique or riding style because they like the way it looks.
Take the middle-aged guy I saw in the park the other day riding a Fuji Track Pro in sneakers with one of those heads-up stem adapter things. Uh, perhaps the aluminum purpose-built race bike with the really low head-tube is not for you. Yes, road and track bikes are cool, but they’re not for everyone. Three words: http://www.rivbike.com/. The same goes for every guy riding a Madone with a vertical stem and about 500 spacers under it.
I mean, if I want a family car, I can’t buy a Porsche, right? Oh, yeah, I guess I can. Oh, well, I guess nobody should ever have to compromise.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #7 and #8
There is a fixed-gear conversion chop-shop of sorts somewhere in the trendy part of Brooklyn that has been posting regularly on Craigslist for at least a year or two now. The following two ads are typical of their postings. It's kind of a meth lab for bicycles in that it operates from someone's apartment and its product is extremely dangerous. The first post is to hook the new users, and the second targets the addict--watch how he changes his tone and approach from one to the other. Both posts are insidious and infuriating. Consider the implications on your Independence Day ride tomorrow:Once You Ride Track You Never Go Back! Fixed Gears and Single Speeds - $100
[original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/363527325.html]
Reply to: see below
Date: 2007-06-30, 2:18AM EDT
What does this mean? I'm scared! Does this mean I will ride around and around a velodrome until I die? I mean, I love to ride, but that literally sounds like hell.
Once You Ride Track You Never Go Back! Fixed Gears and Single Speeds If you want to ride track, or just want learn more about it, we can help you find the right bike. CALL [deleted] after 5pm and call back if i dont answer!
Oh, I see. Riding "track" means riding a fixed gear bicycle. Got it. I have a friend with one of those. Sounds pretty cool. I think I'll read further.
We have several fixed gear and track bikes ready to go- 2 peugeots, 2 Fujis, a Schwinn, a Bianchi, a Univega, and a Panasonic. We can answer any questions you have, and we have a good selection of fixed gear and single speed bikes starting at $100. Every bike we sell comes with a six month warantee, and we are always happy to explain how to care for and maintain your fixie. Both converted rear hubs and track wheels are available for any bike, as well as flip flop wheels, with freehweel on one side and fixed on the other, for those who like variety. See below for more wheel info.
Why do I feel like I'm about to buy a black market parrot or something?
Every bike we sell will have: -a straight chainline -a secure cog and lockring -a rear wheel centered in dropouts -a front brake for added safety -new cables and housing -new bearings in the headset and bottom bracket
Sounds OK so far. I love added safety! Mom and Dad will definitely wire me the money to buy a safe bike like this.
For those who are wondering, here is a rundown of our procedure for converting rear wheels: A fixed gear is distinguished by direct drive; the pedals and the rear wheel are connected directly by the drivechain, so the if you pedal backward you go back, and if you stop pedalling you stop, unlike with a freewheel bike. On both converted road wheels and track wheels, the cog and lockring screw onto threading on the hub, but only a track wheel has reverse threading for the lockring. This way, when you pedal forward, you tighten the cog, and when you pedal back, you tighten the lockring. On a conversion, the cog and lockring both thread on the same way, so that whan you pedal backward, the chain torques them both loose. For this reason, for our conversions, we weld the cog and lockring onto the hub, so that when you stop, your cog wont pop off! In our experience, the welded conversion is just as safe as a track hub; neither one has ever broken that we know of. However, if you plan on riding without a front brake, we recommend using a track wheel just to be sure. The rest of the conversion involves adjusting the axle and spacers and re-dishing the wheel. We put longer spokes on the drive side of the wheel and shorter spokes on the other one; this ensures that the cog and the lockring are in a straight line and that the rim is centered in the dropouts. Both these things are critical for a functional fixed gear: if the chainline isnt straight, the chain will derail and the chainring will get bent, and if the rim isn't centered correctly, the balance and the steering of the bike will be off....So make sure any fixed gear you buy is set up right- don't be afraid to ask questions!
Well, I'm convinced. Welding a cog to a hub sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. I doubt I'll ever want to change my gearing anyway. And I'm comforted by the fact that he says not one has ever broken "that we know of." Why, the only way they wouldn't know if one had broken would be if the rider had died, and I certainly doubt that's the case. In fact, I think I'll cut-and-paste this entire paragraph and email it to Mom and Dad so they'll feel better about wiring me that money.
