Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Share and Share Alike: The Pox is Spreading

Even though I write this blog, I'm not really sure what it's about.  In my more pretentious moments I like to say it's stream-of-consciousness humor that chronicles and lampoons the idiosyncrasies and contradictions inherent in 21st century urban life, but mostly I think it's just an excuse for me to post pictures like this:


I do seem to recall though that back when I started this blog it was ostensibly about bikes.  I also seem to remember that riding bicycles was an enjoyable activity that I used to partake in before I spent most of my free time on airplanes.  Given this, even now I don't think it's entirely inappropriate for me to write about bikes, inasmuch at least some of you may still find the subject interesting.  In particular, I'd like to write about this one:


The above bicycle is my detachable travel chariot.  It happens to be a Surly Travelers Check, but the make and model is not nearly as relevant as the fact that it has those S&S coupler thingies in the frame:


These allow you to take the bike apart and carefully pack it in a case that is small enough to be checked as regular baggage at airports--or, if you're me, to haphazardly cram it into a case that is small enough to be checked as regular baggage at airports.

If you're a bicycle cycling enthusiast you've no doubt run up against the issue of flying with your bicycle at one point another, and have been confounded and vexed by deterrents such as exorbitant airline fees and unwieldy travel cases.  Simply put, many of us long to travel with a full-size bicycle as conveniently and inexpensively as possible.  So, having undertaken approximately 15 flights in the past couple of months, I'd like to say that I've found this system to be an excellent solution.  By my count, I've avoided something like $1,500 in bicycle fees during that time (I never paid a single bicycle fee), and was also able to fit to easily fit the packed case into airport shuttles, taxis, and even the overhead compartment of an Acela train.  Plus, while I have yet to remove the bicycle from its case since my last journey, assuming it comes out okay this time it will have accompanied me without sustaining any damage beyond superficial scratches--all despite my almost total disgregard for its well-being.

I should emphasize that this commentary is totally unsolicited; rather, as a bike geek, I just feel compelled to share my success with the system with those of you who want to travel with bicycles.

I also realize that there are people who "tweet" with the hashtag "#airportninja" and boast about how they manage to avoid bicycle fees even with non-coupled bicycles by disguising them as massage tables or sex dolls or whatever they do, but for the rest of us who don't have the time and energy for such subterfuge I think couplers are a good way to go.

Finally, I'm sure someone will point out yet again my gross excess of head tube spacers, but I remain proud of them.  After all, what is the appeal of the "slammed" stem anyway?


It's like cramming your feet into Sidis that are three sizes too small and then bragging about how your shoes are "slammed."  That's why I'm embracing my unslammed pride.  Indeed, "slam" spelled backwards is "mals," and from now on I will fly my "malsed" stem for all the world to see, like a pink-and-green Flag of Kludginess:


Best of all, there's always room for a spare cockpit:


Sheldon Brown was the Walt Whitman of cockpit curation.

In any case, now that I'm back I'm trying to catch up on the local bike-related goings-on, and one development has been this provisional station map of the New York City bike share system:


The blue dots represent the stations, and if it helps you can think of the ones in Brooklyn and Queens as "hipster pox," since they indicate areas of extreme gentrification.  I'm unsurprised to learn that the neighborhood in which I live is totally unaffected, since around here "bike share" means that they'll give your mangled bike back to you after they run you down with their minivans.  I was, however, surprised to learn that the system will be pretty expensive, and indeed much more so than London's:

This is a bit of a shame, and $10 for half an hour of riding is a lot of money.  Years ago, before New York City was afflicted with "hipster pox," you used to be able to ride all day for $10--though the "bike" was actually a "woman" named Frank in the Meatpacking District.

Speaking of bike share bikes, the ones in London are called "Boris Bikes" after the Mayor of London, who was recently profiled in "Vanity Fair" magazine:


Apparently, his "favorite journey" is "Through the sun-dappled streets of central London by bicycle at the beginning of April:"


I too enjoyed riding in London, though my time there I've never seen the sun dapple anything at any time of year.  I also wonder if he continues to enjoy cycling in London when he gets to the Elephant & Castle roundabout, because Jack Thurston of "The Bike Show" took me through there, and it totally sucked.

