Oh Snap(ping Turtle)!

Yesterday I had a little rendez-vous with the Jones SWB:

Of all the moderate-length rides I keep in my hip pocket this one is perhaps my favorite:

Flat dirt for cruising, some singletrack, a little bucolic scenery...and best of all I don't have to cross any bridges inasmuch as I live in the mainland borough.

I did spend like a month's cellphone bill on two gluten-free brownies and an iced coffee though.

This morning I also headed out on an early morning jaunt through the suburbs upon my new-to-me vintage titanium Fred sled, and I was treated to wildlife sightings including deer:

When I first started riding regularly in Westchester I thought the deer were charming, but after a few months I figured out the things are basically big pests:

I imagine the people who move there from Park Slope because they read New York Times articles about how Hastings-on-Hudson is the new Brooklyn and find the deer beguiling when they drive up for open houses learn even more quickly.  Still, it's kind of fun to see them, even if they do scare the crap out of me sometimes when I'm on my mountain bike, and even if I do imagine I can see the ticks crawling all over them.

Then on the way home I happened upon this snapping turtle:

At first I was hesitant to approach it, thinking it might leap at me like the rabbit in "The Holy Grail," but then I realized if they did that I'd almost certainly have seen some hilarious YouTube videos of it by now.  Still, I did keep a safe distance, and I also refrained from scratching its head and cooing, "That's a good boy."

Finally, when I took a ride on the Ritte Rust Bucket last month, I didn't realize it would be my last:

But now that titanium has entered my life I have decided that it's time for the Ritte to embark upon the next chapter, and so I sent it off to its new home via Bike Flights, which I've had occasion to use twice now, and for which I'll offer an unsolicited plug since I've been very pleased with them.  In fact this time I used their cardboard box, which was very easy to assemble and pack, and I'm assuming the bike arrived in good condition since I haven't heard otherwise from the recipient.

Anyway, I'll let you know all about where the Ritte wound up in due course, but for now let's all join in bidding it adieu.  Here it is taking shape:

And here it is when I first received it:

I know its new curator will restore it to its former beauty--and more likely make it even more lovely than it was.

On The Air

Yesterday morning I made my radio debut and overall I think it went fairly well, all things considered:

Was feeling insecure about how I did on the radio this AM until I read this, now I know I did just fine. pic.twitter.com/l9clLzCX0Y

— Bike Snob NYC (@bikesnobnyc) June 3, 2019

As I mentioned, I had no plans at all to be on the radio until this past Thursday, when the station said, "Do you want a radio show?" and I said, "Yes."  Anyway, if you missed it you can listen now thanks to the miracle of streaming technology; just go to the archives and choose "Bike Snob" from the pull-down menu.  And if you don't have an hour to waste listening to me bloviate, just skip to 11:47, which is when I take a call from an "avid cyclist:"

I'm fairly sure it's the same person who left the comment above.

Of course, the real reason I agreed to do a radio show was that it provides me with a ready-made excuse to take a long ride on a Monday morning, even if that ride is through the heart of the city at rush hour.  If you'd like to see some of the highlights, I shared them on this morning's Bike Forecast:

Not only that, but this morning I ended up cutting a swath through Manhattan yet again, for I headed out early to take a bucolic ride on so-called "River Road" in New Jersey, only to find it closed:

How seriously do I take this? pic.twitter.com/rQnN0382u7

— Bike Snob NYC (@bikesnobnyc) June 4, 2019

River Road is often "closed" and I usually ignore the signs, though I figured I might as well take the "pesticide spraying" warning seriously--even though I suspect it was a ploy like in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" when the government says there's toxic nerve gas in the area in order to deter people from the alien landing sight.  In fact, I highly suspect there was an alien landing this morning on the New Jersey Palisades, and I'm going to start riding with a handlebar-mounted canary so that I can test the veracity of these so-called "pesticide sprayings" in the future.

This time however I just said "fuck it," hopped back on the Greenway, and did a little slingshot around Central Park and back home.

Finally, you may recall that I got a sweet new fixie:

Well, the reason I got it was because Bicycling asked me to write about it in the context of cycling subcultures:

The headline is Bicycling's, and everybody knows the epitome of cycling's rebellion is the recumbent:

(Photo: Grant Petersen)

Otherwise, I stand by it.

New Outside Column, Plus Exciting Announcement!

Firstly, I've got a new column on the Outside web presence, and it's all about how those ultra-loud bicycle horns totally blow:

The other day I managed to get the phrase "rats fucking" onto the virtual pages of that esteemed publication, and this time I worked in the concept of cars that anally electrocute their drivers.  Between that and getting my bike into a museum I couldn't possibly ascend any higher...