We are between workshops right now, so we're temporarily working out of my apartment in williamsburg- please contact us to set up a time to come by. If you tell us your height, your price range, and any other preferences you have, we'll let you know what bikes we have that might work for you. Please call [deleted] for more info- leave a message with your number if i dont answer and i will get back to you asap.
Hmm, surprising that they're between workshops. I'd think an operation as professional and conscientious as this would already have a chain of legitimate retail outlets all over Brooklyn. Oh well--I guess I'll just keep trying until he answers. He probably can't hear me over his welder.
50cm Bianchi Track Bike (fixed gear, NO BRAKES) for sale - $600
[original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/365387986.html]
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2007-07-02, 9:28PM EDT This vintage early 1980's Bianchi Pista is a beautiful classic track bike in pristine condition. For the CL police who will no doubt post some smug comment about new Pistas selling for the same price, let me point out that I have just had the frame professionally powder coated, and I have also customized it with new upgrades of just about all the components. Even without the custom rebuild, the older Pista frames are vastly superior to the flashy new models, and unlike the Pistas currently on the market (which most racers would be too embarrassed to bring to a velodrome), they were actually made for RIDING ON THE TRACK. This bike is not drilled for brakes, and it has authentic track geometry. The new finish is a metallic sky blue color, and I have rebuilt it with all black components including:
Hold on there, Skippy. Last time I was at the velodrome I saw some of the fastest riders in NYC riding recent-vintage Pistas, and they didn't look too embarrassed. In fact, the only rider who would be "embarrassed" to ride a reasonably-priced and versatile bicycle is the kind of rider who would be afraid to enter a race in the first place. If you ever raced, you'd know that most real racers don't have a vanity bike for each and every discipline, and are more concerned with actually riding. Also, maybe you've been blinded by welding flash, but if you check the Bianchi site you'll find that the current Pistas do have true track geometry. Yes, they're handicapped by those pesky brake holes, but you can easily weld those shut.
Chris King sealed bearing headset Salsa stem straight aluminum bars with matching blue grips (or Nitto drops or bullhorns if you prefer) Dura Ace aerodynamic seatpost Koski Engineering leather saddle Campagnolo record track bottom bracket Truvativ track crankset and chainring Campy Record track pedals w/ new clips and straps Maillard high flange track wheels with Swift S11 deep dish Sunrims and butted spokes Dura Ace cog and lockring I am asking $600 for the complete bike, including 6mo. warrantee. This is a really cool looking bike, all blue and black, and it rides beautifully- very smooth and quiet. Sorry, I dont have any pics. If you would like to come see the bike please give me a call at [deleted], preferably after 5pm, and day this week. You can also email me, but I dont check my email very often so phone is best.
Good for you. Sounds like a hot setup. I love mix-matched ISO and JIS tapers. And I'm sure your warranty counts for a lot. Go back to welding lockrings onto Panasonics and leave bicycle retail to the shops that have some knowledge and accountability.
First Annual* BSNYC Fixed-Gear Film Festival
What do you get when you combine the fixed-gear trend with the youtube phenomenon? Why, an explosion of cinematic masterpieces, of course! There is nothing more riveting than watching a subculture self-indulgently capture itself on film--it's like watching home video of a toddler. For the parents it's magical. For the rest of us it's stultifying.
I've taken the time to wade through the debris of the fixed-gear cinema explosion and bring you five videos which will compete for the coveted "Cog d'Or." So just sit back, eat some popcorn, and enjoy the entries.
*(I only use the word "annual" here because it sounds good. There may be another "festival" next week, or just as likely there may never be one again.)
Entry #1: Guy Doing Spinny Wheelie Thing
This guy rides around in circles for awhile and then does a pretty cool yet at the same time totally pointless spinny wheelie thing. There's a lot of suspense while he rides around since you don't know what he's going to do. Good pacing. Says a lot about life, which is also kind of cool sometimes but mostly pointless.
Entry #2: Guy Does Some Skids for Awhile
To the strains of Tenacious D this guy does skids up and down a wet, soul-crushingly suburban street. This film raises interesting questions. Why is he doing this? Does he think this is interesting, or is it a parody? Or is it a profound comment about the blandness of suburbia? And, most importantly, did he hose down the street first?
Entry #3: That Woman in Portland Who Got Busted for Riding With No Brake Demonstrates That She Can In Fact Brake
In the documentary category comes this hard-hitting expose. The hypocrisy of the "system" is ultimately exposed when she demonstrates that she can stop almost as quickly as a bike with a coaster brake--in other words she can go from 10mph to a dead stop in less than 20 yards.
