Tuesday, February 5, 2013

This Just In: I Have To Go Somewhere To Do Something!

Tomorrow I am leaving for San Francisco, which means I will not be updating this blog again until Monday, February 11th, at which point I will resume regular updatings.  In the meantime, I would like to invite all in the San Francisco Bhey Area on an "epic" mixed-terrain cycling adventure followed by a lavish gourmet feast at a Michelin-starred restaurant.

But I can't, because I'm only in town for two days, and I'll be busy the whole time making a video for my new book.

However, I can invite you to be an extra in this video.  Yes, if you've ever dreamed of being on YouTube to help some schmuck sell something, you can report to the following places at the following times:

12-1pm on Thursday, February 7th, at South Park

3-5pm on Friday, February 8th, at the Windmill.

If you choose to join in, please dress as "Euro" as possible (interpret that as you will), and if you have a Dutch bike or similarly practical (or hefty) city bike then ride it.

The video is being made by Plus M Productions, who made my last video.  If you're not familiar with Plus M Productions, one of the two principals is this guy:



Or, if you prefer, this guy:



So obviously it's worth showing up just to get his autograph.

In the meantime, impending travel is usually my cue to tie up unfinished business at home, though when you're a bike blogger-cum-book author the truth is you don't really have much business.  Really, this scene from a cinema classic speaks most accurately to the condition of being a blogger:



Nevertheless, even I have things to do occasionally.  Specifically, awhile back a gun enthusiast was auctioning a copy of "Bike Snob" on eBay because he hates me now, and I promised that I'd write a poem and draw a picture in it for the winner.  Well, I've been a little late in actually doing that, but I'm pleased to report that the muse sat on my face yesterday evening and furnished me with the necessary inspiration:


There once was a man from Londinium,
Who had quite a painful perineum.
He bought a Brooks seat,
And it soothed his sore meat,
But to break it in took a millennium.


Suck on that, Walt Whitman.

Speaking of Brooks, before starting this blog I'd never actually owned one of their sitting devices, but now I have no fewer than three.  (That's pretentious for "I have exactly three.")  Not only do I find them all exceedingly comfortable, but they also felt that way almost immediately, with no lengthy break-in period required.  I'm not sure why this is, but I imagine that years of sitting perched on the end of hard plastic saddles while desperately clinging to the back of the field in park races has given me a scranus of steel, and I'll take that proudly to the grave:


My last wishes, by the way, are to be portaged in a bakfiets on a funereal theme ride through the streets of Portland and then dumped unceremoniously into my grave and sprinkled with Stumptown coffee grounds.

In the meantime, I'm making life count by reading Twitter, and this Tweet amused me:


While I certainly have no intention of engaging in a "blog off" with Fat Cyclist (he'd win, he's very competitive), I am always enthralled by scientific lube studies:


Jean-Paul Sartre famously wrote "Hell is other people," but if you ask me Hell is spending all your time alone in a lab testing lubes:

Smith’s process for testing the lubes is time-consuming, involving a multi-stage stripping and lubing procedure before each chain ever hits a piece of test equipment. He is meticulous; each lube is tested on three different chains under exactly the same load, always in the same direction, and every chain is identically impregnated with each lube thanks to the use of an ultrasonic machine.

Though if you edit that down it does sound a lot like "foffing off" and impregnating someone from across the room:

Testing the lubes...time-consuming...multi-stage stripping...lubing procedure...meticulous...same load, always in the same direction...impregnated.

Basically, it's all a bunch of "tooting your own horn"--which, it turns out, is exactly what Velo(news) is doing:


Now allow us to toot our own horn, at least a bit. At Velo, we take our testing seriously. No “laterally stiff and vertically compliant” nonsense here — unless something actually is. 


Yes, I agree that using the phrase "laterally stiff and vertically compliant" is far more ridiculous than spending $50,000 on a bunch of equipment to test lube.

And in conclusion:

After exploring Smith’s lab, it is clear that this lube test is only the start. Smith is measuring, or will be soon, the efficiency of various pedals, chainrings, chainlines, hubs, bottom brackets and more. It’s a goldmine of incredible data, and it’s a safe bet that you’ll find more of it in the pages of Velo going forward.

To which I would append the following:

Get out!  Get out now!

