Wednesday, October 8, 2014

The Years They Pass Like The Wind...

You'll be pleased to know that I've been reviewing my Fly6 integrated tail light-slash-video camera footage from L'Eroica, and while I was deeply moved by the spirit of the ride I wasn't quite as overcome as this person:


He's either having a really tough time peeling a tubular tire off a rim, or else he's pausing for a quick "Roadside Cipollini."

I should also point out that when I finally have finished going through my trove of digital images you'll be able to read all about it on the Brooks blog, which is only fitting because: A) They made my trip to L'Eroica possible; and 2) I am a Brooks "guest blogger," at least until I finish repaying Eric "The Chamferer" Murray.  (Pro financial tip: Never accept a loan when the lender tells you the APR is "I'll fucking cut you mate."  There are subprime loans, and then there are subcutaneous loans, and Mr. Murray specializes in the latter.)


(Financial instrument.)

In any case, I'll keep you posted.

Speaking of Brooks, it's been just about one year since I started riding a Cambium, so I think it's safe to declare that I stand behind it both literally and figuratively:


(See that?  I'm literally standing behind the saddle!  I got a degree in English from a state university!)

Comfort obviously varies from scranus to scranus, but the Cambium happens to get along exceedingly well with mine.  The rubbery shell also has a bit of a suspension effect, which I particularly appreciate because I often ride this bike on unpaved surfaces even though it is not technically a gravel bike.*  The only problem I have ever had with it was an occasional creaking sound, which I traced to the rubber shell occasionally making contact with the rails, though it has now gone away entirely and issues nary a complaint.  (Hey, it's a Brooks.  Something has to break in, right?)

*Disclaimer: NEVER ride a non-gravel bike on a gravel surface.  If you are ever tempted to take your road bike offroad stop riding immediately and visit your nearest Specialized dealer to purchase an appropriate model.

Also, the cotton top is still in excellent shape despite being repeatedly subjected to my massive power output and formidable flatulence:


And I should point out that Brooks now has a narrower, "racier" C15 version, which is the sort of thing you learn when you hang out with people from Brooks for days on end:


So there you go.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon I took a little spin to shake all those air miles out of my legs, and I'm pleased to report it's getting pleasantly autumnal around here:


Fall is really the best time to ride in the New York City area.  It's even better than the springtime, because as pleasant as the spring is there are too many Freds venturing out for the first time on wobbly legs, but by September they've mostly burned themselves out and moved on to golf or "rolfing" or whatever else it is they do.  Really, the only problem with fall is that the squirrels start to experience seasonal depression and become suicidal.  Clearly the word was out yesterday among the squirrels that I was using bladed spokes, because they were all trying to leap into my front wheel and bisect themselves.  I tried to take a picture of this behavior, but the best I could manage was this one scampering up a tree after having second thoughts:


I then turned my bicycle upon the strade marrone, which looks like the strade bianche after a few wash cycles if you're lazy about separating out your whites:


While it's been a year since I started riding the Cambium it's been over three years since I took delivery of my Ritte von Finkelstein bicycle:


And here's how it looked back in the year Two Thousand And Eleven when it was new:


In that time, I've switched the saddle to a Cambium, the cranks to a compact, and I ride pretty much exclusively on 28mm tires--all of which to say that over the past three years I've officially become an old guy.

I will most likely offer a more thorough write-up in the not-too-distant future, as I think after three years it's finally acceptable to begin evaluating a bicycle--as opposed to the "legitimate" bicycle press, which believes that after three years your bicycle is obsolete and you should go visit your nearest Specialized dealer.



Speaking of the press, there are publicists out there laboring under the misapprehension that I am a journalist, because I recently received the following email:

Would you be interested in writing an article about the HEXO+, a flying camera drone? I believe cycling enthusiasts would find it valuable and timely.

The HEXO+ is a Hexacopter designed by Squadrone systems and it is capable of independently filming a subject when biking. It can also be controlled through an app installed on a smartphone. The project was publicly funded through Kickstarter and it is set for a release by May 2015.


Oh come on.  Are you kidding me?  This is like asking the class clown if he'd like to try out the new Stereophonic Digital Fart Synthesizer 2000!  I think the idea of riding around while being filmed by a drone is positively abhorrent, but I also think the comedic possibilities of testing such a drone are virtually endless, especially if I manage to crash and destroy it.  Naturally I've replied in the affirmative and indicated I would like to try it, though I suspect the publicist will soon figure out her mistake so I suspect the device will not be forthcoming.

