Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Putting the "Semi" in Semi-Professional Bike Blogger

Yesterday was a perfect day for perambulation here in the northern precincts of the city, and I took advantage of it by leashing up a few of my seventeen (17) children for a stroll in the park.  People in floppy hats were painting:


And water fowl alighted upon the reflection of autumn's auburn splendor:


I reveled in it all until a brace of swans approached and started hissing at me:


Turns out swans are fucking assholes.

Today however the sky is grey and the rain is falling, and while I'd like nothing more to recline with my feet in a basin full of hot cocoa and blog for you from the comfort of my manse, the unfortunate truth is that I have various appointments in various places today.  And all of these appointments are more important than you.

So like the country gentleman I am I must put on my Inspector Gadget jacket:


Unfurl my most diminutive bicycle:


And surrender to being a moistened multi-modal fop.

Please accept my apologies for the truncated post, or don't, whatever makes you happy, and I'll see you back here tomorrow with my usual assortment of tasty seasonal recipes.

Until then,

I remain,

Faithlessly yours,


--Wildcat Rock Machine


59 comments:

bad boy heading south said...

Have a momentous traveling day.

Anonymous said...

That's nice

Ted K. said...

191. One should think twice before encouraging any other social conflict than that between the power- holding elite (which wields technology) and the general public (over which technology exerts its power). For one thing, other conflicts tend to distract attention from the important conflicts (between power-elite and ordinary people, between technology and nature); for another thing, other conflicts may actually tend to encourage technologization, because each side in such a conflict wants to use technological power to gain advantages over its adversary. This is clearly seen in rivalries between nations. It also appears in ethnic conflicts within nations. For example, in America many black leaders are anxious to gain power for African Americans by placing back individuals in the technological power-elite. They want there to be many black government officials, scientists, corporation executives and so forth. In this way they are helping to absorb the African American subculture into the technological system. Generally speaking, one should encourage only those social conflicts that can be fitted into the framework of the conflicts of power-elite vs. ordinary people, technology vs nature.

Anonymous said...

Non-Ted podium

JLRB said...

Top-scranus.

Off topic (not hissing swan related) - anyone ever ride the Capital Trail in Virginia, and if so what are the roads like at the Southern trail end?

N/A said...

Good morning, peeps.

Did anybody see that moon last night? "Super" is, perhaps, a bit of an exaggeration. It was OK, at best.

Old timer said...

Huh? What?

Anonymous said...

Long time listener, first top ten.

BeerDrivenCyclist said...

Top tenist? These early posts leave me little to do in my cubicle at lunch time. This is just unacceptable. I guess I'll just have to search for my next bike online!

theEel said...

weed.

Bryan said...

"Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?"

Everbody said...

Pro tip: Take a selfie with the super moon, you'll never look as small.

grog said...

I approve this message.
Scranus.

Anonymous said...

Make the moon great again

None said...

Leading the way, again, both sartorially and 'satire-torially.'

We have faith in you, despite the non-reciprocation.

dancesonpedals said...

AS long as there isn't a real post, please indulge me and take a look at my album, Requiem For a Fred.

These were gifted me by a neighbor who moved his brother into hospice care. He knew I liked riding, so now I have the knick-knacks and spare parts of a fellow Fred. A bicycle tie, a white oak bike rack, a Campagnolo cork puller are among the knick-knacks.

A deep rim tubular wheelset. A 54 tooth chainring. Extra derailleur pullies. The spare parts.

What is sitting around in my own house, that my children will pass on? Phil Ligget DVDs? Vuelta Catalan tee shirts?

Friends, clean your closets.

N/A said...

Whoa, DOP, that's quite a pile of good Fredly stuff. Bummer for your neighbor, but it was nice of them to pass it along to you.


When I kick it, my bike crap will probably just get dumped in the garbage. Too bad, there's some really choice pieces of sh... good stuff in there. You could probably sell all the saddles and tires for a decent used Hyundai.

cdinvb said...

