Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Almost There: You're Just One More Click Away From Today's Fun-Tackular Post!

Because I live to inconvenience you, you're going to have to click or tap your computing device, smarting phone, or futuristic space watch ONE MORE TIME, because today's post is over at Old Man Brooks's thatched roof cottage:


(If that wasn't clear enough for you, click HERE.)

Read it, love it, commit it to memory, and set it to music.

Then we'll all meet back here tomorrow for the usual routine.

Your's Truley,


--Wildcat Rock Machine


PS: If you emailed me about the Gran Fondon't, rest assured you can expect a reply in the not-too-distant future, though probably not today.

83 comments:

Dop said...

Polio fred

Anonymous said...

PODI-YO

James said...

Third. Scrodium.

Ted K. said...

11. When someone interprets as derogatory almost anything that is said about him (or about groups with whom he identifies) we conclude that he has inferiority feelings or low self-esteem. This tendency is pronounced among minority rights activists, whether or not they belong to the minority groups whose rights they defend. They are hypersensitive about the words used to designate minorities and about anything that is said concerning minorities. The terms “negro,” “oriental,” “handicapped” [deletion] for an African, an Asian, a disabled person [deletion] originally had no derogatory connotation. [deletion] The negative connotations have been attached to these terms by the activists themselves. Some animal rights activists have gone so far as to reject the word “pet” and insist on its replacement by “animal companion.” Leftish anthropologists go to great lengths to avoid saying anything about primitive peoples that could conceivably be interpreted as negative. They want to replace the world “primitive” by “nonliterate.” They seem almost paranoid about anything that might suggest that any primitive culture is inferior to our own. (We do not mean to imply that primitive cultures ARE inferior to ours. We merely point out the hypersensitivity of leftish anthropologists.)

PotbellyJoe said...

It's not click-routing, it being multi-bloggular

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten again.

Anonymous said...

Imodium

bad boy of the north said...

in early...the singles.roboburrito.

Anonymous said...

"Your's Truley"

HA! I see what you did there...

RoadQueen said...

I read Fun-Tackular but at first it didn't look like Fun-Tackular. I read it as something else.

*blushes*

Anonymous said...

RQ needs serviced^^^^

Freddy Murcks said...

Snob - your ability to ramble on about largely nothing is unparallelled. Although I suppose that as a semi-professional and (I assume) reasonably well paid bike blogger, that's basically your job description. Good work, sir.

Bryan said...

Well, you gave us lots of boobies...

RoadQueen said...

Anon @ 10:14 - Always. :/

Kraig said...

I feel a feel in time gone by
When hope was young
And life worth living

DB said...

Well done, Sir.

Anonymous said...

I'm never buying a used saddle from ayone in Portland.

Vernal Magina said...

Lolz, you said tetards.

Anonymous said...

Hey, where'd everybody go?

bad boy of the north said...

I'm surprised that you weren't mugged on the way to the "old hood".bread

Grump said...

Good one Snobby.

Anonymous said...

What kind of bike did you have as a kid? I had a sweet purple metalflake Schwinn Sting Ray with a wheelie bar and a plastic Mattel Vroom motor.

BSNYC Historian said...

”What kind of bike did you have as a kid?”

This.

Seen (amoung other places) here.

Anonymous said...

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Fixie-Pizza-Cutter-Miniature-Bike-Aluminum-Alloy-Stainless-Steel-Fun-Gift-Kitche-/351334041718?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item51cd240876

Texas John Slaughter said...

How many guns will I be allowed to conceal/carry at the Fondon't? I need at least three. Is 500 rounds of ammo too much?

DB said...

Side note:
Spent weekend in Madison. If that city isn't named Number One Bike Town in the USA next year, then the voting is fixed (sorry Leroy's Dog, I know that term is painful for you).

With Lightning Balls Under My Saddle said...

27th after leading out the sprinters, same time though.

DR. s Rx, More Esteogen said...

Road Queen rode back into the comments yesterday. Cool!

BikeSnobNYC said...

