Friday, January 31, 2014

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

First of all, I have important news that I'm a bit late in relaying, which is that you can go to Brooks's store in London and get yourself measured for a custom bicycle by custom bicycle customizer Dario Pegoretti:

The new Brooks B1866 shop in Seven Dials, London is proud to announce that it will be offering custom bicycles direct in­store from some of the most respected names in the handmade bicycle world. Dario Pegoretti, Ricky Feather, and Darren Crisp are already among those signed up to offer personal fittings directly inside the B1866 premises, meaning customers will not have to travel to the frame­builders’ studios, but be measured and fitted right in the heart of London.

B1866 is inviting customers to book their appointment now by contacting the store directly. Dario Pegoretti will be at the B1866 shop on the 31st January and 1st February, bringing along with him his latest creation, a collaboration with the new Brooks Cambium Saddle centered on the Italian espresso brand Goppion.

I mention all of this almost entirely as an excuse to post this picture of Dario Pegoretti, because it's awesome:


(Courtesy of Brooks)

If you're wondering what's going on in this photo, he's half-heartedly defending himself against the the deadly blade of Eric "The Chamferer" Murray:


They like to get into it after a few beers, and it's all fun and games before somebody loses a ponytail.

Also, speaking of Dario Pegoretti, this remains one of the greatest cycling interviews of all time:



The best part of all may be the thick-headed YouTube commenters who don't get it.

Meanwhile, in what should be major cycling news but isn't, the Campagnolo Gran Fondo New York (from which I've been banned) is suspiciously silent on the question of whether celebrity guest Stephen Roche will be tested at this year's event:
While they did reply to my reply, they didn't touch the Stephen Roche question, and it seems to me they have reason to be suspicious:

In March 2000 the Italian judge Franca Oliva published a report detailing the investigation into sports doctors including Conconi.[10] This official judicial investigation unequivocally found that Roche was administered EPO in 1993, his last year in the peloton.[11] Files part of the investigation allegedly detail a number of aliases for Roche including Rocchi, Rossi, Rocca, Roncati, Righi and Rossini.[12] In 2004 Judge Oliva again alleged that Roche had taken EPO during 1993 but due to the statute of limitations, neither Roche nor his team-mates at Carrera would be prosecuted.[13]

Sure, he's been retired for over 20 years, but it's only fair, right?  "Thanks so much for coming over for this, Mr. Roche.  Now would you please pee in this cup?"  Anyway, you'd think they'd be more careful after Fred-gate:


Also, they had this guy in 2011, and who knows what he was on at the time?


I mean really, is "Gran Fondo" Italian for "Drugs N' Freds" or what?



Obviously that's a rhetorical question.  It's totally Italian for "Drugs N' Freds."

Of course, some might consider paying hundreds of dollars to follow a doper around to be a piece of cycling heaven, though a reader tells me you can also buy cycling heaven on eBay in the form of used Rapha packaging:


It’s not a myth that Rapha products are forged by the goddesses and immortals.
Its super premium heavenly quality, followed with beauty, perfect form and millionaire’s price tags!!!

Here’s your chance to be as close to the royal club. This will motivate you to work harder, sell your soul and grab the second mortgage just to get the complete kit so you could look sexier than Ricky Martin on two wheels.

Do place your bid early because this will change your life and marriage. After all, this is Rapha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell me something I don't know.  I've been putting Rapha tags on my Nashbar closeout shorts for years.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see thrills, chills, and spills at the 2014 British National Cyclocross Championships.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and stay warm.  (Unless you already live somewhere warm, in which case screw you.)


--Wildcat Rock Machine





1) What is the purpose of the "Speed Up Bag?"

--To make you go faster
--To dry your hands without wasting paper
--To shred your documents while on the go
--Cat portaging







(He sees a cyclist, and he's thinking something.  But what?!?)

2) Fill in the blank:

"See cyclist.  Think _____."

--Person
--Neighbor
--Horse
--Douchebag





3) What reason does this person give for riding a Citi Bike in the winter?