Once you've reached the point where you consider lube test results "incredible data" it's already too late, so if you're even remotely intrigued now do yourself a favor and get rid of your crabon bike immediately.  Buy a Rivendell, take up golfing, break both your legs, whatever it takes.  Believe me, you do not want to disappear down the Fredhole of friction and wattage--because while you might save 2.5 seconds in the local race you'll never win anyway, there's no recouping the loss in time, money, and human relationships.  One day you're perusing incredible chain lube data in the pages of Velo, and the next you're getting busted for doping in a Gran Fondo and your coach at CTS isn't returning your calls.

It's just not worth it.

With that, I will take my leave and fortify myself for the smuggery of San Francisco.  I hope to see one or two of you out there and either way I look forward to returning to all three of you on Monday.

Love,


--Wildcat Rock Machine




218 comments:

1 – 200 of 218   Newer›   Newest»
McFly said...

What

Kenny said...

AND THAT'S HOW A BILL BECOMES A LAW!

McFly said...

Am I the only one that is uttely amazed at my clean streak?

Blog Drafter said...

ZOOTS

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Sheesm 707

Anonymous said...

top teen

Blog Drafter said...

Read the post...fun stuff Snob, thanks.

babble on said...

wow... short really is short - we'll miss you.

Anonymous said...

TOP TEEN

mikeweb said...

Hasta la pasta

Anonymous said...

Tell the truth, that extras call for "a video for my new book" is actually a recruitment drive for a study on scranus efficiency.

crosspalms said...

Enjoyed looking at ! and ! and !.

The lube test has me wondering how I can make my bike's fenders and panniers more aerodynamic and shave a few seconds off my commute.

Ride and video safely, Snob!

11321 maddng, which is right next to the maddng crowd

mikeweb said...

And props to McFly for 2 podium steps and an unprecedented clean streak.

He's gone all Ward Cleaver and shit. Too bad.

vantage said...

Yeesh. Late to the start. Again.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I might buy a Rivendell someday but I am not taking up golf. Don't do the ball sports.

Have fun in San Francisky.

Don't forget to wear a flower in your hair.

jim.cassa said...

What the hell is wrong with friction. It's saved my butt a few times, and also made my wife relatively happy... for a little while at least.

JB said...

crabon aero-basket

Anonymous said...

Go Drafter! (ZOD)

JB said...

If there were no friction, you couldn't turn your bike.




















Think about it.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, KNEEL BEFORE ZOD.

Anonymous said...

Approve

Top 10

Comment deleted said...

Congratulations on your imminent cum book, Snob, though I didn't think you were going in that direction (not that there's anything wrong with that).

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

If you don't come to Cleveland for a bra stop sometime soon I'm gonna quit buying your damn books.

McFly said...

I've been walkin' the line lately, but I have a feeling that The Beaver is in for it tonight. A good tongue-lashing followed up with a mild spanking is in order.

Anonymous said...

DB here. Tired of Google.
I assume the Flaming Lips will be the soundtrack for your video?

Anonymous said...

LANCE!!!!! "YOU'LL NEVER WALK.....errrr....RIDE ALONE"

HYPOCRISY is a DANGEROUS NOUN...........

ken e. said...

bon voyage!

Anonymous said...

After exploring Smith’s lab, it is clear that this lube test is only the start. Smith is masturbating, or will be soon.


Fixed it.


balls™

mikeweb said...

You spelled Doosh wrong. For all eternity.

A Castle said...

Very interesting and entertaining videos.

Billy said...

Will your commercial be on KRON TV like this one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gz0NRNudFXA

3G said...

SCRANUS

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

"Using more $50,000 worth of purpose-built, self-funded testing equipment, Smith is analyzing everything from bearings to bushings, jockey wheels to pedal spindles to chain lubricants."

-Artisanal Friction Testing

Blog Drafter said...

Snob, take the captchas off for the rest of the week. I feel a comment-a-thon coming on. Can't do it with those captchas gettin' in the way. We'll put up with the spam till you get back.

Anonymous said...

FRIC TION

DATA MINE

FRED TRAP

leroy said...

I left my heart in San Francisco,
but my diginity in Poughkeepsie.

My dog sold me some flowers for my hair. Turned out they were plastic.

Marcel Da Chump said...

San Francisco treat.

CommieCanuck said...