Another thing that sucks is my photography, and I was reminded of this when I received the professional photos of my visit to the Brooks factory in Birmingham.  I'm not sure why the Brooks people saw it fit to engage a photographer to chronicle some feckless wisesass from New York as he stumbled around their facilities in a state of extreme jetlag, but I suspect it was something of a hedge, since otherwise the only photographic record of the event would be my own crappy photos.  Yes, with a professional photographer you capture the interaction of man and machine:


And the spirit and pride of the workers:


And their strong yet nimble fingers with their sinewy dexterity:


Whereas with the wiseass bike blogger all you get is lousy pictures of the vending machine:


Which contained a mysterious and disgusting-sounding "beef drink:"



Which I didn't get:


Because obviously I opted for the haggis thick shake instead.

I really enjoyed my visit to the factory, though as I suspected I felt pretty self-conscious about the fact that I was traipsing around while everybody was working:


(This photo was taken by the professional, obviously.)

Indeed, one look at my soft hands and softer middle told them all they needed to know, which was why they made me use the ladies' room:

(Guess who took this photo.)

By the way, every time I went to the bathroom (haggis thick shakes go right through you) I expected a bunch of people to burst out of them singing "Every Sperm is Sacred:"


Though I didn't worry about catching an STD from the toilet seat because I had read this fact sheet:


(Yeah, that's another one of mine.)

At this point I should warn you that I'm about to violate one of this blog's few style guidelines, which is never to include a picture of the author.  However, in this case I'm going to make an exception, because I found this series particularly compelling in the way that it revealed the ineptitude of its subject.

Here's an idiot looking at a saddle top:


Here's an idiot looking at a document:


And here's an idiot just looking, and also drooling imperceptibly:


It's fascinating to me how fine the line is between idiocy and transcendence.  For example, the above photo evokes the cover of John Coltrane's "A Love Supreme:"


Only Coltrane looks deeply contemplative, and I look deeply stupid.

I'd like to think it's the use of black and white:



Though a lot of it probably has to do with the fact that the tag of my sweater is sticking out in every single photo:


Really, between being unable to dress myself and asking questions like "So where does this thing go again?," it's a wonder the great Eric "The Chamferer" Murray didn't cut me right then and there:


("So, like, how does it attach to the bike?")

Frankly, I'm lucky they didn't laugh me out of there entirely.  Instead, they just told me to get the hell out, at which point I repaired to my "executive suite:"



(Photo credit: Wildcat Rock Machine)

Then I grabbed a beef drink to go and took the Reliant back to London.

(And if you're wondering, the answer is "Yes, you can dock them at a bike share station.")

156 comments:

Kenny said...

AND THAT'S HOW A BILL BECOMES A LAW!

Chriam said...

Second!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Podiodioummm...

McFly said...

Chak. Chak. Chakkakahn.

Anonymous said...

Flatted...missed the podium.
top diez!

Anonymous said...

Nonplussed top ten

Anonymous said...

Always, ALWAYS, go for the beef drink!

Spokey said...

top ten?


OK. What is this nonplussed stuff anyway. I'm sick of this. As near as I can tell wildcat rock uses the word exactly the opposite its meaning. Or, perhaps, my reading comprehension is still at the first grade. Perhaps I should have stayed in Park Slope for my skooleen?

from dictionary.com:

nonplussed

verb (used with object)
1. to render utterly perplexed; puzzle completely.

noun
2. a state of utter perplexity.

Synonyms
1. perplex, confuse, confound, disconcert.

singlespeedwaster said...

Top ten!

Anonymous said...

I believe "beef drink" would be a nice hot cup of Bovril, Britain's favorite meaty drink.

crosspalms said...

Plussed and re-plussed. And I like the three-wheel car in front of your executive suite.

Anonymous said...

Warning: Beef drink may contain leather scraps and other micellaneous trimmings from the chamferer's workbench.

wishiwasmerckx said...

What the fuck is up with that three-wheeled car? Adult tricycle?

