Tuesday, March 8, 2016

No Corner Of The Earth Will Be Spared The Scourge of Fredness

Group ride not cutting it anymore?  Can't shake the sensation that hunting Strava segments is the new mall walking?  Then why not embrace your inner Shackleton and undertake an expedition to the Final Fredly Frontier--the South Pole?


Introducing The Last Degree, the first ever group fat bike expedition to the South Pole.

In this incredible 18 day adventure, participants will cycle 111 km from the 89th parallel to the most southerly point on Earth – the Geographic South Pole. The cyclists will have an opportunity to experience firsthand the unforgiving but magical Antarctic landscape. They will be rewarded with the satisfaction of completing what was, until now, simply never done.

Yes, now you can plug the giant hole in your heart with Earth's least civilized continent (Australia excluded), and if you're a middle-aged man who has too much money and nothing to brag about at your children's private school functions then riding across Antarctica will surely freeze your ennui so you can smash it into a million little pieces.

But first, in order to prove you have the mental fortitude for the ultimate in luxury hardship and prepackaged accomplishment, you'll have to endure a soul-crushing trip to Lake Winnipeg:

There is a mandatory training camp being held on Lake Winnipeg in February 2016 to make sure all participants are well prepared for the Antarctic conditions.

If you can handle that level of boredom then Antarctica should be a breeze.

Anyway, here's some propaganda from the organizers:

 

"You might think that you could never do this, that you could never ride your bike from Beijing to Istanbul."


No.  I know I could ride my bike from Beijing to Istanbul, just as long as give you $21,300.

"'Where would I find the strength?'"


Where would I find the strength?  More like where would I find the time and money--though that one's a relative bargain at only $15,200.  (Though this doesn't include an additional $10,000 deposit against any fines for helmetless riding.)

But these are just warm-ups for the main event, and here's the itinerary:

Itinerary

Day 1 to 4: Punta Arenas

Testing equipment, safety briefings, gear inspection, environmental standards assessment.

There's nothing that makes cyclists feel more important than fussing with their equipment before the big ride, so one can only imagine the massive Fred boners everyone will be sporting as they ask each other #whatpressureyourunning before heading to the South Pole.

Day 5 to 7: Union Glacier base camp

4.5hr flight to Union Glacier base camp. Welcome dinner. An overnight ride out of Union Glacier base camp to fine tune our equipment, and gear.

Translation: more #whatpressureyourunning, bigger Fred boners.

Day 8 to 16: Fat Bike to the South Pole

Flight to the 89°S latitude. Expedition to South Pole. Approximately 20 km riding per day on average (adjusting to conditions), with additional days built into the schedule for potential bad weather, riding conditions, injury/ailment or any other unforeseen delays. Arrive at the Geographic South Pole, South Pole camp and research station. Evening celebration.

The evening celebration will involve comparing notes on what pressure you were running, as well as memorializing or possibly even eating any members of the party who did not survive owing to sub-optimal tire pressure curation.

Day 17 to 18: Return to Punta Arenas

Fly back to Union Glacier base camp. Official celebration, awards and certificate of completion. Flight back to Punta Arenas and transfer to the hotel. Reception at the hotel bar to celebrate the successful first group fat bike expedition to the Last Degree.

So how much to you pay for a frigid fat bike wankathon complete with an award presentation at the end?  Well, if you have to ask you probably can't afford it, but if you insist on being vulgar by discussing numbers it's a relative bargain at US$70,000:


Clicking the "more info" unfurls a PDF with the particulars, and while your $70,000 does include a fat bike from you-know-who that you get to keep in your trophy room:

It does not include any of the following:

• Flights to and from Punta Arenas, Chile
• Special Antarctic travel insurance
• Meals in Punta Arenas
• Frame packs and/or sled
• Specialized cold-weather clothing and footwear
• Sleeping bag rated to -40°C
• Mandatory training camp at Lake Winnipeg
• Cost of evacuation in the event of emergency

Wow.  So what happens if you have to be evacuated?  Do they arrange it and simply add that onto the bill like when you order room service, or if you're not a head of state and can't call for a rescue by your nation's military do they just leave you to die?

Either way, you shouldn't feel guilty about rubbing your dick all over one of the few remaining patches of the planet that hasn't been jizzed on by human beings, because spending $70,000 to ride a Specialized in Antarctica promotes "greater awareness" somehow:

We are also very aware that wherever one journeys there will be some footprint. Especially in Antarctica. We believe in minimizing these footprints and that the positives of these trips will outweigh the negatives whether through greater awareness of issues or simply by motivating individuals - after doing the tours - towards positive and sustainable actions.