VeloNuws is emulating European magazines that test bike shit and try to put numbers on stuff. It typically works out to, "this is 5% better*".

(*plus or minus 5%)

The underlying theme is that you have to buy more to go faster. They are still pushing the concept that Lance Armstrong won races because of his strict cycling research and development with Trek. They have to, otherwise one would conclude that the whole magazine has been bullshit for the last decade.

Capcha is telling me to burn things.

Frilly Chick said...

jim.cassa, I beg to differ.

FRIC TION
FREE FUCK
TEST LUBE

Or it might just be me.

babble on said...

Oh how I wish I could heft my hefty dutch bike on down to San Francisco. I would love to dress all Euro and be extra to your project.

Guess I'll have to stay here and slave drive any kidlets I can get my hands on instead.

CommieCanuck said...

Yesterday, I warned that when visiting SF, do not assume a club named "Backpackers" is about the great outdoors.

<a href="http://www.backpacker.com/>This must all be confusing to gay men </a>.

Anonymous said...

More lube testing jokes, please. Thanks.

CommieCanuck said...

meh..


This must all be confusing to gay men .

Frilly Chick said...

Oh and nice podio McFly.

g-roc said...

Slippery slope McFly, slippery slope.

ge said...

Hey Snob, if you didn't video it, it never happened. Oh wait, you've got that covered. Carry on.

CommieCanuck said...

By dressing all euro, he means this.

hwarhwarhwar....stoopeeed americahhns.

Anonymous said...

Dear Wildcat Rock Machine,

I'll see you on Friday. Should I show up with panniers on my city bike?

Scranus

CommieCanuck said...

Am I the only one that is uttely amazed at my clean streak??

Not Really, in this tough economy, many are unemployed. If anyone accuses you of anything, just call them a cunt.

Captcha is telling me to burn precise addresses.

babble on said...

I lurrrrrrve lube. It's fun in a tube.

I can test some for you.

Anonymous said...

DB here.
Frilly: let's discuss Ragbrai. I'm at robertleesimmons@gmail.com.
Anyone else interested, let me know.
I'm picturing Frilly and Babbles on a tandem.

Comment deleted said...

Commie, I am studying this documentary to figure out what to wear.

P. Bateman said...

You scoff at lube testing now, but i think you'll appreciate the extra 6% increase in viscosity when you are out in San Francisco.

what? they hills are steep. you need smooth running gear.

what else did you think i was talking about?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I'm picturing Frilly and Babbles on a recumbent tandem.

grog said...

Is there singletrack in Frisco?
BONV YAGE
RICE RONI
WILD CATT
ROCK MCHN

bw said...

Are you aware that your Thursday shoot is basically at Strava headquarters?

Mark Maidique said...

Lance and Strava:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324445904578284144255080394.html

Mark Maidique said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Top 60! said...

Oh, that short.

Dennis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Will, you be, in my video,
Darling every night ...

You can show your legs
as you're getting in the car
and I will look repulsive
as I mangle my guitar ...

F. Zappa, "Be in my Video"

Anonymous said...

Dennis @2:27 -- That's a great idea!

Now, where can I score myself a king size bottle of AstroGlide?

Anonymous said...

My woman don't need no lube, unless I'm hitting the stink pipe. Yours in christ,
Mario C.

Comment deleted said...

"Hitting the stink pipe"...man, it doesn't get any sexier than that.

Anonymous said...

Hey! When is BSNY/MC Spandex super best friends video collaboration dropping?

Anonymous said...

My mom always told me I'm special, so I must be one of the three he's coming back to next week.

Forget Leroy's Dog, it's Pavlov's Dog howling in said...

I'm picturing Babble and Frilly and forget about the bike.

donzo said...

BRKS SADL
ASSH ACHT

http://yarchive.net/bike/leather_saddles.html

Annie Leibovitz said...

If McFly is first and third how do you take a podium picture without resorting to Photoshop, the EPO of photography?

McFly said...

It really is unprecedented in the "Capcha Era".

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hey Annie, I love your work.

It's always amazing who drops by the BSNYC blog.

bikesgonewild said...

...how appropriate that bsnyc/rtms/wcrm, our very own don quixote de la mancha, our 'tilter of windmills' as per all things cycling, along with his squire sancho panza as played by helper monkey vito, who we'll assume will ride something donkey-ish with 24" wheels, should end up as west as west could be, here in these 'contiguous', whilst raising his lance within the shadow of a san francisco windmill...

