Tuesday, May 8, 2012

This Just In: Headed Abroad!

Further to yesterday's post concerning "dooring" in Melbourne, Australia, a commenter named Dee points out that ABC News have since published the following on their "Corrections & Clarifications" page:

Dooring cyclists


News Breakfast:  On May 7, the program interviewed Garry Brennan from Bicycle Network Victoria about a campaign to increase fines for motorists who open their car doors into the path of cyclists.  After the interview we suggested that cyclists should share some of the blame for ‘dooring’ incidents. The law states that this is incorrect. In every ‘dooring’ incident it is the fault of the person opening the door for not exercising due care.


I'd also like to see ABC "even the ledger up a tiny, weensy bit" by forcing the  offending hosts to ride Segways and then subjecting them to an on-camera dooring:


(Host indicating the "tiny, weensy" nature of his "ledger.")

But I suppose this retraction is the best we're going to get.

Anyway, as you read this, I am en route to London, England.  (Unless you're reading this later, in which case I'm probably already there, or unless you're reading this on March 22nd, 2017, in which case I'm knocking back olive oil martinis at Mario Cipollini's 50th birthday bash, or unless you're somehow reading this on April 12th, 1861, in which case you've got bigger things to worry about than bikes since the Civil War has just broken out, plus the safety bicycle hasn't even been invented yet anyway.)

The main reason for my visit to London is that I'll be fumbling with a BRA at Look Mum No Hands! (exclamation point theirs!, though that last one was mine!) on Thursday, May 10th at 5:30pm:


Also, if you're wondering about the origins of the shop's name, "Look Mum no hands!" is actually an old English expression that, roughly translated, means, "Look Mom, no hands!"

At some point during my time in England I'll also be visiting the Brooks factory, where Eric "The Chamferer" Murray has promised to make something called "minced meat" out of me.

Sounds delicious.

Then, from there I'll be headed to Italy for the Full Bike Day festival in Brindisi, where I'll be speaking on Sunday, May 13th:

And if you're wondering why a bike festival in Italy would want me, you may be surprised to learn that my first book was actually published in Italian:
Not only is it a small world, but apparently also a world with universally bad taste in literature.

In any event, it's possible and indeed likely that my international travels may affect my posting schedule, but I assure you I'll keep you apprised of any interruptions.  I'll also remind you that my Italian adventure marks more or less the end of my book-related travels for the time being, and I thank you for your indulgence during this necessary period of self-whorage.  Rest assured, starting next week I will once again assume my customary position, which is to say I'll be chained to a computer blogging away as my helper monkey, Vito, alternately de-louses me and slaps me upside the head whilst screeching with simian mirth over the latest episode of "Girls."

I'd also like to thank the commenters who have already offered me advice for my trip to London.  For example, people have told me to watch out for the black cabs:


Which is kind of cute, because where I'm from we have these things:


There's nothing unusual about the image above, by the way.  Now, I'm sure London taxis can be quite dangerous, and I assure you I will exercise due discretion, but telling a visiting New Yorker to watch out for the local cabs is like passing Keith Richards a joint and then telling him to be careful because it's "pretty strong stuff." 

Of course, black cabs aren't the only ones in London, and so someone else chimed in and said that the minicabs are even worse:


Which is kind of cute, because where I'm from we have these things:


There's also nothing unusual about a car service crashing into your house, as you can see from the accompanying article:

Campbell said this is the second time a car has slammed into his home.

The first time, the car went straight through the home into an adjoining apartment.

Though the happy ending in all of this is that the homeowner learned an important lesson:

“This is the second time it’s happened, so maybe I should move to the middle of the block,” Campbell said.

I mean, come on, the corner lot is suicide in New York, everybody knows that.

Speaking of books (I was awhile back anyway), Rivendell Bicycle Works proprietor and noted quill stem enthusiast Grant Peterson has just published one:


This book is the antithesis of all that is Fredly, and I recommend it highly.  You can obtain a copy here, or wherever fine books are sold.  I should also stress that my enthusiasm for this book is completely sincere and totally unsolicited, and I'm not just pretending to like it because Grant Petersen is blackmailing me by threatening to publish pictures of me riding a recumbent bicycle.  Indeed, he's already done that, and I'm still recommending it:



Sure, it may be too late for me to salvage what was left of my dignity at this point, but at least I managed to turn the camera back on him in the process:


This was actually my first time riding a recumbent bicycle, and I have to admit I now understand the appeal.  It's pretty much exactly like riding a regular bicycle, except it's vastly more cumbersome, with the added benefit that and you look and feel ridiculous.  Think of it as a horizontal tall bike and you get the idea.

