Thursday, July 10, 2014

Ask the local gentry, and they will say it's elementary.

As a semi-professional bike blogger, I read a lot of stupid crap.  (This is including but not limited to my own output.)  Therefore, you'll excuse me if I don't always read things as thoroughly as I should.  For example, yesterday I wrote about that idiotic "bicycle bullies" editorial in the Washington Post, yet somehow I missed the following line:

It’s a $500 fine for a motorist to hit a bicyclist in the District, but some behaviors are so egregious that some drivers might think it’s worth paying the fine.

So I'd like to append the following to my analysis:

Hey Milloy,

Go fuck yourself.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Sure, it's somewhat inelegant, but I'd argue more than warranted given the implications of his statement.  It's not exactly like saying it might be worth shooting at people in hoodies since you're unlikely to be convicted, but it's not all that different either.

As to the gentrification issue he clumsily picked up and then fumbled with for a few sentences before dropping it again because he thinks like he's wearing oven mitts on his brain, I thought about it again yesterday while reading this New York Times Real Estate section story about Bedford-Stuyvesant in Brooklyn, because it shows people of different races running a red light on different machines side by side in perfect harmony:

Feel your heart swell with pride and goodwill as Balloon Guy says, "Let me shield you from oncoming traffic with my inflatable bounty, my brothers."  Meanwhile, Scooter Guy's bicycle helment dangles jauntily behind the leg shield of his scooter as he smiles at Bicycle Guy in his rear-view mirror.  As for Bicycle Guy, he looks aerobically distressed, which leads me to believe that he's motor-pacing behind the scooter and already training for next year's Five Boro Bike Tour:

Meanwhile this pair openly plots their continued takeover of the neighborhood:

The green arrow is my way of reminding myself to point out that delicate script tattoos are the new knuckle tattoos.  Also, even though I wasn't there, I can guess what that woman is saying:

The answer is "Yes," because while Bed-Stuy was once the "Do or Die:"

It's now the "Do or Dine:"

Frankly, I'd feel self-conscious indulging in "molecular gastronomy" at a restaurant whose name is a tongue-in-cheek reference to a past that is systematically being dismantled apartment by apartment, but maybe I just feel like that because I'm old:

(Those who can't do, dine.)

But not too old to "rock out" to some "Fredcore!"

I was alerted to this via The Twitter, and it totally made me want to ride my bike--far, far away, to a place with no computers so I never, ever have to hear it again.

Though I do think NBC Sports should use it as the theme for their Tour de France coverage.

Speaking of Freds, yesterday I took the classic New York City Fred ride over the George Washington Bridge, and as I awaited the arrival of my riding partner for the day I did observe a sight as American as apple pie and drone strikes--a Hemi in the bike lane:

This is the unfortunate side-effect of living in a city that shares a bridge with New Jersey:

(Conspiracy theory: bike lane blockers are hired extras, and the casting is by Mike Judge.)

Studies have shown conclusively that, if you were to do away with the bridge, New York City would experience 45% less traffic and up to 85% less puking in the streets.  Similarly, New Jersey experiences a massive New York City Fred and Tridork influx, especially on weekends when an unbroken procession of riders on aerobars invades the Garden State, streaming across the span like ants on a popsicle stick.  With any luck, perhaps New York and New Jersey will one day reach an agreement to remove the bridge and spare each-other their worst exports.

In the meantime, if you find yourself riding over the George Washington Bridge, my advice to you is to keep moving!  Don't stop, not even for a second, lest you be accosted by one of these Freds or Tridorks, who will invariably ask you for something.  It's like Penn Station in the '80s, except instead of homeless people looking for change it's Crabon Cowboys looking for multitools and pumps.  For example, you may remember my experience on New Year's Day, which inspired this work of art:

(You're welcome, Kenny.)

Well, this time I was forced to stop again to wait for my riding partner, and as I stood there with my saddle bag bloated with tools and my jersey bloated with middle-aged paunch, I knew I was a sitting duck.  Sure enough, it wasn't long before a trim, tanned, and fastidiously depilated rider upon a state of-the-art crabon machine leered covetously at the bounty beneath my Brooks Cambium and requested use of my multitool.  It seemed his flimsy crabon seat tube was having difficulty constraining his flimsy crabon seatpost, and so he was basically sinking as he rode.  Proffering the tool, I watched as he tightened the seatpost clamp, silently longing for the delectable sound of Kracking Krabon, with which I'm intimately familiar from my days as a back-of-the-pack amateur bike racer.  (It's the first thing you hear now after a crash.)

