Friday, October 16, 2015

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

(Note respective wheel sizes.  Humbling.)

Like Australia, New Zealand has a mandatory bicycle helme(n)t law, so I can only assume this contraption is a desperate attempt to skirt them:

Here in America, at one point or another we've attempted to ban everything from alcohol to homosexuality to abortion, and the results of such laws have been uniformly disastrous, for in every case they've forced people to go to dehumanizing extremes in order to circumvent them.

It's clear from the pathetic Levicle that helme(n)t laws are no exception.

Speaking of circumventing the onerous, apparently someone's starting a new cycling organization as an alternative to USA Cycling:

"North American Cycle Sport?"  That's rather cumbersome.  I just assumed it stood for "National Association of Canada's Scranus."

In an interview with Cyclingnews this week, Manning said NACS arose from concerns among a number of people in the cycling industry regarding the “direction that things were going” in the US, especially at the local and regional levels.

“Over the last several years we realized that maybe there was an opening for a different solution for grassroots cycling and the entire cycling community in the United States,” he said.

That's great an all, but you know what's also a good alternative to USA Cycling?

Riding your bike for free.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then WOW, and if you're wrong you'll see the sale of the (last) century.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and don't pay anyone to ride your bike this weekend.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) A church in Washington, D.C. objects to a bike lane because:

--It is dangerous
--It violates their constitutional rights
--Riding bikes?  That's for Mormons!
--It would obliterate an oil slick that looks like Jesus

2) The latest NYPD bike lane-blocking tactic is:

--Standing in them
--Putting barricades in them
--Painting reserved parking spaces for themselves in them
--Erecting statues of Ray Kelly in them

3) A Melbourne cyclist was fined $70 on Ride2Work Day for:

--Wearing her helme(n)t too loosely
--Wearing her helme(n)t backwards
--Wearing a helme(n)t more than three years old
--Not wearing a helme(n)t while walking her bike

("'Bum bag?!?'  That's 'hobo bindle,' thankyouverymuch!")

4) What is a "Race Face Rip Strip Bumbag?"

--A new tubeless tire conversion kit
--A combination fanny pack/girdle for mountain bikers
--A sex act that combines a "Cleveland Steamer" with a "Rusty Trombone"
--An Australian slur against New Zealanders

(Or possibly air-drying a booger...)

5) What is this rider doing?

--Listening to real-time instructions from his coach
--Operating his Fred glasses
--Shifting with his mind
--Attempting to discern the exact resonance frequency of his crabon bicycle frame

6) You can get in trouble for killing a cyclist with a truck in New York City, but at a minimum you have to have no license and be high on drugs.


7) What kind of bird is this?

--A red-tailed hawk
--A peregrine falcon
--A northeastern spotted turducken
--Sure, absolutely

***Special Victim-Blaming Propaganda-Themed Bonus Video!***

Summary:  "70 year-old man killed in a hit-and-run, now here are some bullshit statistics about helmets!"

Holy shit, that's just fucking offensive.


***Special Antidote To The Last Video-Themed Bonus Bonus Video!***

Endearingly soporific.


dana said...


dana said...


BamaPhred said...


Anonymous said...

Far too early.

Ted K. said...

67. Thus the power process is disrupted in our society through a deficiency of real goals and a deficiency of autonomy in the pursuit of goals. But it is also disrupted because of those human drives that fall into group 3: the drives that one cannot adequately satisfy no matter how much effort one makes. One of these drives is the need for security. Our lives depend on decisions made by other people; we have no control over these decisions and usually we do not even know the people who make them. (“We live in a world in which relatively few people—maybe 500 or 1,000—make the important decisions”—Philip B. Heymann of Harvard Law School, quoted by Anthony Lewis, New York Times, April 21, 1995.) Our lives depend on whether safety standards at a nuclear power plant are properly maintained; on how much pesticide is allowed to get into our food or how much pollution into our air; on how skillful (or incompetent) our doctor is; whether we lose or get a job may depend on decisions made by government economists or corporation executives; and so forth. Most individuals are not in a position to secure themselves against these threats to more [than] a very limited extent. The individual’s search for security is therefore frustrated, which leads to a sense of powerlessness.

N/A said...

Well happy friggin' Friday!

Anonymous said...

Extended podium?

Well surely time for Friday Drinks and Nibbles

Anonymous said...

