Is America Too Stupid For Bikes?

Watch out everybody, because here come the E-Freds!



Yep, same Fredly bikes you're used to, only with the added benefit of having to ravage the earth for lithium:

Yamaha evidently "soft-launched" these at Interbike:

“In some ways from a Yamaha global perspective, the U.S. market is sort of the place for outdoor recreation,” Trester said.

Engelmann said Yamaha will sell through IBDs and e-IBDs. 

“There is a reawakening of bicycling in the U.S. right now. I would hesitate to say that it’s because of e-bikes; however, there are more non-common consumers coming into bicycle retail looking for power-assist bicycles now than ever before,” Engelmann said. “E-bikes are now giving the retailer the opportunity to win the test ride again.” 

And while I'm becoming increasingly comfortable with the idea of ebikes, I'm simultaneously becoming even more skeptical that Americans are capable of making intelligent decisions, especially where vehicles with wheels are concerned.  That's why I wonder if bikes like these will in fact help give that "reawakening of bicycling in the U.S." a little tailwind, or if they'll wind up entombed in basements and garages just like their 10 speed forbears did.

We shall see.

Of course, it is worth noting that plenty of those old 10 speeds were subsequently exhumed by the owners' children, who then shlepped them from the suburbs into the city and turned them into fixies:

So perhaps in 20 years the e-fixie will emerge as the hot new urban bicycle and life will have come full circle.

Oh, and in other Interbike news, the co-founder of Speedplay certainly knows how to handle a bike:

This is how Richard, our co-founder, conducts his meetings at @interbike. Designs the best pedal system & has some bike skills! #speedplay pic.twitter.com/cnzYPWtO02

— Speedplay Pedals (@SpeedplayPedals) September 22, 2017

Also, he's not using Speedplays:

Busted!!!

Anyway, speaking of how dumb Americans are, remember those sport-o rape-bros I mentioned last Monday who want cyclists to die?  Well here's their most recent salvo:

. @EKANardini sold in your store. Is advocating vehicular assault part of your business model? pic.twitter.com/fLKa9PRIwN

— Grabau (@agrabau) September 24, 2017

It really makes you angry too:

Until you take a closer look and realize how fucking stupid it is:

Yeah, that's a picture of bicyclist safely passing an opening car door without incident, only with the word "Don't" scrawled on it.  As far as antagonizing images go it's even more impotent than they are after shotgunning a case of Bud Light.

Schmucks.

I'd love to come across someone wearing one of these t-shirts though, because needling them in public would be immensely satisfying.  Sadly I don't think you'll ever see them in the wild, because the sorts of people who would wear a shirt like this would no doubt hide them under something else until they get together in their "safe space" for a "limp biscuit" party.

I think I may finally be ready to admit that America is too stupid for bikes.  Even people who ride bikes have been so deeply mind-fucked by the Automotive Industrial Complex there's little hope for them.  Consider this comment on Outside's Facebook page in response to my brilliant and insightful column about how driving to rides blows:

I dunno, seems like you could buy an even sweeter bike if you didn't have to make those Hyundai payments.  And yes, it's true, without cars there would be no roads.  Everybody knows the road was invented around the same time as the Model T, and before that people just slashed their way through the forest with machetes:

(Typical 19th century pedestrian)

And what the fuck does he think the Appian Way was, a form of Italian martial arts?

But yes, sarcasm aside, cars are certainly responsible for paved roads, right?

Absolutely wrong:

The hard, flat road surfaces we take for granted are relatively new. Asphalt surfaces weren't widespread until the 1930s. So, are motorists to thank for this smoothness?

No. The improvement of roads was first lobbied for – and paid for – by cycling organisations.

In the UK and the US, cyclists lobbied for better road surfaces for a full 30 years before motoring organisations did the same. Cyclists were ahead of their time.

Yep, the roads were already being macadamized by the late 19th century because of our earliest Fredly ancestors and you'd better believe we were all over that shit:

[PDF]

And do you think the car made things better or worse?  Well, when was the last time you heard Jersey described this way?

I mean sure, there's still some fine riding in New Jersey, but come on.

But yeah, by all means, if roads weren't optimized for cars there wouldn't be any more good riding, which is why the cycling in Tuscany is so terrible:

What a friggin' dipshit.

Yes, for some reason people seem to think bikes are un-American, despite the fact that even NASCAR drivers ride them:

"They are like six inches from the shoulder," Earnhardt said. "I can't ride that close to the shoulder. I'm all over the place and I'm wobbling all over the damn road and this guy goes by and flips me off. I guess I kind of ticked him off. Anyways, I was surprised at how rude drivers are on the road."

M-hmmm.

Well, not all of them:

“I’m not sure about the whole bicycle deal,” he said Friday at New Hampshire Motor Speedway ahead of Sunday’s Overton’s 301. “And I don’t quite get those guys and the amount of money they spend on a — whatever it is — 32-ounce bicycle when all they’ve gotta do is just go on Craigslist and get a Schwinn or something like that and pedal half the distance and twice as hard and get a better workout.”

He's kinda got a point.

Also, it's kind of ironic that none of them seem to know what motorpacing is:

“I guess it was probably back Talladega weekend, I offered to get a moped and cut the air for Kenseth and those guys just to kind of give them a little draft, some drafting partners, ya know?” he said. “But they haven’t taken me up on it.

They totally should.