BSNYC Fried "A" Fun Quiz!

(Submission by CommieCanuck)

If you're still planning to submit an entry to the BSNYC/RTMS Fat Cyclist Knuckle Tattoo Tribute Contest, please be aware that I am officially setting a deadline of Sunday, August 2nd, and any submission sent after that date will be ineligible for a prize. And speaking of prizes, I am extremely pleased to announce that in addition to the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place prizes already on offer, there is now also a Special Super Deluxe Über Grand Prize. Indeed, it turns out that the good people at Chris King Precision Components are not only fans of Fat Cyclist (they don't really like me, but whatever), but they also work to raise cancer awareness through their "Pretty and Strong" program. As such, they've generously (and totally unsolicitedly) offered to further flavorize the prize bouillabaise with a Chris King bottom bracket in the "Pretty and Strong" pink color:




And a "Pretty and Strong" t-shirt in the "hippo" animalway:

Just imagine the envy mixed with excitement your friends will feel when you insert that shiny pink bottom bracket into your robust bottom bracket junction. For maximum effect be sure to use plenty of lube and install it while wearing the t-shirt without any pants.

So to recap, the prize list for the BSNYC/RTMS Fat Cyclist Knuckle Tattoo Tribute Contest is now officially as follows:

3rd place

A BSNYC/RTMS Lounging Smock

2nd place

A set of Knog Beetle lights

1st place

A Rapha Lion of Flanders t-shirt

Special Super Deluxe Über Grand Prize

A "Pretty and Strong" bottom bracket and t-shirt from Chris King

Thanks for all the great entries so far. I will try to amass them all in a single place for public viewing before announcing the podiumway.

Having presented you with a dizzying array of prizes, I am now presenting you with a dizzying array of questions in the form of a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll probably know, and if you're wrong you'll see an ad for Penny Farthings Pantyhose.

Thanks very much for reading, emailing, and commenting. Ride safe this weekend, have fun, and don't put anything in anybody's flower box unless they specifically ask you to do so.


--BSNYC/RTMS



1) These wooden handlebars are:

--"a one of a kind work of art."
--"not intended for full weight support or to be ridden with."
--"only intended to be used as an aesthetic improvement or for display purposes only."
--All of the above

2) According to Dr. Roger Minkow, the new Specialized Romin saddle has:

--"a wider channel for perineal cooling"

--"an anti-fungal lorica covering"

--"the highest penile blood flow figures of any saddle he's produced to date"

--"taint-tanium rails and a crab-on shell"

3) A fixed-gear "curated" by a "Wednesday weed" enthusiast is likely to feature:

--Flat pedals and no brakes

--A steeply-tilted saddle

--Upside-down handlebars

--All of the above

4) According to the "Homegrown Evolution" blog, the scythe is to the weed wacker:

--"what the fixed gear is to the ten speed"

--"what the tubular is to the clincher"

--"what the friction shifter is to the ergo lever"

--"what the rolling paper is to the bong"

5) This fixed-gear Schwinn Varsity, currently for sale on the San Francisco Craigslist, is:

--"so sick I lube it with NyQuil"

--"murdered out"

--"tight like Kegel"

--$1,400

6) You can now apply your knuckle tattoos with a Campagnolo front derailleur.

--True

--False

7) Why is this man in the bike lane?

--He is about to purchase a bike from a passing bicycle vendor
--He is superstitious and is afraid to walk under scaffolding
--He is superstitious and is afraid to wear socks with his loafers
--He is a doofus





8) Why is this man in the bike lane?

--He's trolling for "flower box"
--He gets better cellphone reception in the bike lane than he does on the sidewalk
--His shorts are too wide for safe sidewalk passage
--He is a doofus

***Special "Do Not Put Anything In My Flower Box" Bonus Question***

"It's schlongtacular!" Where can you see this fully naked man?

--A print ad for Optygen endurance supplement
--A "Bicycling" magazine online feature about outrageous cycling fans at the Tour de France
--Graham Watson's premium "members only" page
--The 9th Avenue protected bike lane in New York, NY