Ahhh the early bird

P. Bateman said...

snob, thank you ever so much for that Levicle video. watching grown adults with their legs flailing this way and that on a balance bike/scooter is exactly what i needed to start my day.

i think BSNYC can probably be considered a cornerstone of a healthy breakfast.

K-Bo said...

Dude WTF. Trying to snooze bro.

Anonymous said...

Dripping scranarhoids

bad boy of the north said...'s "give away a free bike helme(n)t day",but only after you're recovering in the hospital?

Anonymous said...

I feel an immense bowel movement coming on...

Anonymous said...

Nothing says "This contraption is cool" more than footage shot at the ol' concrete skate park. Woo hoo!

crosspalms said...

"fellow toastmasters" and "holy moley" in a German accent -- that is pretty endearing.

Also good to know that if I wear a helmet I won't fall victim to a hit-and-run truck. Idiots.

Spokey said...

top - - looks like my bowling score

Anonymous said...


grog said...

What's wrong with my aluminum Trek made in China?

Spokey said...

Are police going to be sticking two fingers in between the strap and their chin?

sounds like a euphemism to me

P. Bateman said...



Everyday said...

Looked up turducken and was happy to learn learned something new. Looked up ""Rusty Trombone" and was less happy. Guess the the lesson here is not look up anything the Snob puts quote marks around....

leroy said...

"Endearingly soporific" ... something to aspire to.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Just Fridaying along.


bieks said...

Levicle: all of us oldentards who missed out on the balance bike, rejoice! Well, except for the dorky rollerblade rear wheel. And the dorky small front wheel. And the cramped cockpit. Oh never mind.

balls™ said...

Please stay on the line. Calls will be answered in the order received.

Happy Friday, scranus lovers.

From the Boonies Where There Aint No Bystanders said...

There is an attempted bicycle cockpit theft at 3:18 of this video, but more important is the first clip. Bystanders just watch and not helping, whether or not they saw the original incident. Must be NYC.

leroy said...

My dog doesn't get my sense of humor.

Oh well, ride soporifically endearingly all!

Anonymous said...

"5 On Your Side Investigator" report just like Bill O'Reilly is On Your Side. They are not.

the Jimboner said...

Killed the Quiz

Putting the "Ass" "Ass" back in Assassin

GreySpoke said...

I though for certain it was a Australian slur against New Zealanders

An Australian said...

"New Zealander" is enough of a slur.

nabra_nabra_hey said...

No mention of NABRA as an alternative to USACDF? They've been around for a while.

You Oregonians got it good with ur Portland and OBRA racing.

N/A said...

What about the North American Metal Bike Love Association?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I noticed that Jesus is not wearing a helmint. Wonder if that halo has a DOT certification.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Hey Sr. Snob,

Are you going to be verbally live blogulating at the Philly Bike Expo?


Florida Man said...

Is it all that surprising that these young ladies are not making enough money so they have to resort to stealing bikes?

JLRB said...


Anonymous said...

So you get hit by a car and end up in the hospital. A cop comes by and gives you a helmet? Almost as if he is saying, you should have been wearing one of these buddy, be careful next time. How about the mother fucking asshole in the car that hit him in he first place. It's almost like, "here, wear this, it will help the next time a car runs you over." Thanks dickhead! I will bring a bullet proof vest to your funeral if you ever get shot on the job.

Anonymous said...

nice, your child rides a Brompton. Thought he would have outgrown that by now?

Spokey said...

well i'll be a blue nose fuck-o. It's getting fuck-o cold out there. is it spring soon? is it stylish to wear red/black plaid flannels with a blue helment?

Roille Figners said...

Dude, get all Vedder with it.

Roille Figners said...

Can all the Kickstarters please stop with the long intros and the slow motion and the music and the flowery skirts and the dramatic drone footage? It doesn't hide what a turd your thing is, it just makes it take longer for me to see what a turd it is.

Anonymous said...

Thw post makes sense if you read it backwards.


P. Bateman said...

i'm okay with skirts though. i mean, i think we can all agree flowing or otherwise that skirts are never a problem.

Anonymous said...


Roille Figners said...

Well it's like the g-string socks. Tight lil' thong-cloven butts are great. It's the fact that they're trying to activate my penis wonder-powers when they are not needed.

Anonymous said...

