Thursday, November 13, 2014

Smart Hat, Dumb Idea

When it comes to hating cyclists, there's only one country on the planet that rivals the United States.  Don't know who it is?  I'll give you three hints: they've got a nationwide mandatory helment law, they're most commonly associated with marsupials, and their most valuable cultural export is the work of Yahoo Serious.

That's right, I'm talking about Australia, a.k.a. "The Land Frumunda."

Indeed, I'd argue that when it comes to oppressing cyclists Australia is number one, thanks mostly to the fact that it's only one of two countries in the entire world (the other being New Zealand) that forces all adult cyclists to wear foam hats.  So if any country is going to take the next (il)logical step and institute mandatory bicycle licensing and registration, it's bound to be our cyclist-hating cousins in the southern hemisphere.

And now they're one step closer, thanks to the "Smart Hat:"


To paraphrase Australia's second-most valuable cultural export, this is not a helment:




This is a helment:


There's a lot of dumb shit in this world, but it's rare that you're presented with something so sublimely moronic that it borders on art.  Of course, you wouldn't expect much from an Australian designer--indeed the very term "Australian designer" holds about as much promise as "kosher wine" or "triathlete bike-handling skills."  Still, there's an odd elegance to the underlying concept here, which is basically this:

Let's turn people's heads into cars.

And yes, in case you're wondering, it does have a windshield wiper:


If you're a New Yorker old enough to remember squeegee men, just imagine a dystopian future in which they come back and ply their trade on Smart Hat-wearing cyclists.  Worst of all, you couldn't even run the light to escape them, because traffic cameras would photograph the license plate on the back of your head.

"So what's wrong with my old-fashioned helment?," you may be wondering.  Well, here's your answer:

Existing helmets afford little protection to the cyclist in a collision and are not designed to the same standard as other motor vehicle helmets.

Existing cycle helmets do not address any technical issues of integrating modern, electronic safety devices, data, or even standard road use indicators that are compulsory on all road registered vehicles, namely: illuminated front and rear turn indicators, brake lights, rear running lights, head light of appropriate brightness to other road users or rear view mirrors.

What, no back-up camera?

Also:

Apart from safety considerations, it is desirable to be able to identify cyclists to make them accountable for their behavior in a similar way to drivers of motor vehicles.

Oh, so you mean "not at all?"

Of course not, because everybody knows it's the cyclists causing all the trouble out there, hence the need to clamp this sci-fi nightmare onto our heads:

Ideally, cyclists would be registered.  Before now, there has been no system available, which is readily adaptable and practical for cyclists in this regard.  It is the object of this product concept to attempt to rectify at least some of the deficiencies of existing practices in conjunction with regulatory authorities and associated organisations.

Naturally, it occurred to me that this whole "Smart Hat" thing might very well be a hoax, but apparently the guy who designed it has presented it to a local government:


And yes, the local government is totally into it--which, if this is a hoax, is totally awesome:

The concept has the backing of Mosman councillor Simon Menzies who said it would also provide a solution for commuter cyclists to be registered and able to showcase their registration number.

“People who use it as a mode of transport should be registered and insured,” Cr Menzies said.

“Every other road user pays for registration and it should not be any different.”

Really, "every other road user pays for registration?"  Pedestrians use the road.  DO THE PEDESTRIANS PAY FOR REGISTRATION?  DO THEY???

Actually, probably best not to point that out, lest they make pedestrians clamp on the "Smart Hat" too.

Anyway, the whole thing is so offensively idiotic that even the guy who came up with the idea is afraid to be associated with it:

But Mr King acknowledged the proposal was controversial, saying he would prefer to keep his name out of the public eye in case of any backlash from cyclists against the idea of compulsory registration.

Oh would you now, designer Toby King?

He seems oddly concerned with privacy for a man whose come up with an electronic hat that tracks cyclists.

Maybe it is a hoax.

I hope it's a hoax.