On the plus side, the low position a recumbent affords you may also allow you to "limbo" beneath an open SUV door.

99 comments:

Anonymous said...

no sleep til brooklyn

Anonymous said...

fight for your right to party

Anonymous said...

hold it now hit it

Anonymous said...

What did you all get caught up in Cav's crash??

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

we're awake in Boston too

Dee said...

there is money in 5th. thanks for the mention, lova ya work

Nanseikan said...

top ten, first time

b

BoaB said...

This is probably as close as I'll get to the podium. Thanks for the support WCRM on the "dooring" issue- I live in hope that there will be an on-air apology (but I won't hold my breath).

tomt said...

Top X?

Anonymous said...

So damn early today

McFly said...

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH COME ON THATS NOT FAIR.

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

Still can't make top ten.

Shit.

mikeweb said...

Slept through the finish.

McFly said...

Anonymous 1/2/3 swerved HARD right and took out my wheel. I metaphorically stomped across the line angrily in 11th. It's going to be a long flight to Italy.

Think Soy said...

Think Soy!

ce said...

Strewth!

Billy said...

Would you get me J Ax's autograph while you are in Italy? I hope he comes to full bike day.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DmRC5kvjEOB4&v=mRC5kvjEOB4&gl=US

PS - Way to tell those effete Londoners! Their biggest fears are minicabs, too hard biscuits (cookies in real English), and trousers.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1571/is_28_17/ai_76997817/

Buffalo Bill said...

But when Keith passes me a joint and says 'be careful it's pretty strong stuff', what should I do?

leogodoy said...

"L to R, name and approx retail of rainwear worn:,

Colin, $70 (Burley); Aimee, $5 (cut-your-own-holes plastic); Eben, $800 (Brooks Criterion) with the ergonomically slanted chest pockets."

OK... I won't comment on that.

Anonymous said...

played out.

McFly said...

http://grist.org/list/suv-with-built-in-stationary-bike-its-like-biking-to-work-except-stupid-as-hell/#.T6kA9-R4fzw.twitter

Marcel Da Chump said...

Blimey!...Va fangul!

Anonymous said...

Would have been quicker but I got hit by a Ferrari.

Anonymous said...

great review of the 5-boro, thanks.

k9gardner said...

I've never seen more irrelevant comments to a blog post; not a single one on-topic! I almost hesitate to leave one on-topic, I don't want to be accused of being a spoil-sport, but let me hazard it: why are you so anti-recumbent? As I get on in years, I have actually been thinking of trying it out. In concept it seems like it would work, the geometry of it all. No? "Vastly more cumbersome?" Really? Please explain, I was willing to look stupid riding it, but not if it's not even practical.

k9gardner said...

I've never seen more irrelevant comments to a blog post; not a single one on-topic! I almost hesitate to leave one on-topic, I don't want to be accused of being a spoil-sport, but let me hazard it: why are you so anti-recumbent? As I get on in years, I have actually been thinking of trying it out. In concept it seems like it would work, the geometry of it all. No? "Vastly more cumbersome?" Really? Please explain, I was willing to look stupid riding it, but not if it's not even practical.

Anonymous said...

You guys are early!

cycle

Chriam said...

SECOND!

Chriam said...

Second to the last! Ha ha ha! Way early!

Dennis Hopper said...

SOUL DOUT

Anonymous said...

I rode a recumbent exercise bike @ the gym, and the first time I did it I felt the riding made me genitalia about 66% erect.

I have been lusting after a recumbent ever since

DerZoots said...

Limbo under the door or GMC face peel?
Skip exfoliate violation install lexan fairing. Laser cannon optional but recommended.

DerZoots said...

@ k9gardner
I haven't seen a comment yet without relevance to this here blog.

Don't listen to Snob aboot recumbulents they are great and most very practical in some situations. I have three and have found commuting in a khaki pant with two pleats allows a nice unrestricted range of motion. I am also perfecting my "big city cabbie seat bead mat" to promote circulation and air flow so I don't get sweaty and suffer from the dreaded "bent sores". Those are terrible, picture like half your buttock as a pimple filled with pain and dissatisfaction.
Sorry I'm getting carried away, which incidentally can happen in a side wind if riding a half canopy model. That fairing will act as a sail so choose carefully.