I look forward to hearing what sort of "positive and sustainable actions" riding a fat bike across Earth's Scranus and drinking wine and beer in an ice cave inspires its participants to perform when they get home:

At Union Glacier meals are prepared by ALE’s experienced international chefs. ALE regularly flies in fresh fruits and vegetables, meats and fish from Chile and maintain an ample stock of pastas, grains and other staples in their ice cave. Dinners are accompanied by wine and beer.

I'm guessing it probably involves buying a Tesla.



Sharapova, a 28-year-old Russian who is one of the world’s most visible sports figures, is by far the most prominent athlete to be barred for meldonium, a drug originally developed in Latvia for heart patients that aids oxygen flow and is not approved for sale in the United States.

What?  More visible than Eduard Vorganov?!?

(Trapped between two milkmaids, Vorganov looks concerned.)

Meldonium, a drug manufactured in Latvia, is new to the WADA prohibited list this year after studies proved that athletes were using the drug to enhance performance. According to an article in Drug Testing and Analysis, researchers found it "demonstrates an increase in endurance performance of athletes, improved rehabilitation after exercise, protection against stress, and enhanced activations of central nervous system (CNS) functions."

Yes, evidently meldonium only made the banned list this year, which means it's pretty safe to assume the peloton has been on it for ages.  I'm sure the amateurs are using it too, since you can order it online:


(I'm not linking directly to this site since online pharmacies scare me.)

Though when I checked yesterday evening (it's for my cat!) there was already a run on the stuff, presumably due to the Sharapova bust:

Which is too bad, because the stuff gets great reviews:


"Achive" is obviously a typo.  Petar Bruno is probably an archivist, and what he's saying is that after a hit of meldonium he'll archive the shit out of everything.

And if you don't think the Freds and their ilk are all over this stuff, consider this post on an Internet forum from some tridork looking for doping advice:

Some background info: 
I’m an age grouper/amateur triathlete training mostly for Ironman full distance and ½Ironman, 10-20 hours a week. Of various reasons (I do not want to bother you with here), I’m looking for some PEDs to enhance my Performance, both in terms of training to become stronger/better, but also to perform better on “race days”. I’m 34 years old, 179 cm high and weight around 68 kg’s. 
As an amateur, I’m not subject to any unannounced doping controls during the season, but I can potentially be subject to one during my race days. This I need to incorporate into my cycles and timing of the different PEDs. 

Think about that on your next Gran Gondo:


Lastly, if you're vertically advantaged you may be interested in this Kickstarter:



And even if you're not it's totally worth it for the 36er porn:


C'mon, LOOK AT THAT!


The wheels are taller than the guardrail for Lob's sake!


And look how teeny the chainring looks between those two unicycle wheels!


Best of all, it dwarfs every other bike at the bar:


I expect we'll see a 36er fat bike by this time next year.

92 comments:

Unknown said...

126. Let us explain why technology is a more powerful social force than the aspiration for freedom.

N/A said...

The South Pole is a great place for Fat Freds!

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Top 3, Scranus!

dnk said...

Bottom step of the podio? Marco Rubio?

dnk said...

Verily Marco will be in 4th place...

N/A said...

I need a 36'er. I'd like to curate one with a 1x drivetrain*, boost 48 spacing*, tubeless-ready*, fat tires*, 100% full crabon fibre*, and wireless derailers*.






*buzzwords, son. Buzzwords.

Anonymous said...

Biggest USP to the 36'er is to imagine how long those rims are going to last! Unless you're already on dick breaks....

Bill

N/A said...

Damn, I forgot to mention dick breaks.

JuanOffhue said...

Top ten? Time for more coffee.

Anonymous said...

Wake up Freds!

bad boy of the north said...

36ers...isn't that a basketball team from philly?i think a certain pine mountain should be able make it the south pole.just my two cents with no sense.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Re the Antarctic Fred Expedition-

It does not include any of the following:

• Flights to and from Punta Arenas, Chile

• Special Antarctic travel insurance

• Meals in Punta Arenas

• Frame packs and/or sled

Specialized cold-weather clothing and footwear

• Sleeping bag rated to -40°C

• Mandatory training camp at Lake Winnipeg

• Cost of evacuation in the event of emergency

Is that cold weather clothing Specialized TM or just special for the Antarctic weather? I note the Antarctic travel insurance is just "Special." They are going to be sued a F**k-ton by Mike Sinyard if it's not designed in Morgan Hill.