"Oh yeah, also texting while driving is a little dangerous, too, but it is so much easier to talk about helm(n)t use instead, so we'll go with that Rachel."

Roille Figners' Penis said...


Fearless Curmudgeon said...

Kickstarter guy re-invented the velocipede 200 years after it was first made.

JLRB said...


P. Bateman said...

@anonymous - very good point. i definitely stand corrected. seems like a sensible outfit for a cold climate too. silly scots.

Dooth said...

The Levicle makes people look like giant creepy crawlers.

Spokey said...

i liked the treadmill bicycle better

ken e. said...

jesus crossing the finish better turn into a innernet meme. that's awesome.

Flying Western said...

What a sobering (I have only had one drink so far) meander through todays quiz. First, Thanks for the link to the western Flyer ad. It led me to this:

Anytime you see stats such as 33%, 50%, 66%, 75% you know the bullstuff is thick or n is either 3 or 4.

I did like the little story. One of the reasons I don't really like to go to my LBS. "I would never buy a tire for under $50!" Well dumbass, you have no idea what my constraints are or how I plan to use the bike.

Flying Western said...

Oh yeah, I did not see a mention of whether the woman who was killed by the trucker dude was wearing her cascaron or not. It only mentioned that she received severe head injuries. So remember young perspiring journalist, only include information that fits the desired narrative. You can have that tip for free.

How come a watch is not considered furniture, Mr. Captcha? I have sat on mine plenty of times.

A Bessed Cheesemaker said...

Hey Jesus on a Bike, is that a helment around your head or are you happy to see us?

EricBikeCO said...

We already have racing things on Colorado, both suck, neither stops doping Cat4s being dicks while racing to finish 97th.

Not Just Kickstarter said...

Anonymous said...

These kickstarters raised >$US 200,000 for their "bicycle"

..and then came to their senses. They canceled the project and (apparently) returned the money.

Captain Cooked said...

Was there ever an Old Zealand?

Ric said...

Let Levicle ride.

Blank said...

Comment Fiekd can not be

Arizona redneck said...

Ted K. for President!

Anonymous said...

Lantern rouge...

Olaf said...

Who is this Viking looking dude Snob keeps posting as Jesus? I don't know what a first century Semite looks like, but I'm willing to guess not this guy. Also, he doesn't look like the Jesus's I work with every day. Poser. Anyway, I'm renaming this guy Yngvar, cause he looks like my cousin

Cornelis Lely said...

Ja, in onze provincie.

Cornelis Lely said...

"Was there ever an Old Zealand?"

Ja, in onze provincie.

Anonymous said...

"I would never buy a tire for under $50."

A: "Yeah well I would never work as a bike mechanic but that doesn't really tell us anything now does it."

A: "If you're trying to say you're not me, I agree."

A: "Oh, are you in the market for a tire? SO AM I!! Let's team up and try to find a competent salesman."

Spokey said...

i've never paid as much as $50 for a tire. but i only get 3-4 years out of a tire and i get flats as often as 1 a year. some years i've gotten more than 1.

Freddy Murcks said...

The Trek Boone, as tested, is $6500, but it's a great value. Unfortunately, however, the rear wheel doesn't have a thru axle and it doesn't use "boost" 142x12 spacing.

Ed Rush's Ghost said...

I saw that same VeloSnooze. At first I thought Trek was using QR so people could use their old wheel sets. Then I saw it was both 11 sp and a Thru axle on front. Silly me.
But in keeping with Snob's current Jesus theme, and the cold and travel cross demands, the real deal breaker was no plastic Jesus on the handle bar.
"I don't care if it rains or freezes
Just as long as I got plastic Jesus
Riding on the cockpit of my Boone
Thru all my trials and tribulations
In my travels thru the nations
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

I don't care if it rains or freezes
Just as long as I got plastic Jesus
Riding on the cockpit of my Boone
You can buy him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, pink and pleasant
Take him with you when you travel far"

Captain Cooked said...

Cornelis Lely, thanks for that, too bad they didn't found a New Amsterdam while they were at it.

Mike Sinyard said...

Using old wheelsets on a new bike!?! Pffft. Backwards compatibility is for sissies.

What a fucking idiot said...

Mr BSNYC you may well mock the Victorian Police and their efforts to protect the cycling public but as one astute reader of the linked article noted:-

"One commenter noted Italian cyclists do not wear helmets. Are you all sitting down?