...has a bakefiets worthy of the name rocinante, his lunbering steed, been procured ???...

...once again, eben cervantes weiss lunges forth 'from sea to shining sea'...

...just sayin'...

Mick Jagger said...

RCT, yeah no kiddin' mate. Annie, how ya bin?

crosspalms said...

Annie,
Bret could take all three podio spots and shoot the picture, too.

Roille Figners said...

- nonplussed


ro-EE feen-YAY

Pops I mean, Pops said...

Can a person be a bike snob and live in the midwest? I mean, my buddies went to the CX worlds and wore tyvek suits. But I didn't cause KY is for horses.

http://travelswithpops.blogspot.com/2013/02/if-that-was-too-many-words.html

crosspalms said...

I wanted to make some joke about Rouille "Jockomo" Figners and Mardi Gras, got tangled up in Wikipedia, gave up on the joke but found my favorite sentence of the day: ""Jakamo Fi Na Ye" is also, whether coincidentally or not, the phrase "The black cat is here" in Bambara, a West African Mandingo language."

I have a black cat and from here on will say "Jakamo Fi Na Ye" when he comes in the room.

Dooth said...

"if you love someone, set them free"

Anonymous said...

Spending my time alone testing lubes is my idea of a good time.

babble on said...

It's more fun with a friend.

HeelsOnWheels said...

Anon at 2:50, I don't know what a collaboration is, but I admit that an MC Spandex/BSYNC collabo is definitely in order. Bret cameo?

4020 ngestso. Thank Lob it's lunchtime.

Anonymous said...

Your thumb looks like a Witchety Grub

Dooth said...

But if you REALLY love someone, lube them well.

Anonymous said...

Somehow missed "VeloLab stiffness tests"

Comment deleted said...

It took until this late in the day for me to notice that Dieter's son is in the first video. Duh.

Anonymous said...

dude that old dutch windmill powers two piston pumps; one to move poop out past 3rd break, and the other to fill epic burrittoos.

ivaaaly 699

Vegas said...

Lovely book inscription, Snob. A treasure to hand down for generations. Or now they can re-eBay it for even more dinero.

vacymo 9885
Vacuum-O nine dee eight! How's that for a crosspalms tie-in?

Anonymous said...

Spending time with Babble testing lubes is my idea of a good time.

Anonymous said...

I follow Lance on Strava. It done ironically at the time but his stats are interesting to check out.

As far as looking euro and having a heavy bike, I have a pannier rack on an old school but nota wardrobe metro wardrobe enough to pass as European.

Think I can pull off the "living on the dole and taking advantage of sweet, sweet public healthcare" look.

Anonymous said...

'scuse the typos above.

43535 Tuestdo said...

These days, the whole world 'dresses Euro'.

What snobby means is don't dress like an American;

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/files/2010/10/US-Tourist.JPG

Anonymous said...

Take anti bacterial wipes to clean the seats. Rumor has it SF'cans can place their naked E coli ridden asses everywhere.

Sigmund Fried said...

So now that BSnyc's commenteratti realize that snobbie does not really love you as a person but is in fact a money grubbing consumer monkey whore just like the rest of us ...

How does that make you feel?

Angry?

Well I suggest that you all do some epo and roids then find someone much smaller than you and sucker punch them until they lose consciousness. You'll feel great!

That'll be $800.

Isn't this said...

















annoying?

Aren't I said...













a douche?

bikesgonewild said...

...i just saw 'norman, the bicycle riding french sheepdog' on that david letterman thingy & i'm thinking that bsnyc/rtms/wcrm better pick up his game if norman' knows how to write...

...hey, just observing, ya ???...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, switch off the robot-proofer for Draft.

Oh and... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so16hOgZxXU

(ZOD)

Panty Removal Services VanCouver said...

I really enjoyed the content of your panties, the B.O. monogramed napkins included with the complimentary tasting was a nice touch.

ce said...

100th Bakfiets

JB said...

If only their were a service that removed snow in Toronto...

JB said...

[crickets]

crosspalms said...

Vegas,
I'm throwing beads your way.

And it was fun to say "jakamo fi na ye" to the cat, but explaining it to my wife was complicated, especially the part about looking it up at work, and why.