No sooner had I returned the multitool to its pouch than a rider astride a high-end time trial bike stopped and requested a pump.  What is it with people who use aerobars and not carrying a pump?  And who goes on an interstate bike ride without some way to inflate your tires?!?  I was internally stiff but externally compliant as I handed over the one thing that I can't even begin to fathom not carrying.

I'll never fully understand what goes through the mind of a typical New York City Fred as he sets out on a ride, but I suppose it must be something like, "Eh, I'm not going to bring anything with me, there's always some fat guy standing around with a bag of tools."

Lastly, after my Fred ride I did manage to watch a little bit of the Touring of France, and by now we all know what happened:

The Team Sky principal, Sir Dave Brailsford, has insisted he has “no regrets” about not choosing Bradley Wiggins for this year’s Tour de France after Chris Froome was forced to pull out of the race on stage five after his third crash in two days.

If Brailsford has "no regrets" then he must be wearing oven mitts on his brain like Courtland Milloy.


Jasper said...

Early doors

Spokey said...

finally yeller?

Spokey said...

dang have to go for the century again

Anonymous said...

zips up jersey, catching chest hairs. Ouch.

Alias Bob said...

super early for me

Anonymous said...

antipodean top 10?

K-Bo said...

Good Morning!

Unknown said...

top ten maybe sorta, scraniums for everyone!

JLRB said...

A much more civilized posting time - now to read

Spokey said...

bed-stuy is a gateway to portlandia. Peaches went from carroll gardens -> bed stuy -> new haven -> portland.

babble on said...

OMG is that a cartoonified David Byrne video??

Kenny said...

Mr. Snob,

I'm trying to acquire the most absolutely perfectest frame for your masterpiece art which I so love with much ferocity.

And it will hang in my basement so I can admire it always.

Thanks for the shout out! It made my day!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I would like a cartoonified recumbabe video.

JB said...


Marcel Da Chump said...

Douche or Dine

JB said...

Bicycle guy is Alec Baldwin! At least he's not on the sidewalk.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

"dude, where's my neighborhood?"

RoadQueen said...

Top Twenty

Flyover bC said...

Early finish again.

crosspalms said...

Can I borrow your oven mitts for a minute?

David Pearce said...

Courtland Milloy is really a twit, and his column so stupid, esp. with that text you only spotted today!

Great. Another supposedly tongue-in-cheek thought about worth it it might be to run into or over a bicyclist who upsets you. Jerk.

On other hand, really can't compare to THE CRIME YOU PERPETRATED, YOU PERPETRAITOR by including BREAKAWAY in this supposedly elevating-small-talk-to-medium-talk blog.

Ooooooo, I just NEED to take one of those fake guitars and smash it into that omniscient fake electric piano with its CRIMINAL organ noises, so I never, EVER have to hear them again!!!!

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...also too, what's a HEMI? seriously.

Euro Spondee said...

An article that may cheer some up, though it will never happen in the US, way too socialist...

JB said...

Ya think William Fotheringham (Froome screen grab) is from England?

Anonymous said...

"Meanwhile this pair openly plots their continued takeover of the neighborhood"

yeah; that Winona gal do have a great pair and they're making me externally stiff

Anonymous said...

Breakaway intro sounded like rythmic sharting and as far as tools, tubes, patches, does no one else tape a tube and a couple of cartridges to their frame? Sometimes I have two of those kits taped. Multi tool and bear spray in jersey pocket. Of course my usual repair MOP is to call Ms Phred to come get me. I actually have to fix stuff if she isn't available.

babble on said...

Grouch - according to the great Wiki, a Hemi is an internal combustion engine in which the roof of each cylinder's combustion chamber is of hemispherical form.

Forget University. Dunno why I bothered... I learn so much here.

Anonymous said...

McFly: please explain to the city folk what a hemi is.

RoadQueen said...

The grimace on the face of yellow-digital guy scares me. The music scares me, too. I need comforted.


babble on said...

There there... just get on yer bike and everything will be alright. :)

mikeweb said...

Fat guy with a bag of tools.

Also a good description of Brailsford. Except substitute 'team' for 'bag'.

Anonymous said...

Looking at the screen grab of a beat up Froome almost made me long for the days of magic Belgian taping methods, backdated prescriptions, and "healthy" blood levels. What's with these new breed riders withdrawing after a few tumbles. And where is Sir Bradley of Cuntingdon?

dnk said...


