Tuesday, October 13, 2015

This is a connecting flight, have your passports and boarding passes ready!

That's right, today's post is over on the Brooks England Blog:


(Click here to read it, or click here to not read it.)

Help yourself to anything in the fridge while you're over there, and if the butler gives you a hard time tell him I said it was okay.

Then tell him to make you a sandwich.

See you back here tomorrow,


--Wildcat Rock Machine

PS: Here's your bonus taxpayer-funded safety propaganda:



PPS:

Is Phoneix fucking kidding with this stuff?!?


PPPS:

Here's a comic for you, Phoenex:


The above ad is both accurate and privately funded.

You're welcome, Phoenix.

93 comments:

Anonymous said...

didnt even read it and I still won. Scranus

Ted K. said...

Note 13 (Paragraph 66) Conservatives’ efforts to decrease the amount of government regulation are of little benefit to the average man. For one thing, only a fraction of the regulations can be eliminated because most regulations are necessary. For another thing, most of the deregulation affects business rather than the average individual, so that its main effect is to take power from the government and give it to private corporations. What this means for the average man is that government interference in his life is replaced by interference from big corporations, which may be permitted, for example, to dump more chemicals that get into his water supply and give him cancer. The conservatives are just taking the average man for a sucker, exploiting his resentment of Big Government to promote the power of Big Business.

Anonymous said...

Here! (Under protest)

cycle

Anonymous said...

Top 100!

Prof Pangloss said...

top o' the morning

BamaPhred said...

2nd Scranus

Bryan said...

#5! Time to go over to my connecting flight.
I wonder how I made it to work alive today without a helment??

Neil said...

:04 in the video...they could use this clip to tell drivers to park on the right. WTF Phoenix?

DB said...

What is this Hatzolah?
In the Midwest, we don't know Jewish stuff.

Thanks for a great tour. I always loved the Hipster Silk Route stories.

JLRB said...

top tetnus

DB said...

Leroy's Dog:
Took dog for walk in woods, she collapsed on couch afterwards. Wife sat next to her. Found 2 ticks on wife later. Dog now in Frontline haze after I doubled her dose. Wife on antibiotics. Be careful out there.

JB said...

I wonder what the decision making process is re: Milwaukee vs. SS bike?

PotbellyJoe said...

Great post Snobi Wan,

The citi bikes accepting singles slayed me.

I bought a "Loogie Green" BMX style bike from Haro for my kid this weekend for $10. Apparently Grandpa was selling it because grandson never came to visit.

It was in perfect shape, so now i just have to wait 3 years until my kid is big enough to ride it. (he has a bike his size right now)

I was walking out of a grocery store yesterday when a poorly sung kid's version of Lee Greewood's God Bless the USA came on the overhead. I groaned audibly ad murmured something about "not this shit" when a guy behind in a very gruff voice said, "You got a problem with this song?!"

I turned to look and there was a grown man with a NRA hat on. I said I did, when really my issue is not with the over-privileged, nationalistic and pandering lyrics, but that they were also being sung entirely out of tune. He suggested I should't live in the country that I apparently did't like because I wasn't a fan of these over-privileged, nationalistic and pandering lyrics that were being sung entirely out of tune. I thought it was a little rash of him to suggest that I alter the course of my known existence simply because i think a child singing a stupid song is stupid. He disagreed and we marched off to our means of transportation apparently as mortal enemies because he yelled expletives at me as he drove away with his windows down.

So basically, a typical Monday night at Shoprite in Hunterdon County, NJ.

PotbellyJoe said...

I was thankful to be in my Father-in-law's car so he doesn't recognize me in the future. Meanwhile my FIL is going to be very confused the first time they cross paths.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

What pressure are you runnin on the hilpster silk route?

babble on said...

Hmm... funny, cause an audit of all calls to emergency services here in BC determined that 95% of accidents involving cyclists here in Vancouver are caused by driver error. Driver error.

There is plenty of evidence proving that the Idaho stop law reduces accident and injury, too. So what does that mean? Just what people on bicycles have always known: dumbass drivers are the bane of our existance, and the only thing we can do to protect our asses is to ride with the knowledge and understanding that any driver on the road at any time day or night may or may not be awake and aware.

