Friday, March 25, 2016

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz and I'm Off for a Week!

Important news regarding next week:

I won't be here.


That's right, I'll be letting this blog lie fallow until Monday, April 4th, at which point I will return with regular updates.

As for why I won't be here, I have my reasons, and one of them is that I can't handle yet another year of forced April Fools posts from the cycling media.

Yes, it's a fake press release for a product that's only slightly sillier than the stuff we read about the rest of the year, we get it.

Speaking of silly products, here's your 50 millionth reminder to pre-order my new book while I'm gone:


SPOILER ALERT: Humanity is destroyed by our dependence on fossil fuels and a mutated race of hyper-intelligent lizards reigns supreme.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll win a million dollars (though it will be taxed at a rate of 100% so you will receive a check for $0.00), and if you're wrong you'll see crossing wheels.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and see you back here on April 4th!



--Wildcat Rock Machine










1) What kind of bird is this?

--A common crane
--A great blue heron
--An intermediate egret
--It's not a bird at all, it's a Yonkers water rat







Plantiff(s) voluntarily performed and engaged in the alleged activity and assumed the risk of the injuries and/or damages claimed. Plaintiff(s) failed to use all required, proper, appropriate and reasonable safety devices and/or equipment and failed to take all proper, appropriate and reasonable steps to assure his/her/their safety … Plaintiff(s)’ implied assumption of risk caused or contributed, in whole or in part [sic] to his/her/their injuries.

2) What was Plaintiff(s) doing?








3) Fake bike riding computer game Zwift has added:







(It's back...or is it?)

4) What is "Bimp'Air?"

--A new suspension fork for fat bikes
--A self-refilling compressed air canister that mounts to your bike
--Shimano's new compressed air shifting system
--Like regular air, only 20% lighter






5) It helps to know your rights.

--True
--False






6) Just kidding, you have no rights.

--True
--False





("Oh, oh, oh, Femke's cryin'...")

7) Why is Femke crying?

--Her ban extends to artistic cycling, the discipline to which she had intended to transition
--She's not; the tears belong to her friend who was crying and they accidentally fell on her face
--The food she's eating is spicy
--Even though she was the obvious choice, Specialized did not hire her to help promote their new Playboy e-bike with Sexism Drive™ technology



***Special Unsolicited Safety Advice From A Massive Fred-Themed Bonus Video!***

(Contains NSFW language.)


Oh, go stick it in your ear.

297 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 297 of 297
DB said...

200?

DB said...

Dinged by Burma Shave!

Tyoneon said...

After a night of heavy drinking, the toilet bowl feels cool against my cheek, providing porcelain plenipotentiary powers against my nausea.

bad boy of the north said...

morning all!congrats to Burma shave.a razor thin victory,fersure.well,up and onward to 300.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Entering LIRR woohoo speed zone.....

P. Bateman said...

top two hundred and tennitis!

seriously, i have some serious tennis elbow lately and cant decide if its because my frame is a bit too big and i'm stretched out, or simply from typing at this gawd dang computer all day.

also, there is documentary called Bicycle on hulu. its moderately entertaining.

N/A said...

Good morning, all.

I would like to offer this one simple word for you to ponder upon: scranus.

Eric the Infrequent said...

Rather jealous of all the new owners. I need a new commuter. Unfortunately I'm cheap and also indecisive. No idea what to get.

babble on said...

Heh, yeah, and I need n+2 new bieks these days: a cross bike for those longer work-related commutings, and a track bike, because fast.

Girls love sparkly, shiny colourways, especially the ones with very little colour and lots of sparkle. You know you know what I'm talking about, gentlemen... ;)

Um, and yep. I am always out riding wif Da Boys, but I would love to be going out with the girls, too. Any wheel will do, really, so long as the person making it go is a reliable rider. Sadly, the famdamily has insisted I skip the races, this year... for fear. And before you say "Damned Right!" just know that the one person who stands behind me and my love of the sport is my doctor, though I suppose he might just have a vested interest. :-/

Spokey said...


gooad morning red white & blues. or hmmmm goooad afternoon all youse red, white & blues.

also a top of the day to merica's bald spot.

aaahhhh shiny things. used to buy those shiny cannuck silver dollars. but then they changed from a relief of the young queenie to the current queenie.

gonna go backs and look and the shop's greenies but probably go with sparkly reddly.


