Saturday, October 31, 2015

BOO! Halloween Post On The Brooks England Blog!


(Ooh, I'm sooo scared.)

Yesterday I promised to let you know just as soon as Brooks had published my Halloween post on their Internet blog.

Well now they have, and so here I am (on a SATURDAY no less!) making good on that promise:


(Click here...if you dare!)

So go read it, then go ride your bike, and then disappoint the hell out of the neighborhood trick-or-treaters later today by handing out energy gel packets instead of candy:


Though you should expect a retaliatory egg strike if you do.

See you back here on Monday.

Happy Halloweening,


--Wildcat Rock Machine

70 comments:

McFly said...

Top O' the marnin' to ya.

McFly said...

IIIIIIIIIIII want Caaaaaaaaaannndeeeeeeeee.

McFly said...

Due to the fact that this is a transitional blogular posting it feels likea hollow victory.

N/A said...

Happy hollow weenie!

N/A said...

Uh, who approved Wildcat's overtime?

Ted K. said...

74. We suggest that modern man’s obsession with longevity, and with maintaining physical vigor and sexual attractiveness to an advanced age, is a symptom of unfulfillment resulting from deprivation with respect to the power process. The “mid-life crisis” also is such a symptom. So is the lack of interest in having children that is fairly common in modern society but almost unheard-of in primitive societies.

David Byrnes Hyundai said...

Dear Dave, is there still a party in your mind? If there is, do you still hope it never stops?

really???? said...

Ted K on a Saturday? Insufferable psycho. As for Halloween handouts were going with fried eggs and beer.

Dr. Feel said...

What about modern women Teddy? They also have an obsession with longevity. They say size doesn't matter....they say that to men with smallish willys.

Anonymous said...

Top tense!

leroy said...

Asked my dog to check for a new post this morning.

He asked if it looked like he was wearing a shabbos goy costume.

I let it slide. On Halloween, everybody thinks a talking dog is someone with a really really good costume.

He fetches his weight in mini peanut butter cups.

He usually shares.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Saturday Scranus.

Pedantic Twat said...

Although Sleepy Hollow was the traditional name for the neighborhood, until '96 it was officially called, 'North Tarrytown'. Besides the free marketing from the old story, some people didn't like being Tarrytown's northern annex. Others hate the new name & sport 'North Tarrytown Forever' bumper stickers.

ps I suspect BSNYC rides to Ridgecrest Mall, brings gyros home from the Lefteri's there to his 17 children & pretends he went all the way to Tarrytown.

In Bed said...

Now we know Ted K works on Saturdays. Boo.

The Scarecrows like American Pie said...

The best thing about being a Headless Horseman is that no one is going to whine about you not wearing a hell-ment. Oh and being a helmetless bicyclist: not remotely scary....

Spokey said...


well i'll be. here i was thinking the saturday post was just an idle threat. now that i see it exists, i'll reclassify it as a halloween prank.

Spokey said...


does the typical brit reader know about the revolution? i thought they called it the rebellion. or maybe the big whiner rebellion. or something like that.

perhaps footnotes should be used when posting over there.

oh, and it was cold as . . . outside this morn.

DB said...

This just makes Saturday even better!
Thanks, Snob.

Vote Early and Vote Often said...

Rob Ford riding a bike, now that would be a scary Halloween picture.

Anonymous said...

It's Halloween, and your cell phone rings (or squeals, or barks, or whatever) and you see it's a message from Anthony Weiner, with a picture attached, do you open it? Remember it's Halloween, when really scary things are seen.

BamaPhred said...

These mini travelogues are always great. Makes me want to jump into the F150 that I actually own, drive to the Hudson Valley, and tour. But I only delude myself. I would find myself lost, naked, and freezing after the first day, ala George in a Seinfeld episode.

BamaPhred said...

Oh, and Happy Halloween. if you hand out energy gels and later find a burning sack on your porch, stoop, etc don't stomp on it!

Anonymous said...

My sack was burning after that time I got busy with Dorothy Rabinowitz. Talk about your wildcats...

Old timer said...

Uh, I’m so confused. A Saturday BSNYC? And Halloween! And the time changes tonight/tomorrow morning? Think I’ll raid the candy bowl. Again. That’ll clear things up a little.

Spokey said...

everyone have a solemn All Hallows' Evening

even though it be cold as a

   witches boobies
            witches boobies
                     witches boobies
            witches boobies
   witches boobies

bad boy of the north said...

Hey!pizza barn!good pizza.at least it was when i worked that part of the lower hudson valley.happy hallow's eve,all.

Hee Haw the Barista said...

HALO WEEN

Grump said...

Pretty good, Snobby.

Since I posted on the Brooks site, will I have to pay a Stamp Tax?