If, however, by some miracle they do send me one of these things, my first order of business will be to see if I can plant a bicycle, allow it to be stolen, and have the drone follow the thief--or, failing that, follow some celebrities with poor bike-handling skills so I can sell the footage to TMZ and retire:



Yikes.  She really should take that urban cycling skills clinic Alec Baldwin is teaching, because his bike-handling is razor-sharp:


("Get that fuckin' baby outta the way!"--Alec Baldwin)

Sadly though, as New York City gets gentrified and bike lane-ified the city is quickly turning into one big suburban cul-de-sac, as this "Missed Connection" shows:



A thankfully missed connection with white guy cyclist in coral red pants - w4m (bike lane at the intersection of Sands St & Gold St.)

There you were, meandering north from Gold Street in the crosswalk as it intersects with the Sands Street bike lane around 2pm. You appeared to be admiring your coral red pants, perhaps assessing the attractive color contrast made with the blue-grey pavement. Regardless of your motives, you were staring straight down and wobbling in an aimless manner towards the bike lane that I happened to be hurtling down.

As I was faced with a slow moving distracted cyclist (you) who was slowing down further and directly in my path, I raised an impassioned cry of warning ("yo, duuuude"). When you then inexplicably stopped in front of me, my braking and skidding swerve almost caused me to fly off my bike into an intersection with oncoming traffic. And with my road bike in the shop, I was riding a citi bike that with its tank-like figure and handlebars comparable to the wing-span of a condor, would have totally destroyed you. 

My point is this, we all get distracted, make mistakes etc. and whether you like it or not, in those moments you're depending on the people around you to pick up the slack, so the important bit is what you do after you f*ck up. When I turned around and asked you if you were ok, you stared at me blankly and wobbled off up the bike lane. That's what made it so sh*tty. No apology, no thanks, no response. Good luck with that whole living thing, Asshat.

I'll bet you a used Brooks Cambium the woman who posted this was basically coral red pants guy one year ago.

95 comments:

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Podio!

Serial Retrogrouch said...

duoe

Guido il meccanico di biciclette said...

Primo?

Anonymous said...

Hey!

cycle

Anonymous said...

Elkie Brooks!

Astroluc said...

top 10...

Anonymous said...

two claws up!

Anonymous said...

je suis dans le premier dix

Anonymous said...

fodder

crosspalms said...

Whoever was following Amanda Bynes should sign up for Alec's class, too.

And I think I forgot to say welcome back yesterday. Welcome back. I was probably too busy living my modern lifestyle.

ken e. said...

dammit, someone (me) needs to pay more attention

JLRB said...

top 100!

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...can you explain what the last sentence mean? i can't make heads or tails of it...

...if you can't restate it, can you at least write it in italian?

thanks

scranus

Ass hat said...

You know you want what's in my coral pants, doncha?!?

Freddy Murcks said...

My bike is a deathtrap for three-year olds. That's probably generally true for all bikes given that all bike riders are a bunch of scofflaws who regularly exceed the speed limit, fails to observe traffic signals, and refuse to wear healments.

mikeweb said...

Coral pants seem like they would chafe something awful.

JLRB said...

ps - it looks like you also changed the handlebar tape on the Ritte from painter's tape pale blue to black?

JLRB said...

mikeweb - COD early runner

Eric C. Murray said...

Your shamless plugs for our product don't even begin to cover the vig wiseguy

Anonymous said...

Toppus XX

grog said...

It's all your fault Snobbers: I bought a Fly6 and it's great. Now I need a hat.
MORE BABE

Guido il meccanico di biciclette said...

“...can you explain what the last sentence mean? i can't make heads or tails of it...if you can't restate it, can you at least write it in italian?”

Un anno fa, la donna che lo ha pubblicato agito fondamentalmente lo stesso come il corallo rosso pantaloni ragazzo che descrive; scommetto che un usato Brooks Cambium su questo .

Siete benvenuti.

trama said...

handel bras comprable to condor

GOOD SHIT

clyde said...

Scranus

JB said...

You have black squirrels in NYC?!

That's all I got.

balls™ said...

If you ever see me wearing coral pants, please hit me over the head with a citi(R) bike.

ArtemisLight said...

I can't help it, every time I see L'Eroica I read it as L'Erotica.

David said...

I love my Cambium C17, but I find that the cotton surface roughs up my pants a lot faster than a smooth (leather) surface. I'm hoping that it will continue to wear in on top until it's not abrasive at all.

