Friday, April 10, 2015

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Before we embark upon the weekend, here's one final note on the subject of fried seafood sub-epics:


Which is that, as "JB" pointed out in the comments, "calamari" can sometimes be hog rectum:



Though it has a shape and texture similar to the real thing, its component parts are decidedly different. While calamari comes from squid, the replica is supposedly made of hog rectum, otherwise known as "bung."

I'm not exactly comforted, but this seems like a fitting epilogue.

Speaking of sub-epics, when this baby arrives you'd better hide the hog rectum because we plan to work up an appetite together:


These days I like wide tires in summer and fenders in winter, so it's become increasingly clear to me that I really should be riding a road bike with mid-reach brakes (not to mention a coat of paint):


Plus, it has a standard headset, a threaded bottom bracket shell, and no crabon, all of which I find extremely promising.

I still haven't taken delivery, but it should arrive any day now, and I'll keep you apprised as to how we get on.

Still, as excited as I am, I can't help being jealous of this bike, which belongs to a reader named Bryan:


Yep, that's a bona-fide (by which I mean completely counterfeit) Venge-Schmenge:


And yep, it's made from 100% high-modulus CRABON:


Says Bryan:

I ride this poorly constructed intellectual thieving bike in constant fear of crashing due to certain assploding.

Though I'd be far more afraid of the legal team over at Specialized.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a short quiz, since it's been a short week (for me).  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then good, and if you're wrong you'll see a cycling spokesperson you can trust.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and beware of imitation calamari.


--Wildcat Rock Machine







1) Portlanders were outraged when a Fred ran over:

--A hawk
--A duck
--A kitten
--A daffodil





2) Where was this bike spotted?

--New York
--Chicago
--Philadelphia
--Portland






3) Finally!  A bike made out of an Erector Set!

--True
--False







4) Nothing says "Maine" like:

--A lobster trap bike basket
--A handlebar made from moose antlers
--Poland Spring
--An ancient Indian burial ground that resurrects cats







5) In Tennessee, bikes are considered more dangerous than guns.

--True
--False



***Special "Crabon And The TSA Don't Mix"--Themed Bonus Video!***



Yeah, no shit.

Welcome to bikes.

86 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whoo

herzogone said...

Podium!

dop said...

faster than scranus

Anonymous said...

Shazam.

Anonymous said...

hey - accidental finisher.

cycle

Serial Retrogrouch said...

BANG BANG

Anonymous said...

Ok, I admit it; I am a robot

Ricochet said...

top ten or whatever

Jon Webb said...

That squid or whatever is definitely not hog rectum. Unless the hog is Cthulu. The tentacles give it away.
Oh, and thanks to the mysterious power of your product endorsements I found myself eating a Nature Valley "Sweet and Salty Nut" energy bar yesterday. It was excellent. But I felt used.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

ding ding

Anonymous said...

Hog Anus!!

dcee604 said...

I would have been top ten, but I read the post...and watched the video. My bad!

dop said...

My grandfather stopped eating scallops after he saw unscrupulous fisherman cutting discs from stingray wings & passing it off as scallops. Meh.

Anonymous said...

I never tested positive!

Freddy Murcks said...

I like your new, inchoate bike, Snob. I suspect that you will like it.

Freddy Murcks said...

Jon Webb @12:56 - Funny that you should mention Cthulhu. This may be the most delicious looking example of Cthulhu of all time. http://tinyurl.com/lyam8oo

CommieCanuck said...

PIGG BUTT

Anonymous said...

That guy with the cracked frame seems a little larger than the average triathlete, maybe TSA isn't responsible . . .

Fred Nifacent said...

Retum? Damn near killed um

bk said...

Aww snap. Directly from the Erector Set bike kickstarter page:

"A specialized front fork needs a specialized steering head. Instead of one clamp, this steering head has two."

Here come the lawsuits...

balls™ said...

Pig butt, chocolate salty balls...

Damn. I WAS eating lunch. Now, not so much.


Hog scranus?

K-Bo said...

I've killed more things with my bike than with a gun...

Comment deleted said...

This revelation about phony squid gave me a chuckle.

babble on said...

Ewww. I will never look at calamari the same way again.

Anonymous said...

I get snobbishly opinionated when I see the phrase, "front fork". I guess there must be a bike out there that has a fork holding the rear wheel on that people need to explicitly specify that they ain't referring to, but I have yet to see one myself, and a swingarm or a full suspension seat stay doesn't count.