Re Maria Sharapova - I read in my local paper this morning that she has been taking Meldonium for 10 years for a variety of health reasons. At first glance, she doesn't appear to be unhealthy at all, similar to all those professional bike racers who are asthmatic and need their albuterol inhalers. But the health reasons were really that her bank account and investment portfolio were both much healthier when she is winning and getting tons of endorsement money.

bad boy of the north said...

really?now an electric bike cargo trailer on kickstarter?maybe they could use it on the trek across Antarctica?

Sir Ernest Shackleton said...

"In this incredible 18 day adventure, participants will cycle 111 km ..."

I can WALK 111 kms in 18 days, even taking every other day off.

This woman went from the edge of Antarctica to the south pole, 800 kms, in 18 days, including about 103 km by bike. Turns out cross county skies and a kite/sail is a much beter way to travel across ice and snow than fat bikes.

Sir Ernest Shackleton said...

Correction...BBC lady biked 166 kms in Antarctica.

Anonymous said...

But does that 36er have BOOST?

The King of Park Slope said...

Whatever happened to Pornakova?

DB said...

Lance won a civil suit over something or other, can't keep track anymore and the Tour of Germany is back for 2018!
Jan Ullrich has two years to get in shape.

McFly said...

Does Maria want to share her pova with moi? Then she could test positive for disappointment.

crosspalms said...

Another thing they don't tell you about that South Pole trip: the penguins.

bad boy of the north said...

crosspalms,that's going to be the same response we 'mericans are gonna get when Canada refuses to let us in after the Donald becomes da'prez!

crosspalms said...

Canadians, penguins, pandas, koalas. They all seem so nice till you get close...

N/A said...

Canadians mostly live a sedentary lifestyle spent lazily munching on eucalyptus leaves and hanging from trees by their prehensile tails. Once a month they make a pilgrimage to Horton's for Timbits and coffee, and to practice in their unusual mating ritual that mainly consists of rubbing their "tuques" together.

Joe said...

Meldonium, eh? So THAT's why I keep not winning CRCA races?

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

When you get to the South Pole, aka the Bottom of the World, it's all North from here!

Anonymous said...

I'd totally do the South Pole thing on a 36'er.

Spokey said...

goooood morning scranoids

a fine monday it is indeed

Knüt Fredriksson said...

I'm thinking that there is money to be made leading expeditions to exotic New Jersey...

The $25,000/person cost would not include any of the following:

• Flights to and from Newark

• Special insurance (aka. protection money)

• Meals of any kind

• Messenger bag and/or u-lock holster

• Specialized hipster clothing and footwear

• Hotel room without bedbugs

• Mandatory training camp in Brooklyn

• Cost of evacuation in the event of emergency (aka. cab, bus or train fare)

Spokey said...


ruckus

i'm going to take a preliminary run this afternoon as soon as the temp gets up to a frigid 70F. i assume i can right this off as a biznuss expense.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

If recumbabe went on the south pole ride she'd wear nothing under her parka and snow pants.

James said...

Is it just me or does that Grand Fondo NY picture look a lot like an industrial chicken farm?

NHcycler said...



recumbent conspiracy theorist typed:

"If recumbabe went on the south pole ride she'd wear nothing under her parka and snow pants."

But you know she'd be on a 36'er recumbent. And those two Canadian Maple Leaves on her chest would look that much smaller, even if they'd be under a parka.

NHcycler said...

Maybe I should have typed "36er"; 36'er is waaaaay too large!

Grantland Rice said...

Current scorecard for bicycle related Kickstateres recently link to by Mr. Snob:

POS Chinese made aluminum bikes Still at $39 (looking for $21,631)

Big Wheel Bikes for Tall people $30,094 (looking for $19,999) Was funded BEFORE the BSNYC link.

Aussie ring bell thing $306,537 (!!!!!and that is US Dollars!!!!) (Looking for $14,247!!!! ONLY!!!) Has more than doubled since the BSNYC link.

Anonymous said...

The emergency evacuation fees are pretty standard for these extreme trips. See climbing Denali outfitters. It's only a measly $7500 for 20 days worth of cold exposure.

Anonymous said...

"Is it just me or does that Grand Fondo NY picture look a lot like an industrial chicken farm?"

HA! An observations worthy of the Snob himself.

Anonymous said...

I like how the guy says, "I'd like to buy some PEDs, please."

Bob Patterson said...