Entry #4: Guy Rides Stock Langster About 30 Blocks in Manhattan
In this epic-length (9 minutes!) nailbiter, a guy rides his bike from 23rd Street all the way to Spring Street. Nothing much happens (I checked) so you don't actually need to watch. Well, he does do some track stands, so if seeing a bike not moving fills you with excitement then this is a must-see. As if the premise is not interesting enough, he shoots the whole thing from some kind of rear-facing fork-cam, so all we see are the BB shell, his sneakers, and the occasional headlight. Bold in a "My Dinner with Andre" way, but limited commercial prospects.
Entry #5: Someone called "Kid Primitive" Performs "The Tao of Fixed-Gear Biking"
In this "Rattle and Hum"-inspired concert video, some guy performs a new-agey song about riding his fixie, apparently without irony.
And the "Cog d'Or" goes to: Guy Doing Spinny Wheelie Thing! I mean, hey, can you do a spinny wheelie thing? I sure can't.
I've taken the time to wade through the debris of the fixed-gear cinema explosion and bring you five videos which will compete for the coveted "Cog d'Or." So just sit back, eat some popcorn, and enjoy the entries.
*(I only use the word "annual" here because it sounds good. There may be another "festival" next week, or just as likely there may never be one again.)
Entry #1: Guy Doing Spinny Wheelie Thing
This guy rides around in circles for awhile and then does a pretty cool yet at the same time totally pointless spinny wheelie thing. There's a lot of suspense while he rides around since you don't know what he's going to do. Good pacing. Says a lot about life, which is also kind of cool sometimes but mostly pointless.
Entry #2: Guy Does Some Skids for Awhile
To the strains of Tenacious D this guy does skids up and down a wet, soul-crushingly suburban street. This film raises interesting questions. Why is he doing this? Does he think this is interesting, or is it a parody? Or is it a profound comment about the blandness of suburbia? And, most importantly, did he hose down the street first?
Entry #3: That Woman in Portland Who Got Busted for Riding With No Brake Demonstrates That She Can In Fact Brake
In the documentary category comes this hard-hitting expose. The hypocrisy of the "system" is ultimately exposed when she demonstrates that she can stop almost as quickly as a bike with a coaster brake--in other words she can go from 10mph to a dead stop in less than 20 yards.
Entry #4: Guy Rides Stock Langster About 30 Blocks in Manhattan
In this epic-length (9 minutes!) nailbiter, a guy rides his bike from 23rd Street all the way to Spring Street. Nothing much happens (I checked) so you don't actually need to watch. Well, he does do some track stands, so if seeing a bike not moving fills you with excitement then this is a must-see. As if the premise is not interesting enough, he shoots the whole thing from some kind of rear-facing fork-cam, so all we see are the BB shell, his sneakers, and the occasional headlight. Bold in a "My Dinner with Andre" way, but limited commercial prospects.
Entry #5: Someone called "Kid Primitive" Performs "The Tao of Fixed-Gear Biking"
In this "Rattle and Hum"-inspired concert video, some guy performs a new-agey song about riding his fixie, apparently without irony.
And the "Cog d'Or" goes to: Guy Doing Spinny Wheelie Thing! I mean, hey, can you do a spinny wheelie thing? I sure can't.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Five Reasons I Hate Being a Cyclist
Being Treated Like a Moron by the Companies that Manufacture the Equipment I Use
Come on. How stupid do these companies think I am? How can something be "stiff yet compliant?" Why do they think I will pay twice as much for the same stem I've been using for six years because now it's wrapped in carbon fiber and weighs 40 grams more? Why do they keep expanding the diameter of my headtube? Why the hell does everything have to be "oversized?" Every clamp, bearing, and tube is swelling faster than the waistlines of the middle-aged investment bankers who are buying them. Why do they think I can't figure out by looking at a component with a fancy graphic printed on it that it is identical to another company's less-expensive component that is made in the same Asian factory? Why do they keep taking spokes out of my goddamned wheels? Why do they put labels on everything warning me not to try to service it, as though it's more complicated than tightening a bolt with an allen key? You can build a whole damn bike with about three tools! Why does "Bontrager" think I'm dumb enough to pay $20 for bar end plugs? And so forth.