Meanwhile, commenter CommieCanuk shared this video yesterday, which indicates that aging daredevil Lucas Brunelle has moved on to the "running into shit on purpose" phase of his career:



Yes, when it's raining and and you're approaching an intersection while riding in the shoulder, what you want to do is maintain a high rate of speed and ignore the van with its blinker on:


By the way, I'm pretty sure he told the driver "that was good," which leads me to suspect that Brunelle is less a would-be daredevil and more just a good old-fashioned masochist.

I'm also pretty sure he's the inspiration behind the "Smart Hat," which would explain a lot:


(Brunelle in his "Smart Hat" prototype.)

Hey, up in Canada they'll call you a "weirdo" for that:


Silly Canadians.  Don't you know you're all weirdos?

Lastly, remember that Groucho Marx folding "bike" from yesterday?  Yep, it's fully funded already:


Hoax or not, if that Smart Hat goes on Kickstarter it's a shoo-in.

140 comments:

Anonymous said...

PODIUM you Scranus!

herzogone said...

Podium!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Front Group Finish.

RB1 said...

chain drop

RANTWICK said...

Top Ten! Plus video of mine! Thanks Snob! What a great day in my shallow Online life.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I thought their most valuable cultural export was that Crocodile Dundee guy and his big knife?

JLRB said...

Top [read my ranking on the back of my helment]

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Sorry, just had to read a little farther.

Christo said...

Oh snob, you've made me sad with this smarting-helment guff frumunda.

At least the 'newspaper' with the article is the 'terrograph' so should not be taken seriously.

Anonymous said...

shrinking revenue from gas tax is probably the secret driving force behind the "smart hat". Teh Man needs his $ and can't have scofflaw cyclists using the roads for "free" .

JLRB said...

it's a chiropracter's wet dream - think of all the neck injuries from beikcycling around with all that sheet on your head.

leroy said...

My dog wants to borrow my credit card to invest in the Smart Hat.

He says he can sync the Smart Hat to a Smart Phone so you can play Angry Birds on an indoor trainer for a simulated Aussie riding experience.

I don't mean to brag, but he says I'd be perfect to test the prototype while he throws cans of Fosters at me.

(Cue Ass Hat joke in 3,2,1 ....)

Anonymous said...

Don't know about Australia, but among the best things to ever come out of Canada are SCTV and The Kings.
This Beat Goes On.......

Anonymous said...

Fort Lee, NJ Cops seem to hate drivers, or they need funding for something

http://7online.com/traffic/nj-drivers-who-didnt-stop-for-donald-duck-upset-over-tickets/385500/

Spokey said...

top 20 ish

Anonymous said...

FRUM UNDA

il Pirata est Mort said...

I have applied for helment plate No. F-U 666.

mikeweb said...

Brunelle is aging?? He's like 43 years old. Granted, he looks like he's about 58, but still...

Spokey said...

Actually, probably best not to point that out, lest they make pedestrians clamp on the "Smart Hat" too.

fuck 'em. if I have to wear a stupid hat, so do they. hopefully i can wear the same one on or off my bike.

or will i have to portage a ped hat? and do i have to switch hats before or after swinging my leg over the rear wheel while de-biking.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

That silly hat is a joke. Even if it was meant seriously.

I've never been to Awlstralia do the cops really chase you down and give you a ticket for no styrofoam hat? Or is more like the seat belt thing here in the states where you have to be commiting various other infractions at the time to score the helment citation?

McFly said...

Side indicator units?
Wiper system?
Shock absorbing impact bar?
Camera and LED light?

Those are all standard options on the 2014 Kim K Fat Ass.

Hee Haw the Barista said...

Please don't also make me wear a license plate on a rainbow wig!

Flyover BC said...

The bike hat won't need a license plate. The Aussies are going to first require that everyone get an implantable chip that sends traffic violations directly to your smart phone whenever you exceed the speed limit, run a light, or fail to register yourself as bike user.

The lefties will support it because they want to relieve everyone of their filthy money thru fees and fines and make sure there are no free-riding libertarians in the world. The right wingers will support it because they can make money producing the tracking products.

It's a win-win for everyone, except the individual.

Flyover BC said...

The bike hat won't need a license plate. The Aussies are going to first require that everyone get an implantable chip that sends traffic violations directly to your smart phone whenever you exceed the speed limit, run a light, or fail to register yourself as bike user.

