Friday, October 30, 2015

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

[Sound of creaking hinges.]


Sometime between now and the end of Store-Bought Costume Day tomorrow the Brooks England Blog will publish my Very Special Halloween-Themed Post, and I'll be sure to let you know the moment that happens.

In the meantime, let's get right down to the quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll be rewarded in the afterlife, and if you're wrong you'll see Sprocket Man.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and if you're looking for last-minute costume ideas for that irreverent cyclocross race this weekend here's something you shouldn't have too much of a hard time throwing together.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) The winner of the 2015 Gran Fondo New York was:

--Hired by Team Sky
--Ticketed for running a red light in Central Park
--Treated like a god in his native Colombia for winning the World's Most Prestigious Fred Ride

(All Hail Stock Photo Mountain Fred)

2) Older people who exercise have longer:


3) Fill in the blank for this Upper East Side bike lane kvetch:

"Adding crosstown bike lanes is like _________________."

--"...rewarding a spoiled child with a new toy when they misbehave"
--"...a visual cacophony"
--"...a dizzying type of vertigo"
--"...suturing a supermarket circular to your child's forehead"

4) According to news outlets, getting baked, stealing a snake, and then crashing your car into a firehouse when the snake attempts to strangle you while you're driving still qualifies as an "accident."


5) What is this?

--A fixed-gear braking system designed by architects
--A hand-strengthening system designed by physical therapists
--A bell-ringing system designed by campanologists
--A cockpit-mounted defense system designed by archers

(Give me adjustability or give me death.)

6) Finally!  Now you can adjust your ____ as you ride!

--Tire pressure

7) Where did Jesus get that great ass?

--Intense gym workouts
--His father, God, who has the greatest ass of all

***Special "Suck It, NPR"-Themed Bonus Video!***

This should be a stage of the Tour de France.


dop said...


Anonymous said...


dop said...

you can't spell podium without dop

Spokey said...


Spokey said...

screw you dop

samh said...

A possible Saturday post. Oh the horror!

Spokey said...

i apologize. just set me off taking my podi spot with that comment.

P. Bateman said...

whooooooop whooooooop

dop said...

looks like Ted K is having technical problems

Spokey said...

As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer

has snobbie always told us to think and then click? i may have found my problem

Cyber Killy said...

Damn i was counting on tedk to reach the top tennus.

JLRB said...

I aced the quiz but I doped.

Truly enjoyed the wrong answers - very funny stuuuf

By the way, some Brits temporarily in our 'hood got a huge kick out of Halloween last year - fun to see it through their eyes instead of my old jaded "get your candy and get the fuck off my porch" eyes - predicting the new Brooks post will be a smashing success

Bryan Bracy said...

Slow work internet speed caused my Cat 6 finish...

DB said...

What happened to Book Chat?

Enjoy taking your kids trick or treating in the cold and rain this weekend, Snob. It's been miserable here for 3 days.

N/A said...

"The Greatest Ass Of All" was one of my favorite songs in the 80's.

DB said...

I just checked your weather for Saturday.
You'll be fine.

dop said...

He calls himself sprocketman, but he's really chainring man. Must be an Elton John thing.

Anonymous said...


BamaPhred said...

That white guy posing as Jesus is my cousin. He's always riding my ass. How did he get on Bike Snob? I'm missing a sheet, too?

ken e. said...

undead vincent price, checking in!

McFly said...


McFly said...

The dop is on it. COD even @ #3.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...


Hee Haw the barista said...


Roille Figners said...

Halloween, better known as the Night of Kinky Sex with Chicks in Weird Outfits!

Roille Figners said...

Unless you're female in which case it's known as the Night if Kinky Sex with Dudes in Weird Outfits!

Roille Figners said...

Unless you're gay in which case, SWAP 'EM!

N/A said...

Halloween is apparently very very different in my part of the world, Roille.

Roille Figners said...

Unless you're a Chinaman in which case it will be known as 星期六 - Xīngqíliù (Saturday).

bad boy of cnj said...

Is the brooks post going to be a trick or a treat?

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, strange, no Ted today? I wonder what he's up to?

Mr. Pedantic said...

"He calls himself sprocketman, but he's really chainring man."

1. Assumingly because he has a chain ring on a chain around his neck? When you wear a tie are you tieman?

B. A chain ring is a type of sprocket.

III. Elton John rides a bicycle?

Brooks said...

Did not know about that "Sprocket Man" PSA -- but had a story on the CPSC's Sprocket Man "comic book" last month on The Retrogrouch. And yes, the name was inspired by Elton John.

streepo said...

May the flo be with you? Aunt Flo?

Spokey said...

dear mr pedantic

much as i hate to agree with dop on this day where he fuck-o(e)d me for a podi spot, dop is correct. common usage often differs with technical usage. in the biek-sickening parlance (common usage here), dop's differentiation between a chain ring and a sprocket is correct.

Mr. Semantic said...

Go get em!

George Jetson said...

Spacely Sprockets seems to be a recurring theme herein.

N/A said...

I've got pocket sprocket lockets in my sockets

Spokey said...

as i recall mr spacely used gawk at jane

Freddy Murcks said...

The Sprocket Man video may be the most egregious use of the Star Wars theme music that I have ever seen.

clyde said...

Wow scranus winner! ... Snob ... Boobs!

mikeweb said...

That tree ghost is leading an army of night walkers. Spooky...

balls™ said...

Great. You just had to put it in print! Now, the next beik kickstarter will be a device (machined from solid Ti) that lets you adjusts your tire pressure while you ride.

CJ will buy it.

JLRB said...


dop said...

Halloween is fun-filled here in the Sleepy Hollow area.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Cogswell Cogs.


N/A said...

I am just a cog in The Machine.

McFly said...