Well, if bike bloggers had to be drug tested, would you pass? LOL

82medici said...

Sharipova says that she received an e-mail in January with the new list of banned drugs, but that she didn't bother to open it. Nor did her trainer, agent, trainer's agent's assistant or any of her other helper-monkeys. And I am sure that this single e-mail was the only way to find out about the new list.
Anyway, I am anxiously waiting on the Latvian Big Pharma to gear up production; I gotta get me some of that stuff in time for the group ride Sunday.

Anonymous said...

Anon at 12:45

But why did he want to buy the PEDs? To "enhance his performance", as he was careful to explain.

mikeweb said...

At 6'3" I see that I would fit the XS size. Seems kinda pointless.

Huh, and I just had to pick out pictures of CARS to be able to post. Cars? Really? Doesn't the robot detector machine ever read this blog?

Anonymous said...

That attacking penguin had to be on Sharapovo's PED of choice.

Comment deleted said...

Ignore history at your peril Antarctifreds! Shackleton didn't make it, and Scott *really* didn't make it, but who did? That's right, Amundsen. If you don't bring dogs along, I don't like your chances at all. They are robust, loyal, and most important...tasty.

It might be prudent to make sure somebody on your FatBike Assault on the Pole has meaty thighs.

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

Cool story bro:
Since it isn't raining in the Bay Area today, I went over the GG Bridge for a spin of the headlands. At the north end of the bridge, right where the cables land in the concrete tower and make the bike way just wide enough for two Freds, I saw a couple of guys heading straight towards me chatting, side by side, one on a road bike, one with wide flat bars. A loud 'heads up' barely got a response; the flat-bar guy just looked up at the last second to brake and tuck in behind his companion. I swore loudly at him.
A sleek kindly Fred who was following asked me if I knew who that was. I hadn't been paying enough attention to the faces, merely the gap I was trying to make manifest. 'I won't say, but it's someone who likes to cultivate a lot of mystique' was the cryptic answer. As I struggled to keep pace I said 'Lucas Brunelle?' 'No, someone really important' was the no less cryptic response.
Well, whoever you were, you were being a fucker, as I said to you at the time....

N/A said...

I had a group of tri-dorks-in-training try the "take the entire path" method of riding one early morn. The dork most directly oncoming to me had his head turned and was talking to somebody on his right and was not paying attention to my forthcomingness. There was no good off-path option, so my choices were to crash or pray. I hollered and hooted and finally barked a sharp, "FRONT!" and his head snapped 'round. As he recognized the impending crack-up, he swerved over into the guy he had been talking to and knocked him off the path. Luckily nobody got hurt, but the guy that went off the path fell over and got his sweet "kit" all muddy.

leroy said...

I don't mean to brag, but my dog recently organized the ultimate NYC cycling adventure.

He led us from the Brooklyn side of the Brooklyn Bridge to a fantastic soup dumpling restaurant on Lawrence Street in Downtown Brooklyn.

It was almost a mile, but well worth the $50 he charged me even if I did have to pay for his meal too.

(The place is Yaso Tangbao. It's about to be reviewed in the Times so it's not like it's going to be a secret.)

bad boy of the north said...

lumpen fredetariat and n/a.......nice.mr.roboto says airplanes.

Two Claws said...

Meldonium - sounds like something a street musician would crank while his monkey in a fez scampers around collecting tips.

N/A said...

"Meldonium" is an element discovered in 1983 by noted boner-pill specialist, Franz Melbert. He had noticed that a group of bears that hibernated in a particular cave had tremendous erections, and beautiful flowing fur. Melbert's team studied the bears intensely for 15 years, and finally noticed one day that the bears would periodically lick the rocks on the walls of the cave. Melbert called in his roomate, and noted geologisticianist, Don Rigglesby, to study the cave. The rest is, as they say, history!

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

unforgiving but magical, yeah that is me.

Unknown said...

vsk said ...

Bad omen for Fondon't prep...
First commute in a long damm time and ponk! chikchikchik... broke a rear spoke. At least it's not the drive side.
Locked up outside work, the ripen odor of homeless folks adding to the atmosphere and noticed the inner tube bubbling out of a 1/4 inch rip in the sidewall of my Conti Gatorskin. Now what? We'll see.

I always wanted a Coker Monster Cruiser! 36" of child labor assembled awesomeness!

I think the frames all looked like girl's bikes so you could at least have a human "standover" measurement.

South Pole eh? Leave no trace!

vsk

NHcycler said...

"(Trapped between two milkmaids, Vorganov looks concerned.)"