Jasper said...

Notice that the black London cab is stopped in a bike lane on Westminster bridge. Note also the double red lines, which mean 'don't ever think of stopping here' - unless you're a cabbie of course. Just sayin'

5 Boroughs Velo Reporter said...

The report for the Five Boroughs Bike Tour is in ...

ZZZZZ ZZZZz ZZZzz ZZzzz Zzzzz Zzzz Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Flambullient said...

@ k9gardner

It's simple American logic - recumbents are different, so we make fun of them.

Ronnie said...

Buffalo Bill @ 9:23 :

don't inhale.

Kardashian said...

Aw, now I want one of those cool and trendy 'butnup' cardigans. Where can I buy one?

Paul Bowen said...

So no pre-BRA ride in London? Shame. You've been misinformed by the way - Black cabs are in the main driven courteously and professionally. There's the odd tosser, obvs, but in the main they're fine. Far more of a threat than black cabs are white vans and worse even than they are the red vans of the Royal Mail, where driving licences are apparently handed out with the uniform, without any need to demonstrate even rudimentary roadcraft.

Paul Bowen said...

Oh and, see you Thursday.

Anonymous said...

My theory on 'bents is that they are for old people. Thusly, I am going to rock one when I'm old. So too will I hit that wednesday herb, when I am old.

Brain Ferry said...

Love is the drug!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

On a bent like Snobbbie's rockin the more upright seat position can lead to the troublesome recumbent butt. I prefer greater recline in my seat angle and have no problems with comfort.

Upright seat angles and long wheel based recumbents are good for the new bent rider and and older folks who are not so concerned with perfomance and speed. (Not to say the LWB cycles can't be fast.) The real advantages of aerodynamics and rolling resistance can only be realized by high bottom brackets, bigger wheel size and seats tilted way back.

I never thought I'd live to see the day. Thanks Grant Peterson.

le Correcteur said...

BS/WRM/Vito the helper monkey:

Classics like this,

telling a visiting New Yorker to watch out for the local cabs is like passing Keith Richards a joint and then telling him to be careful because it's "pretty strong stuff."

Are why I keep coming back. Watch out for those minicabs and such.

Anonymous said...

Re London

It's not the black cabs but the fact that you need to look RIGHT before crossing the road. Look left, step into a clear lane and get walloped from your blind side.
Plus, in London they herd pedestrians with fences so that you are forced to cross at the designated crossing. I prefer more freedom. And those cameras, they're everywhere, watching you adjust your trouser yabbies.

Remember LOOK RIGHT not left or else!

Anonymous said...

Look both ways, it's the safe solution.

I've had a Brooks saddle jammed up my ass for the last 35 years, one of these days the 'roids (and I don't mean steroids) are going to get to me and the long wheelbase recumbent with the lawn chair seat and an orange flag will draw me in.

leroy said...

K9gardner-- my dog says he's a K9-recumbent-gardner. He's buried a few in Prospect Park and is hoping to raise a crop of tall bikes.

I know nothing will come of it and he'll forget where he buried them, but I don't want to get him depressed.

I've been enjoying Mr. Petersen's book with the help of my dog who has been explaining some of the bigger words.

Billy said...

Anon @ 12:37 PM: Again, more preaching to the choir. NYC streets are rife with bike salmon; May is their spawning season. Checking both ways before stepping out, even on ostensibly one-way streets, is de rigeur.

Billy said...

Here's the short link for the J-Ax video. YouTube on smartphones is weird.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRC5kvjEOB4

Y'all might remember it from a Friday quiz past.

Anonymous said...

Top fifty!

balls®

crosspalms said...

You look good on a recumbent! Hope you enjoy your grand tour.

Anonymous said...

Yesterday, Munch’s Scream sold for a record for a piece of artwork, $119.9 million dollars. That seems like an incredible amount of money on one hand and really not that much on the other. (Steve Tilford has a different defination of rich than I do)

Anonymous said...

You look ridiculous on that recumbant. where are your Tevas dude?

Anonymous said...

Maybe to avoid being doored, everybody should attach a train horn to their bike:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTQSWtK65PE

Anonymous said...

There is nothing wrong with a recumbent just don't call it a bicycle because it isn't.

McFly said...