The lefties will support it because they want to relieve everyone of their filthy money thru fees and fines and make sure there are no free-riding libertarians in the world. The right wingers will support it because they can make money producing the tracking products.

It's a win-win for everyone, except the individual.

Anonymous said...

McFly, 12:36, COD.

Anonymous said...

I would rather take my chances with the 1984 rat cage helment.

http://movieclips.com/oK5M-1984-movie-obrien-tortures-winston/

Did someone say lunch time?

Bryan said...

Just how much would a cyclist have to pay for the dumb hat, and the registration? And then, everyone would like totally match, and that would be dumb. Just go back to letting kangaroos kick you in the head.

Spokey said...

RCT @ 12:36 PM

the hemorrhoids changed that. now you can get cited for just the seatbelt.

Spokey said...

Flyover BC
Flyover BC

dcee604 said...

Way to go Rantwick! Stay weird!

Anonymous said...

Nice freak-out today, Snobby. Intense but with shades of subtlety like a fine red whine.

cycle

RANTWICK said...

@dcee604 - Not a problem. Thanks!

trama said...

WCRM,
If indeed the Samrt hat is not a hoax, it won't be long before the Australian government sees to it pedestrians are similarly registered and protected at the same time. Because drop bears are real. They are very real.

DROP BEAR

Weird Up! said...

Keep Rantwick Weird!

Comment deleted said...

Australian asshat invents the Smart Hat. (Better late than never, Leroy).

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Every user of the road should be registered ... bla bla bla.
So does that mean congressional... I mean Parlementarian Florsheims have to be registered? Will there be fines issued for using gravel shoes on pavement?

The die A gram for the helment has a reference to an "eTag"... gee what rights to any privacy could be violated with that thingy? Maybe it's for their version of EZ Pass? Road use tax?

If that helment becomes mandatory "down there" I suggest it's OK for some Blackwater operation to rid the country of it. Helementary Regime change.

vsk

Don Drake said...

Those Fort Lee police had better pay a licensing fee to Disney for that public performance of Donald Duck.

ce said...

Fuck it, I'm leasing a Holden ute.

Anonymous said...

This hat is likely going to cost more than nearly any the bikes people ride to commute. Just a quick ball park figure, but I wouldn't be surprised if it might cost north of three grand.

That will put an end to bikes being an inexpensive way to get around town.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Rantwick:

Stay weird!

(Or as my dog advises when coming in from the rain: "I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. I shake it off. I shake it off.")

Go! Spartans! said...

Where can I buy the shared-use Spartacus Oz-Helment?



Anonymous said...

How about adding lasers to the smart helment. Lasers are always cool. Geez. Or maybe Scranus.

ce said...

At least if the dystopian future cops have to wear Judge Dredd helmets, then we'll all look equally retarded.

balls™ said...

Actually, I think it's logical for cyclists to pay a registration to cover the cost of wear and tear on the road system equal to the wear and tear your average bicycling cycle does to the road. I think that should come out to roughly $0.00USD per year.

Well, slightly higher for triathletes. All those goo packs don't pick themselves up.

Freddy Murcks said...

To summarize today's post (minus all the snide, funny stuff): That smart hat is fucking stupid and offensive and Doucheass Brunelle is a fucktard whose elaborate and kludgy helment-cam system served as the inspiration for the smart hat. The sooner both disappear, the better off we will be.

Freddy Murcks said...

McFly - Why did you have to bring Kim K into this? I hate her and her stupid fat ass. Up to this point, this blog has been a Kim K-free refuge in a world awash with Kardashians. Now she and her stupid fat ass have invaded this dark corner of the internet too. Dammit!

Spokey said...

balls

we already do. that canard about motor vehicle users paying for the roads with their gas tax is bullshit. gas tax funds about 30% of highway expenditures.

cars are getting away easy. double the registration of anything over 4,000 lbs.

And while I'm on a roll, start taxing on pollution per mile instead of regulating parts per million. if that means i have to pay extra flatulence tax while pedaling, so be it. I'm figuring that'll come to 199 dong or so.


