Friday, August 17, 2018

New Outside Column, Same Great Taste!

Good morning from the Jewel of the Willamette!




In fact, between my starting this column and finishing it an Australian tourist in New York City was killed after a livery cab driver pulled into the bike lane in which she was riding, and while I may be a lazy writer that is not the way I like a conclusion to fall into my lap.

Anyway, having fortified myself with a greasy non-artisanal breakfast I will now set forth into the hustle and bustle of this booming metropolis.

Until then,

I remain,

Yada yada,


--Tan Tenovo


32 comments:

wishiwasmerckx said...

Podium?

Watch and Camera Guy said...

Podium?

Unknown said...

Excellent Outside piece.

cyclejerk said...

Foiled again.

Clarkey said...

Great column Snob. You possess a noble wit and never fail to truthfully and accurately defend us cyclists. Keep up the good work!

Tim said...

If you're not already planning to, you should visit the hood around SE 7th and Lincoln. As a longtime reader, I think there's a lot you'd dig. Renovo and Isla Bikes are literally 2 blocks from each other, with a gluten-free brewery/restaurant in the middle. The beer sucks and it's pricey but the food's good. And there's a gluten-free bakery that's legitimately delicious (speaking as gluten eater) just a couple blocks north. If you want good gluten-full beer, Baerlic is just a couple blocks east and pretty tasty.

Pbateman does have a banana in his pocket said...

That fellow on the magazine should really consider a touring style bicycle with panniers and bags. Portaging that many things on your face is soooo not aero.

Having fruit double as a hellmaht is an interesting idea though as that saves critical grams and obviously bananas would be sooooo aero since the air would slip right off.

Some guy from upstate said...

"Using the bike lane as your personal layover zone is basically hitching a ride on a humanitarian aid plane and snacking on the airdrop boxes" is a definite candidate for the analogy hall of fame. Gold, man, gold.

Matt said...

Another great Outside piece Snob! I don't even live in the city, but you make me want to travel there, grab a torch, pick up my pitch-fork and march on the Monsters who park in the bike lane! Who's with me? Lets GO!

HDEB said...

WCRM is right -- if motorists followed laws roads would be far safer. However, I believe in Piaget's theory of moral development which posits that when an individual attains autonomous morality that the individuals actions are guided by their internal morals rather than external laws. I regularly break laws including, stopping my poopbox in bike lanes, ingesting schedule 1 illegal substances, speeding (in a car and on a bicycle) and rolling stop signs. Humans are inherently self-centered and many of us would endanger someone else's life if it conviences us. In practice, I do believe I am very courteous to cyclists but the simple act of driving endangers cyclists/pedestrians. Cars stink -- ride a bike : )

Seattle lone wolf said...

TT, when do we get to learn details of the writing gig that brings you to Portland?

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the age of the self-centred. Those who a generation ago would have followed the rules mow blatantly ignore any which impinge on their desires. Speeding, jaywalking, abandoning cars in clearly marked no park zones now just a regular part of everyday life for once law abiding citizens.

When they kill someone with their selfishness they get a slight reprimand for the "ACCIDENT"!

The streets are a war zone, take care.

A said...

Did you enjoy your Delicious Doughnut? :-)

Chazu said...

Thanks for that.

huskerdont said...

The bike lanes here in DC are used by drivers everywhere you go. If they are protected lanes, drivers will find ways to get inside them. We live in an self-entitled country where voters send their most-self-entitled people to DC to hire more self-entitled people to eff stuff up locally. From what I've seen, it can be bad in Chicago, New York, Philadelphia, and San Francisco, but the people who come here are on a different plane. Actually, I suppose in Philly no one gives a single fruck; they don't care enough to even make a lame excuse.

The saddest thing about the editorial and cycling articles that the Washington Post runs is the comments sections, where someone may have just died and yet people will still make comments like they have no sympathy for them because they saw a cyclist run a stop sign that one time. Articles on pedestrians who get killed have comments blaming the pedestrians as well. Yet these people are completely blind to the utter lawlessness of drivers on the road and the complete lack of enforcement for truly dangerous violations such as speeding and red-light running. Something as "harmless" as parking in a bike lane? DDOT says they issue tickets, but I've never actually seen it happen.

Vision Zero is just empty words until elected officials decide to do something about the lawlessness on the roads. And we need to move to a system where drivers are automatically considered at fault in collisions with pedestrians and cyclists, and the burden of proof is on them to prove otherwise.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Well, if this is turning into a travelogue, whilst in Portland, try the olive oil ice cream at Salt and Straw and the wings and drinking vinegar at Poc Poc.

For ultra-high quality and ultra-rugged clothing, try Filson.

And of course, Rapha's North American HQ is in Portland.

Lastly, Oregon is one of the few states in the US not to impose a sales tax, so go ahead and splurge on that new Rolex you have had your eye on. You will save over a grand by avoiding NYC's 8.875% sales tax.