...or could I?  Because on Monday--that's this coming Monday, June 3rd, at 10:00am in whatever time zone New York City is in, my RADIO SHOW makes it's debut!

(They really should be wearing their listening helmets.)

Yep, that's right, I'm going to have my very own radio show on WBAI here in New York City, and I assume that even if you're not in New York you'll be able to listen thanks to the miracle of the Internet.  (Also, I think afterwards you'll be able to download it.)  As for how I wound up with a radio show, I'd like to say it's the result of lots of planning on my part.  However, the truth is that WBAI contacted me yesterday and asked me if I wanted to do a radio show, I told them I would, and they said "Great, you start on Monday."  And here we are.

So this blog, a bunch of books, the Outside column, the Bike Forecast, and now the terrestrial airwaves.

All that's left is a Bike Snob handwritten newsletter.  Just send a SASE and wait 6-8 weeks.

New Outside Column!

I have a new column for Outside and it's all about "Bike-Outs," which aren't even a thing:

And yes, "rideouts" are a thing, but "bike-outs" where you go around harassing old people aren't.

As for me, after last week's bout of one-speeding, yesterday I opted for a bicycle with high-volume tires and a wide range of gear ratios:

I also did something I rarely do these days, which was to transport my bicycle to the trail by using THE CAR THE BANK OWNS UNTIL I FINISH PAYING THEM BACK in conjunction with the Saris SuperClamp EX hitch-mounted bicycle rack:

I don't particularly enjoy driving to rides, and the Trails Behind The Mall are so close that it doesn't even really save me much time.  However, I did so simply because my time was limited, the forecast called for thunderstorms at any given moment, and I figured this way I could ride until the skies opened up and then retreat to the car in case of severe weather as opposed to being stuck in a downpour 10 miles from home.  Also, slapping the Saris on the car takes like two minutes,

Of course, as it turned out, it never rained too heavily after all, and riding there and back would have been perfectly fine.  Moreover, the forest canopy provided sufficient shelter from the rain we did receive and the trails stayed reasonably dry the whole time.  Nevertheless, the process of unloading the car afterwards did inspire me to take advantage of this exotic device:

And give the Jones a quick rinse, which is something that rarely happens:

As of July it will be one year with the Jones SWB Complete, and my love for this bike is undiminished.  Moreover, all of the components have held up extremely well under heavy use, and it's one of those rare bikes you can buy relatively cheaply and yet not have to change a thing--except possibly your lifestyle.  In fact, this bike is so capable it almost makes me want to sleep outside.

Almost.

Hey, Wood You Look At That!

Every so often, if you're lucky, you experience a moment in your life where you step outside of yourself, take a look, and think, "Wow, you really made it!"

I'm luckier than most, and my career as a semi-professional bike blogger has been replete with such moments.  Publishing my first book, accidentally fooling the literary world into thinking George Plimpton rode a Trek Y-Foil, and, uh, other stuff too.  But perhaps my greatest accomplishment is having one of my former bicycles on display in an actual museum.

Yes, that's right, you can now see this artifact with your own eyes at the Classic Cycles bicycle museum on Bainbridge Island, WA:

Classic Cycles is just a ferry ride away from Seattle, and I highly recommend visiting if you haven't already.  Also, I will neither confirm or deny that laying hands upon the Renovo will heal your saddle sores, choppy pedal strroke, or other cycling-related maladies, though the curators will gladly let you touch it for $20, which they and I will then split 50/50.

Speaking of curating, note how they've classed up the bike by changing components to complement the woody goodness.  Because here's how it looked under my tenure:

In case you're wondering, the saddle bag contained a bottle of wood glue.

Anyway, go visit Classic Cycles, and tell them I sent you.  Then duck, because they might chuck a water bottle at you if you mention me.

Riding Into The Holiday Weekend!

Hopefully you've got one or both feet out the door already before the holiday weekend (assuming you're down here in Canada's leaky sub-basement where we observe Memorial Day), but if you're me you spend most of your time out the door and only pop back in occasionally to type words into the void that is the World Wide Internet.  For example, after a brief Titanium Fredding relapse yesterday, I once again saddled up my Artisanal Singlespeed from Engin Cycles, only this time I focussed my attention on the Trails Behind The Mall:

Prior to the ride I had also re-tubeless-ized my tires, since out of laziness I'd allowed them to lapse into a tubed state.  See, I'd appropriated the valves from this bike when I tubeless-ized the Jones awhile back, and the other day I finally got around into stopping in a bike shop and getting a new set so I could seal up the rubber on the Engin again.