P. Bateman said...

@spokey - funny, i myself was quite the Canadian numismagician.

haven't tinkered with them in a long time. but love me some old dollars with fancy queens and canoes and sometimes large water fowl and totem poles.

everyone's buying fancy bikes. looks like i may start an inventory clearance. i've tried everything but this darn bridgestone chubby bike is just too much reach for me.

as are all my various project bikes. why do i have a room full of bikes too big for me? oh, because i'm not married and this is the sort of idiot shit you do when a smart women is not there to supervise you. just fucking great.

Spokey said...


PB

although spousy prevents me from opening cayman island bank accounts, i've never run into any resistance on bike buying. but i don't buy them very often and i don't get really expensive ones. i think this one will probably top out around 5K when done. without racks and such of course.

i'm pretty sure i'm not talented enough to true a wheel. also too blind for stuff where you need to see small detail.

dop said...

I just put a rack and fenders on the Red Cross to make it commutable...oh shit, let me show that with an attractive background...oh the pedals are at 12 and 6, to hell with it. (Garnet and Black...Go Gamecocks)

The most fun was grinding the ends off the brackets to make them easier to install.

Spokey said...


so dop

where is the front rack? how do you carry stuff on the rear and manage the six-pack?

i donna no. cranks in the wrong position. not a triple. short cage. and apparently so out to lunch as to not be embarrassed by the whole thing.

dop said...

Spokey...

Shouldn't you show us your tattoo ti identify yourself as a velominati?

PS Who needs a triple with a 44/34 crank , and an 11-12-13-14-15-17-19-21-23-25-28 cassette?

Roille Figners said...

dop - I can almost smell the smell of grinding. It's like I'm there. Not sure why it always smells the same. I guess that would be little steel bits oxidizing. Makes me nostalgic for framebuilding.

Jesus I sound like Pegoretti now. Anyway the bike is not too damn shabby!

Spokey said...


i need a triple with my 11-34 cassette. don't use the granny often but definitely when the bastard road wants me to go up it at anything over 8%.

tattoo!?!? i wouldn't even put the bumper stickers "my kid is an xxxxx honor student" on the car. don't even wear rings (ear, finger, naughty bits).

wishiwasmerckx said...

Dop, pretty nice ride.

BTW, Homeland Security would like to have a word with you about the Dunlop "ISIS" tennis racket in the background of the shot. Babolat, Wilson, maybe Head or Prince. Only a terrorist would play with a Dunlop...

crosspalms said...

I've got blisters on me fingers from putting a new tire and tube on my blue-and-cream bike, accidentally pinching the tube on the final push, then doing it all over again with a new new tube because I flatted the first one by pinching it. Anyway, it's been raining and thundering on and off here, so no hurry to go outside and try it. I replaced the tires and tubes on the green bike last fall, so it's fine. PB -- it has a heron on the head badge, cause it's a Heron, but the only woman who every reacted to it said her husband had one and she was waiting for a Milwaukee she'd ordered. All this talk of new bikes made me wander over to Rivendell and look at that new Appaloosa. Yum.

dancesonpedals said...

"ISIS dun'lopt his head off" I think ISIS is one of those brands that will fade...just like I haven't seen any TV ads lately for Ayds weight loss candies.


crosspalms...you describe cycling as we know it

P. Bateman said...

dun'lopt his head off....

wish we had emojis for the comments. i would use up all the jazz hands/spirit sprinkle hands

ken e. said...

makes amused face to self.

dancesonpedals said...

Note to self...can one lop with a jackknife?


(Too soon?)

Holy Roller said...

Jehovah is the God of love and only kills people who need to be killed. ISIS kills people who don't believe in what they believe. There is a difference. Amen.

A box of ammo said...

The surgeon general has determined that smoting may be hazardous to your health

Anonymous said...

http://i.imgur.com/I4Hgw7z.jpg

McFly said...