Observed some seriously dickish behavior during this morning's bicycling commute. Specifically, at 1st Avenue and 31st Street.

Anyone know that spot? It's not really an intersection -- really, just a pedestrian crosswalk for people to get over to NYU Medical Center.

I was in the bikepath when the light changed. Pedestrians stepped out in the intersection, but no cyclist stopped. Well, I stopped. A few people slowed down, but nobody yielded to pedestrians. There were enough bike commuters out this morning so that a continuous stream of cyclists went through the light until it turned green. There was also a lady in a little motorized wheelchair who couldn't cross b/c of the bicyclists. She actually edged her chair out into the bikelane, but had to pull back when cyclists kept pedaling. One guy just swerved around her.

Now, who were these people? There were CitiBike riders, there was a folding bike, there were the young tattoed on curated machines, there were freds in glorious fredery, and there were middle age commuters (my category). In other words, just about what you'd expect in a random sample of NYC cyclist.

Now, I'm no traffic purist. I run my share of lights, every single day in fact, with all the usual caveats. And I also believe that traffic infrastructure is set up to favor cars (lights not timed for cyclists, etc) and that that's fucked up.

Except you know what? The wrong-infrastructure thing doesn't work here.... This isn't even an "intersection" (for those that don't know it, google map 1st Ave and 31st St). It's just a light that allows pedestrians to cross over to NYU's hospital. And today enough cyclists kept running the light for an entire light cycle so that no one could get across, including someone in a wheelchair.

Not trying to make excuses for Scott Simon or for that idiot Millroy, but I think what I saw today fuels some of the anti-cycling stupidity....

Wish I didn't see it.

RoadQueen said...

Roadie Meets Recumbent

This is almost as bad as the music video in terms of format, but I thought it was pretty funny.

PBJoe said...

Keep standing around the GWB with all of the APPROPRIATE gear for riding and you'll have to change your name to Wildcat SAG Machine.

I'm amazed at how much traction thoroughly impractical "rules" from one stupid website have gained inside of the Fred community. Although I'm not THAT surprised considering the level they are convinced that they need to spend $8000 in order to save 200 grams, me i just make sure I poop before I ride. Much cheaper.

Anonymous said...

Hemi....I thought you said SEMI!

That changes everything.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...babs, that says nothing to me... perhaps i have mits on today.

commentatorbot_902q374 said...

Once upon a time, in some rare boutique production car 50 years ago, Hemi pistons probably did something. But, in production it was a joke and still is.

Old dudes who don't know any better still believe it does something. In other words, Marketing.

I'm mystified why people aren't riding with pumps? If not having a pump isn't the best way to ruin a ride, then I don't know what is.

Snobby, you've got to name and shame these pumpless crabon geniuses. Photo required.

mikeweb said...


I know the crosswalk you're speaking of. I have also seen the behavior you speak of at many crosswalks and I agree that it's very aggravating.

A few times I've engaged other riders in a friendly way about said behavior. One of those times the rider didn't take kindly to this and things escalated into a rolling shouting match.

leroy said...

My dog read today's post, turned to me, and said he wished he thought of that line about oven mitts on the brain.

But he might just be trying to distract me from the fact that he still has my credit card after registering us for Fat Cyclist's 100 Miles of Nowhere ride.

babble on said...

dnk - I call people out on that, too, and not always in my gentle, indoor voice. Cause the're making us all look bad.

Sorry, Grouch, I've got nothing. But then some days it feels as if my brain lives inside a great big, wolly pair of oven mits, so it's no wonder.

Blog Drafter said...

A Hemi is an automotive Fred Chariot. Certain of the automotive types will pay dearly for the supposed privilege of owning one. The actual benefits are a few more horses under the hood and Big Boy bragging rights.

The TDF is certainly not the same without Sir Bradley cunting it up left and right!

Snob is specializing in regional humor today...

babble on said...

Oooh, how serendipitous! I was thinking of oven mitts on the brain just as you were writing about it, Leroy.

If your dog used your card to register me for that event, too, I would show up with bells on. And a smile. Oh! And probably a bit of lycra, too.

le Correcteur said...

"I was internally stiff but externally compliant as I handed over the one thing that I can't even begin to fathom not carrying."

A gem, as usual; there's almost always at least one per post.

Congrats, WCRM! Consistent excellence!