Spambot from the Future said...

Hi admin i do not know how we give any comments on the blogs but we have read your post and i am wordless about your blogs that is a good kind of blogging its really awesome work...

David Byrne's Cybernetic Head said...

In the future I do not own a flying car.

Anonymous said...

Snob is busy on Twitter today.

P. Bateman said...

booooo hooooo no snoboooooroooohooo today.

by the way, i dont' care what you say about my musical taste - can't stop listening to dj distance. this track is good for weeednesdays

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMewZkHMmqk

Frilly Chick said...

Beads! Beads!

StL has the 2nd largest Mardi Gras in the US after New Orleans. So the beads'll be a flyin' at the parade Saturday & the boobies will be a showin'!

Frilly Chick said...

I should clarify that mine won't be showing. It takes more than a lousy strand of beads for the girls to come out & play.

And besides that, I have a race to do Saturday. Oh the smugness! Ha!

321 faffol

Comment deleted said...

good luck on Saturday, Frilly.

It appears that your midriff is acceptable to the Google Hassids.

Cleavage Police said...

Plus if you got "Number of Beads=Girth of Breasts" you would need a wheelbarrow.

Frilly Chick said...

Well there is that too, cp. Death by beading! Oh the shame!

Yes, the Google goon squad seems to be okay with the amount of skin showing.

babble on said...

Whereas I am happy to reveal mine beads or no...

Oh the life of a shameless trollop.

Frilly Chick said...

Babbs, I too am a trollop admittedly. Guess I'm more of a "by request" trollop. Oh now that sounds really bad too! Well, you know what I mean, maybe.

You would love Saturday and Tuesday night. Truly there are many sights to behold.

And the last time I went to the parade, I did end up w/a fair amount of beads w/o showing 'em by skillful catching. Not quite as interesting but less likely to lead to an arrest.

mikeweb said...

Frilly,

Have a blast Saturday and I hope you don't receive too hard a 'beading' on Tuesday.

babble on said...

Actually, what really interests me is the race you're riding this weekend. Good luck, sunshine!

Frilly Chick said...

Thanks MikeWeb. Hopefully I do better than I did last week. Painfully slow. Meh.

And, no no on Tuesday. That is way too much partying on a school night for me. Recovery takes a little bit longer than it used to. Awesome pun, btw.

bikesgonewild said...

...does a man or woman who goes to mardi gras just to look at breasts have '...beady eyes...' ???...

...just askin'...

Frilly Chick said...

Thanks Babbs. Its running not riding. I've never done just a bike race, always tri-ing. That was bad, I know.

bikesgonewild said...

...& i'll wait 'til friday to wish you "...good luck..." on your race, frilly-c so's ya don't get all nervous thinkin' about it ahead of time...

Frilly Chick said...

'beady eyes'

Nice one bgw!

Oh I'm not nervous. I've done a race almost every weekend for the last month and a half. Gotta keep motivated somehow, especially when its so freakin' cold and the bed is so incredibly warm. A good reason to get up & get out there.

vantage said...

uhhh...where da podium at ?

c'mon everybody..it's a new day and everything.

is snob the phlegm that holds this motley bunch together ?

Anonymous said...

I mean holy shit, can't you afford a laptop? Steve Tilford posts EVERY DAY with pictures, from his iPhone.

Also, he's WORLD CHAMP and you're not.

bikesgonewild said...

...sad how a '...world champ..." cyclist has to ride the coattails of a bikesnob, when ya think about it...

Anonymous said...

Tilford also says there wasn't enough waffles at the Worlds.

Drunk Fool said...

PURT 'EM ON THE GLASSHHH!!!

JB said...

Babble @ 1:44pm: prove it.

Frilly @ 1:55pm: consider this a request.

babble on said...

JB: Ok. Here you go.

Frilly Chick said...

I would JB, however I fear the Google police would blow up my computer MI style.

babble on said...

Yuppers. Actually, google blew up my chances to make some dosh off of adsense somewhere between this post and my diatribe on the use of that lovely word cunt.

you look great in lycra said...

for years the windmill was on both my commute (daly city bart to richmond dist) and lunchtime mtb loop (aka the tour de homelessness). the area around it is a well known casual sex pick-up spot among gay men. at night, i'd always ride on the road to keep from inadvertently plowing over anyone sleeping on the trails.

have fun.

bikesgonewild said...