^^^My leather ensconced Plastic bike.

McFly said...

Raleigh Commuter Conversion https://imgur.com/o1wPPHL

McFly said...

https://imgur.com/o1wPPHL

McFly said...

https://imgur.com/WS9cbq7

McFly said...

I apologize for the clumsy non html but I am not really Tech savvy.

Roille Figners said...

McFly - classy!

bad boy of the north said...

dop,nice wheelset..sharp ride.keep it rubber side down.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

That Brooklyn mailman arrested last week is taking the high road

He agrees that they should be disciplined, but they should not lose their jobs, he said.

“Honestly speaking, we're all human, we all make mistakes, but lately a lot of mistakes have been made by police officers,” Grays said.

P. Bateman said...

all this circle jerking over the new tesla 3 is making me want to trade in my car-guy card.

sure, i guess moving toward EV's is...good...i guess....but i think the focus on EV technology and emissions and self driving blah blah blah distracts from the bigger picture about changing our car-centric infrastructure.

you already know this, but after drinking coffee and reading my favorite car blogs i wanted to pop over here for confessional.

good speed little doodles, god speed.



Henry Thomas Michael Levine said...

McFly's plastic bike in serious leather

Raleigh?

one of them kona burgers

Roille Figners said...

Bateman, I call them coal-powered vehicles just to remind everyone.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

P Bateman, hang on to your car-guy card - electric cars aren't going to catch on really big until they can be recharged as fast as a car's gas tank can be refilled and people get over the range anxiety. Renewable power is great but we are a long way off from it satisfying all of our electricity needs, so those electric cars will need to rely on fossil fuel to some extent to recharge. When you consider battery manufacturing as well, what is the overall carbon footprint of an electric car vs a gas or diesel car from cradle to grave?

I heard a story on NPR yesterday about self-driving cars. It seems they require continuous, quality high-speed internet access, can't anticipate bumps and potholes, and require good lines painted on the roads, but in places like NYC where those lines if they do exist, are more like suggestions, the self driving cars get flummoxed.

By the time all these things are worked out, there will be tuners and hot rodders modifying them, so the car-guys will be fine.

On the other hand, the overall car-centric infrastructure and culture is not going to be easy to change here in Canada and Mexico's scranus.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Snob's on sabbatical, and now we've resorted to the cycling geek equivalent of dick pics?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Electric cars aren't for everyone. It charges while you sleep, often at a reduced rate from the utility company. Range anxiety is real if you drive significant miles each day, but for normal commuting and driving around town, it is a myth.

dancesonpedals said...

Cycling geek dick picks? I resemble that remark.

A flashy helmet.

McFly said...

Jesus H. Christ 2 out of 3 bikes in that collection of cycle porn are on the damn small ring.

Frickus Rungus said...

I don't have a flashy healment, but I do have a radioactive bike. The not-quite-at-the-top tube is made from a partially spent fuel rod that I got cheap from a 3 mile island garage sale. (see profile pick)

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Wish I was Merckx - agree range anxiety is a myth not applicable to most drivers, no different than the myth that we need an SUV to drive in snow and go off road, which 99% of SUV drivers never do. The myth is holding lots of people back from going electric in their car choices though. (As well as the current cheap gas prices!)

wishiwasmerckx said...

Say what you will, but Tesla just pulled in $150,000,000.00 in advance deposits on the model 3 in 24 hrs. Delivery date = 4th qtr 2017. (Not sure, but I think that in car-speak, that is a secret codeword for 2nd qtr 2018.)

Absolutely true story: the original name was the model E, but they already had the model S and the model X, so they had to change it.

Keep Them Doggies Movin said...

WIWM @ 628:

"And as to LA drivers, the freeways are, indeed, often parking lots. But when they are moving, those guys really do know how to drive. They go 80 mph bumper-to-bumper and door handle-to-door handle. It's just like NASCAR.

...and never knew that British Racing Green was taboo. The collector* car in my garage is in that colorway."

LA Drivers - tis true. Rear enders, a dime a dozen.