Spokey said...


disagree about the engines. but then i'm an old guy with mitts on his head.

Have had/driven the same model late 60s dodges (almost identical 68/9) with 318 & 440s, there be a big diff.

OTOH do agree with shaming. Snobbie could require a pic to use a tool or pump

Anonymous said...


Yes I see that shit everyday as well (cyclists rolling through crowded crosswalks, against the light). It's annoying because it gives the rest of us a bad name. Problem is, like 75% of cyclists do shit like this so collectively we deserve it. The bottom line is that whether in a car, bike or on two feet, the majority of people are selfish and inconsiderate assholes, particularly here in NYC where everyone is always in such a fucking rush.

leroy said...

dnk -

I too know that crosswalk and I make a point of stopping there if someone is waiting to cross.

My kids were born at that hospital; it's fixed me up a couple of times. But even if it hadn't, it's just bad manners not to stop.

This morning, a person in a motorized wheelchair salmoned toward me in the bike lane near Basketball City. Of course, I gave her the lane. What was I supposed to do? Yell at her about being more careful or she'd wind up in a wheelchair?

The other evening on Second Avenue, I stopped in the bike lane so that a woman wouldn't be stuck in the road waiting to cross to the curb. I put my arms out to let the folks behind me know to stop. Of course, someone rode through self righteously asking what I was doing.

It's a big city. If we all acted like jerks, it would be unlivable. I don't always stop at lights, but I never bomb through them, and I never cut off a pedestrian.

Anonymous said...

Postmodern literary analysis has revealed that Godot was, in fact, waiting for a Hemi.

Anonymous said...

Most Honorable dnk of
July 10, 2014 at 12:15 PM

"Dude" it's crazy out there.
I normally go home on 2nd Ave from 36th to Christie. Yes, I know peds are stupid (if you knew better wouldn't you ride a bike? I mean Come On! ) however, it's gotten to the point where a few people have apologized to me for CROSSING WITH THE GREEN LIGHT for lobsakes! I tell them, as if they were some sort of assault victim "honey it's not your fault, it's YOUR light now" don't worry.
I stop way back for the red light when it's good judgement. I don't want to be associated with the idiots I am going to pass anyway most times.
Maybe that makes me some sort of a Traffic Uncle Tom. Please don't hate me cause I exercise good judgement. I'm just trying to get to and from work.
Sometimes I miss the cold when I have all the bike infrastructure to meeself.

Shoalin shoalin shoalin, keep them fixies shoalin!
Shoalin shoalin shoalin Low Gear!

Just say to yourself in a Boris Karloff kind of voice "Knuckle Tats", ... it's soothing.

I got a pinch flat yesterday evening in Brooklyn near Whole Foods over by the Gowanus Canal. Gave me pause to look at the cool stormy sky. Of course I got said flat when I moved over to the bike lane where there are these randomly deposited clumps of cement and raised seems from the 3rd street drawbridge, etc. The poor little Vittoria Rubino couldn't handle the force of my bigness against the rim and "pavement" as it were.

[I'm sorry dnk, my response ended with my 2nd quasi paragraph, just rambling now...].

I am the opposite of the interstate Freds in that I carry so much, I need a quadruple up front.

Would be cool to have a WildCatRocky/Roady meetup ride some time. I was not able to travel to most recent Book Related Activities... no current passport and not nuff dollaryeros.

So much for my lunch time.

Good Luck !


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

The 426 Hemi made more HP and torque than any other Mopar factory engine, insurance rates and emission control regulations killed it off in 1972. 426 cu in. 425 hp. 490 torque. Couldn't afford one then, can't afford one now. Back to beiking after an waxing my brain with oven mitts.

dnk said...

mikeweb, leroy, vsk, babble,

Right on.

The to/from work commute is such an essential part of my day. I love seeing more cyclists on the roads, but shit like this only inflames the already piss-poor media coverage.

A couple years ago I somehow got an invite to tell an "urban cyclist's perspective" to the NY Times. For me, the greatest thing about being a worker drone that also owns a bike is that it at least gets me outside for part of the day.

Here is the article. It's fairly lame (it's ridiculously lame), but I hoped it at least conveyed some joy of riding. Apologies that I am too dumb to know how to embed a link:

JLRB said...

So what kind of pump do you carry?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...dnk, you go. link to your article. you are welcome.

...i was only able to do that after removing my brain mitts.

commentatorbot_92734 said...