...mmm, soft, warm & wonderfully delicate...

...& yes, i know/imagine what it's/they've been through but still...

Wolf Man Jack said...

Beads to throw and howling to do.

Fritz said...

Scranus of Steel

Ahmed Ali said...

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7 in. Shaft said...

What's all this talk of whipping things out? I thought this was a bikecycling blogular.

You people need to get your minds out of the sewers and back into the gutters.

JB said...

Thanks Babbs! I remember that now. It's a bit disembodied though, don't you think? ;)

Fair enough, Frilly. I'll be throwing beads at you during your race.

Frilly Chick said...

JB, if it'll get my BUMP moving faster, then bring it!

This will be my last one for awhile and I'd like to do well, but considering my training has been a bit lackadaisical -- yeah, maybe I really do need people throwing things at me.

Scranus Aurelius said...

Look back over the past, with its changing empires that rose and fell, and you can foresee the future too.

Anonymous said...

whenever I hear someone brag something is incredible, I agree that it is, but I secretly think that they don't know what that word means.

babble on said...

JB - no worries, it's still attached.

And BGW - I don't suppose it's/they've been through more than any other, excepting perhaps the fact that most of us don't fall from 50+ feet.

Needs beads, though.

the commentariat said...

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman with Saggy Breasts?

Comment deleted said...

ooh...commentariat gets an "asshole" stamp on his "man" card. Well done, sir.

bikesgonewild said...

...the only beads i usually carry are the beads of sweat on my forehead & upper lip that i've earned whilst pedalling but your delightful little 'nippers' deserve so much more...

...although.........never mind, not here, not now...

...the quest for appropriate beads begins...

...50+ feet ???...babble, you have a tale to tell...

...the only time i ever fell over 50 feet was when i tripped whilst boarding a bus...& had to offer 25 apologies...ba-da-bump...

babble on said...

Thanks CD, you're a doll.

I think that comment was kindov funny, actually... sagging breasts... 50 ft fall...

babble on said...

BGW -That little kersplatsky is what landed me in a chair for a while.

bikesgonewild said...

...ouch, babble...

...in my case, i didn't even get a seat on the bus...

...hadda stand...once i righted myself...

bikesgonewild said...

...ironically & absolutely so, we've had weeks of beautiful winter weather as in a lotta sunshine & nice daytime temperatures along with the typical chilly nights...

...bsnyc/rtms/wcrm shows up & the morning of his first video shoot, it drizzles...

...it's been patchy since with big puffy clouds & bits of sunshine & looks to be that way the rest of the day & tomorrow with, again more drizzle...

...to add "...palpably ironic..." to the mix, consider our lad may have a hard time getting back to nyc with that big snowstorm bearing down on the eastern seaboard...

babble on said...

Yikes... another big system for the big apple... safe travels, Wildcat.

crosspalms said...

In Chicago today, rain, snow, sleet, rain again, snow again, fog, now it's snow again, 33 degrees and falling. Sounds like a slitherfest.

Pops I mean, Pops said...

"the muse sat on my face" - one of the best lines I've heard in a while

http://travelswithpops.blogspot.com/

Lumpen fredetariat said...

Yeah, really Snob, thanks for bringing the crappy weather with you; I got well soaked riding out this morning. And come on, not even a word for those of us who can't be assed to look at Tweeter?

7 in. Shaft said...

I had a dream I titty-fuckin' Heather Graham like a baws and she morphed into Meatloaf.

The singer, not the cassarole.

If you need me I will be taking 3 hot showers.

7 in. Shaft said...

Because I went ahead and "finished up".

Aptitude said...

A blogger who doesn't update his site while traveling? THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO JUST TRAVEL BLOG! They have internet in San Diego or wherever you said you'd be.

Natural Hangin' Big Uns, Inc. said...

Frilly Chick report to base for Frilly Check.

Natural Hangin' Big Uns, Inc. said...

Babble we also need to verify that nipple length.

It's a scientific fact that women with pronounced external nipples are more horny than their counterparts of the flush-mount variety.

Well, actually it's not but I used to date one.

You just can't beat hands-on experience.

Anonymous said...

Podium!
Where's the quiz?
Good luck on your race tomorrow, Frilly.
DB

babble on said...