Vernal Magina said...

I had a case of the Menzies once...

It wasn't pleasant; I'd rather not talk about.

balls™ said...

Spokey,

...and, start charging gas tax as a % instead of a flat amount per gallon. Of course, they should've done that $2/gallon ago.

Spend some of that money reminding people that the roads are part of the tax-supported socialist system and NOT supported entirely by gas tax and vehicle registration. Also, bikes are allowed on roads.

(wow. That was boring)

Speedo guy said...

Yes, we are all weirdos.

I shoulda had a V-8 (or 12) said...

Rantwick - Your camera is a little off kilter - I felt like leaning my head a little to the right would straighten it out but it didn't. Weird.

Billy said...

mikeweb @ 12:33 PM,

I'm only 32 and I'm too old for that shit. Brunelle is way too old to be riding like a jackass that thinks he's invincible. He should have learned better by now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqBNSMbEzI0

Olle Nilsson said...

Rantwick, you should have proved to her you're a full fledged weirdo, dropped back and started filming her.

My neck is sore just looking at that helment. Wonder if you can get a doctor's note to exempt yourself from being smart-hatted.

Drock said...

I will buy 10 blue jerseys if you get them out by Xmas, only kidding I need just one but please make it in blue, and how about a feel good story tomorrow, all this cycling oppression brings me down, and as always down the middle

CommieCanuck said...

That Smart hat will not sell well in the US, if you want to turn someone's head into a car, you better have holders for a bucket of KFC and a 32oz Slurpeee.

Nom, nom nom, nom.

1904 Cadardi said...

"Existing helmets afford little protection to the cyclist in a collision and are not designed to the same standard as other motor vehicle helmets."

Brilliant! Make everyone in cars, drivers AND passengers, wear Motor Vehicle Helments!

CommieCanuck said...

I hate her and her stupid fat ass. Up to this point, this blog has been a Kim K-free refuge in a world awash with Kardashians. Now she and her stupid fat ass have invaded this dark corner of the internet too. Dammit!

I had to look up who this person was, and why she is famous. Turns out there is no go reason for her to be famous, with the possible exception of dat fine ass.

CommieCanuck said...

I like the hat, personalized license plates a could be used in place of knuckle tats, for the squeamish.

DC
OA
ON
SO
HE

Anonymous said...

That Impossible Kickstarter has basically no backers under under $430...

mikeweb said...

And Billy, to have 40 some odd years and thousands of pedaling miles under ones belt and not have figured out how to not end up on the deck unnecessarily (or not put pedestrians with the right of way onto it) seems sad. Or idiotic. Or both, if that's possible.

CommieCanuck said...

This is picture we're talking about, right?

Freddy Murcks said...

CC - I am not sure if that picture was safe for work or safe for human consumption. I already cringe every time I see Kim K, butt that's going to give me nightmares.

Kanye West said...

"...her stupid fat ass..."

And just how does one determine if this one is more or less stupid than any other?

Anonymous said...

Great idea. Everyone has a number and is registered by the government. What could go wrong?

cycle

RANTWICK said...

Thanks all who told me to stay weird. Done. As for the tilted cam action, it can be tough to keep it dead level, but you're right, that was a bad one.

JLRB said...

What, no criticism of the Fred-Helment dude's beikcycle set up?

RANTWICK said...

@bieks My helment just has one little camera on top. Even that takes a little getting used to. I can't imagine what that shitload of stuff on Brunelle's does. No thanks.

Spokey said...

i'm with freddy on this one. This stuff is getting way out of line.

kanye -

when was the last time you had an intelligent conversation with any of the miscellaneous holes in that thing? not counting the ass grubs of course

Freddy Murcks said...

Dear Kanye - I did not mean to imply that Kim's ass is literally stupid. It's more of a figure of speech intended to indicate that I really don't like her or her ass. I know that you totally dig her, butt to each their own.

Kanye West said...

”…an intelligent conversation...”

What is
an intelligent
conversation ?


(Robot trap says 714. Is that:
a) Career home runs Babe Ruth hit?
b) Joe Friday’s badge number?
c) Number on a Lemon Pharmaceutical Corporation Quaalude?)