It wasn't the piston heads. Those displacement specs you posted are the basis of woohoo speeds.

People like/dislike cars for whatever reasons and to each his/her own. Differences make things interesting. blah blah blah..

Hemi is great marketing.

dnk said...

Retrogrouch: thanks!

My brain mitts are un-removable at this point....

Anonymous said...

The sound of cracking carbon must be a lot like when you're eating lobster. The frame should come with delicious juicy lobster meat inside so there's a reward for all your hard work cracking the shell. I could go for some of that right now, but all's I got's these Party Wings.

commentatorbot_92734 said...


I roll with a conventional frame pump of very uncertain vintage tucked behind the seat tube/chainstay. Many bieks don't have the space, but mine does.

Fortunately, my biek isn't crabon, so no warranty voided for adding a frame pump.

I haven't been sued by Sinyard at Specialized about my pump placement... Yet.

1904 Cadardi said...

Years ago two Freds passed me when I dared stop at a stop sign when there were cars crossing the intersection. The Fredtwins blew right through. I would have just shaken my head in disbelief if one of them hadn't yelled at me for stopping. What? You're going to get on my case for obeying traffic laws when doing so is the best way to NOT be killed?

I chased them down and chewed them out. One of them asked "Who made you the safety monitor?" I answered "Me. It's my neighborhood, I ride these roads everyday. If there are cars in the middle of a fucking intersection and you have to swerve around them in order to blow through a stop sign, fucking stop and wait your turn."

My number one rule of cycling: do whatever you have to to not get killed. Sometimes that even means stopping or even obeying the law. Crazy.

So dnk, Babs, leroy, I'm with you.

wishiwasmerckx said...

dnk, it is always dangerous around these parts to shed the cloak of anonymity.

Your stem is the wrong length, your brake lever placement is off, your crankarms have the totally gay sort of cotter pins, etc, etc...

1904 Cadardi said...


Right on.

I have a Silca frame pump with the Campagnolo steel pump head tucked under my top tube. Had to pay extra to get the builder to include the pump peg, but worth it. Frame pumps work well, never run out of air and it's always on the bike so I don't forget it.

Frame-pump mafia bitches!

Serial Retrogrouch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dnk said...

@ wishiwasmerckx,

Yeah but my other bike is a vintage Sting Ray with chopper bars and original banana seat. So sweet I never ride it.

It's like Nigel Tufnel's guitar, you've looked at it enough and you would be able to hear it if I was playing it.

Orestes Munn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
McFly said...

Burn all the bra's.

Anonymous said...

"Fucking stop and wait your turn" -- the solution to almost every Dickhead Behavior situation. I say it under my breath a lot.

There is safety and there is courtesy; they overlap most of the time, though courtesy is usually the higher standard. But ours (Canada's soiled undergarment) is not a culture that highly values either safety or courtesy, so who is gonna teach all these impressionable dipshits out there how to act? Us, I guess.

P. Bateman said...

That thing got a Semi in it?

why yes it does, and thank your wife for noticing.

alpaca lips said...

I have a mini-p&uumlmp. It's a pain in the keister, but it gets me home.

alpaca lips said...

God-durn it! What does a feller have to do around here to make a u-umlaut?

Not only that, but where's mah waitress?

Cleavage said...

Her boobs caught in a Haboob

Anonymous said...

Like this: ü

ü said...


Anonymous said...

alt 129

öld skòôll

CommieCanuck said...


babble on said...

RF - yeah, ok, but how? I do more than just mutter under my breath, and I model good behaviour, and yet in all my years on the road, very little has changed.

Now if I had superman's powers, and not just his legs, well then things would be different.

Except I would never, ever wear those silly tights. I prefer nude.

babble on said...

Commie - yeah, I saw that. She had no idea the car was coming...

MuscleCarSnobNYC said...

"Hemi is great marketing."

Well, regardless to what type of marketing it is or isn't, hemi-spherical cylinder head design solved several manufacturing and geometric problems for mid-compression ratio, low rpm, high displacement engines. There are different cylinder designs that solve the same problems for modern high-compression, high rpm, low displacement engines.

No single cylinder head design is the best for all engine application.

Spokey said...

roille @ 2:41

you forgot the clarified butter in the seattube

Buffalo Bill said...

bianchi10, is that you?

Anonymous said...

I use a Topeak Road Morph pump. It sits nicely along the kitchen sink in my messenger bag.