FRNT FORK

jodphoto said...

I want to DRIVE my Bic-EYE-cle?

Calamari: The ratio of tentacle sets to body slices should be about 1 to 4 or so.

Hog rectums would make that ratio much higher. Just sayin'

Portland Wok said...

Quack le mort.

Daniel said...

Bikes ARE way more dangerous than guns. Didn't you see that poor duck in Portland? Ducks are never harmed by guns. Never.

Anonymous said...

Will Babble's Wreck Beach bike need a duck bill shaped sand flap?

Some things better left un said...

Are Hog Rectum back together? Last time I saw them was when they opened for Cannibal Corpse in '91.

JLRB said...

I got one wrong (mist the erection set beik) and enjoyed the penalty video - all those people in the 70's riding without helments - they are all going to DIE!!!

Anonymous said...

Did anyone notice there was an additional quiz if you got an answer wrong?

Bryan said...

Dammit, there's another reader named Bryan? Poser! Hi Bryan :waves:

el gecko said...

The erector set bike could be kinda cool, but I have no faith in someone who leaves their chain THAT FREAKIN LOOSE.

1904 Cadardi said...

Hey Babble,

But will it change the way you look at hog rectum?

commie said...

That Chineseum crabon bike is awesome. I'm sure he gets many interweb warnings of CATASTROPHIC failure. Just give FEMA a heads up before you ride

commie said...

Daniel said...
Bikes ARE way more dangerous than guns. Didn't you see that poor duck in Portland? Ducks are never harmed by guns. Never.


PROOF.

Volunteer said...

Gun Hill, TN

bieks said...

I'm convinced that cars are like a million times more dangerous than guns, so yeah, why not bikes? I'll buy into that. Look out for me, rollin' down the street in my death machine.

Still, wouldn't fly with it. Besides, I'd rather give my money to a bike rental shop than have it go to baggage fees. We hateses check-in anyway and they're always such douches about letting my put my Brompton in the overhead compartment.

curmudgeon said...

Anon 1:26

Track/horizontal dropouts were called "rear fork ends" in the past, so to note the distinction between them and the front steering fork, people said "front fork(s)".

Nowadays we say "dropout" for any type, not just track/horiz dropouts, and "fork" has become standard terminology for the front, which includes the dropouts(fork ends), blades or tubes, and steer tube as one unit.

dop said...

There are some pretty bike triathletes. Men who weigh over 200 pounds have the option of not racing in an age group category. Instead they can register as Clydesdales and race against other big guys.

Fotr women, the weight cutoff is 150 pounds, and can race in the somewhat more dignified 'Athena' category.

I guess when a Clydesdale meets an Athena, the fur will fly.

dop said...

big, not bike

dop said...

Gun Hill Road said, back when my hair was short

bad boy of the north said...

Foaming at the mouth for the milwaukee bike,i see?oh,and that gun-toting bike.great for use against the zombie apocalypse .

P. Bateman said...

i won't even need that erection set to get excited about delicious hog rectum.

Calarmari be all like: they hate us cause they anus...

Frickus Rungus said...

The Milwaukee bike co bikes look pretty sweet... I was thoroughly enjoying a browse through their offerings, until I got to the full crabon 29er frame... But my joy returned when I saw that I could also purchase an artisnal fire pit and chamois/scranus cream from the same site. One stop shopping!

Anonymous said...

i always enjoy batter-fried anus blossom with my 3-4 thousand dollar crab-on broke-back bike.

Anonymous said...

"... Nature Valley "Sweet and Salty Nut" energy bar ..."

high fructose corn syrup at its finest

josh neeley said...

His name is ktulu.. Or are you guys too cool to reference Metallica?..dickweeds.

crosspalms said...

Just don't send a front fork to do a salad fork's job.

Anonymous said...

NICE RIDE

wishiwasmerckx said...

Curmudgeon, my fork consists of tines and a shaft with a fancy design at the top.

DB said...

Back in the USA.
Time to drive home and see if Dorothy and Toto landed on our roof. Guess we had some storms yesterday.

leroy said...

Ride safe all!

drew said...

That's a 4 year old Trek Madone 4.5. Unless he put $1200 clip-on aero bars on it or something, that ain't a $3000 bike.

Jimi Olsen said...