Anonymous said...

"group ride gone bad " finish - minus the van collision

wle

greg biché said...

i too hope that it's a hoax

Mad Dog Morgan said...

I'd say we deport motherfucking Brunelle to Oz but the nation that brought us the Bee Gees and feedtime deserve better than that...

let's just hope this witless sack of shit doesn't go back on the bike next time.



Dooth said...

I love love love Kanye and Kim...not like a fan would--I want to have SEX with them. Who's with me?!

Evonne Goolagong said...

Just oil it and put some blinkers and shit on this and then we'll talk.

Anonymous said...

Snob:
I'm thinking your next book should be greatest hits from the commentary.

Dave said...

Just another step on our long dismal march to the Human Centipede stage of civilization.

Anonymous said...

Some clarifications are necessary to facilitate an enhanced appreciation of today's Snobby post.

1) there's actually three countries in the world with mandatory helmet law: Aust, NZ and of course the United Arab Emirates.

2) Yahoo Serious and that crocodile dick are much more popular in foreign countries that aren't Australia than they are here. Like that other crocodile dick who got punctured by a stingray, they're virtual unknowns in Australia.

3) the " you wouldn't expect much from an Australian designer" quip could be said of any nation's designers, but it should be noted Marc Newson (or Newsom or Nuisance or something) is a much lauded Australian designer who quite recently hooked up with that Jony Ive fellow at Apple where they hang out being cool designers together and shit.

4) Australia is renowned for its wine. Has been for decades. If however, by "kosher wine" you mean religiously sanctified wine; bugger off. Keep religion outta stuff.


5) it's not a hoax. As much as it pains me to admit it, it needs to be said; it is not a fucking hoax! How could this happen? The first thing you need to understand is that the Mosman council area is inhabited by trophy wives and retired corrupt businessmen. The idle rich. They latch on to crap like this because they need something novel to fill their empty lives with and they've been exposed to such perversity and transgression over the years they've become incapable of recognising how thoroughly preposterous this stupid hat is.

6) Toby King will be flushed out and publicly humiliated; stay tuned...

Olle Nilsson said...

I'm pretty sure the smarthat will come in at a pricepoint comparable to leasing a Hyundai. Factor in the standard A/C (on the car) and it's really no contest in the land of Oz.

semi serious cyclist said...

"when it's raining and and you're approaching an intersection while riding in the shoulder, what you want to do is maintain a high rate of speed and ignore the van with its blinker on." apparently, Brunelle is not only a tool, he's a fool. speaking from personal experience too, so no fault for calling it out - Aggro in the rain usually ends poorly.

Store runs on an upright, Lucas. Riders as fit as he is should still be able to pull the mid 20s on a Schwinn beach cruiser.

McFly said...

I apologize for so callously feeding the frenzy without calculating the consequences and repercussions.

Instead of wedging her butt into our dark corner we should be wedging things into the dark corner of her butt.

I regret nothing.

Anonymous said...

I think the SmartHat can be callaboed by fusing a Giro helment with Google Glasses and a Fly6.

Anonymous said...

I regret my comment being under McFly's latest.

Toby King said...

I regret my threesome with McFly and Hee Haw the Barista.

Spokey said...

I think McFly has lost it. Apparently his brain has declared war due to this crim carpathian nonsense

I apologize for so callously
   .   .   .
I regret nothing.

If I may be so bold as recommend a good mental health healer? I think dr babble has hours this evening. If not, the mutt always has some sage advice such as sugars owhonom

wishiwasmerckx said...

I don't think that the wiper part wipes the helmet at all, if you catch my drift.

It is also regrettable that they elected Simon Menses, named after uterine discharge during menstruation.

Comment deleted said...

Yes, Bruce Gleet was the clear candidate of choice.

88 said...

Piano keys

Anonymous said...

Conveniently, we still have squeegee men in Melbourne for spit and polish service.

Spokey said...