DB,

I agree completely.

--Wildcat Etc.

P. Bateman said...

fun little adventure today. i like this travel blog.

love the pics of the old bmx by mr. BSNYC Historian. reminded me of my first bike that wasn't a big wheel, the incredible Free Spirit FS 250. broke my head open on that bad boy. good good times riding that thing.

http://bmxmuseum.com/bikes/free_spirit/46369

DB said...

Side note #2:
So, if you beat the shit out of your girlfriend it's a two game suspension, but if you let some air out of a football, it's a four game suspension and a million dollar fine.
Okay. Priorities straight.
Way to go, NFL.

Taxi Driver said...

"...it’s also a great place to get ticks:"

I've heard it's a great place to pickup tricks too.

Blog Drafter said...

Childhood sucks. Personally, I wouldn't do it again even if I could.

McFly said...

That was a very touching and cool story. Except for the Golden Shower chapter.

You must've attended elementary school with R. Kelly.

Anonymous said...

Are Brooks paying you by the photo?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:13pm,

GOOD ONE!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Vernal Magina said...

I think the correct grammer would be "Is Brooks paying you..."

no?

RoadQueen said...

@Texas John Slaughter - Make sure you bring your Bob trailer. Or ride a Big Dummy.

Whatever you do, don't BE a Big Dummy and try to stash your ammo in your jersey pocket. Hilarity may ensue at your expense.

Anonymous 1:13pm said...

LOL. I only said that to annoy you. Hook, line & sinker. Keep up the good work

Serenity now said...

It's bike month or whatever here in NYC, America's Greatest Cycling City. Went for my usual morning ride yesterday, from where I live which involves heading north cross the GWB and riding into the Palisades interstate park and back. So the south lane on the bridge is STILL FUCKING CLOSED during the week, so then, as you pointed out a few weeks ago here, you have to take the north lane which sucks with all of the stairs. Then I make my way down to the park (in NJ), which is fucking closed for road work, which was supposed to be completed back in Fucking February (as noted here recently). So at that point I'm pretty defeated so head back home. So why would NYC opt to begin a large construction project on the south lane of the bridge, which is widely used by cyclists at the height of the season (I ride there year round and the south lane was always open in the dead of winter). Because they don't give a flying fuck about cyclist. It gets worse. So I was riding home last night from work up the Hudson Greenway, which notwithstanding a bunch of Cat 6 morons, is quite lovely nice views of the river, gentle breezes, et fucking cetera. Then I hit a detour sign where the bike lane is closed off for more construction (of course they would wait to do it on Bike month). So off the bike, on the walking path, back onto the bike path ride about another mile and another part of the fucking path is closed for some kind of construction. Repeat. Enraged was I. NYC's relationship with its cyclists is about as harmonious as my mother's second marriage, which is to say filled with mutual hate and crippling dysfunction. America's best bike city my fucking ass. It sucks here to be a cyclists. The streets are fucking dangerous, Central Park has been rendered basically unusable by the crowds and the NYPD ongoing bike crack down and when you try to escape this, the City has closed off all of the fucking escape routes from the City. Fucking fuck!

RoadQueen said...

My first two-wheeled bike was one of THESE

All I needed to complete the badassedness was a set of glowing balls.

dop said...

damn auto correct...podio fred became polio fred

the_other_key said...

leftish anthropologists

I thought I saw them open for the Black Keys...

Needs work.

dop said...

I spied a pentelhudas...some of those ladies in Portland hadn't chamfered...

PotbellyJoe said...

@DP,

If the NFL, and all pro sports have taught us nothing else, it's that the worst thing you can do in life is bend the rules too far. Bend them just slightly and you will be a champion.

How far is too far?

They'll let you know once you've done it.

Other than that, it's fair game.

I love pro sports and this ruling really irked me. You give the teams all of the ability to cheat with the balls and yet nail them to the wall for their refusal to self-incriminate. Baseball, which is entirely built around minute changes to grasp an edge, does not give the teams a chance to doctor the balls. Hockey, which occasionally you will hear, "That was a good penalty to take." does not let the teams alter the pucks. I can go on, but the point is, the NFL welcomes and encourages teams to alter the balls how they want and then flips out when someone gets caught taking it too far.