England will be surreal because you will be salmoning but not reeeeeaallllllyy salmoning. Be careful because it's sketchy, especially the 4 ways. I almost died in El Carribe on a rental
moped because of the phenomanon.

Anonymous said...

Snob, just avoid the charging bulls and you'll be fine.

Eric the champferer said...

You better be funny or I am going to cut you, mate.

Anonymous said...

Chamferer has no pee in it. Why do we keep putting pee in things?

Anonymous said...

Chamferer has no pee in it. Why do we keep putting pee in things?

Musicologist Joe said...

J-Ax lyrics are AWESOME. At least through a popular search engine translator:

"Oh, if I could bring my bike to see myself sucking"
Clearly he's stating that your bike doesn't care if you suck or not. It loves you completely and without question whether you're a Hilpster, Fred or Other.

"are not the toxic repentant monkey for fitness"
Obviously refering to Vito. Or possibly the metaphoric monkey on the back that is training. Yeah probably the latter.

"But that does not cost, life cycle and have the same principle you have to keep moving to stay in balance."
Amen brother J-Ax. Amen.

bikesgonewild said...

...oh, great...now i gotta brush up on my english & italian if i wanna read the upcoming bsnyc/rtms/wcrm posts...

...like i don't gotta 'nuff ta do...

Anonymous said...

@k9Gardner

I think you need to focus less on the recumbent and more on the redundant.

Seriously, same post twice?

Balls(R)

@k9Gardner

I think you need to focus less on the recumbent and more on the redundant.

Seriously, same post twice?

Balls(R)

SaddleAmericana said...

recumbents are also pretty much like a bicycle except you're required to have a long white beard, tons of flags all over the place, and a windshield among various other gadgets and really homemade looking stuff hanging from every surface of the o so laid back frame...

Billy said...

@Musicologist Joe: The presumably Italian-understanding commenter on Urban Velo (http://urbanvelo.org/j-ax-i-love-my-bike/) says:

This song is not soooo baad !!! Some of the lyrics are even GREAT !!!! But Mr.J-ax you are talknig about cycling in Milan but WHY the hell do you spot this in California?????

That is an excellent question. I thought cycling in Italy looked pretty sweet until my wife pointed out that this was in LA. Now I'm confused because I thought LA was hell to get around in. I guess it helps to have a film crew and a posse.

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, this is all the Italian you need to know:

Hey ragazzi, scendere il mio prato!

(Hey, you kids get off of my lawn!)

That, and pasta fagioli.

Anonymous said...

Steve Tilford likes turtles.

Grant Cipo said...

JUST RIDE and EAT PUSSY

bikesgonewild said...

..."...pasta fagioli..."...

...not that there's anything wrong with that...

Anonymous said...

In England do the recumbents have penny farthing wheels?

Chancellor Douche' said...

Here at the Tilford Institute for the Terminally Inane we feel that recumbent vehicles are not bicycles but are in reality tools of evil and vehicles piloted by 'HATEES' whose main purpose is to elicit the derisive jerring the of true Velo Kings of the universe the 'HATERS'

As they say in Italy ...

'tutti i tuoi nemici succhiare le mie palle'

McFly said...

I just read on VeloNews that the officials are going to make Roberto "SLICE RIGHT" Ferrari ride a recumbant in the team time trial that is known as stage 3 of the Giro. The clock will not stop until he crosses the line. They are having trouble applying his fake beard though. Evidently he is allergic to the adhesive.

Anonymous said...

It starts with some harmless dabbling, and then before you know it you've contracted full scale chronic recumbency. Snob should be more careful. He's already in the risk group. White male. Approaching middle age. Already owns an 'alternative' bike in the form of his Smugness flotilla. Mildly disheveled. he's just a little lower back pain away from getting a Volae ...and then it's bentsnobnyc for ever.

McFly said...

There is an older gentleman in town here that rides with a NOSELESS saddle due to scranus issues. I think I would rather ride a bent after seeing that atrocity. I do not even like looking at it. His noseless saddle not his scranus.

Anonymous said...

Anon 6:25: Recumbants are the "gateway drug" to allowing your Fred flag to fly...

Cipo said...

Tentative Title for a movie about a fantastic pro bike racer who proves to be irresistable to females of several species ...

Loosely based on my life and life experiences ...

Title to be ...

Clitty Clitty Interspecies Gang Bang!

IN 3D of course

Anonymous said...