Give me Liberty, or give me a Hangnail.

Roille Figners said...

Hey! Lyndhurst scarecrow army = SHIRT SHOPPING!! HELL-looo!!

I do enjoy the old-timey talk about how the prudent shipmasters must shorten sail thereupon and so forth. Perhaps I should actually spend a bit of this Halloween reading said story. I shall endeavor to do so forthwith. It's something to do quietly while hiding from the children, OH GOD, THE CHILDREN!!!!

Youarewelcome said...

http://youtu.be/nQB4nAjZIdE

Anonymous said...

Babble on Wreck Beach taking selfies; now that's a treat, not a trick.

dnk said...

Fuck. A driver careens into trick-or-treaters in the Bronx. Kills three.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I couldn't read it yesterday, observing Shabbot. Who ever heard of blogging on Saturday?

BamaPhred said...

It's a slow day. Enjoying my post Halloween sugar buzz. It stormed so I have to eat all of this left over candy before it goes bad. That's my story, anyway.

JLRB said...

My comment is awaiting moderation, like the soul of the headless horseman.

DNK - that is awful

dop said...

Why is Jesus rising from that tree in the picture? Is it Easter today & I missed it? Does he trick or trick in a Jesus costume? Was he in Mexico for the Day of the Dead?

dop said...

looks like those twats at brooks don't moderate on weekends

ken e. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ken e. said...

take two.
shameless vancouver (bc) plug people: city has a tenth avenue bike route questionaire up. derp

Spokey said...

shameless vancouver (bc) plug people

what the hell are plug people? and why are they shameless?

Roille Figners said...

Well I read it - the actual real Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Better late than never. I didn't see the Tim Burton one, but I feel like I could now make a wager that it was probably a huge turd!

ken e. said...

punctuation was never my forté, nor spelling. (at least my own, i can peddle a bike though. anyone want to buy an apollo?)

ken e. said...

more coffee does not make for more wits.

DB said...

Have fun trying to bike through the marathon today New Yorkers.

babble on said...

I love your travelogues, too, snobbydoo. Heh heh heh. You rock.

I had trouble with my derailleur and missed my cherished weekend Vets ride, but just after I turned back for home, I unexpectedly found something I'd sorely been missing, and then the weather turned from cool and dry (with wet leafy roads) to wet wet wet and super yucky so it worked out for the best. :)

I rode joyfully Saturday, though. (Thank you, Leroy!) We met up with a few guys from one of the racing clubs in town and logged more than seventy miles at eighteen miles per hour. I love how many fast freds there are in this town. And they are all quite welcoming to anyone wearing an Escape Velocity jersey cause ours is the club that hosts the lion's share of the races. I have made so many good friends through this sport.

Um, excuse me Mr Snob? That world's tallest cat tower? Please tell me that it's a tree stump and the unfortunate victim of a pruner gone wild, instead of a tower constructed of some other substrate designed and built to look like that. It would satisfy my need for reason. Well, and failing that, I would be satisfied to learn that the damned thing did, in fact, have carpet on it. Though I can't hazard a guess as to what those swirls at the top might be made of. That thing really is the stuff of nightmares. Cats are a reason, and if it were cats, well... I guess it would say a lot about how important to that household its feline inhabitants are.

You rock, snobbydoobydoo. I always get a chuckle out of your work. Thank you for making the world a better place.
Sending love to you and yours from the other side of the continent. :) xo

babble on said...

ps big, juicy podium kisses, McFly. XXXXX

Cause I know you won fair and square. All of your brand of dope is on the table here in the comments.

BamaPhred said...

Speaking of fuck-o's, this house, owned by a guy named House, a louse, is on one of my loops. I stopped to drink some water and eat a bar near the maintenance entrance one day and the security force ran me off. They quit counting how much it cost to build, after over $30 Million Murican fun tickets. Of course they all went bankrupt. It could have been yours yesterday for $4 million. It sold at absolute auction, no reserve. PS This guy paid 0 dollars in property taxes, apparently he was exempt. Go figure.

Cyber Killy said...

snobbers this is way 2spooky4me i dont even have my spookines drugs on me im dropping out for now till i can dope accordingly.

Spokey said...


looked at that house / driveway and though something was missing. but i guess larry wasn't fretting it any.

DB said...

Spent all weekend looking for pictures of Babble on the beach.
Denied!

McFly said...

I like em big-n-juicy. Got the Kona Hei Hei fully operational. That fucker is sweet.

DB said...

Medical marijuana stores to open in Illinois in two weeks.
Don't expect much brilliant conversation from Crosspalms and me.

dop said...

Bama-

They obviously thought you were going to steal the house & ride away with it.