Some really spooktacular Last Minute Halloween Costume Ideas.

dop said...

It was a faux pas (fr) on my part to double post the podium. My joke could have waited for the top ten to fill out. All I can do now is offer to split my third place money with Spokey.

Picking nits about Sprocket v. Chainring is like the engineers in my family mansplaining concrete v. cement or speed vs velocity. (Thanksgiving dinner is coming. Must drink heavily). (or show everyone the entendre spitting video)

are you a cog or a pawn said...


N/A said...

Darby Mongo is just a cog in the (tattoo) machine.

leroy said...

The correct answer to Number 2:

Older people who exercise have longer....

Patience for "companion animal" leaking news of internal carbon fiber upgrades.

It's amazing the places my dog can talk his way into. Honestly, "Lab Assistant"? He doesn't even look like a lab.

Ride joyously all!

Spokey said...

thank-you for your gracious offer.

all i can say is "a gentleman must in all decency refuse your kind offer"

so please send my share to my paypal account.

ChamoisJuice said...

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Gives you a chance to display your sense of humor and creativity externally. Also, socially acceptable to wear tight pants. Parties are crazier, girls more uninhibited, when in costume.

Store bought costumes are weaker than buying a complete bike or system wheelset.

The Jehovah's Witness pot farmers do not celebrate Halloween, or any other pagan holiday like Christmas or Easter. They are required to proselytize non-believers, or face excommunication. Sadly, I had been the target of this preaching. On one hand, I like learning about kooked cultures, for my edification and bemusement. On the other, shit get's old really fast. I have taken to explaining my belief system as rebuttal. Man is an animal, not special. When you die, you die. Man's invention of a God that looks just like him was coincident with his invention of farming in the fertile crescent. Pagan hunter gathers value system is more ethical and rewarding than "civilized" man's. They have stopped trying to convert me.

There is a strong correlation between people who think Confederacy of Dunces is funniest book evar, and people who quote Monty Python incessantly.

Curbed Your Enthusiasm is genius.

Spokey said...


while i got number 6 correct after pulling an all-nighter studying and quaffing substances that bar me from entering the doping tent, i must assert that "d" is also a correct answer.

JLRB said...

McFly - thanks for that -

29 - yikes, but, yea yikes

31 - excellent old coppertone ad costume

37 - Winner

leroy said...

Dear Mr. CJ --

My dog observed that your non sequitur musings about your social encounters remind him of the guy in the Monty Python sketch asking "Is your wife a goer"?

Nudge Nudge

He asked me who was I going to believe, CJ or a talking dog?

Well, the answer was obvious.

Say no more.

Ride joyously all! That includes you too, CJ.

Spokey said...

i assume 31 is of course leroy's dog

McFly said...

Yeah I miss the old party days when honey would do the French Maid or Hot Nurse or Lady of the Night motif. Trick and Treat.

Freddy Murcks said...

Re: what Leroy said. CJ's comments are entirely made up stories about a thoroughly unlikable character. Unless you like short format fiction about the unbelievable adventures of a complete and total asshole, I would advise against wasting your time reading his drivel.

BikeSnobNYC said...


Halloween is my favorite holiday. Gives you a chance to display your sense of humor and creativity externally.

How original. Similarly, Internet commenting gives you a chance to compulsively express trite sentiments and uninteresting points of view.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

JLRB said...

pillows appear, then they disappear, then they come back - so very confusing

ChamoisJuice said...

OH YEAH? Well, you:
-are not very good at wheelies
-don't know how to set up a bit properly
-onegina sydrome
-still haven't broke into TV

<3 U BSNYC 8===D ~ ~ ~

There's tow options for my stories:
1. I have a vivid sense of imagination
2. I actually do some weird shit, and possess enough social awareness in real life to not get all Larry David and share things in polite company that make people I know and have to interact with on a regular basis uncomfortable. I GOTTA TELL SOMEBODY! This kills two stones: annoy testosterone deficient roadies. Cathartic release of behavior I do feel some shame and regret about.

A wink's as good as a nod to a blind bat said...

3. Nobody cares

know what I mean, know what I mean

Anonymous said...

comments I've posted, never meaning to send

K-Bo said...

CJ and TEDK should have a baby and raise it to start a competitive humor cycle blog.

Anonymous said...


P. Bateman said...

i just want to knock on a door and say trick or treat and have a hot girl say "trick" and then proceed to bang me for money.

COME ON halloween gods. let me have this.

ken e. said...

where is the up-vote button?

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

For next week's quiz, please link the wrong answers to CJ's 2:50pm comment. Being wrong on a quiz should hurt and man, does that comment hurt.

Ted K. said...

"CJ and TEDK should have a baby and raise it to start a competitive humor cycle blog."

What is this "humor" thing everyone keeps commenting about?

Roille Figners said...

CJ -

OH YEAH? Well, you:

-are not very good at wheelies

This should read, if I'm not mistaken,
OH YEAH? Well, you:

-are not very good at doing poppa-wheelies

Anonymous said...

Hey Brooks,

Thanks for the link to the Sprocketman comics.

Spokey said...

@Pathetic Old Cyclist

please link the wrong answers to CJ's 2:50pm comment.

not here in americer. violates amendment VIII

Unknown said...

I really like the term, campanologist. I also like campagnologist, and colognologist. And colonoscopies when performed "a letto" by an attractive woman.

JLRB said...

BikeSnobNYC said...

.... Internet commenting gives you a chance to compulsively express trite sentiments and uninteresting points of view.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

I resemble that remark

JLRB said...

where's my goddam coffee

P. Bateman said...

something smells a little fishy here in ...i think its all the tripe comments.

Roille Figners said...

I beg your pardon, those are chitlin comments!

CRAK LINS said...

Chitterlings, Please!

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