Explaining the Tour de France to Laypeople
The Tour is right around the corner, and I have no intention of writing about it. That will be done elsewhere--from the straight coverage on Cyclingnews to the satirical coverage they'll undoubtedly provide on Velocitynation (the US Weekly of NYC bike racing, for better or for worse). But like most cyclists at this time of year I will have at least one layperson ask me to explain how the Tour works. There was a time when I enjoyed revealing the subtleties and intricacies of the race to the uninitiated, in hopes that they would be converted and in turn spread the word and help the sport grow. Now, years later, I've come to terms with the fact that this will never happen. They'll nod their heads and go back to watching football. Good. I'm sick of explaining it anyway. What's more, I no longer want the sport to grow. It's filled with enough idiots as it is.
People Who Think That Charity Rides Are Races
I'm no misanthrope. Actually I am, but I'm all in favor of charity rides. I mean, come on, they help people and they get people riding. However, I become a little touchy when people think that they are races. Like when they close half the city for the MS Ride and some friend-of-a-friend or relative asks me, "Oh, were you in that big race today?" Or when you mention you race bikes to somebody and they tell you how the 195 pound chainsmoker in the cubicle next to them did that Five Borough Bike Tour "race" last week on a straining, squeaky hybrid and ask you why you didn't. Then when you take pains to gently explain that those aren't races, they think you're an arrogant prick. (OK, maybe that's just me.)
Being Treated Like Garbage By Everybody
Anybody who commutes by bike knows the sheer rage you feel when some obese retard in a minivan takes a break from his or her cellphone conversation to yell between bites of Dunkin' Donuts that you "belong on the sidewalk." Or how pedestrians look right through you when you have the light and walk right into your path. This is nothing new. Nor is it new that when you try to bring your valuable bicycle into a store or place of business so that it won't get stolen, the proprietor usually acts like you're bringing in a wild boar with diarrhea. But as a racer, it would at least kind of make up for it if we got any respect as athletes. But we don't. At least not in NYC. Here we're allowed to use the parks for races only until the sun comes up, at which point we're banished like Giuliani banished the homeless. Usually we're being forced out to accommodate a running race of some kind. The runners are usually allowed to stay the whole day. Over a course of many hours, finishers gradually stumble across the line while their adoring friends and family applaud and wrap them in tinfoil capes. Why are runners so loved and cyclists so despised? What's so great about running anyway? Most of these people will never get anywhere near the winners of their races. They just run for their "personal bests." Big deal! I can beat myself without even trying! I suck! You're supposed to beat somebody better than you. Maybe that's why people hate us. Because we can admit that.
Being Asked If I Won My Race
Of course I didn't! As I already mentioned, I suck. The correct question is, "How was the race?"
Come on. How stupid do these companies think I am? How can something be "stiff yet compliant?" Why do they think I will pay twice as much for the same stem I've been using for six years because now it's wrapped in carbon fiber and weighs 40 grams more? Why do they keep expanding the diameter of my headtube? Why the hell does everything have to be "oversized?" Every clamp, bearing, and tube is swelling faster than the waistlines of the middle-aged investment bankers who are buying them. Why do they think I can't figure out by looking at a component with a fancy graphic printed on it that it is identical to another company's less-expensive component that is made in the same Asian factory? Why do they keep taking spokes out of my goddamned wheels? Why do they put labels on everything warning me not to try to service it, as though it's more complicated than tightening a bolt with an allen key? You can build a whole damn bike with about three tools! Why does "Bontrager" think I'm dumb enough to pay $20 for bar end plugs? And so forth.
Explaining the Tour de France to Laypeople
The Tour is right around the corner, and I have no intention of writing about it. That will be done elsewhere--from the straight coverage on Cyclingnews to the satirical coverage they'll undoubtedly provide on Velocitynation (the US Weekly of NYC bike racing, for better or for worse). But like most cyclists at this time of year I will have at least one layperson ask me to explain how the Tour works. There was a time when I enjoyed revealing the subtleties and intricacies of the race to the uninitiated, in hopes that they would be converted and in turn spread the word and help the sport grow. Now, years later, I've come to terms with the fact that this will never happen. They'll nod their heads and go back to watching football. Good. I'm sick of explaining it anyway. What's more, I no longer want the sport to grow. It's filled with enough idiots as it is.
People Who Think That Charity Rides Are Races
I'm no misanthrope. Actually I am, but I'm all in favor of charity rides. I mean, come on, they help people and they get people riding. However, I become a little touchy when people think that they are races. Like when they close half the city for the MS Ride and some friend-of-a-friend or relative asks me, "Oh, were you in that big race today?" Or when you mention you race bikes to somebody and they tell you how the 195 pound chainsmoker in the cubicle next to them did that Five Borough Bike Tour "race" last week on a straining, squeaky hybrid and ask you why you didn't. Then when you take pains to gently explain that those aren't races, they think you're an arrogant prick. (OK, maybe that's just me.)