The Washington County Medical Examiner/Coroner has ruled the death of a Mallard Drake at Bethany Lake a suicide. A cell phone video clearly shows the Mallard throwing himself under the wheel of a bicycle. The bicyclist in question as the result of a rabid PETA campaignwas forced to move to New Yawk City. The bicyclist has been absolved of all guilt. Unfortunately said bicyclist was run down by a NYC Bus. His cause of death has not yet been ruled upon.

Cluck Kent said...

Good work Jimi.

Anonymous said...

Good luck with your forthcoming beer bike, Snobby, but as someone who's always whining about getting older and slower and who's thinking of compact cranks etc, isn't it a somewhat too aggressive speedster setup for an aging fred like you?

Arizona Hillbilly said...

TSA fucked up my Ti 29er...

Porky Squidward said...

Oink! errrrr I mean slluurpppppp*


Old-timer said...

Paris-Roubaix Sunday! Zdenek Stybar? Wiggins? Kristoff? Sagan? Terpstra again? Should be a great race!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Cool new ride Wildcat! Looking forward to your in-depth analysis of it's ride characteristics.

I was going to mention it but Mr. Anon 7:34 beat me to it. Looks like they damn near slammed that stem for you. Kinda strange to not see your signature Dr Suess stack on there.

Helen said...

Here's an interesting artisanal wooden bike. don't think it will really catch on, though.
https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=823124447734960&pnref=story

leroy said...

My dog insists that bike with the gun belongs to Mad Max's cousin, post-apocalypse but still Eco-conscious somewhat dyspeptic Max.

I hate it when he wakes me up early to tell me stuff I don't need to know.

DB said...

Cipo is holding his crotch in his recent Instagram.

ce said...

Leroy, "Dyspeptic Dave" FTFY

McFly, I thought of you when I saw this

Freddie Fredrickson said...

Cipo was the dimensional model for Hebrew National Beef Salami. Cipo on left, Sagan in the middle, Coontadoor on the right.


https://www.google.com/search?q=hebrew+national+salami&biw=1067&bih=505&tbm=isch&imgil=wIlSzspwE4VKsM%253A%253Bnj_IrgrXZW04KM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fgoldsdelicatessen.com%25252Fstore%25252Fpage12.html&source=iu&pf=m&fir=wIlSzspwE4VKsM%253A%252Cnj_IrgrXZW04KM%252C_&usg=__iYht92nt6MRxjxaQeP9YAYmqvA4%3D&ved=0CEgQyjc&ei=nFcpVbDPAoinyQSRjoDIBg#imgrc=wIlSzspwE4VKsM%253A%3Bnj_IrgrXZW04KM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fgoldsdelicatessen.com%252Fstore%252Fmedia%252FHebrewNationalSalami.jpeg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fgoldsdelicatessen.com%252Fstore%252Fpage12.html%3B384%3B512

Rabbi Peckersnipper said...

Hey Freddie, let me shorten that for you

u know who said...

Rabbi,

How UnFREDly of you.

J. Ullrich said...

Yes! I did performance enhancing drugs. But! For recreationai purposes only.

ejakulasi dini said...

Good post and sharing. Goodluck

ejakulasi dini said...

Thanks....and Goodluck!

dop said...

PIG SCRANUS

JLRB said...

Bike snob jersey and hat made an appearance at the San Diego gran fondo today - the meaning of the 46 was a topic of conversation

JLRB said...

And my "front" fork got bent in luggage but it wasn't a catastrophe because steel bends. I was surrounded by carbon - mostly of the tri-dork variety

Angry Beaver in Mirimichi said...

The rectum calamari, was it fresh or previously frozen? Free range or farmed? Locally sourced or from Chile?

BamaPhred said...

Hog Rectum reformed and now features a swinette quartet.

Anonymous said...

Paris-Roubaix: John DEGENKOLB. A VERY strong guy…good race!

Holy Roller said...

David won the battle because Goliath was stoned.

Anonymous said...

Dang Bryan, at least wash/clean your bike before taking a picture of it. Did you take it off-roading before you took these pictures?

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Cara bersetubuh said...

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Paket Umrah 2015 said...

Great post, thanks for sharing. Goodluck

Paket Umrah Ceria 2015 said...

The Milwaukee bike co bikes look pretty sweet......

Foredi said...

Paris-Roubaix Sunday! Zdenek Stybar? Wiggins? Kristoff? Sagan? Terpstra again? Should be a great race!

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