(Disembodied hands pushing plastic discs to which are assigned monetary value across a green felt surface.)
So what's that mean? Well, it means that after today this blog is going on High Ate Us until TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1st, 2025!
Sorry, I meant TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1st, 2015!
See, by faking you out like that I make the High Ate Us seem shorter than it actually is.
Don't worry, you'll manage.
In the meantime, you can rest assured that bicycles are destroying the very fabric of society, and the latest indication of this is that adorable pugs are now dying because of them:
After they had finally pulled the ferocious pit off of Sidney, the pug was left with a huge flap of skin hanging gruesomely from her ravaged neck. A man volunteered to drive Bayley and the wounded pooch up to the vet, Blue Pearl, at W. 15th St. and Fifth Ave.; but he couldn’t go crosstown due to the Summer Streets program, which had closed Fourth and Lafayette Aves. to traffic, so cyclists and pedestrians could enjoy car-free streets.
“The guy was screaming, ‘It’s an emergency! The dog’s dying!’ ” she said.
Look at them all enjoying themselves while a pug's life hangs in the balance, it's disgusting:
By the way, cycling with a helme(n)t but without a shir(n)t should be at least a criminal misdemeanor. It's like wearing a condom while performing unprotected oral sex.
In happier news, Brooks is working on a new version of the Cambium saddle, and if you--yes, YOU!--would like a chance to become a tester then click here (or else on the picture below):
(They misspelled "Bacon The Rivet.")
Of course keep in mind that saddle testing is a risky business, so I assume Brooks will make you sign a waiver that says you can't sue them if you become impotent:
("So far it hasn't been a problem.")
I must say that I'm a tremendous fan of the Cambium (I use the C17):
Which is why I use one on each of my bicycles that has curved-type handlebars like they use in the Tour de France:
I know my equipment choices mean a lot to you, because of you read this blog for my incredible cycling prowess and not for the silly words and pictures.
I suck at bikes and we all know it.
But I suck comfortably and stylishly, because I use a Cambium.
Speaking of bikes with curved-type handlebars like they use in the Tour de France, yesterday morning I was riding the Milwaukee one that you see above (which I still love, by the way) when I noticed this as I passed through Yonkers:
I'm not sure what happened, but I'd guess that the driver who caused this damage sideswiped this truck:
Veered across the street (note the tire tracks):
Mounted the sidewalk:
And then who knows.
Must have been one of those pesky stuck accelerator pedals you're always reading about.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know it, and if you're wrong you'll see when trees attack.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and be sure to fritter away the remainder of August as frivolously as possible.
See you back here on Tuesday, September 1st.
I Love You,
--Wildcat Rock Machine
PS: Remember, as per my NYC Century preview last Friday, today's the last day to register for the ride before the price increase on the 18th! I may even try to do the ride myself, pending the results of my B sample.
1) Mountain Goat Freds--it had to happen.
2) What is this symbol called?
--The Hairy Hand of Fred-dom
3) How many motor vehicle deaths are there annually in the United States?
--None, driving is the only safe and sensible mode of transport
4) "Griller le feu" is a French colloquialism meaning:
--To run a red light
--To win a Cat 6 sprint
--To get your pant leg caught in your chain
(To access bicycle, raise lock to your lips and blow.)
5) According to some tech blogger, drunk cyclists are just as dangerous as drunk drivers.
6) The World Speed Record by bike is approximately:
--Fred "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" speed times three
--All of the above
7) Giuliano Calore is the king of no-handed riding.
8) Rodney Hines is the king of no-handed riding.
***Special Helme(n)t-Themed Bonus Video***
(Contains some NSFW language)
Those helme(n)t laws sure come in handy, don't they?