The 'spression for that paintin' stuff is "plein air." And ink jet in art speak is "giclee." Just so you know. Onna other hand, I used to live near Vur-sails, buddy. So put that in your Roubaix and smoke it.

McFly said...

We have aggressive geese at our Big Ass Lake. They will fuck you up.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

this is coming out of your tip

Drock said...

What PED's must water fowl find in nature to fly all those miles, I know they have slip stream down but one of them has to be finding something to give to the others, especially the ones who can't pull their weight. The answers are in the fowl my friends. Why was snob so close, a clue to his performance.

N/A said...

We have big fat geese/ shit-machines in my turf, too. I like to bark at them whenever I pass through a gaggle of 'em. Except once in a while I will moo at them, just to keep them on their toes.

N/A said...

I'm multi-lingual, as you can see.

Grump said...

Snobby, why didn't you use your god given second amendment rights to defend yourself from those rioting swans.



Seattle lone wolf said...

Yeah, Canadian Geese are assholes too. Hissing, crapping, A320 downing jerks.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. BSNYC -- My dog insisted we take the subway this morning. There was an art exhibit in Union Square he wanted to see.

Very Slim Pickens said...

No offense intended to Babble or CommieCanuck, but Canadian Geese are wicked fierce assholes. In fact, they'll tear you a new asshole.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

top 30 Scranus!

Anonymous said...

My zombiepacalypse plan is basically to eat swans.

CommieCanuck said...

It's November 15th, amazing how pure white animals with a tinge of orange feel so entitled.


Canadian Geese are dicks. They fly down there every winter, cheap as hell, never tip in restaurants, shit everywhere, worse than French Canadians in Florida.

I think they learn this on route while in NY. "hey, nice sandwich, would be a shame if you DROPPED IT AND RAN, motherfucker. Honk."

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Canadian Geese suck ass ever since they stopped being migratory and decided to stay wherever the fuck they were in the US! The worst is when they molt or have babies and then waddle across the streets into traffic instead of flying. Worse than a pack of Freds taking up the whole road!

DOP you can use that bieks tie for ugly tie day if they have that where you work! If you don't have it and are in a position of authority, you can declare an ugly tie day and wear it.

The Campy corkscrew is a nice score. The other stuff, especially the Campy bits you can sell on Craigslist or eBay for sure, and you can donate the money to a worthy cause if you feel guilty about it.

Sorry to hear about your neighbor. I had a real good friend who succumbed to brain cancer and left behind a world super power arsenal of bikes and fredness. My own fred arsenal is but a banana republic's stature but someone will still need to deal with it when I'm gone. As long as our families are taken care of, it's just stuff.

1904 Cadardi said...

Here's hoping Wildcat will treat us to a delicious holiday recipe for roasted White Swan!

JLRB said...

Hey specialized - time to come up with waterfowl-poop-specific tires and geometry.

JLRB said...

DOP - Cool stuff your neighbor's brother accumulated - if you auction it off I'm bidding on the cork pull, the LeCrema and the sign.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

DOP,

Good stuff to remember your friend, especially the Campy corkscrew.

I have a friend, a Zadroga victim, cop, from 911. We did alot of backpacking together, When his cancer finally did him in, his wife was very generous and let me pick through his gear. I took some knives ( good full tang Buck sheath knife), sleeping bags, winter Sorels, just enough to use, and to bring on every trip with me. We're still travelling together.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

"leashing up a few of my seventeen (17) children"

So refreshing to see this example of responsible parenting. Please tell me you use a short standard to keep them well heeled and not those stupid retractable units.

N/A said...

Does Rivendell still sell those long straps? The Irish straps, or whatever they called them? Maybe Wildcat has a huge stash of Riv merch and used those for his seventeen(17) children.

dancesonpedals said...

Bad Parenting: Keeping track of Children

Anonymous said...

It's Canada geese not Canadian geese damn it!

befuddled twat said...

Like Canada Bacon?

BT said...

And Canada Dry?

Anonymous said...

And that song "oh Canadian"

JLRB said...

Canada Club Whiskey

Charlie said...