Hey Snobble Doodle Doo.... you should have a stand in for when you're busy with your many book related duties.

babble on said...

I'm taking bets on how long this one will last.

Comment deleted said...

Apparently, not long at all. The Modesty Squad has not fled the approaching storm.

First! said...

Aced the quiz!


What? Oh. Er, ah...

Say, what the hell happened to that one doofus's hair, in the video there? Does it have anything to do with the condition that caused him to act that way on camera? No healthy, sane person would humiliate him or herself like that.

the commentariat said...

Babble, the answer is that whatever perversion you posted, it is already down.

babble on said...

That's odd. It's still there on blogspot... Howz this?

McFly said...

What kind of weirdo does not clip-in on a Colnago? Also, Dat Ass.

babble on said...

That was the day I took possession. I was waiting on my shoes.

Comment deleted said...

Yeah, see that. What was so scandalous that required it to be pulled? Did you show your flower basket?

babble on said...

Weird, isn't it? It's a fairly tame post by my standards. I have no idea what happened.
I found a couple of photos last night which I am tempted to post next week, and those might just offend the mod squad.

And since adsense hates me anyway, I might just go there.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Ride well and have a nice weekend everyone. Good luck in your race frilly.

FUNK WHIZ
FREE DAY!

bikesgonewild said...

...a limerick-ial poem of common sense & physics - by bikesgonewild...

..."...a tisket, a tasket,
babbles got a brand new basket.
but laws of physics be damned,
in that basket she'll have crammed,
too much stuff which will ultimately trash it..."
...

...okay...the wicker looks great on your daily electrababe but study that side photo & think of the 'lever principal' & how any weight in your wicker creates serious stress at the point(s) of contact...

...for eons, old style baskets had two leather straps that directly attached the basket to the handlebar & a third point of contact might be the back edge of the wicker riding against the frame...

...so, without belaboring the point, your electrababe needs some type of rack-like support from beneath which could be simply fashioned & attached to the lower portion of the stem (thus turning with the bars n' basket) & ergo, thus relieving the lever principal & the ensuing stress...

...most baskets, dear heart, no matter their construct, prob'ly go on bikes that get ridden 'lightly' or 'on occasion' & it's no insult to say, that ain't you...

...best of luck for years of riding with your (soon hopefully adapted) "a tisket, a tasket, brand new wicker basket"...

mikeweb said...

1969 hoowng

Just had to relay that one. Not sure exactly what it is, but I'll try anything twice.

babbles, I think your link was dodgy - I also got a 'not found' message but then clicked your title logo and voila.

Are those the Look compatible pink Chucks?

bikesgonewild said...

...frilly chick must be revving up her engine...i mean getting herself psyched for 'the big event'...

bikesgonewild said...

...& bsnyc/rtms/wcrm got a reprieve at this end as in big puffy clouds & plenty of sunshine...

...dunno about getting home though...

...just sayin'...

Frilly Chick said...

Thank you DB and RCT!

And yep bgw, keepin' it low key tonight so as to be well rested. Tomorrow its supposed to be 50F here, so gonna go for a ride too. Woot!

Not to rub any of the East Coaster's noses in it or anything. We've had our fair share of crappy weather this winter.

NHBUI--still keeping 'em covered.

crosspalms said...

Good luck on the race, Frilly!

And good luck getting home, Snob. storm sounds bad.

babble on said...

BGW -Actually, the man did adapt the last one, and that's why it lasted so long. Still expired in the end, though.

MikeWeb - That's what the world needs, isn't it? Pink look compatible chucks.

Frilly Chick - run like the wind, girl! We're rooting for you... )

Frilly Chick said...

Thanks crosspalms!

And Babbs, you are my all time #1 girl crush! Love the pink chucks and the snakeskin jeans. Girrrrlll!

bikesgonewild said...

...i still get 'points' for the poetry, ya ???...

babble on said...

THANK you! xoxoxox

bikesgonewild said...

...whewww !!!...nice, now i feel better...

...if i can't be an engineer when i grow up, at least i've got a shot at being a poet...

...captcha bwaha - shadymx 2642...
...i am so NOT a robot...

bikesgonewild said...

...leroy ???...dog got your tongue ???...

leroy said...

Faux Friday Fun Quiz.