Being Treated Like Garbage By Everybody
Anybody who commutes by bike knows the sheer rage you feel when some obese retard in a minivan takes a break from his or her cellphone conversation to yell between bites of Dunkin' Donuts that you "belong on the sidewalk." Or how pedestrians look right through you when you have the light and walk right into your path. This is nothing new. Nor is it new that when you try to bring your valuable bicycle into a store or place of business so that it won't get stolen, the proprietor usually acts like you're bringing in a wild boar with diarrhea. But as a racer, it would at least kind of make up for it if we got any respect as athletes. But we don't. At least not in NYC. Here we're allowed to use the parks for races only until the sun comes up, at which point we're banished like Giuliani banished the homeless. Usually we're being forced out to accommodate a running race of some kind. The runners are usually allowed to stay the whole day. Over a course of many hours, finishers gradually stumble across the line while their adoring friends and family applaud and wrap them in tinfoil capes. Why are runners so loved and cyclists so despised? What's so great about running anyway? Most of these people will never get anywhere near the winners of their races. They just run for their "personal bests." Big deal! I can beat myself without even trying! I suck! You're supposed to beat somebody better than you. Maybe that's why people hate us. Because we can admit that.
Being Asked If I Won My Race
Of course I didn't! As I already mentioned, I suck. The correct question is, "How was the race?"
It's All in the Details: The Bar Scene
For cyclists, in some ways, times have never been better. Our retail outlets are brimming with bicycles and components that not too long ago would have been considered hard-to-find "specialty" items. Road, mountain, track, and cyclocross complete bikes, frames, and parts are all readily available at the LBS or online.As a result of this bounty, there has been a commingling of componentry like never before. Mountain bike pedals on track bikes, disc brakes on 'cross bikes, flat bars on road bikes--people are using whatever wherever to suit their particular riding styles. They're disregarding intended use, so long as the component does the job.
Perhaps the most commingling has occurred with handlebars. The lines between road and offroad, track and road, and so forth, have blurred considerably. Now, I'm all for comfort, but sometimes I think this handlebar promiscuity has gone too far. Coupled with this, there's also just a general disregard for proper handlebar setup, as well as a sacrifice of functionality for the sake of style. Some of this is due to mixing and matching, some is due to ignorance, some to vanity, and some to neglect. Here are some examples:
Maiming
"Flop n' Chop"
With the fixed gear explosion has come a mass butchering of handlebars that would make Stalin blush. What is this compulsion to neuter the simple road bar by cutting off the hooks and removing the means by which you can most effectively transfer power to the bike? Somewhere in the trendier neighborhoods of our nation's cities there must be vast killing fields of dismembered drops like endless expanses of severed walrus tusks. A person more enterprising than myself might find these graveyards and sell the remains to Cinelli so they can make more of those stupid Spinacis.
Excessively Chopped Straight Bars
Before the bullhorn and the riser bar, the flat mountain bike handlebar was appropriated for street use. These things are fairly wide, so it's normal on- or off-road to cut them down. It lets you pass between trees or cars, depending on where you're using them. However, truncating them so there's only a fistful of aluminum on either side of the stem is just vain affectation. Just because messengers do it doesn't make it a good idea. I won't take the time to explain the concept of leverage here, but on a bicycle it's something you want. Most of these riders will never see a real hill so it's not an issue, but on the East River crossings they look like they're trying to open a bottle of wine while holding it between their knees, or like Bill Murray in "Caddyshack" cutting new holes in the green. And forget handling--unless you want your bike to be twitchier than a chihuahua with a nerve disorder, go easy with the hacksaw.
Poor Positioning
Bullhorns
I'm not a tremendous fan of bullhorn handlebars for street use, but it's certainly better than maiming an innocent drop bar. If you're going to go this route, just please install your lever correctly. Don't put it on with the lever tip pointing forward, so that your bike looks like a pike fish swimming with its mouth open. Also, try to keep the bars somewhat level. I know they're called bullhorns, but TT bars pointed skyward makes it look like you're riding an antelope. And if you prefer to ride with your arms straight out in front of you, perhaps you'd be more comfortable in a car gripping a steering wheel, or on a subway holding a magazine.