I might make the Road Rage Pump. Does not pump air but has rebar inside for those special moments when "under the breath" remarks don't have enough... gravitas.


Spokey said...


Topeak. Not sure whether the road or mtn morph. They seem the same. I buy the ones with the gauge and the longer (12-14"?) ones. Wish they still had the snap-in catch instead of the stupid velcro. The clip made it a lot faster to whip your pump out to whack a aggressive dog. Not Leroy's of course. He is much to polite to chase bicycles. Besides that would cut in to his time running up Leroy's credit card.

crosspalms said...

Silca frame pump that I usually leave at home when I commute (bad history of forgetting to take it off the bike when I park and returning to find it gone), and a mini-pump in my pannier along with the spare and tools.

Anonymous said...

All right fine, the Topeak Road Morph is the best, but I keep it in the bag like a dufus.

Babs - I could blabla on my usual theme of the threat of retaliatory violence but I feel like you all hate that so I'll spare ye. Plus arguably that's just playing out the same old Punking Game of the dominant culture and/or not teaching anything.

Modeling the example makes a bigger difference than you think. Maybe nothing changed but maybe you're what's keeping it from getting worse!

It takes courage to stand up to dickheads, but it doesn't have to be something dramatic. For example the woman in the wheelchair in dnk's story, and everyone else, could go right-the-fuck ahead and cross the street just like the light and the full backing of the law declare they can. The stronger among them like me might clothesline some muh-fuggaz. Anyway they would eventually learn. But still it's a risk. People demand total safety and thereby flub this whole thing. People are (trained to be) risk-averse wooooooosies and that might be half the problem. Fighting for principles of liberty democracy and the rule of law does NOT happen in Iraq, it happens right in that fucking crosswalk.

PS Hitler

PPS Godwin

JLRB said...

Interesting - I also carry a Topeak Morph (pretty sure it is mountain - been a while since I bought it)- busted the clip at some point so it rides all cozy in the backpack.

Dooth said...

Marcus Garvey Blvd will eventually become Steve Garvey Blvd.

JLRB said...

On the rude biker topic - I do try my best to set an example - I hate seeing bceikcyclists do stupid shit, and I also hate it when I flame out on some idiot driver that cuts me off, etc., because all it does is make me (and all others on bikes) seem like nut jobs (in my case accurate but they don't need to know it).

I avoid being in others' way and try to think of their view - but I do not stop at every stop sign and red light - the relatively slow speed and full view from a bike seat makes it safe to use discretion. I also snake up through lines of cars, but I get out of their way when they get moving. If cagers gonna hate me for not obeying every car-centric traffic rule they can: (1) obey them all themselves; (2) push their vehicle with their legs; (3) suck my Topeak.

Spokey said...


you can buy the bracket separately

Burning Spear said...

No one remember, old Marcus Garvey
No one remember, old Marcus Garvey
No one remember, old Marcus Gaaarveey!

Dem coolsounds!

What's with all the long comments today? My eyes hurt. Snob's commutes are interesting, others much less so.

I put a Hemi in my Gravel Grinder, SHIT GETS TORN UP!!!

Spokey said...

sprint time coming soon

crosspalms said...


crosspalms said...

Not to be confused with Oven Mitt Romney.

Anonymous said...

92. Let's go Crosspalms.

crosspalms said...

While I flop through the transition area trying to get on my bike, here's another reaction to Milloy.

crosspalms said...

OK, I've got one foot on. Now where'd my other shoe go?

crosspalms said...

Dammit, that was my lucky shoe, too.

crosspalms said...

I'll just wrap strap this pump to the bottom of my foot and keep pedaling.

crosspalms said...

Whoops. Should have used velcro. That was my lucky pump, too.

Anonymous said...

Hemi Power!

crosspalms said...

Well, at least nobody will pass me with all the crap I keep dropping.

Anonymous said...

Aargh, I think I went out too early.

crosspalms said...

Way to go, DB. Illinois represent!

Anonymous said...

Thank you. Thank you very much.
Podium kisses.

crosspalms said...

Champagne? Don't mind if I do. [raises pinky, takes a sip and walks back down road collecting stuff he dropped]

Spokey said...

congrats to DB.

I was frooming today

Boston's Inferiority Complex said...

hello mr rock machine - scroll down:

was this you who booted a citibike?

Olle Nilsson said...

