Friday, October 17, 2014

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Did you know my Surly Big Dummy, otherwise known as the "Flotilla of Smugness," is over four years old now?

Not that this is especially old for a bicycle, but by cycling media standards it's positively ancient.

Verily, this is a bike that has grown (or, more accurately, aged, since at this point in my life I'm not so much growing as I am slowly dying) with me, going from this:

To this:

To this:

As my human-portaging needs have changed.

I expect that in 20 years it will have evolved even further, and its cockpit will probably be fitted with knives so I can ride through the Zombie Apocalypse, not to mention the pontoons so I can cope with those rising sea levels.

Speaking of aging, it's worth noting that we are much like Brooks saddles: firm and nonconforming in our youth, but yielding more and more over the years, until we finally rot and a die in a rainstorm, leaving only a skeleton behind.  Ah, whither our youthful follies?  Consider this rider:

Blithely riding with his fork on backwards:

There was a time I might have mocked him, but now I merely envy him.  Lennard Zinn has written well over a million words on the phenomenon of "speed wobble" to date, yet Backwards Fork Guy simply rides on without a care in the world.

There's some saying about how ignorance is akin to a blissful state, but I forget how it goes.

Oh, check out these fucked-up pigeons I saw the other day:

They weren't the least bit afraid of me, possibly because it was the day after Thanksgiving so they knew they were safe.  (And yes, Thanksgiving was on Monday, October 13th.  You're probably thinking of American Thanksgiving, the cheap knock-off that's made in China and takes place this year on Thursday, November 27th.)

Lastly, the other day I received the following email:

Just wanted to submit to you the blog entry from my lawyer’s blog about an incident in May where I was hit from behind on Union Ave in Williamsburg. Now that the driver’s car insurance has given me money for a new bike and medical expenses, the driver is suing me for damage to their car.

I meant to post about this story at the beginning of the week, but then I totally forgot about it until I saw it mentioned on Gothamist, because I suck at blogging.  In any case, I apologize for being remiss, and here's what happened:

In May of 2014 cyclist John Roemer, just days before his college graduation, was seriously injured in a bike crash when he was struck from behind while traveling northbound on Union Avenue in Brooklyn. The crash was so violent that it fractured John’s hip, caused multiple internal injuries and put him in the ICU for three days.

The driver’s insurance company quickly acknowledged the crash was the fault of its driver. Within weeks of the crash we recovered the full value of John’s bike. Shortly thereafter her insurance company tendered its full policy limits resolve John’s personal injury claim.

You would think that would be the end. However, she is now dragging him to Small Claims Court in Manhattan where she is suing him for $ 2000.00 for damage to her car as a result of the crash.

Just another example--as though you even needed one--of why New York City is the number one cycling city in America according to a magazine that is based in a suburb of Allentown, PA.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right that's really great, and if you're wrong that's really not, and also you'll see state-of-the-art Fred Glasses.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and watch out for mutant pigeons.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) The wide eyes and erect finger indicate a brilliant idea.  What is it?

--The "Monowalker"
--The "Moonwalker"
--The "Off-Road Handtruck"
--The "Corpse Caddy"

2) Which is not a feature of the "S-bar," according to its inventor?

--"...shifts energy and weight ergonomically and takes many pressures away from the rider and allows faster control reflex for Bicycle control..."
--"A soft rubber pad for the riders shirt is attached to prevent any comfortableness..."
--"...enhanced performance by using a type of perpetual motion..."
--"Weirdly donglike."

("Questo è ciò che ha detto."--Mario Cipollini)

3) " slides smoothly without wobble in a high-precision IGUS self-lubricating plastic bushing in the top cap, even when pulled all the way out."


("Eees-a same size like my thumb."--Mario Cipollini)

4) Basically, Mario Cipollini is drugs.


5) The world's tallest rideable bicycle is the:


6) What is this man doing?

--Miming being trapped in a box
--Playing imaginary basketball
--Attempting to keep the Leaning Tower of Pisa from falling down
--High-fiving Jesus

(Astana general manager Alexander Vinokourov)

7) Basically, Astana is drugs.


***Special "We Haven't Come Very Far, Have We?"--Themed Bonus PSA!***


streepo said...


3G said...