1. If it rains, take the bus, if it snows, _________

A. Convince your dog and his riding buddies that dog sledding is the new cyclocross.

B. Convince your dog and his riding buddies that in dog sledding the double paceline doesn't rotate.

C. Convince your dog and his riding buddies not to call PETA about dog sledding.

D. Take the A Train.

2. Which is worse:

A. Seeing an old guy in lycra.

B. Being an old guy in lycra.

C. Letting your dog write Question No. 2.

3. If your flight out of SFO is delayed due to weather, a fun way to pass the time at the airport is to

A. Pound Red Bull and Vodka with large guys.

B. Make numerous prank calls Grant Petersen asking to speak with Norm Peterson.

C. Tell Homeland Security screener he reminds you of Kevin James in "Paul Blart, Mall Cop."

D. You Tube karaoke.

4. Fill in the blank: "You know what's awesome, _____ is awesome."

A. Midgets

B. Bakefeets cyclocross

C. a T-Shirt reading "My father met BGW and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt with '...' on it"

5. The proper inflation for road tires in snowy conditions is

A. 110 psi

B. 110 DFU (Diminutive Frenchman Units)

C. 110 oz Cheez Whiz

D. If you have to ask ....

6. Fill in the blank "I would pay Leroy's dog good money to convince Frilly and Babs to post video of scantily clad pillow fight because ______."

A. No way could McFly keep up his clean streak.

B. BGW's pacemaker still under warranty.

C. A dog's gotta eat and Cheetos aren't cheap.

D. Have you ever done something that seemd like a much better idea before you actually went and did it?

Ride safe all!

babble on said...

OMG

PODIUM!!

I think I love you. xo xo

Mr. Clean said...

A.

The TSA said...

If you left a suspicious-looking package at the Bikesnob video shoot, we have a few questions we would like to ask you.

Lumpen fredetariat said...

Leroy, Can you and your dog sub in regularly when Snob is otherwise engaged - that quiz was the best.
In the meantime, still waiting for some eye-witness accounts of video snobular shenanigans in the warm and sunny part of the States

Hot Karl said...

Okay, TSA, it was me, I'm sorry. It seemed like a good idea at the time...

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

FFFQ +1 Leroy

akra bhatti said...

power prash
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

Ask and ye shall receive. Blessed be.

1 - E-all of the above
2 - D-doing the old guy in lycra?
3 - Red Bull and Vodka with large guys followed by a friendly war game of Die Hard.
4 - C- 'Just sayin' - (BTW: full points for poetry and ++ for design BGW xx)
5 - E -Be careful what you wish for ;)

bikesgonewild said...

...wow !!!...when it comes to cooking up & feeding us some tasty 'faux friday'
quiz-ine, there's a new big dog in the kitchen & it's leroy's dog's master...

...major props...

...that was a ladle full of lol, a belly full of bwahaha & straight up gastronomical guffaw...

...once again, my sufficiencies are suffoncified...

...burrrppp !!!...whoops, excuse me...sorry...

Anonymous said...

1)If Babble On stumbled into your apartment, drunk and horny, at 2 a.m. you would:

A)Suck her nipples like a starving puppy.

B)Like her kitty like it was a pie made out of cake.

C)Acheive optimum vaginal temp/lubricity and initiate Hot Beef Injection.

D)Cuddle

E)Send her packing

Dooth said...

That's a tough one. Not the nipple.

JB said...

A then B then C then A again then D then C then E.

babble on said...

Friday quiz-ine. Heh heh...

muhammad ibraheem said...

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bikesgonewild said...

...anon 9:27am...if babble stumbled into my apartment at 2:00am, i doubt she'd be either drunk or horny...


...massively tired from one long, 700+ mile (1130+ kilo) ride, i'm sure, so i'd offer her sustenance, a shower, a massage & then, yes, a warm cuddle & sleep...

...& once recovered, if she was up for 'play', well, i bet together we'd be so much more creative than most of your suggestions...

...but, hey...you work with what ya got, ya ???...

...just sayin'...

bikesgonewild said...

...not to imply, of course that our most elegant, if somewhat clumsy-cal babble on would ever wish to 'play' with this old man in lycra...

...i was just, you know, sayin'...

Anonymous said...

BGW,

You do B) and D) and I will knock out the C).

And the E).

Comment deleted said...

200? Really?

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