As a world-renowned semi-professional bike blogger and social media influencer I have been very lucky over the years to have received various pieces of fine cycling equipment that I have neglected to return to the people who sent them to me.  (Wooden bicycles, novelty fixies, that sort of thing.)  Also, between my vaunted status and my many years of bicycle cycling, I have a lot of stuff. Therefore, on the relatively infrequent occasions when I do need to visit a bike shop, I feel like I somehow owe it to them to let them upsell me (which they always try to do), especially if it's a small item.  For example, if I ask for a tube, I'll let them hand me the more expensive name-brand tube instead of the cheaper ones that are clearly visible right next to them.

Still, it did not occur to me that I could be upsold on a pair of tire valves.  (Bear in mind I've never bought tubeless tire valves before so I have no idea what they cost; the Engin was my first tubeless bike and it came fully assembled, and I never bothered to switch any of my other bikes over until the Jones.)  When the person at the shop handed me a package of WTB something-or-others and explained that these were the valves he recommended because they were aluminum and therefore saved weight I tried not to laugh audibly, and I should have known at that moment I was in for it.  Nevertheless, I was shocked to turn the package over and see the price: twenty-eight American fun tickets!  Egads!

Alas, the words "Do you have anything cheaper?" stuck in my throat, and instead I paid for the valves and went on my way.  Only later did I turn to the Internet to see what these things usually go for.  As it turns out, $28 is indeed on the high side (brass ones seem to cost less than half that, but those extra three grams will really slow you down), and for less than that I could have gotten Silca stems with a speed shield:

Mind you, I have no idea what a speed shield is, but if you like to go fast yet need protection obviously this is something you absolutely have to have.  I'll also probably upgrade to their SpeedBalance system, which is a bargain at $36:

I was definitely looking for the "ultimate marginal gains" while shooting sealant into my tires with a syringe like I was basting a turkey.

Anyway, the sticker shock has now subsided, and while I can't say I noticed the reduced weight of the aluminum, they are black, and arguably they're worth it for that alone:

Retail is so confusing, I don't know how you normals do it.

I Went For a Ride Today And You Didn't (Or Maybe You Did For All I Know)

After a long stretch of cold and rain the sun has finally returned and brung some warmth with it.  This meant that it was time to end my lengthy titanium Fredding streak and pivot back to the dirt.  And so this morning I donned my best jorts and headed out into the wilds of suburbia.

First I rode to Sprain Ridge Park, a.k.a "The Trails Behind The Mall," where I saw something that looked like an Instagram post, only it existed in three dimensions and was hanging on the gate:

Amazing how social media keeps evolving.  What will these tech companies think of next?

While my Jones SWB has become my default mixed-terrain rambler, today I felt like riding something lighter, and so I opted for my cherished artisanal singlespeed from Engin:

Like footwear, bikes are seasonal, and I tend to move back to the singlespeed around the time I start wearing flip-flops again.  And yes, you're goddamn right I wear flip-flops.  I mean, I wouldn't wear them to an office building in Midtown, but as a semi-professional bike blogger who's either at or in the vicinity of his home or else fucking off for a bike ride of some kind you're goddamn right I wear them whenever I can get away with it--and there's no more sublime pleasure than riding a bicycle in flip-flops.  (Unless you're using metal toe clips, of course.  Though I'm sure during Peak Fixie somebody got on their NJS special in flip-flops, attempted a skid, and learned the hard way to go back to their indoor soccer shoes.)

Anyway, my ride reminded me once again how fond I am of this particular bicycle, and how smart I was to move to my current neighborhood, from which I can access landscapes like this in a relatively short amount of time:

Frankly, there's no other place within the city limits from which you can attain such a favorable dirt-to-pavement ratio in the course of a 30-mile ride, and I sometimes lament the fact that I wasted some of the best cycling years of my life languishing in Brooklyn for so long.  (Though then again if I hadn't I'd have missed Peak Fixie and all those concomitant skidding mishaps, so I suppose it was all worth it.)

By the way, if you want to know #whatgearingyourunning, the answer is, "I have no idea."

It's been an eternity since I've bothered to change the cog, but I did service the rear hub a few years ago and it's probably a 32x20 or maybe even a 32x21.

As for #whatpressureyourunning, I'm at exactly three (3) stone per cubit.

Oh, and I DIDN'T WEAR A HELMET:

That was a fun visit.