Happy Fred Friday!

last said...


Anonymous said...

Damn captchas

James said...


Dave Broderick said...


trama said...

big dummy lookin good. do a poppa wheelie

Marcel Da Chump said...

Top ten dummy

Anonymous said...


streepo said...

Perfect score!!

Comment deleted said...

The Noisome Stink-horn (Phallus impudicus) exudes a slimy gleet.

Just thought you'd like to know.

10,000 Aches said...

Wow, I think I made the podi

10,000 Aches said...

bobbled it

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Back to Eastern Time Zone scheduling !


crosspalms said...

"Yes, I know I shot you, and I'm sorry about that, but somebody has to pay for the missing bullets and for cleaning up this mess, and it ain't gonna be me."
--Heat-packin' Manhattan woman

JB said...

Anyone can sue anyone. You don't need cause.

The paperwork from the insurance company admitting driver guilt should clear this up pretty quick, no?

the Jimboner said...

The Snobs-Phoner from RONCO!

MrMook said...

How will I fit those state-of-the-art Fred glasses under my helmet straps?


Fred nifacent said...

Aced it...when does the Mensa membership arrive?

Buffalo Bill said...

Wasn't that cop an extra on the mod squad? He looks familiar.

Barry Obola said...

If you like your fork on backwards you can keep your fork on backwards

Anonymous said...

vsk said...

Backwards fork guy was obviously a motor-pace rider longing for a new Coney Island velodrome where Indian and Harley motorcycles would give these guys a draft to beyond old timey woo hoo hoo board track Frederick speed.

Congrats on the aging of Big Dummy. I had a 1968 Buick Electra convertible that was almost as long.

I want to show up in court and heckle rear end woman. What a total douche. She should get rear ended and sued.

The motorist zombie apocalypse is upon us ... weaponized items are a must !

Gonna be really late tonight for the home bound Cat Sixing !


JLRB said...

new pumps that definitely do not suck; they blow!

Excellent writing Skillz

grog said...



The Sun Sets on Cipo said...

Cipo abstained from sex about as much as he abstained from PED's.

JLRB said...

That's not a quiz. Here's a quiz:

Which photo from L'Eroica showcases a half eaten salami sandwich alongside old timey bike parts.

[Hint - it's the 19th pic, er something like that]

JLRB said...

I couldn't understand a word the lady was saying into her Fred glasses - I must be defective

Dave said...

Based on a recent one-week trip to Paris, my shallow and unsubstantiated opinion is that they're far ahead of any American city in the incorporation of cycling into normal city life. For some pics of interesting and bizarre Parisian bikes, see:

Clenbuterol Accept no other Tenderizer said...

Cipo and Alberto Contador were seen dining together, they both had steak.

mikeweb said...

That photo of Astana manager and late night talk show host, Alexander Vinokourov never gets old.

JB said...

vsk typed: "...rear end woman."
I need this superhero, and quickly.

Barry Obola @ 1:45: Ha!

Anonymous said...

That last question a trick question? Isn't that Conan?

mikeweb said...

Was also going to note that guy is obviously riding his motor pacing bike (with a power meter crankset?), but vsk beat me to it.

Some other guy said...

Where, oh where is FotS?

Anonymous said...

New backwards fork guy is the old Diadrant fork guy.

Barry Obola . . . Nice!

Rear End Woman... now I have to search for one of Ms. Babble's especially juicy pix from a cupla months ago.

Did not really know much about the whole motor pace thing until about 2 years ago (sheltered, I know). Like Quinoa (I say "Kwinn O uh" cause I'm sick of seeing it now), you'll see more of it in Gone Girl.

Saw the Dick Power, Drysdale, and other similar era bikes on display at the Rapha Store in the summer. One or 2 had the rear swept fork. So much for toe overlap.

Still Friday.


Serial Retrogrouch said...

...i guess the lesson is, sue before you get sued... no misterniceguy.

aced the test--icle test!


Anonymous said...

hilarity is best enjoyed with well timed coffee sips.


-ken e.

mikeweb said...

vsk, I saw those at Rapha also. At those speeds, toe overlap becomes toe detachment.

leroy said...

Ride safe all!

Anonymous said...

