Thursday, March 6, 2014

Prop Comedy: Keeping It Up

Further to yesterday's post concerning the Fly6 integrated camera/tail light thing, I mentioned I was having some technical issues.


Sadly, on my way home, the technical issues continued.  Placing the Fly6 on my seatpost, I turned it on.  However, instead of getting the swirly "Knight Rider"-esque light indicating the camera was rolling, I instead got a blinking light indicating I have no idea what.

Now, when I plug the Fly6 into my computer, my computer fails to recognize it.

Looks like I will have to ask the company for some insight, but in the meantime I am reminded of why I hate incorporating electronic gadgetry into my bicycle-cycling.  It's been ten years since I've used so much as a basic cycling computer, partially because they always seem to break, and partially because at this point in my life the only information I really need while riding is the time of day.

I only hope Fly6 doesn't want the camera back for inspection, because there's some embarrassing footage on there that is totally not mine and must be from a friend who looks a little bit like me and who asked to borrow it for a few hours.

Anyway, we shall see if the Fly6 needs to be FlyDeepSixed.

Also, various commenters yesterday had all manner of questions, observations, suggestions, criticisms, and so forth with regard to my traveling bicycle, as pictured here, because we're all bike dorks, and that's what bike dorks do:


Perhaps the most vexing of these comments was one accusing me of using too many locks, which seems like an odd thing to say.  The fact of the matter is that, when I returned to the bicycle, it was still there in toto, which would seem to me to indicate that I used exactly the right number of locks.  Furthermore, barring imminent zombie attack, I really can't envision a situation in which a surfeit of locks would pose any sort of a problem.  By the same logic, I'm also using too many spokes.

Nevertheless, it is true that a determined thief can outfox even the most diligent owner:


And I've learned via the Twitter that the iconic bicycle above has been liberated from the basement of the Alamo and is now on sale via eBay:


As of press time, the current bid is $25,602.00, and I'll be disappointed if it doesn't ultimately go for six figures:


Though already the seller has doubled his investment:

Comes with an autographed photo of Paul Ruebens, a photo of him signing the photo, letter/certificate of authenticity, warner bro plans/spec sheet on the red cargo boxes.  I am the third owner. I bought it in 2010 for $10,000. Selling because my family is getting larger.

Wow.

Sadly, all my money's tied up in bitcoin, but I wonder if he'd sell, separately, the photo of Paul Reubens autographing a photo of Paul Reubens, because that sounds delightfully "meta."

Anyway, twenty-five grand is certainly a bargain for Pee-Wee's bike, especially because you know it has everything: the lion-face loudspeaker, the oil slick, the breakaway handlebar grip...  Moreover, I bet he's continued to upgrade it over the years, and I wonder if it has a "Le-N-Lo," as forwarded by a reader:


The Le-N-Lo is merely the latest in a seemingly endless procession of inventions marketed by men who refuse to take old age lying down--and by "take old age lying down" I mean "get a freaking recumbent already:"



Hey, I can certainly understand not going gentle into that good night, but if you actually need to prop up your body with a telescoping strut in order to finish your ride, then it's probably too late for you to go recumbent, and you may be about to do a full Tom Simpson.  In fact, Tom Simpson would be a great posthumous spokesman for the Le-N-Lo:


I'm sure an English person is going to get upset over this, but I stand by it.

Oh, and lastly--Kim, if you're reading, someone is looking for you:


Kim from Brooklyn - m4w - 37 (Flatiron)
age : 37 body art : tattoos facial hair : beard

We met on the street when you asked me about my pink handle bar grips, and we exchanged numbers. You had an amazing back tattoo of the Virgin Mary and giving you oral sex was always a good time! Remember the first time? That was so much fun! Going down on you was one of my favorite things to do.

I was a bike messenger who used to come visit you and your dog in Brooklyn and it was always comfortable, relaxing, and fun there. We had fun together, I just want to apologize for losing touch with you over the years, and that I always had fun with you!

I'm bummed I lost your email address years ago, I wanted to say hello and tell you why I was all crazy back then. Your dog's name started with an F and you rode a custom built bike, which you always looked good on. (It's true!) [I even remember the color!]

Anyways, who knows if you're even still in NY, but I just wanted to post this because I was thinking about you. (If you have an inkling of who I am, get back at me!)

Just trying to help.


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