Once upon a time, a long time ago, etc, I owned a 1958 MGA, it was BRG. Wish I still owned it.

The Ghost of Nikola Tesla said...

Lt. Oblivious at 1033: Electric car re-charging. Read an article recently about a guy in Europe who has invented a way to charge the car as it drives. It's really nothing but turning how an electric street car works, but upside down. Charging rail is imbedded in the road and a charging strip on the car engages it. Really old infrastructure, turned upside down. I have no idea what happens when it rains, all nearby pedestrians get fried?

Carlos Danger said...

Is there a textable picture of Femke standing nak'd in a bedroom holding a cattle prod?

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

The Ghost Of Nikola Tesla - the old third rail, eh? Maybe they can make it an inductive charger this time around, like our electric toothbrushes, no need for all that messy energized bare steel.

While you're out and about, can you ask the ghosts of George Westinghouse and Thomas Edison if they've moved past that whole AC-DC spat?

dancesonpedals said...

Have we given McFly any flak for the Vineyard Vines logo seen behind his plastic bike?

P. Bateman said...

@wishwasmerxcxxce - actually, tesla WANTED to have a model line up of the S, the E and the X, but ford owns the E designation (their cargo vans). so, thats why the 3 logo has been stylized to still resemble an E

i also dont quite see how a battery operated iphone on wheels that will have a shelf life of like 8 years is somehow greener than just buying a used prius but twatever.

i'm still shopping a used 996 and those other folks can have the iphone on wheels.

JLRB said...

I'm tempted to give all of my bikes that need repairs away and buy new - I used to love working on my bikes - time is too short these days - maybe because I waste time posting on blogs. Nah.

wishiwasmerckx said...

If the 996 is a turbo, you've got something. If not, collector demand is low, largely due to the "fried egg" headlights.

Reminds me of an old joke: I told this girl I met at a bar that her eyes matched the color of my Porsche. Anybody got a violet-colored Porsche for sale?

P. Bateman said...

yeah, they are cheap. thats why i want one. they are way underrated. and they do come in purple.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

P Bateman - Porsche 996's can be cheap to purchase, please do your homework on water pumps, IMS, RMS, AOS, E-I-E-I-O. Find the best one you can that's had these areas addressed. Consider paying for a pre-purchase inspection on the car you're seriously interested in. You don't want to get underwater on purchase price plus cost of repairs vs. the car's blue book value.

ReVolting said...

I couldn't afford cash for my Tesla, so I'm going to have to charge it.

ken e. said...

needed a new car last yearish, as both my folks live about 5 hrs away, the one way is the second most gnarly highway i know, so it's gotta be AWD. thought about am audi r-something, my sensible friends' comment was the price of the car is just the admission fee to a world of repairs. so i bought another VW... same difference, $10 less a hr to fix.

MORE MONY
MORE RPRS
LESS HSPR

Path Of Least Resistance said...

There are both positive and negative things about having batteries in cars.

Anonymous said...

Path of Least Resistance zooms in to take the current lead in the Snob's Week Off Derby.

McFly said...

What the crap. I thought that was a big girls need love too logo.

Path Of Least Resistance said...

If I were a poet, I would craft anode to the electic car battery.

Spokey said...



sad i missed all the car talk.

PB screw the 996. get a nice pumpkin 914. we all need a good laugh.

as for lectrics, not a problem that a slew of nuke plants can't fix. and recharge is getting better.

i almost got a prius v last year. but found out from toyota that they don't approve of any hitch on the thing. not even just a hitch for bieks. given it's a bit tall for a roof rack, i ditched that idear and opted for a similar outback. a little more room, cargo space and the dang thing gets in the low 30s even with that awd.

Spokey said...


oh and what a bunch of losers we all are. we'll be lucky to hit 500 fuck-o(e)s by the time snobbie is back (though he's probably lurking here anyway).

wishiwasmerckx said...

Spokey, a Subaru Outback? The official car of lesbians? Bold choice.

Subaru now makes another small SUV they call the XV, which apparently stands for "extra vagina."

Spokey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spokey said...

didn't know that. i'll have to start checking out other outbackers.

guess it runs in the family. gots male & female same sex marriages & living togethers in this line-up.