Mike got a bike
Mike rode his bike
Mike died!

The End.

1904 Cadardi said...


Now he can counter-sue for emotional distress for being sued by a clearly guilty motorist. Then if she counter-counter-sues he can counter-counter-counter-sue and...

1904 Cadardi said...

Hey Wildcat,

Now that the Big Dummy is four does that mean it's due for a BikeSnob short term review? (Long term reviews being reserved for bikes at least 10 years old)

Racist fuck said...

Did those glasses round her eyes out?

Anonymous said...

True Mikeweb.

I saw a record breaker at Classic Cycles on Bainbridge Isl., Seattle. Huge chainwheel up front. Great pix of it also on the wall chasing a big Buick (?) I think with a shroud.

I have a 47/48cm Dick Power that I got for some parts from Viscentin Bike Shop in Oyster Bay. Eddie A. from or (something similar saw it and gave me some history on it). Belonged to Lynn Adams, national women's champion from way back. St.Christopher medal is on the head tube. More cool stories.
The down tube has damage but I built it up with period correct parts for the most part and it looks cool. Has been rattle canned silver years ago with red painted nervex lugs. Might be all chrome underneath. The fork is nice but the steerer is really short.


Anonymous said...


You were promised a picture of the giant cock in Gaiole.

Anonymous said...

phoning it in today snob? understandable, I do that pretty much every day here. Might be time to consider a second career? Doggie day care?

CommieCanuck said...

Group of turkeys talking in a coop before Canadian Cranksgiving...

"something's up, Farmer unfriended me on Facebook".

babble on said...

Why, thank you, anonyposter. As impressive as it is, all big and hard like that, I must say I prefer mine sans feathers.

Nevertheless, I would love to go and check it out in person, that and David. And Venice. Mmmm Italy... so many bicycles, so much style.

And heyyyy! It would give me a chance to pop over to Vatican City to check out my future offices!

no hay banda said...

there is no band

Anonymous said...

Find a rear end and .. [yall know the rest by heart]

P. Bateman said...

really hope the lawsuit lady is crushed by a giant bag of Ebolaids.

Snob, you should host a youth and adult bicycle safety class like the 4H. except i guess yours will just be 1BS.

you could fly around from city to city getting us all learnded on bicycle handling, bicycle cleaning and maintenance etc... would be so much fun. or, at least it would put the FU in fun.

just spit balling some ideas for you guy.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:24pm,

Hilarious! Great comment!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

This blog is not worth the cover price.....

babble on said...

Sucks to be you, anonytroll

Anonymous said...

The backwards the Bay Area, it's a thing. I see it a lot riding in and around Oakland. Apparently the walmart staff who assembled these sterling pieces of velocipedic wonder clearly don't RTFM.

McFly said...

I got nothing.

Anonymous said...

Heeeyyy waiiiitaminute. That's not Vino.

I've been duped!

babble on said...

What are you talking about, McFly? You've got it all.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing more sensual than the caress of a woman who wants something from you

McFly said...

The only sueing I have ever done is taking a guy to court for selling me a stolen motorcycle. I won. He filed a motion and the judge moved the date so I raised my hand ( like I was in school) and said "What are we going to figure out then that we can't figure out now?" Gavel slam! You owe McFly $1200.

leroy said...

Anon 3:24 --

You just had to mention doggie day care.

My dog read that and has been doing his Jack Nicholson "A Few Good Men" impression: "You want the poop? You want the poop? You can't handle the poop."

But he says you're welcome to try.

Where do you get your mail?

Hungry Troll said...

I heard the buffet's open.


Anonymous said...

Here is another bike with a reversed fork. In this case it was intentional.

Perhaps in the hipster's embrace of fixie culture, they are trying to re-create the derny's. (the multi rider bikes, used to pace riders on the track, before the availability of scooters to take on the task. They had reversed forks for extra stability.

Olle Nilsson said...

If you want to go as fast as a derny, just by the damn derny already. Plus, the exhaust pipe is behind you. Or to simplify your shopping experience, buy a Kawasaki/Yamaha/Suzuki/Honda/Doucheybrand.

Olle Nilsson said...

Ooh, missed that. Stability? Pretty sure the reversed fork is to tuck 2" (or whatever) closer into the draft of the derny bike. No?