It looks like he's in full concentration mode. He's trying to figure out what, exactly, he's fondling with which hand.

Anonymous said...

Sharapova is a shameful cheater. The "reasons" she was taking it are a joke: "Irregular EKGs, magnesium deficiency; and early indications of diabetes. She also said she was "getting sick very often" before she went on it."

Organized sports are becoming a farce. Perhaps they always were. But that some are using these drugs, and rationalizing it, while knowing others do not, means that they do not even understand what physical competition is supposed to be about. They are corrupt at the most basic level.

This is Armstrong all over again. I think high dollar corporate sponsorships are a significant part of the problem, and need to be reexamined. And the fact these companies pull sponsorship when this happens means they get to look good but got what they wanted in the glory days, even though they are culpable.

Steve

Joe said...

In other news, the MTA is introducing new buses that emit "audible voice alerts" when turning ("HEY! I'm turnin' here" I imagine) so now it will be doubly your fault when they run you over.

Very Slim Pickens said...

La Grand Criterium du Gowanus Canal:

20 Laps of 5K each around NYC's most famous canal, date TBD ***

Registration Fee TBD (airfare, Amtrak, Metro North, Long Island RR, buses, taxi's, subway, hotels, Airbnb, camping, not included - basically, nothing is included). Cyclists are advised to procure life and health insurance. Theft insurance is recommended in case your steed is stolen out from under you while riding. Riders are advised to wear chain mail at all times.

Course: Starting at the intersection of 17th St and 3rd Ave proceeding North (East rounded off) on 3rd, thereafter to all West turns (hang a left) at the corner of Baltic Street, ditto at Smith Street, ditto at Hamilton Ave (tickets to Hamilton are not included), crossing under the Gowanus Expressway (a misnomer during rush hour) where cyclists should avoid falling motor vehicles, especially SUV's, back to the starting point.

Note: Course will not be closed to motor vehicles or pedestrians, riders should take evasive actions.

At 3rd and 7th the course passes the "Morbid Anatomy Museum", ticket included with registration fee.

At Smith & Sacket the course passes "Bar Great Harry", where Cipo tends bar. Establishment has generously provided a coupon good for a sample sized tube of Brylcream, which will be included in each racers Goody Bag.

FY(Riding)I: A Dunkin Donuts is located at 3rd and 14th. Event will be loosely times, riders should feel free to stop anywhere they want.

Between On 3rd Ave, between 3rd and 6th St's, riders can catch a glimpse of the canal by looking West. Riders are advised not to inhale when passing the canal. Ditto on Hamilton when crossing the canal.

Post race food catered by Leroy's Dogs, a hot dog vender of international renown.

*** Race, err, I mean, Le Grand Criterium, will be postponed if the canal happens to be on fire that day.

BamaPhred said...

Meldonium? Latvia? What is this, an Andy Kaufman movie? Anyway, who cares, she's haaaaawwwwt. Way hotter than that sports sidelines reporter who just hit the Powerball, I mean the tort system, for 55 million Murican fun tickets.

Anonymous said...



According to this morning's paper, $28 million is supposed to come from the perp., who does not have anything close to that amount. $27 million is supposed to come from the hotel chain where the incident occurred, because they are apparently supposed to know when someone in on of their rooms is drilling a hole in the wall. the Hotel has $27 million, but the reporter's lawyers are likely going to get 40% to 67% percent of that.

mikeweb said...

in re: La Grand Criterium du Gowanus Canal

Please note that the Smith St. leg of the loop will involve heavy salmoning. Heavily laden front basket is strongly recommended.

Anonymous said...

Isn't he trapped between FOUR milkmaids?

NourskSiklist said...

I shan't be impressed until there's a phat biek expedition to the Mountains of Madness. Trustafarian big wheel Freds should be allowed to get lost in the frozen waste, and stumble upon the antediluvian ruined cities of the Old Ones. Gazing in nameless horror at Things Freds Were Not Meant To Know, such as a crabon recumbent trike embedded in glacial ice, and a giant statue of Sheldon Brown that follows them with its eyes. Losing what little minds they have, they would gibber madly back into the frigid wasteland. Aeons later, explorers would discover their freeze-dried corpses, marvel over the extravagant richness of their kit, be nonplussed over their energy gel smeared rictuses (rictii?) and alien conveyances, then conclude that cause of death was boredom and excess of disposable cash. No great loss. Moving on, gentlemen... I spy a giant gelatinous mass over in that ice cave, replete with gnashing mouths and googly eyes.

