Monday, June 17, 2013

This Just In: Exciting News For Your Scranus or Vulvanus!

As you know, Brooks England, generous sponsors of this blog, have been working on a revolutionary (for them) new saddle called the Cambium which doesn't require them to kill cows:



Translation: "I actually don't give a shit whether they kill me for a saddle or not because I'm a cow and have nothing to live for anyway, and dying for your convenience is basically my purpose on this earth, but if it makes you feel better then great."

Anyway, Brooks have just informed me that you can now buy the first batch of these guilt-free saddles via their website:


Moreover, this first batch of 1,000 saddles will have "a number etched into its nose rivet," which sounds like the sort of body modification you'd get to complement your Prince Albert, and if it's even half as comfy as the Brookseses I have on my bikes now then it's still, uh, very comfy.

Anyway, thought you'd like to know.

And now back to today's regularly scheduled whatever.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

44 comments:

BoaB said...

Could it be a podium for me?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Surprise Podio!

McFly said...

Double pode?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Double pode indeed. Nice work McFly.

Dooth said...

Is the vegan Brooks soy based? Scranus allergies, you know.

Anonymous said...

Brooks boogie

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I wonder if they let Eric the Chamferer run the engraver and number the nose rivets?

samh said...

I WILL CUT YOU!

Anonymous said...

I signed up for a possible test ride. Hopefully they will take mercy on me and my delicate scranus.

ChamoisJuice said...

OK, what am I looking at here?

Your $300 custom steel stem (which I'm sure is heavier and flexier than a $80 thomson) appears to have a oversized clamp with a bigass silver shim for your pinner hot dog down a hallway titanium bars. Which should be much wider, anyways.
Throw both of those is the garbage. Shorter stem and wider bars.

And then we get to your $250 custom steel seatpost (again, heavier and flexier than a $80 thomson). What is that black shim lookin' thing sticking out of the seattube, if not a shim?

$2500 custom frame -> cable brakes = cognitive dissonance.

FUCKING ERGO GRIPS = you lose in bicycle correctness debates.

I can assure you I am never on any corny old man bikeforums.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

CJ this is a corney old man bike forum.

Anonymous said...

This is a stupid bike forum, and I'm in the top twenty! Woohoo!

Comment deleted said...

STFU, CJ.


Connected cipagas?

crosspalms said...

This morning I was riding behind one of those people who never gets off the seat, even if it means rocking from side to side on tiptoe at a light. Made me wonder if he has a scranal cleat surgically attached, so he can clip in at the beginning of the ride and clip out at the end, and never have to worry about falling off the bike if he happens to ride upside down. Will the Cambium accommodate such a cleat, or should I just smack the idiot upside the head with it?

capcha previews new Apple product, some idecide

ChamoisJuice said...

I didn't even get to how ugly that seat stay junction is... nevermind that forkabortion. It's like goofy parts from the '90's are no longer available, so he needs to custom order ugly, heavy gear.

One of these days I am going to compare and contrast Bikesnob's Onone vs. the Engin. They both suck, but one sucks worse.

Siggy said...

CJ - what we really want to know is: do you hate Snob's bikes as much as you hate your life? Because that would be a lot.

Robot wins again: azatting again

BamaPhred said...

What? a blog two a day stage race? And dnf'd both of them. To the winners, congrats.

ChamoisJuice said...

It just makes me chuckle that bikesnob now thinks that his bike setup is advertising his insecurities regarding Cipolini, mascualinity, and sexual performance. And that he wonders if the goofy tiller effect is making him crash all the time.

I am bored at work. I love this blog, but am disappointed that it has become more accepting of non conventional bikes.
THIS IS NOT NAM! THERE ARE RULES!

I'm not wrong. I'm just an asshole.

Anonymous said...

Either CJ is Rain Main. "yeah, the stem is too long, yeah tiller effect yeah"

or he is WCRM making fun of himself.

I have a feeling that Snobbie has much better things to do than critique his own bike setup to such a minute degree.

Anonymous said...

Why hasn't anyone asked what CJ rides?
CJ, what do you ride?

CommieCanuck said...

FUCKING ERGO GRIPS = you lose in bicycle correctness debates.

Those are actually really good for bunny hopping to help lift the rear tire, but you would know that if you rode a bike.

Let's see a pic of your Barbie Deluxe Speedie bike, those white tires and pink bar end streamers are da bomb.