In 2012, 186,726 deaths occurred on Italian roads with another 264,716 injured.
Of the staggering 186,726 deaths, 9336 were of them were cyclists.

Take a second to absorb those figures from 3 years ago. All those deaths and injuries - just over 450,000 in a country around the same land mass as Victoria.

The girl who was issued a fine should be saying a big thank you to the police. That $70 fine and the stats I provided here may be the wake up call she and most certainly some of readers here need."

As they say no point in arguing with fools as they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

And have no doubt Australia is full of fools (as the above comment shows) which is why the helmet laws will not be repealed - no they will be championed by every fat fuck-o who absolutely knows that riding a bike without a helmet on will result in certain death and they don't pay rego anyway, so get off the fucking road.

wishiwasmerckx said...

The US, a country of 330 million people, experiences approx 30,000 traffic-related fatalities a year. I call bullshit on your 186,726 annual deaths on Italian roads, Mr. made-up statistics.

What a fucking idiot said...

Of course those numbers are completely fucking ridiculous but that doesn't mean "Martin" and his ilk at the linked article don't wheel out tripe and subsequently use it to justify fining people.

The point being that stupid fat fuck-o Australians defend their indefensible helmet law by making up and then believing ludicrous "statistics". (85% of cyclist deaths are prevented by wearing foam hats springs to mind).

Dumb loose strap helmet fine and associated nonsense

BikeSnobNYC said...

What a fucking idiot,

How stupid are you? The entire EU has seen only a fraction of that number. Italy is something like 300 cyclists a year--still too many, but about the number of cyclisits and peds we manage to kill here in NYC alone.

--Wildcat Etc.

Geotony said...

Copenhagen - spot the helme(n)t

Presumably they are all doomed.

What a fucking idiot said...

@BSNYC, The fact of the matter is those imaginary numbers aren't mine - they are from "Martin" in the comments at the article you linked to about the Victorian police fining a lady for wearing her mandatory helmet too loosely.

Unfortunately "Martin's" comment is what passes for informed dialogue in the Land Down Under.

BTW, How stupid am I? To paraphrase Bertrand Russell, I am not so foolish as not to doubt how stupid I may be.

BamaPhred said...

This is why I bear spray instead of shoot. it only takes once.. Even the hateful pit bull charges out to the road, gets my scent, and says excuse me, I thought you were someone else, have a nice day. I understand dog also, Leroy.

BikeSnobNYC said...

What a fucking idiot,

Ah, thanks for clarifying!

--Wildcat Etc.

Freddy Murcks said...

Hi Snob - I thought I'd pass this on. The attached article is about a friend of mine from college, Alicia Heyburn. She lives in Maine and she's sort of refashioned herself as a bike advocate (she's completely fucking loaded, so she can afford to do that). One of the more interesting aspects of the article is the picture in which Alicia is riding her bike without a helme(n)t and the complete lack of helme(n)t histrionics.

Spokey said...


completely understandable. when i am loaded i do all sorts of goofy stuff. i'm sure many others do as well.

Silvia Taiè said...

Hi! Do you know any urban biker community in Europe? Thanks!

Google Translate said...

Buon giorno, principessa Silvia!

Roille Figners said...

And lo, did he heal them there and thence unto the land of the Levicles and Pharisees where he stayed three days walking among the lepers.

BamaPhred said...

Everybody must be at the Cubs/Mets. A talking dog shouldn't be all that hard to spot, I guess I'll watch some of the game. My team started its post season collapse early, shortly after the AllStar break.

Spokey said...

i'm hiding out in me cave. spousy is in there watching some bazeball game and flipping to some foozeball game.

i'm getting loaded on woodford reserve so i can pretend to be a bieksickle ad-voekate

bad boy of the north said...

welcome all to a chilly morn,here in the way northern burbs of nyc.

bad boy of the north said...

it even snowed(?),really kinda flurried,here yesterday,when it was in the 40s(degrees American).

Spokey said...

we had no degrees (cannuck) this morning. i guess i'm gonna have to start thinking about the tour de basement soon.

JLRB said...

It is difficult to flip the bird when wearing lobster-style gloves

Ranger Dick said...

Don't molest the birds and other wildlife. They probably don't want to be flipped.

Anonymous said...

idiots are stupid?

bad boy of the north said...

time to move south.but where?

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