Holy Roller said...

Sometimes I ask myself, what sort of costume would Jesus don for Halloween? I think He'd just cut some eyes out of an old sheet and go as the Holy Ghost. Then sometimes I ask myself, what sort of candy would he crave from his loot bag and what sort of candy would he just just leave until the Passover or something? I wish the Good Book gave us more 'real world' answers.

ChamoisJuice said...

Hola,
Halloween was fun. Hallucenogens, road bikes, practical bikes, getting loose in the muddy woods, live music, dance parties, art freaks, run ins with the law. but thats boring.

Bikesnob's boring ride report reminds me of a story. Bout 3 years ago, weds or thurs night, Rare Hot Redhead txts me at 12:30, "@hipster dive bar. I gotta work at 7am, but we been broke up, and she only txts me once a month or so, after midnight, so I jump out of bed, throw on button up and nice jeans and drive down there.

She's with her bestie, moon faced, troubled artist type. And this hipster douchebag, people only hang out with because he provides party favors. Bestie wants to take hipster bearded bartender with sleeves home, so we shut down the bar, and take beardo with us to afterparty at hipster douchebag's house, to drink Jameson and do coke.

HipsterDB has a party spot in his bedroom with bigscreen TV, bumpin' stereo, computater hooked up, and microphone, for awesome Kaoroke setup. The girls start singing. Bearded, sleeved hipster bartender puts on Don Mclean, American Pie. :/ I'm not sure if this was ironic or what, but it is the worst kaoroke song evar. 10 mins long, people know the chorus, so think they know the song, but then theres 400 random lyrics that are just painful for everyone involved.

I commandeered control of the youtoobs, and put on Simon & Garfunkel - Cecilia and the three of us belted our hearts out into a shared pic. Later, Bestie told me, she felt like we were all falling in love.
Rare Hot Redhead and I made out on the bed. So did bestie and bartender. I kept trying to get RHR to go home with me, but she kept playing coy.

The clock kept ticking later, and I was doing calculations in my head about how much time I had to drive home, BONEZONE, and get to work. But, RHR was in a teasing mood. As the minutes ticked on, I hot

Around 5:45 am or so, RHR, went to the lav. I followed her in a minute later. I took out my schmeckle, and she gave me a balogne wash while sitting on the toilet.. Not poopin', no reverse blumpikin. She got up and bent over the sink.

She let herself out. Hipster douchebag "where have you been? Where's CJ?" Stepped out from the head, "gotta to work!" and drove straight to my soul sucking engineering job and make 3 pots of coffee, and listened to simon and garfunkel all day, and didn't make shit for bikesnob comments... maybe NOSL EEP!

To this day, I get a raging erection, when I listen to that Cecilia song.

Anonymous said...

Lantern rouge. Good bye Halloween weekend. Hello Monday!!!!

ChamoisJuice said...

*karaoke
*mic
*bologna
*blumpkin

ChamoisJuice late nite karaoke dance party sexy time play list.
Simon & Garfunkel - Cecilia (With Lyrics)

John Prine and Iris DeMent - In Spite Of Ourselves - Karaoke
Hipster bros had never heard this tune b4. "Why have I never heard this dood?" Because your taste in music sucks, and your friends suck, that's why.

Then I put on weird dance music with overtly sexual videos.
Benny Benassi Satisfaction HD
Fedde Le Grand - 'Put Your Hands Up For Detroit' (Official Video)
Aphex Twin - Window Licker
My Dick - Mickey Avalon (Lyrics)

BamaPhredEarlyEdition said...

Yes Spokey they don't want riffraff hanging around. This development hosted PGA events until some controversy seeking news media showed up and the residents voted to not host anymore PGA events. When Michael Jordan played baseball for one season this gated community is where he lived. You may as well try hanging out in front of Augusta National. But the county highway is a great place to ride. Just don't stop. Actually, given my perverse bent nature, I almost always stop in front of the guard house and futz with something on my bike, just because I can, I guess. It's not like I'm the only one riding that highway. It's a regular fred zone.

P. Bateman said...

a saturday post? Snob, thought you couldn't use technology on saturdays?

that was a spooktacular ride though the sleepy holler. looks rather pretty up thar.

saw the news about that car mowing down trick or treaters. and of course it said no charges have been filed. i will say, the think the driver had a stroke or some medical emergency, so not the typical drunk driving or gas/brake mix up...so its definitely still a crash, but do instances of medical emergencies like that indeed fall under the category of freak accident? i dont know - sad story though.

in much happier news baseball is finally done. thank god.

Spokey said...


hello peoples

hey

i saved some time this saturday. so if anyone needs to borrow an hour, let me know. it's very dark though so maybe not that useful.

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