Anonymous said...

dammit

BamaPhred said...

Thanks for clearing up the name of the strip club for me. I thought it was Scranus's. I was going to have to file a cease and desist order cause that's the name of my new venture. It's a franchise opportunity for a line of craft beer, vape, e-cig, tattoo, and exotic dance venues, all under one roof. It's a one stop for all your hipster needs. Any investors? Leroy's Dog is on board if that makes you feel better, and he says it's the shizz. Or maybe something else.

Grump said...

What?...No bike computer?
If you cannot document and/or record your time/distance/average speed/and cadence, the ride never happened.

You wasted the entire morning.

N/A said...

I long for the opportunity to waste an entire morning!

Anonymous said...

The babe with the camera; she wouldn't happen to take nude selfies, would she?

Spokey said...

whew

just made it. top 20 after subtracting ted

Spokey said...


hey either robot or i can't count. and it ain't me

BikeSnobNYC said...

JB,

1) I hadn't ridden it in awhile and it needed some attention; 2) I was planning to do a pavement-only ride and it's got road tires and pedals on it.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

bad boy of the north said...

nice tour of four boroughs of nyc.alas,poor staten island,left off your tour itinerary.

bad boy of the north said...

red lantern looks like a nice little place to visit.

Agreeable-ish said...

WCRM, Old Man Brooks must pay you a bunch if you can afford pedals on that push bike of yours.

Pot Belly Joe, that is a cringeworthy song indeed. Even IN tune.

N/A said...

Sometimes, you walk among your bikes and one speaks to you. It says, "if you don't take me for a ride today, I'm going rust something up, seize up my bottom bracket, and rot my tires. Ride me, big boy."

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

The Great Hilpster Silk Route passes right by my marina on Flatbush Avenue and then goes over the Marine Parkway Bridge to Fort Tilden. I was getting excited to see pix of Jamaica Bay. But alas, the Williburg Br and random pix of the Kent Ave bike lane would have to suffice.

vsk

dnk said...

Potbelly Joe,

I was in the army in the mid-1980s (now-defunct 7th Light Infantry). From time to time, there would be division-wide formations in which we'd have to stand and hear the latest hooah bullshit. Before which the Lee Greenwood would be played to full-blast distortion for the troops' amusement. To my recollection, everybody --- officers, NCOs, and certainly the sub-par enlisted to which I belonged --- got a kick out of standing there at full attention hating that song. It seemed as patriotic as mom and apple pie to loathe every fawning word of it.

Sometimes, the Lee Greenwood wouldn't be played. Instead, "Chariots of Fire" theme song, baby!! Which was also pretty funny because there are no words and it goes on forever.

Too bad your NRA hat Shoprite buddy has no sense of humor.......

BikeSnobNYC said...

bad boy of the north,

I'm boycotting Staten Island until they put a bike lane on the Verrazano.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Rapha!

N/A said...

"Do It With Passion Or Not At All"

Sometimes my Taco Bell sauce packets really make me think, you know?

BamaPhred said...

I remember when Proud to be an American song first appeared. It was a good tune, until they played it so much only the Shoprite NRA Cap types could listen to it. Now I just want to do the Animal House scene and bash Lee Greenwood over his head with his guitar when it's played. Where at least I know I'm free, indeed, Free to have the NSA, FBI, etc snoop emails, texts, and telco converstaions and be unwilling groped and pornoscanned at the airport, etc

leroy said...

Actually, BSNYC and I bumped into each other on the 59th Street Bridge and stopped to chat across from the strip club, but only because I could dock the Citibike, which I'm using as my gap bike while figuring out a replacement for my commuter, without incurring excessive overtime fees.

I've never been to that club (or actually any strip club now that I think of it), but my dog assures me that a $200 corkage fee for champagne is quite reasonable for an establishment offering a free lunch buffet.

Makes you wonder about that whole "no free lunch" bromide.

JLRB said...

I got cat-6'd by an old guy on an electric bike this morning. What does that have to do with anything?

N/A said...

Wait a minute, this Bike Snob guy is real?

FredNifacent said...

PBJ - The SR in Branchburg may be a better choice, they don't play that type of music there. I assume you were at the Fleming"stone" SR. We avoid that one at all costs because it seems that things change significantly over that short distance.