--“We’re doing it for the look on people’s faces"
--"We're doing it because banks rule"
--"We're doing it to spite Dorothy Rabinowitz"
--"We're doing it for the p-u-s-s-y"






(It's too cold for this shit.)

4) This guy is cold and he's pissed off and he wants to stab Citi Bike guy to death with a snotsicle for his arrogant smugness.

--True
--False




(Mario Cipollini has the same slogan tattooed on his genitals.)

5) Pete Seeger on a classic Italian road bicycle clad in woolen jersey and shorts was a common sight in the hills around Beacon, NY.

--True
--False





6) What makes the $7,000 Specialized Crux Expert EVO Di2 a gravel bike?

--The wheelbase or something
--The head and seat tube angles or something
--Three pairs of bottle bosses and a little plastic box
--The decals





7) This tire failed prematurely because it was:

--Installed on a fixed-gear bicycle without brakes
--Installed on a non-gravel-specific bicycle and then ridden on gravel, leading to uneven wear
--Exposed to road salt
--Installed inside-out



***Special "Who-Knocked-Over-My-Motorcycle?"-Themed Bonus Video!"***




97 comments:

Fluidj said...

pinnacle

Flyover BC said...

podium

Roille Figners said...

lesser position

ubercurmudgeon said...

Eat gravel suckers

dancesonpedals said...

top ten

Anonymous said...

top ten

0656 opeenac

McFly said...

It's statue of limitations......

It's a sculpture of limitations.

babble on said...

Friiiiiiiiiday! Gidday peeps!

Anonymous said...

Top Ten? Guy kicking over the motorcycle TOTALLY knew the douche who owned the machine...

Comment deleted said...

It's amazing that Pete Seeger was able to do an epic bike tour long before Kickstarter came along, but then, he was willing to actually do a little work for his food.

ken e. said...

looking for thirteen, but eleven is goot!

Buffalo Bill said...

That guy is a douche.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Official judicial top twenty.

Spokey said...

lucky 13?

Spokey said...

damn that chump

Anonymous said...

No, screw you if I already live somewhere warm!

Firstly, it's not warm, it's friggin' hot, and there's nothing the cyclist can do to allay the effects of the searing heat. Whereas if you're a weirdo who lives in one of those godforsaken shithole wastelands where it snows and stuff, you just rug up and go.

Of course, what we really need to do is unite in opposition to people who live somewhere rainy. They've got it made. If it's raining, it means it's not cold enough to snow or will keep the temperature down if it tends to be hot.

Screw those living-in-rainy-places bastards!

mikeweb said...

Just got back from Szechuan gourmet on 39th. Yummy.

There's so much NFL-ness going on in midtown right now it's like Vince Lombardi's balls exploded.

DB said...

Do we know if Snob has been seen by a "sports doctor"?
He had a number of aliases, as well.

DB said...

Oh, yeah, and who is Ricky Feather?
Sounds like a Native American child pop star.

Dario Peggorini said...

Time for cafe

mikeweb said...

Congrats to RF, Flyover and Fluidj(?)

DB, there were rumors that Snob had secret meetings with one 'Dr. Luigi Lamborghini', but the money trail went cold once it hit the 'shedsnobnyc' shell corporation.

Yeah Cleveland! said...

I give up. Both google and Bing came up empty. What exactly does one do with a used rapha tag package?

DB said...

Mikeweb:
Growing out my pubic hair since it's the hip thing again. Thanks for the Style Update yesterday.
Watched some new airline safety videos this am. Funny. Love the new Delta and Virgin America ones.

cock waffle said...

"My name or Internet alias is cock waffle. The correct answer to the question you posed in your blog post of January 30th, 2014 is: Martin Anus. The 'captcha' I was required to furnish in order to leave this comment was suckit assrot. My email address is Ben Dover [at] droolgle [dot] cram. I understand that, upon proper submission of the correct answer, you will contact me directly in order to arrange shipping. Dorothy Rabinowitz is a thorny space erectile from the planet Pubis. I like cheese."

crosspalms said...