ChamoisJuice said...



Sorry, you don't know what the fuck you are talking aboot.

The only people who rub/rep/rock ERGO grips, are old gapers who rely on clipless pedals to get the rear wheel off the ground.

Find me a photo of someone hopping a picnic table with ergo grips... it has never happened.

CommieCanuck said...

Back to important shit. What do cows think about synthetic polymers? How many Yoohoo bottles died for my saddle? I keep wake at night thinking about these things. My current saddle is actually fiber reinforced with red pubic hair from 20 year old virgins.

SUST NBLE

CommieCanuck said...

The only people who rub/rep/rock ERGO grips, are old gapers who rely on bla bla bla
Find me a photo of someone hopping a picnic table bla bla


1. Oh, so you're some retarded teenager.
2. Never assume people give a fuck about your comments, I never do.
3. it's the internets, you could be Rob Ford.
4. If 3 is true, can you hook me up with some good shit?

Comment deleted said...

Commie, #2 is the wisest thing written on today's Internet.

But I don't give a fuck.

Anonymous said...

So do you think David Byrne will get one of these saddles? You know he doesn't have a car.

Anonymous said...

Auxiliary posting update! Not exactly moo-free here.

hey nonny mouse

Anonymous said...

The Brooks Cambium vegan friendly saddle is compatible with the universal crabon scranus I assume?

Anonymous said...

I just re-lubed and adjusted an old cup and cone bottom bracket. It took me two hours and it was not much fun to do.

Anonymous said...

sweet! just what I needed for my huffy.

Anonymous said...

145 Euros!! Cost for one Cambium saddle here in Italy. It's simply crazy. I'll buy a cow instead. Cheers.
Luca

McFly said...

I literally do not think I could MTB if it were not for ERGONS. I literally just used literally. I wish I could find some ERGONS for my Honda CR250.

Jan! said...

Anonymous (re: € 145): you can get 10% off if you register on the Brooks site.

Unrelated: has everyone seen this rather spiffy video on YouTube? ROB FORD SOS DOUCHE MEGAMIX

fresquinho said...

"At times, [he] is brilliant, as in his famous bike lane video. Other times, he's kinda douchey"
-- bikesnobnyc, on Casey Neistat.

My thought about this post. What's with the cow dissing?

BamaPhred said...

Ergo grips? It just hit me. Ergo grips are military grade gun grips, so unless you want to bunny hop picnic tables on full auto, or compete in a bikeen 3 gun, I would not suggest those either. I'm not suggesting any of that at anytime. Hence Mcfly's sly use of all caps on ERGONS, which are Lob's gift to carpel tunnel relief.

leroy said...

Is the need to hock a loogie while mountain biking with certain grips after commenting on a bike blog "post hoc ergo propter hoc"?

I've got $10 riding on the answer.

dnk said...

Okay, I bought the fucking saddle! Or I pre-bought it.

1. I have been feeling guilty by reading the BSNY blog without ever clicking on an ad or buying one of Snobs books. I am a freeloading cheapskate who enjoys the blog.

2. I have been feeling guilty because I am a vegan type person guy who likes Brooks saddles.

3. So this purchase seemed like a no-brainer.

4. To Snob and to Eric the Chamferer: you are welcome. Really, it was my pleasure.

5. To Snob and to Eric the Chamferer: while making purchase of my vegan saddle I was directed to an Italian language credit card page. And guess what? Me no speaka Italia. So that was weird, but I still made the purchase. So I hope this is on the up & up.

babble on said...

MOOOOOOOOOVE over, mid-pack fodder!

Matt said...

It's funny how some people think we ought to set up our bikes to make them happy.

I'll tell you what makes me sad: my Captcha: CoItal over

Anonymous said...

SOUL DOUT

Anonymous said...

Ground Round Jim is the most annoying commenter in bike blog history. Thankfully he doesn't post here. Paternalistic pompous know it all douchebag. I hope the asswipe reads this. We hate you -- Readers

Anonymous said...

Two days late and a dollar short. The only guilt one can achieve with purchasing the new 'guilt free' Brooks cabnibumrumbum saddle is the guilt of paying so much for so little.

Perrico Delgado said...

2 days laye here too. Just wanted to say I enjoyed the comments today. well played erryone.

Anonymous said...

Anyway, having duly acknowledged my mistakes, I'd like to return to a time before I made them. Google