McFly said...

It depends if the horse manure is wet from rain or if it came out wet.

JB said...

Snob, re: bike choice. That sounds perfectly reasonable, which is not good for your comment numbers.

bad boy of the north said...

snob,sounds like a plan.besides,beautiful bayonne,nj is/would be a hop,skip and a jump away.

P. Bateman said...

why is a rat in a sweat shop covered in fudge? i don't understand?

Citi And Divvy Bikes Rule said...

I prefer more upright (as opposed to the sleazy, downward gazing, something to hide, potentially more buttcrack, neck straining, bent over, Downright Infernal) bike riding. This is one of the "insidious" side effects of the lovely Citi Bikes and other very safe upright bikes.

ChainWhipped said...

So there's finally a psa against salmoning and that's a problem?

bk jimmy said...

Jimmy's--that's my establishment! We offer fully freegan cuisine, specializing in day-old bagels and other locally-sourced, vintage victuals. Stop by next time for some orange-peel salad, or coffee grind-encrusted bread objects. Or maybe just underwear. The menu's always changing.

Guy in the Shop Rite parking lot said...

Woollen? Woollen?!?! This is AMERICA And we spell it WOOLEN.

Anonymous said...

Sellout. How much do they pay you to blog over there?

P. Bateman said...

no mention of old man columbus and his holiday to honor his incredible line of steel tubing?

and you call this a bike blog. harumph.

PotbellyJoe said...

@FredNificent,

Clinton. And yes, Branchburg is far nicer. I like the Somerville one except for the parking lot.

I did a charity ride in NJ that involved a decent amount of climbing, there was a guy on an electric bike. I asked him if he liked the New England Patriots. He did.

Dooth said...

You shot a photo shoot! And the crew is left wallowing in the irony of it all.

JLRB said...

ps - That first photo - with Bibshorts guy morphed onto your torso - creepy - more Halloween than Columbo Day

Name said...

Slightly Bike related, very NY related.

http://gu.com/p/4d97b/sbl

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

There is supposed to be a rally on Saturday to support a bike lane on the VZ Bridge.

http://www.brooklyneagle.com/articles/2015/10/13/verrazano-bridge-bike-path-supporters-push-sunday-access

OOps, it was last Saturday!

There's more info on the whole idear here:

http://www.transalt.org/issues/harborring

They're referring to a 'Harbor Ring' not something boring or boring through the Narrows.

I'll have to be the first one up so I can have a King of the Moutain on Strava!

Then I can go to the Cargo Cafe on Bay Street without the $50 toll or whatever it is.

vsk

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:43pm,

So much that I am now wealthy beyond my wildest dreams.

Sucker.

--Wildcat Etc.

Spokey said...

FredNifacent; Joe

the shopRite i reluctantly go to is hillsborough. it's been years since i hit the flemington one and i've only been to branchburg maybe once 2-3 years ago. maybe yours is better. but if wegman's on 202 is close enough (can't be much more than 3 miles from that branchburg shopRite), i find wegman's produce is not pre-rotted like shopRite's and every price i've ever checked was either the same or lower at wegman's. sometimes shopRite is cheaper when it is sale. plus the wegman cheese dept is pretty good.

Anonymous said...

Maybe ShopRite guy was merely undergoing an infarction (or heart attack) - that's whey he was cussing you out because you didn't help him.

On second thought - nah.

Anonymous said...

Riding in Phoenix is like riding through the world's largest strip mall. Probably because Phoenix has become one continuous strip mall from end to end.

West Phoenix into Sun city is trippy because you have blue hairs that can't see over the steering wheels of their giant Cadillacs slowly weaving through the blue hairs in golf carts.

Either way, it sucks and I'm not going back. PSA be damned.

P. Bateman said...

obviously you dream like poor people.

when i wake up from nightly wet dreams my bed is covered in crude oil - Texas Tea. that's dreaming big.

Anonymous said...

Bayonne Bride has a bike lane. Cross GWB, make your way south to Bayonne and you can get the bridge over the SI. A pretty good ride actually and a good excuse to visit the great island that is Staten.

JB said...

Anon @ 2:56pm: He's boycotting SI because the VN Bridge doesn't have a bike lane, not because there aren't any bike lanes crossing over to SI.