Dear Granfondonewyork,
I was going to pee in a cup for you, but a coworker poured coffee in it before I had a chance, so you'll just have to take my word for it that I'm drug-free. See you soon,
Robs Fords

CommieCanuck said...

I have to admit, I don't get the Pegoretti interview. It was supposed to be funny somehow.
BTW..It's pronounced EYE-talian.

mikeweb said...

DB, my only worry about such a watershed pubic hair style change is the effect on the economy. What will happen to all of the waxers?!? This could collapse the entire southern California pornography industry!!

This could be even worse than the subprime crisis. New Fed chairperson Janet Yellen needs to take action immediately!

Spokey said...

yellen doesn't start until monday. But benjy quits today. So no fed over the weekend.

WE ARE DOOMED




robot Platonists alhnges my ass!

DB said...

Mikeweb:
Indeed.
And has anyone considered the esthetics in all this? What if one shaves the legs but has a full bush? Won't that be top-heavy?
Discuss.

babble on said...

ACED it. :D

Sad sad sad week with the loss of Pete Seeger. Still, there is a time for everything, and now it's Taboo season!
Forget the Fondo, let's do the Grand Fondle.

mikeweb said...

Q: What do too tight panties and Brooklyn have in common?


















A: Flatbush.

Yarpo said...

"from the country of Europe."........priceless...and hats off to Dario Pegoretti for being patient and not kicking the interviewer in the nutsack regions.

Dario bears a great resemblance to the Naked-Guy-In-Chacos-Sitting-On-The-Outdoor-Shitter from a recent posting. Coincidence? We'll let YOU be the judge!

Off to Colorado for a couple of weeks of ice climbing, so all of you have a fun, scranus-y, time and remember that riding your bici during the Superbowl often means wonderfully empty streets and roads, so take advantage of it, even though it is Un-Merkin to not watch the Superblow...bowl, I mean.

WHACK...crunch, crunch. WHACK...crunch, crunch.

CommieCanuck said...

Remember the Ford video where he was going all apeshit-like and threatening someone?

Turns out, he ordered a jailhouse beat-down on his sister's ex-boyfriend, who threatened to talk to the press about his drug use. This guy is now suing Ford. He also shot Ford's heroine-addict sister in the face.

Just another day in the life on Canada's Royal Family.

babble on said...

Commie - What I want to know is when we'll finally see that fat bastard behind bars where he belongs.

rural 14 said...

Rural 1st!
My wheel eyebrows got jammed by ice / gravel /sand slurry this am. Means spring is nearer.

Pegorini, whatever / the interviewer duder...great dead pan.

Sidewall dynamo fell off and was runned over this AM. What's next? Whatever happened to the Alpacalypse? Before the shark.

Pogo Roberto said...

I had some shithead car user dose me over my head in ditch water today so car driving is still okay.

While I was covered in head to overshoe'd toe in waterproofs in Trafford Park, Manchester, UK.

I certainly gave him the finger as I was fine and still dry inside my scuba gear.

All hail Bike Snob NYC! We read and appreciate you from across the pond.

Spokey said...

grand fondle

thx babs

cotd so far






devour disnrol

Smedley Burkhart said...

The value of Rapha plummets if you remove the tags, but you can keep them safe and re-attach them for especially grim and monochromatic rides.

…and thank you for keeping the Sterno® lit under the Gran Fondue. Everyone knows it's a raclette.

Regular guy said...

Who's up for a customized crisp feather peg-ging in London ?

That was some fine premeditated motorcycle tipping. Stop, drink, think, tip, ride away feeling like the biggest loser on two wheels.

Or maybe it was his ex's new boyfriends bike.

CommieCanuck said...

What I want to know is when we'll finally see that fat bastard behind bars where he belongs.

Politician behind bars for criminal activity. Good one, whew! [wipes tears]

Roille Figners said...

Member the guy who was all "Welp now that we can't idolize/follow a man" [Lance] "how about we idolize/follow a brand?" [Rapha] What a douche.

Roille Figners said...

I must confess I've been slacking off on my Fords-watching. After a while it kind of got to be like "Will the sun come up again today?" Yep sure enough...