Bama Phred said...

Dude! It's Weednesday. Or am I a day or two off. What with the Lunar eclipse and the animal to human transformations, I'm exhausted. And where did all of these extra nipples come from?

DB said...

Mikeweb has COD locked up today. Done deal.
I have important news. I know it's Wildcats' blog and all, but tomorrow is Leroy's Dogs Birthday.
The purebred Brooklyn Schnorrer will celebrate his 8th birthday and I know you'll want to wish him many more.
Leroy: I think your dogs' "Bookclub" will extend into the wee hours tonight.

Matt said...

I was riding to work this morning and there was a ball in the gutter. A bowling ball. Are pickup bowling games a thing now and I missed it?

McFly said...

With a condor wingspan is the only way to go hurtling.

Spokey said...

I like my C17. There is a little 'fraying' of that cotton weave on the edges. doesn't bother. but i have noticed an odd look around the rivets. kind of looks like a 'pulling'. but i've got the dark version so maybe it's just rubbing whatever dye off. This dark version has lost a noticeable amount of its dark shade in the 9 months or so i've had it.

but it is comfy. I don't think it's any better than the B17s except for rain. I got this to replace a B17 I ruined leaving it out all night in the rain. But I think it seems to seat me about the same as my still good older B17.

Twob Rake said...

Last sentence had me fooled. I guess it means the CL poster had same skills setway as coral pant guy a year ago.
Or she can time travel and swap bodies.

Sarah said...

You're right snob. She's been there. She goes on to use rhetoric like a boss. Fact: my camouflage pants distract me so. Odd?
I hope you picked up some old timey housing.

PBateman said...

coral pants are like prison orange/pink. they are used to indicate a person whose mind has been massively impaired by staring into the sun and years of drinking ironic beers like pabst.

snob, that bike is still pretty sweet all these years later (minus your kind of lame seat post).

after all that time in italy you ready to go full Campy?

Mike@TheBandTruck said...

Seems to me that Hexo+ is a rip off of the Fly 6

BikeSnobNYC said...

PBateman,

I've done Campy, I prefer Shimano for various boring reasons.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Various boring reasons like price, reliability, and precision manufacturer?

cycle

Anonymous said...

Hexo = Nixie Drone on steroids. Nixie not proven yet. Vaporware?

I'll use a big stick and attach my camera via a weak rubber band and pretend it's a drone cam.


vsk Prove you're not a drone 104

PBateman said...

makes sense. ShimaNO vs campy is a silly thing anyway.

some people prefer Ketchup to Catsup, and others still prefer being peed on. different strokes....

Anonymous said...

Shimano 9 speed is my preferred running gear of choyce.


vsk

Anonymous said...

Get yer Shimana while you can . . .

"Super Typhoon Vongfong is now the most intense storm recorded on planet earth in 2014 packing wind gusts up to 189 mph as it makes its way across the Western Pacific towards Japan." ... from GCaptain

vsk

sTONEdEADLAND said...

My DeRosa's all Shimano.

Makes some people uncomfortable.

K-Bo said...

Matt @ 1:45
Watch "Snow on Tha Bluff". It will explain street bowling.

dop said...

it's better to be pissed off than peed on

PBateman said...

#streetbowling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cJXpMmYSaE

Bama Phred said...

Yeah the years they pass like the wind, and like sand thru the scranus, so are the days of our lives. Tire changing guy looks like he meant to go to L'Eroica for a cycling experience, got confused, and thought he was at L'Erotica for an auto-erotic experience.

ce said...

Welcome back to the future Snobbo. Glad to hear your little steampunk meet went so well.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...Guido,

...so in order to understand that sentence, i plugged it into g----e and this is what it is telling me:

"A year ago, the woman who posted this act basically the same as the coral red pants guy who describes; I bet a used Brooks Cambium about this.

You are welcome."

...yes, indeed. much clearer. snob is betting his used cambriums saddle on proving schizophrenia of cl poster.

leroy said...

Mikeweb @ 1:12 for COD.

DB - I'll tell my dog thanks when he wakes up. He had a lunar eclipse party on the roof last night.

I always thought "Good Night Moon" was a book.

Turns out he has a rude performance art piece with the same title.

grog said...

Leroy, we'd like to see pic of said dog doing rude performance art piece. Happy Birthday!
scranus

mikeweb said...

Leroy, pass along my best wishes to your middle aged canine. Happy birthday!

babble on said...