Adam said...

wishiwasmerckx,

We may not have a sales tax, but as of last year, we now literally have a bike tax. So that's fun...

https://bikeportland.org/2017/07/06/its-official-oregon-now-has-a-15-bike-tax-233967

Pist Off said...

No one has suggested the recreational weed in Oregon? I “heard” it’s legal to buy and use it there. However, unlike Colorado, OR doesn’t give you a free bag o’weed when you move there.

Apparently there’s an actual urban myth about that. So all the best, smartest people are moving to CO.

Anonymous said...

Too bad that shit-hot Outside piece isn't syndicated to 500 MSM outlets or however many there are. Thanks for it, anyway.

Anonymous said...

Do I hear an echo? Yep, that "Outside" article was excellent.

Chazu said...

DC is essentially invaded by suburbanites in automobiles every day. I'm certain that happens in every city, but in DC, it is on a different level. (Don't get me started on the annual "Rolling Thunder" motorcycle invasion...) I don't know if it is because of the pre-automotive L'Enfant design of the city, the sprawl which resulted from the the building height restrictions, the self-entitlement of the motorists, or the transient nature of the city.

I received death threats from suburban motorists while riding in the "Bikes and Buses Only" lane near the convention center. I once tried pointing out the "Bikes and Buses Only" signage and lane markings, but that only served to escalate the situation with a southbound motorist with Virginia plates on his car.

I lived there for the better part of my adult life, I owned a home and started my family just a short bike ride from the White House. The hoards of motorized non-residents, combined with the transient nature of the city are very detrimental to overall quality of life for residents. (most everyone "in" DC is just passing through; whether for their career, their vacation, their business trip, or their day).

The editorial by the woman who chooses to drive between Capital Hill to Dupont Circle every day is living on another planet from the one I'm on. The US Capitol building is three (3) miles from Dupont Circle (an actual traffic circle that was in place before automobiles were invented.) She's raising a kid to believe it is normal to drive three (3) miles IN THE HEART OF A MAJOR CITY. Insanity.

Anonymous said...

Read the bike lane blocker WP editorial, then I looked up her "grueling" commute, it's only 3.7 miles! https://goo.gl/maps/ZHCDC7exNJH2
rofl, get a bike lady (or get a bakfiets and you can pick up your kid in the bike lane), jesus..

Comment deleted said...

Great column, RTMS.

Matt said...

I certainly can't compare my roads (the CA Central Coast) with any big city, but here it's cell phones that are biggest threat that I know of. 20 years ago they didn't exist, and sure there were still inattentive drivers, and WAY more drunk drivers (they've really taken a bit out of that with REAL penalties, including loss of license for the first offense AND around $10,000 in fines and court fees). THAT is how you get people to obey the law: FEAR! FEAR of losing their license and huge hit to your wallet (and you will continue to be hit long after you get your license back w/ increased insurance). It's already against the law here in CA to use your phone NON-hands-free...but I can tell you that's enforced about as much your parking in a bike lane...pretty much non-existent. IF they enforced non-h.f. cell phone usage AND driving/parking in a bike lane for ANY amount of time like they do DUI's, we'd all live in a much safer cycling world! So it obviously CAN be done...but it won't happen sadly. How many MORE have to die to change things? answer: a LOT.

David Suto said...

London had a high profile commuter cyclist death this week too. I'm not sure what the most surprising fact of the BBC article is as I notice the London cyclist death rate is half that of NYC.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-45209846

Anonymous said...

That article: You've found your life's work. Love to see you testify before Congress someday.

Unknown said...

We here in Michigan finally,this year,we're graced with a 3-foot law. At last, I have the perception of safety. Great article, TT.

JLRB said...

Hey, she was doing it for the children! What a classic load of crap. Lazy. Entitled. Ignorant. Ass. Maybe she is new to DC, but if the traffic on her commute from Dupont to Capital Hill is so bad she could go down the escalator next to the M sign and for a modest fee ride a train.

So some bicyclists disobey laws (even the BIG ONES) so she can do whatever the fuck she wants, and choose to push bicycles into the teeth of the automobile traffic.

That is almost irritating enough to trick me into delving into the comments section on WAPO, but life is too short - once you've read the comment section on one bicycle "opinion" piece you've read them all. I just hope someone linked to your Outside piece in the comments, or hand delivered her a copy.

Anonymous said...

Hey, "Truth isn't truth."

Jeffrey Able said...

I fantasize about riding with a ball peen hammer and smashing the mirrors of those who park in the bike lane - but in NYC, I'd be doing more smashing than riding - so I slow, check the road and take my lane.

bad boy of the south said...

Boy,that Rudy G.The gift that keeps on coming.

SoonerNate said...

I know others have already said it, but I am thankful for you BikeSnob. Thank you for using your talents to make the world a better place. God bless you BSNYC.