Smedley Burkhart said...

Where's the neo-vintage-looking kit? I want an itchy wool jersey with front pockets for my baggy of raw hamburger, and pointy shoes with leather-look soles, this summer. Cyclo-fashion opportunity?

A Weed Afternoon said...

#44 - Weed! Only 33 digits from Sunset Strip.

RoadQueen said...

Damn! Missed the one about the bike.

A Dose of Babble a Day Keeps the Doctor Away said...

Babble said "Grand Fondle" Sounds good to me Babs, I'll meet you at Wreck Beach (in a few months when temps will allow grand fondles on a beach).

Anonymous said...

Hey Snobbie - did you notice that the ad for WorkCycles uses tri-dork Eric? For shame...

dancesonpedals said...

Yo, DB..

take a look at the Air New Zealand safety vid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCbPFHu3OOc

babble on said...

LOL! What WAS I thinking?

And the fat bastard himself is here in Vancouver for the weekend, too... just arrived. God I hope he isn't driving.

ge© said...

Rapha, it will change your ... marraige? As in, she'll divorce you for thinking you pissed away your paycheck on kit?

Oh, and anon 1:10. I'm one more rainstorm away from caving in and buying an internal hub / belt drive / drum brake bike, so +1 to Snob, -1 to you!

12th Man said...

GO SEAHAWKS!!

McFly said...

Dario Pergoretti Darren Crisp and Ryan Feather all sound like porn names.

JB said...

Am I first?

RoadQueen said...

I'm not liking where the male pubic hair trend is going. As far as I'm concerned, a 'fro is a 'fro, no matter where it's located on the body.

'Fro's went out a long time ago...and I don't want them to come back. I'm kinda partial to the 'military cut' look, myself.

Freddy Murcks said...

Babble - you keep offering things like the Grand Fondle, but when are you going to finally deliver? Inquiring minds want to know.


appoint fuencpo

DB said...

I'm back.
Had to get groceries.
Thanks DoP, Air NZ has a great video.

ashamed to use my real pseudonym said...

RQ I need brain bleach after your comment..I imagined long lines of jarhead recruits getting their 'haircuts' at parris island with big electric shears...

(no...no salons in nyc to straighten hair for a crew cut)

CommieCanuck said...

...And the fat bastard himself is here in Vancouver for the weekend, too... just arrived.

I'm at even odds he is photographed or on video with some BC bud. They practically hand it to you at the airport, it's the Maple Syrup of Western Canada.

the Jimboner said...

Babs, Drunk Cyclist is giving you big ups on the Assbook.

CommieCanuck said...

I'm not liking where the male pubic hair trend is going. As far as I'm concerned, a 'fro is a 'fro, no matter where it's located on the body.

Which is why manscaping looks like this.

trama said...

All,

Any heehaw to be had with variations on "Grand Fondo" has long been had.

RoadQueen said...

Ashamed - A beard trimmer and a razor is all I'm saying. The look I'm thinking of is like a High and Tight for your scranal/pubic area.

Short on top, bottom and side burns shaved.

Euro Spondee said...

@ge© - I did cave in and get an internal hub for the last few years I commuted in London before retiring to the country. Saved a lot of cleaning, wear and tear, grief, etc. People occasionally laughed at the set-up though...

RoadQueen said...

trauma, I have to respectfully disagree. One can never have enough heehaw on variations on "Grand Fondo".

Roille Figners said...

Not yet used:

Gran Fondo a la Turk

Trust Fundo

Bay of Fondo

Gran Fromundo

Gramps Fondle

crosspalms said...

Roille,
And next time I'm at Starbucks I'll order a Grande Fondle and see what happens.

Ze french cheeze said...

Gran Fondo? Here´s the Gran Pa:

Robert Marchant, 102 years old, just beat today the Masters (age 100 + years) hour record with 26,952 km (that´s 16,75 miles for you royalists) in front of 300 supporters in Paris´brand new velodrome.

http://www.francetvinfo.fr/sports/cyclisme/video-le-cycliste-centenaire-bat-une-nouvelle-fois-son-propre-record-de-l-heure_519327.html

Oh, and he will be tested for doping in order to validate the record. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

better check your math there, cheeze

wishiwasmerckx said...