Rip Van Winkle said...

266 nuggets of wisdom, with less than 48 hrs to go. Maybe Snob will put up a Going Out of Business sign. If I were the Snob I'd put up a picture of Babble's Legs Monday morning to wake up the tribe.

Down the Lazy River said...

WIWM 1:12 & FYI Note to Spokey 1:41: You sure it's isn't the Subaru Canoe Paddle model, the one that comes with the Rolling Stones “Tongue and Lip Design" logo on it?

ken e. said...

almost bought my friends' outback, probably the most sensible person i know. there's a venn diagram joke here somewhere.

DB said...

Car Talk!
Traded in the Volt two months ago for a Rav 4. Got stuck in the snow 4 times this winter and it was a mild winter. Electric cars are great, but belong south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Spokey said...


but the volt is a plug-in hybrid. or it used to be.

Roille Figners said...

Outback also seems to be the official car of Oregon. Or Western Oregon at least. Now part of that is probably because we have tons of lesbians but clearly there are other people buying them too. Venn diagram time! I never noticed them until I took a drive with a Californian who kept calling out Outbacks like the fucking Count from Sesame Street. There were enough out there that I eventually had to ask him to stop.

Mark Twain said...

Less than 24 hours until the Scribe of Gowanus returns putting quill pen to parchment to spell scranus.

The Village People said...

S-C-R-A-N-U-S

Spokey said...


i was thinking maybe we needed to start cleaning up the place.

but then figured we could just stuff all the crap in to the closet and maybe snobbie will never notice.

Le Tour du LIRR said...

POC at 709 way back in another month "Entering LIRR woohoo speed zone....."

Back in 1903 the LIRR built a two mile long wood bike path between the tracks so a cyclist named Charles Murphy "Mile a Minute Murphy" could prove he could ride at 60 MPH. Photos of the event are really interesting. Mr. Murphy resides in the Green-Wood Cemetery in Brookyn where he went to be curated.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Le Tour,

yes, we all are familiar with Murph. His train ran late as well, engineer couldn't get it to 60 mph the first try (LIRR woo Hoo speed)

<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Minthorn_Murphy<Mile a Minute Murphy and the slow LIRR train>/a>

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

oops

Mile a Minute Murphy and the slow LIRR train

Mr Off-Topic. said...

Gidget, a movie about a troubled teen, raging hormones, and repression.

BamaPhred said...

Spokey, sometimes one of the cats leaves a "dropping" in the middle of the floor, not because it is sick, or the cat boxes are nasty, or lack of food and water, but because it missed me. Perhaps we could perform this same service for Herr Snob. Just to let him know we missed him.

dancesonpedals said...

My cat loves a good game of turd hockey.

Bruce Springsteen, Running Coach said...

Just wrap these legs round these velvet ribs and strap your hands 'cross my engine

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Well the goal was set for 5,500 posts this week and here we are at a mere 283!

Emir 283 said...

speak for yourself

Spokey said...


and i thought i was the only one with a fuck-o cat who felt the need to spread the wealth. some say it's because he's in his 20's, blind, and deaf. i say it's because he doesn't give a fuck-o anymore.

i will say that i used to come home and maybe not put on the lights. but after grinding a cat turd in to the kitchen floor awhile back, all lights go bright until a recon is completed.

Count of Sprint said...


Let's rally. There is still time. The Lord of the Snobs isn't up yet. We only have 5,000+ posts to go. If everyone who reads this blog posts 10 in the next 10 minutes, we climb over 300 posts.

Anonymous said...

Spring Break is over. Back to work.

Not a robot

Captain Oblivious said...


Is that Spring Dik Break is over? Or regular Spring Rim Breaks?

Meat Puppet said...

I'm a mindless idiot

Anonymous said...

Cold & drizzling this morning. I did not ride the bike

Anonymous said...

291

Anonymous said...

291 is not a prime (try 3*97)

Anonymous said...

293 is prime!!

Golbach said...

294 is 283+11

Golbach said...

My name is Goldbach, not "Golbach"

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