Holy Roller said...

And the Good Lord gave Moses the Ten Commamdmants that basically said, don't fuck sheep or kill people and it seems that we as humans just can't seem to adhere to such a restrictive covenant. However if one rides a bike, then it's hard to be mounting sheep as you pedal,and harder still to kill people, unless you're givin' 'er in a crowded public park where in your mind or on line you're surely to be the winner in some epic gran fondo. Pray now for forgiveness for your sins and give some cash to your local church-like place of feeling good about yourself. Amen.

Holy Roller said...

Commandments... The passion of my faith overcomes the accuracy of my spelling. Praise the Lord.

Web 0.3 said...

Oke, I am save this page (i like). Tanks for you / article

dop said...

anon at 7:53..You couldn't have been duped....I only see one of you..

The 10 condoments?
Mustard, Ketchup, Relish, Horse Radish, Pickles, Chutney, soy sauce, duck sauce, wasabi..

damn...the lord owes us a condoment

Anonymous said...

Ok, it's October.
The heroic, epic, Tuscan Love, Salami, and Vino Fest is over.
Who knew ther was an entire fashion magazine devoted to this, or it has a section for schmucks, and there is a Schwarzwald look?
Not that I looked.

Rafter of Turkeys said...

Pigeon Season

McFly said...

While you loosers sit around yanking your crank tomorrow I will be racing a mountain biking racing event over hill and dale and Canal loop in the LBL. I just finished a hard block of intense training with a root beer float and some milk duds.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

If measured in dog years and if we were required to buy licenses for our bieksycles the big dummy would damn near be eligible for classic vehicle plates.

Good luck Mcfly.

babble on said...

dop- LOL! What about mayo?

Give er, McFly... :) xo

leroy said...

Dear Mr. McFly--

Milk duds in root beer? My dog recommends peanuts in the coca cola.

babble on said...

Huh. Well what do you know? Internet trolls in the UK face prison sentences of up to two years. Looks like there is some justice after all. :)

NYC Tourist said...

Ordered the Coney Island Whitefish last night

Worst. Dinner. EVER.

McFly said...

Oh I had pee nuts in the root beer. The duds were a chaser. It must've worked. Winner winner chicken dinner.

babble on said...

It's all in the nuts.

Good on ya, McFly!

Anonymous said...

Those who make threats online are not trolls, but sick individuals.
Those who take obnoxious commenters to task are trolls.

dop said...

mayo...of course (forehead slap)...add ketchup& it's Russian dressing, mix mayo with relish & it's tartar sauce...the perfect condom-mint for the coney island whitefish

Anonymous said...

I've heard that the whitefish was rubbery on Coney Island.

Constructive Criticism said...

The big dummy dum pictures are unimpressive and fail to show much significant change over thee years. Most of the rest of this post is recycled from the Brooks blog, but I did enjoy the police video with the guy who blames his dead on for not knowing how to safely ride a bike.

You are welcome.

Holy Roller said...

Moses came down from Mt Cyanide with the The Nine Condiments (The Good Lord decided to hold the mayo) downloaded onto a couple of Mac tablets, but His chosen people had been seduced by Babbleon and they so were too busy worshipping her golden calves, so the God Of Love just said 'Screw it'and killed everyone off with a bunch of poisonous snakes. The Bible is a great read, don't you know.

Merlin said...

I want my damned post! Hurry up I am pissed about being last!!!

Anonymous said...


Clearly the backwards fork is not driven by ignorance but it's a tri-dork trying to improve the aero qualities of his frame.

You see, by reversing his forks he has hidden those cumbersom high drag brakes behind the fork/wheels and created a de facto integrated braking system. Unfortunately a certain bike company owns the rights to all such systems and will likely be suing him shortly!

triguy said...

Hey anonymous: I never know which fork to use with your word salad

JB said...

Backwards fork on big box bikes is because they are shipped with the fork backward so the boxes can be that much smaller. The handlebars a shipped "sideways," so there's a 50/50 chance that the cart-getter putting it together gets it right.

Spokey said...

I was in 4-H for years and they never said shit about bikes. There was stuff about growing zinnias, sunflowers, and washing cows but nothing about bicycles.

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