Duuuuude!

Duuuude said...

I yelled duuuuude! at some idiot construction worker that ran out into the bike lane in my path - crazy prick started chasing me. I stopped at the light and he turned back. Asshat.

Anonymous said...

.
For Ms. Babble ->

Headline in a local Vancouver paper:
"Nudists Fight Erection of Towers Near Wreck Beach"

From the George Takei Facebook feed.

I thought that you'd enjoy that!

vsk

PotbellyJoe said...

My city "Set it and forget it" bike is now 21. We went out drinking the other night. Then i re-read the owner's manual. Specialized frowns upon getting a Rockhopper drunk, even when it is of legal age. 1. because it's a bike and 2. It's 18 years past retirement.

It's purple and yellow, which in a Knicks town makes for great "I hate the Lakers" banter. Previously, in Chicago i got a lot of "Do you like the Vikings?" Which I responded, "I like the sailing around the world thing, but the rape and pillage part can be unpopular depending on the room." Apparently they were discussing football that wasn't soccer.

I'm sure Specialized would tell me my bike is now no longer a Specialized as it was never a bike with suspension and it is now wearing city style tires. Oh well. It has been a cat 6 champion in Chicago, Detroit and New York. So take that Jetta Treks and Sobe Cannondales.

Did anyone else realize that Mr. Baldwin is wearing a Bridgestone hat? I wonder if he is only wearing it because it's a "B." He's be the asshole to go that route. Although his Cannondale Sidewalk Bike (I doubt it's seen a mountain) has the "C" on the head tube. So that the A, B, Cs of NYC's D,I,C, 'kay?

Fred of the Sea said...

Eric C. Murray, beat me to the punch and put it ever so much more witty than I would have.

Oh, and I know that blank stare. The "Nantucket reds" add the crowning soup├žon of douche.

"Duuude" happens to be the safe word my wife uses to let me know she's serious and I'm about to do something of potentially lethal stupidity if I don't listen to her.



babble on said...

Lol! Indeed I did, vsk. Right up my allwy, so to speak.

Many happy returns, Leroy et al.

I love my Campy bits, but am getting tired of having to replace them all of the time, simply cause I choose to put a lot of miles on.

PotbellyJoe said...

Also, I'm pretty sure Dustin Hoffman was not only at L'erotica, but also with the Brooks team there:

http://blog.brooksengland.com/wps/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/14.jpg

Comment deleted said...

PotbellyJoe, Alec Baldwin is a bit of a "C" sometimes (sorry, Babs), so it would be entirely appropriate.

Dave said...

Fickle Finger of Fate: recently a wild-eyed, gray-haired woman driver waved my wife across, then quickly changed her mind and gunned her heap through an inch in front of our tires. Had the little rattling pea in her head delayed the decision for a moment or two, I'd be a widower. Such is the tightrope of existence.

K-Bo said...

Dave @ 4:48
I'm glad you all are OK. That said, where do you get your weed from?

That said said...

weed

toke, chort said...

cough

Peter G said...

Matt 1:45

A blowing ball would have been an outstanding ride trophy. I hope you picked it up and rode home with it! What an interesting story you would have to tell!

JLRB said...

I would love to demo the helio-camera-thingy! I would definitely terrorize my dogs and the squirrels they chase, then set out to capture the Cat 6 silliness on the commute

ouabacher said...

Dave, I will often avoid eye contact at intersections so as not to see the wave through. I trust no one.

David Pearce said...

Hey, Wabasher!

I love knowing how to pronounce names Oaxaca or Teotihuacan, let alone Chihuahua!

However, I am deeply, DEEPLY saddened today, because I just realized

I CAN NEVER BE A BIKE BLOGGER!

I don't any of those green arrows or exclamation points or question marks that the big-boy bloggers like BikeSnobNYC have. Where do I get those? A craft store like Michael's? I regret that Hobby Lobby is out, although some shop-dropping there might be fun for a lark.

*************

Why can't it be exclamation mark or question point?

Fred of the Sea said...

Sea Freds have already adopted the drone thing.

http://vimeo.com/88720486

Grump said...

If you don't have any qualms about helping squirrels get sliced and diced, get yourself an old front Spinergy Rev-X.
.

Anonymous said...

Snob did you kill the baby bear or are you just out for squirrel?

Bama Phred said...

Happy Birthday Dog, Remembering the good times.

Fred of the Sea said...