And also, possibly because SI is far away from where he lives (in Connect-i-cut) and he doesn't need to ride to SI.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:56pm,

Doesn't count if you can't ride there from NYC.

--Wildcat Etc.

BamaPhred said...

So, Leroy and Sir Snob, were you both feeling groovy on the 59th St Bridge? Oops, my age is showing, sorry for the lame corny reference.

And that is some nasty azz looking fish on the captcha

P. Bateman said...

dang it. just had to order headset spacers. my lovely new chubby bike that i decided to "slam" because of fashion over function...well, not working out so well for my back and hands.

now i'm gonna be like those old guys or like that one bike snob has that looks like the african gals with their neck rings.

thanks for working that hot bridgestone into the photos by the way.

Freddy Murcks said...

Hey Snob and Snob denizens -

You'll never guess, but a generic $7000 crapon fibre CX bike was given a "value" rating of 3.5/5. The VeloSnooze reviewer didn't even like that much because "not nimble enough for super-twisty tracks" (whatever the fuck that means). It's getting to the point that I think that CX racers are more ridiculous than hipster fixie riders, which I didn't really think was possible.

Freddy Murcks said...

Being neither Jewish nor a New Yorker, I didn't know what a Hatzoloh is. Nevertheless, I was glad to read the following:

"While established as a Jewish organization, supported by funds raised within the Jewish Community, and staffed by Orthodox Jewish Volunteers, West Side Hatzoloh nevertheless takes its communal responsibilities seriously and has never withheld its help from anyone who has either called its emergency number or flagged down one of its emergency vehicles."

Come now chaps said...

are you people really discussing grocery stores here?

Spokey said...


oh my lob

i'm not part of the solution, i'm part of the problem

what hath LOB wrought?

on bsnyc discussing central nj grocery stores. run away. the apocalypse.

bad boy of the north said...

bring back grand union.

DB said...

Thanks Freddy M. for that information.
Next time I'm in NYC and in trouble, I'll be looking for the Hatzolah Escalade.

Crosspalms: looks like no work will be accomplished tomorrow in Chicago if the score holds. Go for a ride.

DB said...

Rahm is at Wrigley.
The city is yours, Crosspalms.

DB said...

Rahm's smiling, Crosspalms.
Free parking tomorrow.

DB said...

Mets time.

Did I Get To Pick My Parents? said...

My father was Jewish and my mother was not, does that make me Jewish? I don't complain about the price of things or my health, so therefore I don't think I'm Jewish. I'm not sure if Hitler would agree with me though.

Anonymous said...

I encountered a photo/video shoot late at night on a bike path here in Minneapolis. They were also in the middle of the nearby road. A narrow curvy road where vehicles usually travel much faster than posted limits. Must have been an epic profile pic.

ken e. said...


STPD HTLR
DROV ASUV

JLRB said...

DB - So when did Eddie Vedder become such a jock sniffer? But congrats - I'm not bitter. Much.

Campbell fdy said...

That guy in front of Jimmys is not homeless exactly. He owns the, now, empty lot that he lives in. There was a bldg there once that was condemned & torn down. He wears those shorts year round. A little backround

John Elliss said...

Nice blog and good to see that there is wide interested public available for cycling. If you want to enjoy cycling holidays in spain than wait for right time. We have highly maintain track with affordable packages.

Spokey said...


what?

no post and it's gettin late in the day here in the hemorrhoids

and no, spain is right out for me.

JLRB said...

take your protein pills and put your helments on

Spokey said...

that's so old even i remember it.

Lester Bangs said...

Bowie's not real big on the long, arduous hours of disciplined craftsmanship; like Bob Dylan, he likes to just hit the studio, let the music appear magically in his head, cut it and run off to the next party.

FredNifacent said...

@Spokey & PBJ
rumor is the tour of somerville will be changed to the tour de grocery next year.

JB said...

Hey everyone, you probably need a grinduro bike!

Ryan said...

Is that a fancy trytranium bike I see?

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Nuha said...

Hey, that's me on the Bridgestone! Very nice to see you out there, and I'm glad I could fulfill a stereotype for you. The bike's a hand-me-down from my dad (who now rides a recumbent tricycle!!!) and he's pumped about this.

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