JLRB or dop probably thinkin right now that they can sneak in for the century.

probably right. gotta get goin on dinner soon.

little do they know that the podi prize for today's century is a smartyhat

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

You have to be making this shit up!
I'm waiting for the Smarthat to be available with huge tailfins

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--9lTpw-hF--/18d7x4hkzbnuhjpg.jpg

Only then will I wear one!

92 said...

tip toe

93 said...

and carry a big azz hat

94 said...

while spokey cooks

Olle Nilsson said...

94 asshats

Olle Nilsson said...

Or 96 (97?)

95 said...

creeping towards the line

96 said...

wants a precious hatz

JLRB said...

guessing 100 with bieks in the mix

Spokey said...

got 'em

Spokey said...

sorry jlrb, you miscounted there

JLRB said...

well done you sneaky chef - don't burn the casserole

Spokey said...



oh, and speaksy of hatz. finally gots me hatz. came by way of oz.

was tested and found incompatible brolyslt with a smarty hatz.

actually had just returned here after starting off a loafy of bread for the morrow

now for the real meal

Wooderson said...

That's what I love about these high stupid ideas, man. I get older, they stay just as stupid.

Spokey said...

as can be seen in the well known product stupidity index, the products do not remain just as stupid but rise in stupidity as their target audience stupifies.

Olle Nilsson said...

Yup, 20 year olds will buy anything. I'm pretty sure I'm getting stupider, so takes stupid to know stupid? My stupid-sense is stupendous.

My Smart Hat Hurts said...

@RCT 12:36PM

They swerve across 4 lanes of traffic with sirens blaring and knock you off your bike.

They crash tackle you when you ride slowly home along the footpath with your shopping.

They stake out the only protected bike lanes in Australia and hand out helmet fines.

They ignore cars running red lights whilst drivers text and do sting operation against bareheaded cyclists.

They sometimes arrest you.

People have criminal records for failure to wear a plastic hat.

The bicycle lobby groups encourage the government to increase the fines and for the police to enforce the law even more stringently (if that's possible).

The police LOVE to give out helmet fines - it's low hanging fruit. It's a $153 fine. They get to give out little sermons as well.

The Australian cyclists love their helmet laws and the sanctimonious wankers cheer on the police encouraging them to fine anyone who doesn't fit their helmet centric view with the old canard "don't do the crime if you don't want to do the time".

For fucks sake - it's riding a fucking bicycle, not some type of fucking death defying stunt.

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

Too lazy to hyperlink at this time of night, but just in case you don't have anything to put above the quiz, some easy laughs here:

http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-29508725

Anonymous said...

Oh they will and do chase you down for not wearing your compulsory foam hat. Lights, sirens the lot..

Anonymous said...

Somescranus needs to get on the tweeter and ask Lucas Brunelle why he hasn't upgraded from Betamax to HD? It's hilarious when 20-somethings and younger are always asking him that and he can't come up with a response.

Jangari said...

As an Australian, I fully endorse this ridicule of the Smart Hat. Mandatory helmet laws have been a contentious issue in Australia for decades, and despite the fact that public heath experts from around the world keep coming up with more evidence that MHLs create more health issues by discouraging people from cycling, there's no light at the end of the tunnel.

Being pro-cycling in Australia at the moment is political suicide. Rupert Murdoch's entire country-wide suite of media organisations is hell-bent on getting rid of cyclists altogether, either by tax, registration, ridicule, legislation, or simply by emboldening drivers in running cyclists down. Sydney city council has been copping it pretty badly over the last few years by the Murdoch press over their commitment to cycle lanes and bicycle infrastructure, and the papers won't stop until all those lanes are given right back to cars.

The issue is just so stupid. Every day it seems there's another article in one of Murdoch's tabloid rags talking about how cyclists should be registered, how they are a menace on the roads (one Queensland police officer recently publicly called cyclists 'cockroaches on wheels'), and how there's too many of them, how there's never any of them on the bike paths, and how they're freeloading off the taxpayer, when the direct reverse is true: Australian taxpayers foot the bill by a discrepancy of AU$17 billion for the costs of fuel subsidies and road building and repair.

