Hey, Wouldya Look At That, It's Another Outside Column!

And it's no ordinary column, either.  It's a column about how I'm going to undertake a challenge so daunting, so profound, and so un-Fredly that I daresay no other bikey media doofus would ever dare attempt it.  Yes, that's right, for one whole year I'm only going to ride one bike*:

*[With certain exceptions of course, because come on.]

This isn't some gimmick where I'm going to go out and find the perfect do-everything, only-bike-you'll-ever-need bike, either.  (Everybody knows that the whole "only bike you'll ever need" thing is a myth invented by the bike industry to sell people like me their 14th bike anyway.)  Nope, I had to choose an existing bike from among my vast velocipedal holdings, and what I decided to go with was Ol' Piney:

Is this because I think Ol' Piney represents the perfect bicycle?  Certainly not.  This is the perfect bicycle:

However, of all my bikes I suspect Ol' Piney is the one that will allow me to partake in all my currently preferred styles of recreational riding without really missing anything.  Obviously it's got the offroad stuff covered, and with a quick wheel swap I think I'll be covered for the more road-oriented rides too--especially since I'm not exactly getting Lycra-ed up and slotting into any pacelines these days.  Plus, my one-bike resolution conveniently includes a review bike loophole, so once I resume testing on the wooden bike I'll have an opportunity to indulge my inner Fred if I so choose.

Anyway, with regard to outfitting Ol' Piney for the road, I'll be adapting my old 29er wheels for that purpose, and I'm hoping that switching between those and the full-on chubby wheels should just about cover me--despite what some may think:

So doable, but picked the wrong kind of bike I think. Check out our A.D.D, it’s made for this: road, cx, gravel, and MTB 650b. #onebike

— Van Dessel Cycles (@Van_Dessel) January 4, 2018

Yeah, looks like a fun bike but for this particular stunt I don't think so:.  

We may be the only bike company in the world to suggest you only need to own a single bike. But having pioneered the gravel/adventure bike realm (ahem, Country Road Bob, circa 2000) we know a thing or two about designing bikes with a tasty blend of performance, durability and versatility. It’s an idea we’ve pushed even further with the A.D.D. Road bike, CX bike, mountain bike, loaded touring/adventure bike—you can run 700 x 25–40mm road, CX or gravel tires, or switch up your wheels and run 27.5 x 2.1 MTB knobbies.

Firstly, now that I've tasted the sweet nectar of the 3.0 tire I don't think I can go a year limited to just 2.1.  Secondly, mountain biking with drop bars is kind of like eating a hamburger with chopsticks, whereas with the Jones bars I don't think I'll mind a few hours of pavement time without proper drops.  If anything, I suspect one year of upright riding may finally force me to admit I should adopt a more Petersenly position.

In any event I'll be sure to keep you apprised.

Finally, there's a storm currently bearing down on us, and I refused to take it seriously until they decided last night to close the schools.  This means that no matter how much snow we do or don't get I'll be totally buried in parenting duties.  Fortunately, in anticipation, I did manage to get out on the bike for a bit--yes, that bike:

Rather than head up north I undertook sort of an urban ramble, dropping in on the Highbridge mountain bike trails for a few laps:

Paying homage to the High Bridge itself:

And of course basking in the crotch of this ersatz stone sentry:

Then there was this:

It's what a car looks like after you drive it through a Home Depot:

Among its more distinctive features was this rear-mounted tableau:

And the rear end includes multiple electrical outlets and a pair of door holders for reasons unknown:

Evidently it's been around awhile, though I've never seen it in motion.

I'm not sure I want to, either.