Risers with Quill Stems
Using risers on a street bike is better than drop bars with grips on the tops. At least the rider has come to terms with the fact that he or she will be staying in the upright position. And sure, sometimes you need a little more bar height than your steer tube would otherwise allow. But very often I see bikes with quill stems and riser bars with the stem lowered to its minimum height. Why not just use regular bars and raise the stem? There's a reason you didn't see risers much until the threadless thing took over. And yes, I realize it works just fine, but it's making five lefts to go right--like using air conditioning and the heat at the same time--and consequently inelegant.
Rotation on Drop Bars
Depending on what's comfortable and where you like your levers you might opt to rotate your bars up or down a bit. But often I see riders with their bars angled way, way down, so that the drops form the letter "U." The only explanation I can possibly come up with is that their bars are slipping a little bit each day, and it's so incremental they're just not noticing it. Either that or they just want to feel like they're holding on to two umbrella handles while they ride. And I don't even think I need to mention people who rotate their bars all the way up, so that their brake levers are on top and parallel with the ground. These people are generally riding old ten speeds along boardwalks, wearing flip-flops and pedaling with their heels, and as such are so beyond knowing (or caring) what they're doing that they're outside of the jurisdiction of this site.
(Not what you want to hold while riding.)Bar Ends Pointing Straight Up
Your bar ends are to give you leverage and a more forward hand position should you need it. Yet for some reason every week or so I see somebody with his bar ends pointed directly skyward. These things exist for a purpose, and it's not to make your bike look like an attentive lemur. A good rule of thumb is to angle them using your stem as a guideline--unless of course you've got a vertical stem.
(Adorable--but not a guideline for proper bar setup.)Bar Ends on Riser Bars
There are certain rules of thumb in cycling that exist for no good reason except that adherence to them means you're "in the know." And the admonition to not use bar ends on riser bars is one of those rules. Those of you who choose to disregard the rules and do whatever works best for you are certainly more enlightened than me, I will freely admit. That said, ditch the bar ends on riser bars--it looks stupid.
Dressing
The MummyYes, bar tape can tear, and you don't always have the time or inclination to purchase costly cork and re-tape your bars. Especially on a commuter, or at the end of a long racing season when just looking at your bike makes you want to throw up. In these cases, temporarily fixing the problem with a little electrical tape is acceptable. However, what is never acceptable is letting loose tape flutter in the breeze so that your bike looks like an old-time movie monster. Bar tape hanging off your bars is the equivalent of having toilet paper stuck to your shoe. And while I'm at it, if you don't know how to tape your bars properly, take tomorrow off, stay home, and learn.
Full Frontal Nudity
I see more and more people riding with completely bare bars these days. Please, out of decency, cover your naked, shivering bars. I don't know if people don't know how to tape them, or they just think it looks cool. But there's just nothing cool about grabbing your bars with sweaty, gloveless hands and sliding off the drops. It's like trying to handle porcelain after eating a meal of greasy spare ribs. Except the latter won't cost you your teeth.
Just Plain Overdoing It
Integrated Carbon Bar/Stems
This is one of those bad ideas manufacturers just don't seem to be able to leave alone. Pros don't even ride these things. What is the wisdom of a system that saves no weight while simultaneously preventing you from changing your stem length, stem angle, bar width, and bar angle without tossing the whole thing? In the case of the FSA Plasma, you can have the convenience of this setup for the low, low price of almost $600--which can buy you a pretty decent frame in some parts of the world. Personally I'd rather commit to a tattoo of my bar/stem setup than actually physically fix it in stone (or carbon) like these things force you to do. At least with the tattoo I can still be comfortable. (And I can cover it up with my new bar/stem setup for less money.) If these things were the norm and regular "modular" bars and stems were just coming out they'd be hailed as a brilliant innovation. They also look dated in about six months--remember the Cinelli Integralter? Neither do they.
Clip-On Aero Bars of Any Kind
Unless you are actually riding a TT and need to adapt your road bike to the purpose, please think twice before you bolt all kinds of extensions, forearm pads, beverage containers, and digital readouts on your bars. Some people seem to think they will find zen if they can attain every conceivable hand position possible. But it is never possible. Buddhists will tell you that material gain will never bring you true fulfillment, and I'm here to tell you that multiple hand positions won't bring you true cycling fulfillment. Instead, one day you'll get so frustrated you'll dispense with the aero extensions altogether and find yourself riding a recumbent. And trust me, you do not want to wind up rolling around town looking like a guy lying on the ground and trying to fight off an attacking eagle with his feet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