Stupid. And I'm a Bears fan.

babble on said...

My God we missed you, Road Queen. Welcome home. xo

PotbellyJoe said...

And then for Goodell to come out and say, "I agree with Troy Vincent's decision." Like he had nothing to do with it. That's even stupider.

As if Troy Vincent could write this vindictive of a punishment without any input from Roger "Punch your wife, but don't be 1 PSI light in your balls" Goodell is laughable.

PotbellyJoe said...

<a href="http://bmxmuseum.com/bikes/huffy/38863>My first bike</a>

babble on said...

Holy Uckfay. So if you get a flat on a normal tire, you change the tube. Four dollars and ten minutes (kay, twenty five for some of us) and you're on your way. Get a fucking flat on a tubless wheel and suddenly you've got a $120, three day problem. That's parts, not labour.

PotbellyJoe said...

My First Bike

Try this again...

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Neat little flashback tour Sr. Snob.

I like to ride out that way from Bay Ridge along the various paths and cross the Atlantic Beach Bridge to Atlantic Beach Long Beach Lido Beach etc. I think round trip it's like 64 miles. No hills except for the bridges. But the West wind is evil.

vsk

Name said...

Hey Snob,

They are discussing Football in your blog!

How do you take that?

Texas John Slaughter said...

I'll be sporting my Brompton foldable AK-47 assault rifle seat tube concealable gun. In deference to New Yawk's anti self defense laws I will leave the folding bayonet at home.

PS - I'm not a robot. Those food pictures make me wanna upchuck. Ewwwwwwwwww!

J. Dahmer said...

Those food pictures we all have to click to prove we are human appear to be Borscht Belt table fare from the 50s. How about some healthy choices?

Dave said...

Serenity now: insanity later, of course. Construction never happens in the winter. Aside from that, neither NYC nor the entire civilization we enjoy have the slightest concern for cyclists - with a few minuscule, negligible exceptions. Vent all you want; just don't expect anyone to listen. Better to follow our Leader's lead: align your scranus with the horizon, press the Waybac button and bring back the golden youth for a moment or two.

JB said...

Babble, I don't "go tubeless," but I thought that if you get a flat with tubeless that you just put in a tube, like the olden days. Although, you'll end up with all of that tubeless goo all over everything*.

*TWSS

JLRB said...

Damn - forward to a fun read was I was looking - but here I find myself without my passport

bieks said...

I started questioning why I didn't just hop on the A train from JFK straight to my hotel back when I visited. Then I remembered, takes forever and the LIRR is so plush in comparison. Plus, a boring view's better than no view out the window.

babble on said...

JB - really?! Hmm.... well now that's a thought. Someone I know carries around a can of foam that sometimes gets him home, but THAT's messy, and only occasionally effective.

Thanks. :)

crosspalms said...

I enjoyed your Proustian travelog. That was fun.

Last night on my way home I performed a stupid commuter trick. Stopped at a grocery, and on the way out took an alley to the street. A car was making a U-turn in the alley, backing into a loading dock. Driver waved me past, I rode through a puddle in front of the car and my front wheel dropped into a foot-deep pothole (I know how deep it was because when the bike suddenly stopped and I waddled it the rest of the way, I used my left leg to measure the hole's depth. Not on purpose!). I was going slowly, so no injuries to bike or self, but it was a good remedial exercise in whether you should ride through water when you don't know what's underneath it.

Anonymous said...

In the A Line Deli Inc. photo Snobby appears to have captured a test flight of a top secret aircraft.

It's framed between two electricity wires at the top left and some of the people standing around look pretty suspicious too.

I don't know what Snobby's up to, but it's not good.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Vernal Mangina, that is one of those quirky differences between British English and American English.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

What a rousing, feel good reminiscense of an idyllic, bygone era. A time when all children were free range, whereas chickens are only afforded that luxury today. Snoobie reserves his most artful, feel good posts for the delicate sensibilities of the Anglo-aristocracy.