I'm sorry, you were waiting for your what? Your riding partner? Let me guess, you forgot to publicize your BRA today but some guy with a Dutch boat anchor or maybe a Citibike happened to stumble in looking for a book on cat yoga, took pity on you and joined you on the post-BRA ride.

Or are you just trying to gently shatter our image of you as the moody loner - with 17 kids and a wife?

dancesonpedals said...

arrgh--long day at work, late to the much oven mitts, hemi's jersey boys

I am alive today because my friend mark never drove his family's 440 magnum hemi while I was driving my family's 68 GTO...400...if he was in the hemi, I was in the dart...if I had the goat, he was in the rambler...I raced chevelles, grand prix's & monte carlo's..but never the hemi

nice article in
the times dk

I know that 'intersection' behind kips bay apts...I went to school there...happiest memory of my 4 years was driving up 1st ave & a naked lady leaned out to water plants in her window box at the corner of 1st & 32/33

wheelchairs? outside my workplace, they fly down a short hill & anyone in the way has to jump no percentage in complaining

Holy roller said...

There are no oven mitts in Hell. Repent, all you sin against your fellow man when you ride.

Spokey said...


ah, I had a '66 Chevelle. Actually spousies car. Couple a 194 CID 6 with the 2 speed powerglide auto and you had a car that wouldn't go anywhere.

Spousy's father bought it right before we got married. Imagine getting a piece of crap like that and feel obligated to pay for it. I remember going up Mt Washington with that thing. Had it floored and I'd swear it was making 2 mph at best.

McFly said...

Ahhhh the Hemi. I miss the ol girl. We took the Ford Exploder on the Tour of the East Coast and tomorrow we head back. I am sure the big blocks of old were far more powerful but that sumbeech will pull a boat without even kickin out of overdrive and has got some serious boogie for a quad cab. I have had 5 bicycles in the bed and honestly notice no decrease in performance.

dancesonpedals said...

my 1st spousie had a similar old Malibu one watching me race on the belt parkway at rush hour would know they were witnessing a contest of speed

Spokey said...

I have had 5 bicycles in the bed

Ah believe GOD meant the bed to be for one man and one bike.

Spokey said...

has the belt changed? I don't recall ever being able to race on that. More likely from light to light on Northern Blvd. The '67 mustang conv 289 was good for that.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Mini pump fits fine in one of the empty slots on the flare holster.

BamaPhred said...

Either the Snob is beginning to resemble a Belgian bike mechanic or The Dog sneaked a flyer on Snob's jersey that says "Will Service You For Free" Could explain the loner status.

JLRB said...

Road flare or mountin flare?

JLRB said...

Above teh3 fold mention of the bike-car debate in the Washington Puke today. Refers to another article - This one claims to present a balanced perspective, saying we should all get along (KUMBAYA MUGHAFUGHERS), the article, complete with a picture of the "terrorists" lines up at a light, concludes that the solution is Ticket cyclists

You know what? Fuck you to Petula.

JLRB said...

too not to

can't type

Fame, bully for you, chilly for me

dancesonpedals said...

which will come first? the quiz, or Quiznos?

Anonymous said...

Hey Baby, I keep my Topeak in the kuku penthouse . . .


BamaPhred said...

Need something like this to store tools, tubes, patches, except in a pendulous bike bag.

dancesonpedals said...

who will come first...glen, or glenda

dancesonpedals said...

Phred---in the southern hemisphere, I think the right nut is bigger than the left nut

Eben? Or Ebeneezer?

JLRB said...

Diamond Plate Nuts

BamaPhred said...

While we are doing a Kickstarter, we can do both!

Whose coming first? Ken, Barbie, or GI Joe?

Oh, I forgot, she only fakes it with Ken

dancesonpedals said...

-i thought barbie had her eyes on, 'my little pony'

I can eat a large pizza in one bite said...

Where is the confounded bridge

In what could be the latest move toward a 2016 presidential bid, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) offered a wide-ranging critique of President Obama’s domestic and foreign policies.

Speaking to reporters at the National Governors Association on Saturday, Christie labeled Obamacare, the administration’s signature legislation, a “failure on a whole number of levels” and said it should be repealed.

“But has to be repeal and replace with what. It can’t just be about repeal,” Christie told the audience. “What I’ve said before is, what Republicans need to be doing is putting forth alternatives for what should be a better healthcare system.”

Khal said...

"...It's not exactly like saying it might be worth shooting at people in hoodies since you're unlikely to be convicted, but it's not all that different either..."

Spot on. Thanks.

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