Strava killed the baby bear. Rumor is the poor thing had Speedplay marks on its body.

Bama Phred said...

Speaking of Strava, did anyone win the #NOSTRAVA essay contest?

Anonymous said...

Awesome missed connection! I try very hard to be coral-red pants guy every time a dork like her comes up from behind and opens their mouth. The fact that these Portlandia losers go on to write about it online (it probably ruins their whole day and they probably torture their loser friends/co workers with their stupid bike story) is icing on the cake!

Simon said...

I have the scranus hole version of the C17, as the original would probably leave me cambi-numb.

RJ SQUIRL said...

DREADNOUGHTUS SCHRANI

NEW YORK (AP) - Researchers studying the remains of an enormous dinosaur , have given it an equally colossal name: DREADNOUGHTUS SCHRANI , or "fearing nothing."

The four-legged beast, with a long neck and powerful 29-foot tail, stretched about 85 feet long and weighed about 65 tons. That's more than seven times the weight of even a plus-size male…

David Pearce said...

Who is Amanda Bynes? Why should I care?

And BTW, who am I, and why am I here?

dnk said...

Er. Diane "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE BIKE LANE" Savino is on the Brian Lehrer Show right now talking about legalizing medical marijuana in New York.

dnk said...

Sorry. I think that's Diane "FIND A FUCKING BIKE LANE AND GET IN IT" Savino.

And she's in favor legalizing pot for medical porpoises.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Babble,

You're not supposed to ride on the brifters and the DEErailleurs... even SHE MAN O couldn't take that kind of punishment!

Actually my Shimanos have some asphalt time on them as well and they're doing ok.

Cheers !

vsk


McFly said...

Hard on the equipment? That don't make you a bad girl. Sometimes you just need to change positions more often.

Standing up is OK, too.

JLRB said...

pass like the wind, or pass like the glow of the Tuscan sun; either works

Anonymous said...

Alec Baldwin on a Cannondale? Poor Cannondale!!!

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Obat Tradisional Ambeien Manjur di Apotik Selain dengan cara memeriksakan diri ke dokter, sebenarnya ada beberapa cara untuk mengatasi ambeien sendiri. Yaitu dengan melakukan terapi pribadi. Anda disarankan berendam dalam air hangat beberapa kali sehari, terutama setelah buang air besar. http://herbal789.tumblr.com/post/136429200010/obat-tradisional-ambeien-manjur-di-apotik , Tips Mengobati Ambeien Stadium Akut Anda tidak dapat melakukan apapun untuk menyingkirkan wasir. Wasir sangat umum dan diperkirakan bahwa lebih dari setengah dari populasi dunia memiliki penyakit ini pada usia sekitar 50 tahun. http://herbal234.tumblr.com/post/136369955298/tips-mengobati-ambeien-stadium-akut

Obat Ambeien Ampuh yang di Apotik Ambeien atau masyarakat lebih mengenalnya sebagai wasir adalah pembengkakan dan peradangan pembuluh darah vena di sekitar anus dan rektrum bawah. Bisa dibayangkan bagaimana sakit dan tidak nyamannya orang yang terkena ambeien, terlebih saat duduk. http://herbal789.pbworks.com/w/page/103951125/Obat%20Ambeien%20Ampuh%20yang%20di%20Apotik , Tips Cepat Mengobati Ambeien Parah Wasir adalah pembuluh darah teriritasi dan meradang terletak di anus, sedangkan kanker disebabkan oleh sel-sel yang berkembang biak di luar kendali. http://herbal234.pbworks.com/w/page/103947029/Tips%20Cepat%20Mengobati%20Ambeien%20Parah

Kumpulan Obat Tradisional Ambeien di Apotik Sebagai seseorang yang menderita penyakit ambeien atau wasir pastinya mempunyai pantangan ambeient terutama pantangan dalam hal makanan yang sering disampaikan oleh para ahli medis yang spesial menangani para pasien wasir atau ambeient. http://blogherbaldenature.blogspot.com/2016/01/kumpulan-obat-tradisional-ambeien-di.html , Tips Mengobati Sakit Ambeien Wasir Saat wasir internal terjadi ada kemungkinan anda akan mengalami pendarahan mulai dari jumlah kecil hingga besar. Wasir external terjadi di anus sehingga dapat menyebabkan sakit. http://juragan-obat-herbal.blogspot.com/2016/01/tips-mengobati-sakit-ambeien-wasir.html

Akhadiwi Rajie said...

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