Domo arigato Mister Robotto

Roille Figners said...

milk BAGS

The Other Real Donald Trump (the real one) said...

Meldonium is my wife. If you use her name again you will pay a price.

Bye, Fredlicia said...

I sincerely hope the Antarctic Fred Fat-Boners run into a surprise Condition 1 Storm:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz2SeEzxMuE

Spokey said...

Comment deleted @ 1:35 PM

pffffff. wimps all of them. Dora the Explorer ( and her helper monkey) got there first just wearing her cute red jacket and purple skirt.

Spokey said...

oops

forgets the link i did: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amy3mFmCDSU

Unknown said...

vsk said ...

Go Anus Canal route should start on 3rd Ave and 3rd Street (hipsterly known as the Whole Foods) or (Turd and turd because that's what the stench will remind you of). West on 3rd St (over the canal), right / north on Bond St, right / East on Union St(over the canal again) and right / South on 3rd Ave. Rinse + repeat til last rider remains conscious... last rider wins. Insurance Costs for pulmonary + Eyeball, Ear, and Nose specialists not provided. Apply to Bernie Sanders, he'll get it from someone, uh somewhere.

Note, the "shore" has trace amounts of Meldonium from when Brooklyn actually had industry.

vsk

NHcycler said...


Very Slim Pickens typed:

"La Grand Criterium du Gowanus Canal:
...Cyclists are advised to procure life and health insurance..."

Should that be insurance Specialized, or just plain special? I don't want to be left holding the milk bag.

Roille Figners said...

Meldonium! Meldonium! What make your big head so hard?

Regular guy said...

So how are they going to know when it is evening? Sun's up nearly 24 a day there around that time of year.

Regular guy said...

There's a good reason Sharapova is one of the worlds most visible sports figures, she's hot. Vorganov is not.

Wasn't there a post some time ago with a photo of what looked like a Lilliputian riding a bike, that might have been a somewhat short person riding a 36" wheeler?

More Sharapova bust!

Dooth said...

Meldonium make you wanna just... make sweet love to Sharapova...

Anonymous said...

It bothers me those guys were riding my local MTB spot as poorly as they did. This new "I'm not a robot" verification things is the bee's knees.

dancesonpedals said...

The advantage of cycling in Antarctica, is that an ostrich will never try to kick your ass while you're riding.

Cold Feet said...

March of the Frozen Freds.

Ace said...

I tell you, with the match fixing, and now with the preformance enhancing drugs, that game of tennis is quite the racket.

Lob said...

Ok Ace, you're over the line with that one. I'll see you in court.

BamaPhred said...

I've often dreamed of having a 36'er, but how would you carry the thing around? If you know what I mean, and I think you do! Shoulder carry? Portaging it along beside you? Around your waist? Nobody would ask twice about your "spare tire".

JLRB said...

BamaPhred - I find a side car is the best method.

Faultless said...

If you you were to have one of those mesh things that are strung across a tennis court and it was autographed by Serena Williams, what would be the net worth?

Unknown said...

"Luxury hardship and prepackaged accomplishment", well said.

Simon. said...

I notice the word "crevasse" is nowhere to be found on the Antarctic expedition site.

McFly said...

If Dick Pound were still the WADA Czar he would get to the bottom of the Sharipova situation.

P. Bateman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
P. Bateman said...

Sharapova (pronounced: sha-RAH-po-VAH) could beat me 40-0 and I'd still luv her.

The ghost of Bud Collins said...

She can't beat you 40-0, because the game wouldn't be over

The Ghost of Bobby Riggs said...

Bud!? You died? Come on over; we will have a few beers and I'll show you around the place.

If the Glove Don't Fit You Must Aquit said...

Trump 418: "Meldonium is my wife. If you use her name again you will pay a price."

PS: And I'll call you nasty names on Twitter.

Ghost of Tom Joad said...

Wherever there's a doper...I'll be there.

JLRB said...

I think I will start a kickstarter for people to fund me on one of these overpriced adventures - All I need to do is promise to attach a scranus-cam and I'll be sure to raise the necessary funds

Anonymous said...

Snob. Have you seen these tandem nutjobs?
http://www.pinkbike.com/news/hold-on-and-close-your-eyes-video-2016.html
You should get one. I am sure your seventeen children would love to see you flailing around on something like this.

David Folch said...

Thanks for the shout out. Just to be clear: the riders you see in the pics with the DirtySixer bikes are respectively 6'6", 6'10" and 6'8".

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