Thanks anonymous for keeping these people on track. Has no one heard of a proper noun? Sheesh.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Do Canucks canoodle in Canadia?

dancesonpedals said...

Royal Canada Mounted Police

dancesonpedals said...

BTW

Who mounts police?

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

I always thought the Royal Canadians mounted police?

Then again, I always thought there was a cross-eyed bear named Gladly, as in "Gladly the cross-eyed bear"

Call of the Wild said...

The best way to deal with the swans would be to run like hell! Your children's little legs would not carry them swiftly enough and a couple of them would probably fall as prey, thereby ensuring your escape to safety, while the birds feasted.

Dooth said...

Who does that floppy-hatted, plein air-painting papa think he is? Camille Pissarro? Fuck outta here...that's the Bronx, yo! And it's beautiful.

Anonymous said...

If they were asshole waterfowl, then they could have been Trumpeter swans.

Anonymous said...

As Alexander Hamilton writes in “The Federalist Papers,” the Constitution is designed to ensure “that the office of President will never fall to the lot of any man who is not in an eminent degree endowed with the requisite qualifications.” The point of the Electoral College is to preserve “the sense of the people,” while at the same time ensuring that a president is chosen “by men most capable of analyzing the qualities adapted to the station, and acting under circumstances favorable to deliberation, and to a judicious combination of all the reasons and inducements which were proper to govern their choice.”

Hurray for Global Warming! said...

The Interior Department on Tuesday issued its long-awaited rule to slash methane emissions at drilling sites on federal land.
But despite the agency's promise that the rule will help tackle greenhouse gas emissions, Republicans are already bullish on blocking the measure in the new Congress.
The Bureau of Land Management's new rule will require oil and gas companies to use new technologies to cut flaring in half, inspect their sites for leaks and replace old equipment that officials say releases too much methane into the air.
It's part of an Obama administration effort to cut emissions of methane, a potent greenhouse gas and the main component of natural gas, by up to 45 percent by 2025.
The drilling industry and Republicans oppose the effort, though, saying drillers themselves are doing a good job cutting emissions on their own.
Republican lawmakers on Tuesday promised to attempt to undo the rule. That's a plausible goal given that they can pass a resolution in the new Congress disapproving of the measure, which President-elect Trump could then sign.
"The Republican majority in Congress will not let this rule stand. We will work with President-elect Trump to revoke this rule either administratively or through the use of the Congressional Review Act," said Sen. John Barrasso (R-Wyo.), who is next in line to lead the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee

babble on said...

Oh honk.

No offence taken, Mr Slim. You cant argue with a simple truth. Oh wait, Apparently down there in sweaty scranusville, the truth is subjective, and depends upon which side of the bed your orange flavoured president elect wonk up on. But you'll grow to appreciate the little shits, because when the great northern wall goes up it's gonna be constructed of gold plated rock solid goose poop, so that poor old America doesn't have to pay for it. You can thank us in 2020 by making a few evidence based decisions.

Anonymous said...

Geese are easy to deal with. All you need is a .22 pistol with a suppressor. Or a weed wacker.

Nuff Said said...

Sen. John Barr-ass-o

Orange Glowing Object Sighted in DC said...

Ms. Babble, The Glowing Orange One will build a moat between the country of Medicine for All and the country of Sick, then Go Shoot Yourself. Saves money, what with the Great Lakes already built and all. Revenue producing too, you can charge tourists to float around.



Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Babble, I believe our orange flavoured president elect has people to wonk him, he doesn't have to wonk himself!

And your prime minister Trudeau should have America's toupee adopt the Trump Doctrine, which is that the shitty neighbor to the South pays for the border wall for its Northern neighbor!

If there is someone among the commentariat with mad photoshop skillz, I'd like to see a picture of Ivanka and Melania Trump talking, with Donald in the background and Governor Crispy Kreme walking away in tears, with a traffic cone head and a Pinnochio nose. The caption would have Melania saying to Ivanka while pointing to Donald, "He went to Jared!"

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