CC, addicted to heroines? How peculiarly charming. Glad she's not on drugs or addicted to heroin or anything...

Ze french cheeze said...

16,75*1,609= 26,95

McFly said...

Grin Fondle

Which I am about to do. She is little so sometimes I do caveman foreplay. Throw her over my shoulder and smack that ass as I walk up the steps to the bedroom. She likes it.

DB said...

Hot Tub Time Machine on TV tonight.

Snob:
What goes through your head when you read these comments? What have you created here? Well done, Sir.

Spokey said...

DB

what makes you think anything goes through his head? Good Lob, the man is too busy doing his own Grand Fondle selfie.



one ndaeoon is better than none.

Fordulin Slip said...

Rob Rob the Ford was greeted like a rockstar at YVR (Vancouver's airport) today. He most certainly IS the new Canadian royalty. We are so fucked.







creepy drunkcyclist said...

I knock over motorcycles whenever there's an opportunity.I tried to knock over cars but it was too hard

Dream Job said...

Really my professional life is over because I just can't stop laughing...and biking BSNY C OMG

Anonymous said...

mr. Bikesnob,

All I have to do is type in "bi" and my computer directs me to your website.

I believe my computer has used it's awesome data mining algorhythms to determine that you swing both ways.

leroy said...

Ride safe, stay warm, embrace joy all!

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Mikeweb --

My dog asked me if you know what Brooklyn and Rapha bib shorts have in common.





Bushwick.

Apparently he reads the same publications you and Mr. DB read.

McFly said...

Cold weather's greatest gift to mankind? I propose that it is............yoga pants.

DB said...

Leroy:
Imagine you'll be stocking up on snacks and drinks for the Puppy Bowl tomorrow.

babble on said...

Sweeet! Dirty is DA BOMB!

Oh ho! So the RCMP confirmed that Robs Fords were ticketed in Coquitlam last night, for jaywalking and - get this- public intoxication.

Quelle surprise.

babble on said...

Er, Mr Murks. I beg to differ. Please. I urge you to try to name even one other bike blogger who has ever shared a personal wanking photo!

ge© said...

OMG Babs, I could see him from where I live. Hang on ... just shut the curtains. Going into hermit mode.

ge© said...

Interesting that in all the years I've lived here I've seen a lot of people jaywalking but never seen anyone ticketed. The guy just attracts trouble. Wait, he walked across the street? He didn't drive his giant SUV? Something's not right with this story.

BamaPhred said...

There is a community in these parts called Bushwood. I don't ride through it. Don't want to know why.

I haven't involved myself in a conversation about pubic hair since junior high.
So much for that.

Yes, I will agree about the yoga pants. During the recent ice and snow unpleasantness here, there were lots and lots of yoga pants frolicking about.

And I learned I can't ride a bike on an iced over road.

babble on said...

ge - yeah, he may not have been driving a giant suv at the time, but he was undoubtedly jaywalking to get to a giant suv and drive away in his drunken state.

JLRB said...

"Tilin competed as a category 4 racer and described racing with drugs as “super duper fun” because of the increase in strength and stamina."


Someone send this guy to Colorado for some super duper doper fun

McFly said...

You realize Robba the Fords is worth about 50 mil? He does what he wants. Like the Beebs.

1Lessmayor said...

GRAN FORDO! Harrrh. I laugh at my own wit.

DB said...

1Lessmayor for the CoD win.

JLRB said...

Did someone say snow in NYC?

babble on said...

Between Beebs, Ford, and our very own Dr Evil we really are a laughable lot.

Anonymous said...

you have no life

Anonymous said...

yeah, laughable and pathetic.

Bike Palmer said...

Your blog is maintained very well with lots of stuffs but please do more post with more knowledge.

Freya George said...

Bike Snob NYC your friday fun quiz is actually laughable. You guys are influential and that's why I love your blogposts like a love maple manor