Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads, #1

Admittedly I have an overdeveloped sense of propriety when it comes to bikes. A bike doesn't have to be high-end necessarily. It just needs to be right. Well thought-out, properly assembled, and with a component selection appropriate to the bike's usage and to the machine as a whole. And while I feel that as a cyclist one should be able to do whatever one wants (blow lights, ignore traffic signs, and so forth), I also feel that certain equipment choices and combinations just should not be allowed.

Cursed as I am with such a keen bicycle sense, there is no more nauseatingly offensive classifieds list as the NYC bikes for sale section of Craigslist. This could be a great resource for us NYC cyclists, like it is in other cities. (Check the Denver Craigslist if you don't believe me.) Instead, it's a bicycle cesspool. Overpriced fixie conversions, obsolete relics being touted as "vintage," blurry photos of crap... It's enough to make me want to yell at my monitor. And I know there are others like me as well. You know who you are. You post snide comments on the board, call people out on their pricing, and generally vent your frustrations on clueless hipster bike-sellers.

Which is why I bring you "Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads." This first entry, appropriately, is absolutely hideous:

59c surly steamroller velocity chris king nitto - $950

(original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/351232204.html)

$900 for a Surly Steamroller? Only in New York. (Or only in East Williamsburg, or Bushwick, or wherever the kids are living today.)

Reply to: sale-351232204@craigslist.orgDate: 2007-06-13, 11:29AM EDT

im selling my steamer to make some other projects happen

If they are as hideous as this God help us.

59c surly steamroller frame and fork

chris king headset

nitto b123 bars

OK so far... on paper. But what is this thing wrapped in? A tablecloth from an Italian restaurant?

white velocity deepv wheelset(formula hubs)

It's ENOUGH ALREADY with the powder-coated Deep Vs. Seriously, people should be embarassed to ride them by now.

rivendale speedblend tires(change colors)

Those things are freaking ugly. Even Grant Peterson of RivenDELL just threw up in his mouth a little bit.

blue anodized vintage shimano 600 crankset

Finally--a little color!

carbon seat post

It's important to shave grams with a carbon seatpost when you're going to secure it to the frame with about two pounds of drive chain so it doesn't get stolen.

selle italia saddle

What model?!?

itm stem

What model?!? What length?!?

crank bros mallet pedals (ill sell with or without)

Downhill mountain bike pedals have no place on a road bike of any kind and should not be allowed.

miche primato sealed bb tektro brake and cross lever(why not its drilled)

Miche Primato bottom brackets are ISO taper. Your Shimano crank wants a JIS taper. Mixing the tapers on square taper cranks can be very bad for the crank. Good thing that brake's on there--you're going to need it when your crank arm splits and falls off.

mechanic owned and operated for a short time ill clean it upo shortly, top tube and downtube are covered .....its a between bikes bike and i knew id be selling it so i kept it tiptop thats it ill maybe post some other measurements and pics later but no time now leave your # if your interested

Mechanic, eh? I can tell by the mixmatched crank/spindle. Your poor bike hates its life. "Look away, I'm hideous!," it says. Why did you do this to a perfectly nice Steamroller?!? There needs to be an Angelina Jolie of bicycles to rescue these poor things...