A beauty of a post. It brings me back to my childhood, when my bike was stolen from behind the backstop at the local ballfield, while I was playing catcher. An event that became my fault, in the eyes of Dear old Dad. That was the day my life became a twisted, horseshit mess. The ultimate realization of the immensity of my own stupidity.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Anonymous said...
"In the A Line Deli Inc. photo Snobby appears to have captured a test flight of a top secret aircraft."

Of course I had to look. It's a Starling with wings extended.
Fly little Starling. Fly fly fly...

In other news, I broke a rear spoke today. Wobble wobble. Bontrager Select Areo rim. I think it has like 8 or 24 spokes or something like that. The wheels are usually good given my girth.
I'll just take it easier on the way home.

vsk



Anonymous said...

OOps! Select Aero rim ...

Trued Dat!

JLRB said...

paddled my way across the pond for a read sans passport

I can't remember learning to ride a bike. Being the youngest, my parents remember nothing about such milestones for me (but they were too tired to stop me from doing stupid things, so a fair trade). At some point riding a bicycle became part of me but I can't recall the beginning, so it didn't happen.

Easy Rider said...

Babble
Don't go tubeless use Trojan, that will stop the goo from getting everywhere.

DB said...

Snob:
Sorry to mention football in your wonderful blog. I don't watch it anymore, just incredible how the NFL weighs its infractions.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your freeride roots, big hucker. You were dropping to flat before Canadians froriders made it cool in the late 90's.

crank said...

Great writing, snob. Don't know what keeps bringing me back for more, but there is majesty and intrigue in your prose. This past weekend I flew back to the city in which I grew up. Also tried to make it back to my childhood neighborhood by folder, but didn't get time :( Funny how we seek out these pilgrames, eh?

Kleen Ex said...

I read your post and I wept. I wept for my lost and wasted childhood. I wept for my cool Mustang 3 speed with the fat rear tire that I never rode because I thought it looked dumb so my little brother got it. I wept for the loss of a simpler times when you could dump your used engine oil down the storm sewer and no one would care. I wept because I like weeping. Thank you for making my day.

Anonymous said...

That comment on the Brooks Blog, from the Brit chiding Snob on his use and understanding of the term "Mile".

Wow, thanks for the history lesson you boffin... what on earth would us poor, stoppid mericuns do without the British letting us know how superior they are?

What's strange is that the English are suppose to have perfected the art of Irony, yet he simple isn't able to grasp Snobs use of it in his post.. Must be the mericun accent snob wrote in that thru him off.

Bryan said...

I just read the worst article in Time ever by some pretentious jerkface. (/sarcasm)

Dooth said...

Wildcat, did you ever see any Ramones out in Rock Rock Rockaway Beach?!

babble on said...

Wow, you're really getting around these days, Snobi Wan. That can only be good news. Funny you should mention the Right Hook turn, just moments after I had seen an example of a daft woman doing exactly that just after she left the separated bike lane.

solipsist said...

FIRST!!!! Forward to victory

BamaPhred said...

Scranus

Doug said...

Check out this electric commuter/folding bike! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/244394430/fifield-e-bikes-revamping-the-jetty

Makes hills much less sweatier on the way to work!!

She Started out riding on a Banana Seat said...

Road Queen rides back posting many chapters. Posts a pic of her first bike. Now what was the first car she fooled around in? Front seat or back seat?

America Runs on Dunkin said...

Cops shoot hammer wielding man at 8th & 37th. And the NY Times article contains this sentence, all by itself.

"The shooting occurred in front of a Dunkin’ Donuts."

Mr P.Dant said...

Vernal Magina 1.29
I can see your petard from here.

Freddy Murcks said...

Wildrock Cat Machine takes his Wednesday weed vary seriously.

Vernal Magina said...

Yes, it's resting comfortably on my Brooks's saddle ;-)