The anecdotal evidence is that people feel safer cycling in Manhattan than they do in Sydney's CBD. Maybe it's to do with the narrow lanes, lack of bike lanes, and the self-righteous, entitled drivers passing within a hair's width just so they don't lose those valuable 3 seconds before they have to stop at the next traffic lights.

hackneyed sojourn said...

Screw the smart hat-- what this country needs is a saddle that lets you listen to music through your buttocks without having your head up your ass:

http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-29508725

babble on said...

We have our own "Give back the streets to the cars" mayoral candidate hot on the campaign trail, and it's too close to call. Might as well keep the crack pipe burning...

Or just shoot me now.

Anonymous said...

I weep for my country.
P.S. It's actually called the arsehat here.

Unknown said...

Namibia also has a mandatory helmet law.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Man, I feel sorry for you down-underers.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Well it finally happened again. Yesterday I was bikecycle commuting home from work into full on blizzard conditions. It was snowing so hard I couldn't see exactly where I was going and fell off my bike landing squarely on my schnoz. I'm fairly sure it didn't break so that's good. No bleeding from the inside only on the out.

Of course I wasn't wearing a plastic hat. If I was I'm sure it would have pivoted my head back moving the impact point of the blow to my chin/jaw area. Nose tissue gives a bit. Teeth do not.

Not a scratch any where else so consider myself lucky.

Spokey said...

of course the question is why are you commuting in a blizzard. Don't they lease Hyundais in your area?

we got a tiny bit of snow and i'm holing up today. it's nice just sitting here watching the branches blowing around.

Anonymous said...

RCT!
Hope you're okay.
Put some studded snow tires on that thing.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Yeah I asked myself that question. I'll admit it sometimes I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.

dop said...

RCT- you bent freaks are a defiant group...as much shit as most cyclists get for the wearing of the lycra, you guys get double for the funny bikes...but what are you doing in a blizzard? It's hard enough to see you as it is, in spite of jaunty fluorescent pennants

ps tell recumbabe I love her

JLRB said...

Before biking home through freezing rain last night (didn't see that coming) a lady on the elevator at work said, with a thick Eastern European accent "Oh, you are biking?" Innocent enough. Follow up is why I hate Brunell "So are, cyclists supposed to follow the rules for cars or pedestrians? because I see many who don't follow any" and blah blah blah. If she could, she would have strapped that Ozzie Azz helment on me in a heartbeat.

Olle Nilsson said...

Falling distance from nose to ground:

Advantage: 'bents

babble on said...

Yikes. Glad to hear you're alright, RCT. And of course, I get why you commute in a blizzard. After all, I too, am Canadian.

We're all weirdo's, remember?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Low ground-to-nose ratio.

-That's great! Thanks guys.

Spokey said...

dang

Ohio is part of canada now? better call 'lil sis and tell her to get the hell out.

Spokey said...

rct

if you can't stay up, guess it's time to get a trike. besides i hear you even get weird looks from other benters with those babies. otoh i never figured out how those things are portaged.

willard scott said...

not much snow in namibia

Al Roker said...

”not much snow in Namibia”

Willard, you always were a moron is

Anonymous said...

Jaunty fluorescent pennants.
Hilarious.

willard scott said...

Hats off to you Al. If there's that much snow in the south of Namibia, they must still be digging out in the north.

Unknown said...

The designer, Toby, is keen to get feedback. He can be contacted at: smarthatinfo@gmail.com

BEN Namibia said...

A zebra in the snow in Namibia, for your enjoyment. http://www.infowebexplore.com/2011/06/13/photo-gallery-snowfall-in-the-namib-desert-zebra-photographed-in-the-snow/

David Pearce said...

Why does that robot-looking guy in that comprehensive bicycle helmet remind me of nothing so much as the inmate who is humanely, painlessly and quickly executed by Ohio's new Head-Ripping-Off Machine?

Anonymous said...

" Of course, you wouldn't expect much from an Australian designer"

Fuck you, no one in Australia is taking this idea seriously --- why do you need to attack an entire country?

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Petrus Svensson said...

An interesting take on road safety for cyclist. But is it really necessary?

Unknown said...


good articel.. thankyou!
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