GO BUY YOURSELF A RECUMBENT IF YOU WANT ONE SO DAMN BAD, BUT DO NOT TRY TO FUCKING CONVINCE ME. Call me old fashioned.
Peace

Anonymous said...

Riding a recumbent is fun and will knock the smugness out of most who give it a try. Like the Fred, the serious recumbent rider will hunker down in his or her recumbent smugness and defend their habit to the death.

Anonymous said...

Bromont slept through the entire turtle ordeal.

Anonymous said...

Panties!

Vegas said...

I agree that the written correction is "something" but definitely not enough, Snob, and the anchorpeople dooring vid is a stellar idea. Might "impress" upon them how wrong they are.

It's like getting a merchandise refund: you pay with card you get card credited, you pay with cash you get cash back, you f* up a vid segment you correct it with a f*cked up vid.

Glenn Ammons said...

Don't you mean "Headed A-BRA-d!"?

Anonymous said...

Jew so funny, kid. Hitlarious.

Anonymous said...

Last!

Lanterne Rouge said...

You think?

Dan Gurney said...

Grant's book is fantastic. I just finished it. I'm doing burpees now.

No ride is too short.

Anonymous said...

Riders of Recumbent Bicycles (RRB) be proud, for our most vocal critic hath eaten the figurative crow!!!!

Thine proof is evidenced in the blogosphere!!!

Mikeybicycle said...

On the Norfolk, Virginia Craigslist site under "Best-of-craigslist" dated 11 Mar 2012 is "Hipster-ass Hipster Bike For Hipsters". You have to check this out.

Anonymous said...

Hmmph. I'll be draggin fixie ass across five boroughs next time I'm in New York; watching your grimacing faces disappear in my helmet mirrors as I summon from a sitting position a burst of gluteal power that you couldn't attain even if you got thrown in Rikers for the night.

Get bent!

Monkeysalad said...

Actually, recumbent bikes are less cumbersome, more comfortable, more aerodynamic, and sexier. I think it is really "quaint" that you ride the same upright bikes your grandfathers drove, but hey - this is the 21st century! Wake up Bike Snob! Get bent!!

I already said...

For Flying Cripes' Sake!

Fix the first "Peterson" the first peter, son!

The graphic immediately below only reminds people (if you can call your readers "people") of the error.

Wedgie-riding Reggie said...

Monkeysalad,

If you find recumbents sexy, try buses or trains for some real sexual thrills.

Less cumbersome too? I am so going to be converted!
You've bent me over to your side.

Robert said...

"with the added benefit that and you look and feel ridiculous." Good, you aught to feel that way.

sri said...

thanks for sharing informtions with usBuy Vans

Robert said...

Some recumbents are better and cooler than others, same as with standard frame bikes.
See: http://www.hpvelotechnik.com/index_e.html
And:
www.nycrecumbentsupply.com

Ashton Jones said...

Seeing a Back Pain Specialist NYC and they have some great docs!!!

kadir karabaş said...

Online hdpornwatch Teen Home free watch and tube tv. for amateur sites. Goodbe watch !

Anonymous said...

HD kaliteli porno izle ve boşal.
Bayan porno izleme sitesi.
Bedava ve ücretsiz porno izle size gelsin.
Liseli kızların Bedava Porno ve Türbanlı ateşli hatunların sikiş filmlerini izle.
Siyah karanlık odada porno yapan evli çift.
harika Duvar Kağıtları bunlar
tamamen ithal duvar kağıdı olanlar var
2013 Beyaz Eşya modeller
Sizlere Güvenlik Sistemleri ayarliyoruz
Arayin Hirdavat bulun
Samsung Nokia İphone Cep telefonu alin.
Super Led Tv keyfi

Amatör Porno - Amcik Porno - Anal Porno - Asyali Porno - Bakire Porno - Erotik Porno - Esmer Porno - Fantazi Porno - Gay Porno - Götten Porno - Grup Porno - Hard Porno - HD Porno - Hemsire Porno - Latin Porno - Lezbiyen Porno - Liseli Porno - Olgun Porno - Oral Porno - Rokettube - Sarisin Porno - Sert Porno - Tecavüz Porno - Travesti Porno - Türbanli Porno - Türk Porno - Ünlü Porno - Yasli Porno - Zenci Porno - Kari Koca Porno - Hayvanli Porno

NYC Neurologist said...

Looking for a reputible Neurology office in NYC? Look no further, just visit http://www.nyneurologists.com/page/neurologists-in-nyc