[Sound of creaking hinges.]
Sometime between now and the end of Store-Bought Costume Day tomorrow the Brooks England Blog will publish my Very Special Halloween-Themed Post, and I'll be sure to let you know the moment that happens.
In the meantime, let's get right down to the quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll be rewarded in the afterlife, and if you're wrong you'll see Sprocket Man.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and if you're looking for last-minute costume ideas for that irreverent cyclocross race this weekend here's something you shouldn't have too much of a hard time throwing together.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
1) The winner of the 2015 Gran Fondo New York was:
--Hired by Team Sky
--Ticketed for running a red light in Central Park
--Treated like a god in his native Colombia for winning the World's Most Prestigious Fred Ride
(All Hail Stock Photo Mountain Fred)
2) Older people who exercise have longer:
3) Fill in the blank for this Upper East Side bike lane kvetch:
"Adding crosstown bike lanes is like _________________."
--"...rewarding a spoiled child with a new toy when they misbehave"
--"...a visual cacophony"
--"...a dizzying type of vertigo"
--"...suturing a supermarket circular to your child's forehead"
4) According to news outlets, getting baked, stealing a snake, and then crashing your car into a firehouse when the snake attempts to strangle you while you're driving still qualifies as an "accident."
5) What is this?
--A fixed-gear braking system designed by architects
--A hand-strengthening system designed by physical therapists
--A bell-ringing system designed by campanologists
--A cockpit-mounted defense system designed by archers
(Give me adjustability or give me death.)
6) Finally! Now you can adjust your ____ as you ride!
7) Where did Jesus get that great ass?
--Intense gym workouts
--His father, God, who has the greatest ass of all
***Special "Suck It, NPR"-Themed Bonus Video!***
This should be a stage of the Tour de France.