SaddleAmericana said...

the first time i flew with my bike broken down and taped up in a regular cardboard bike box, it came out in the oversized luggage all torn to bits, the box broken up, and stuff falling out of the box. bad way to start a tour. i need coupler thingies.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Spokey,

Expecting this blog to conform to the dictionary is a sure path to nonplussitude.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

livingjetlag said...

Where is everybody?

LikesToBikes said...

I liked when it was just fixed gear gallery pics and funny comments and nobody knew who you were and nobody really cared. Until they did and you wroat that book and everything has just gotten progressively more awful every post since. I saw that picture of you in the 800 dollar brooks jacket and you even linked to it and it was the same day-ish that Romneys wife wore the 900 dollar shirt on tv and you didn't even make fun of yourself, you were riding around BK on a recumbent wearing a 800 dollar garment. Now you have us looking at vacation shots from Italy...I miss the old days
p.s. bikes and bike racing and how they are made and who races on them is still interesting you know, although your favorite high school phot contest winner is really neat to.

bikesgonewild said...

...ingredients list is the same for each, only the color changes...

...i'm referring to the drinks machine, not you & john coltrane...

Anonymous said...

I like America. We have the Giro d'California. But when the same guy wins three days in a row, doesn't it make you wonder...
what are they injecting into that Slovak beef?

McFly said...

That Cervelo looks like that one turkey on South Park.

Anonymous said...

The chamferer has that look like "so how long do I have to listen to this tool for and I better be getting paid for this..."

Anonymous said...

The chamferer has that look like "so how long do I have to listen to this tool for and I better be getting paid for this..."

Spokey said...

OK Wildcat

I give. I hereby pledge to no longer be nonplussed by nonplussed.

But I am going back across the Hudson to America.

Anonymous said...

snob, from one hairy bastard to another -

balls®

Anonymous said...

I think the beef drink is what got Contador in trouble.

BikeSnobNYC said...

LikesToBikes,

The ironic part is that you're still apparently reading it, though you'd have stopped years ago if it was still just Fixedgeargallery pics.

My ever-increasing unlikeability is in fact a cunning strategy.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Фофанов said...

Those pictures are worth Фoffing off to

Dr. Cortelyou said...

What's that thing on your left ear... ear cuff? GPS chip?

frilly said...

Beef drink--vending machine bouillon? Could be worse. The blackcurrant drink gave me the heebie geebies. Reminds me of a scented candle.

John Coltrane said...

Yo Snob, you got a Lifesaver?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Dr. Cortelyou,

It's a sort of fastener by which I vainly attempt to attach myself to my youth.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Plastic pig! The engines fit fairly easily into Austin 7s, should owners feel the need for a bit more speed.....

hey nonny mouse

mikeweb said...

The 'bike share' system that Bloomie is so proud of, seems to me like more of a hi-tech bike rental operation. And sponsored by a gigantic bank??

The phrase 'designed to fail' comes to mind...

Anyway, welcome back. I'm sure you're glad to be home.

Buffalo Bill said...

So, if Sheldon is Walt Whitman, Mr. Rockmachine is? I dunno, Watterson?

L. H. Fook said...

So now that same sex everything is legal and legit what next?


LEGALIZE NOCROPHILIA*

*aka thanatophilia

Johann Rissik said...

@Frilly: The blackcurrant drink is in fact scented purple sock dye.

Anonymous said...

That vending machine is good but it could be better. It has an impressive selection of drinks, and it lets you set the strength of your drink.

But why not a combo? What if it's one of those days and you just feel like a Beef Drink (full strength)/Chocomilk (full strength)/Blackcurrant Drink (medium strength) cocktail? I'm pretty sure I'd pay 15p for that, if I had any idea what 15p was.

Blog Drafter said...

I pack mine up in a regular bike box and send it FedEX or UPS and pick it up when I get there, works great.

I like your photos, you don't suck at photography.

Billy said...

Nonplussed is a great word. It means both itself and its complete opposite at the same time.

Depending on which source you go with, the latter meaning may be considered "informal".

Google sez:

non·plussed/nänˈpləst/
Adjective:
1. (of a person) Surprised and confused so much that they are unsure how to react.
2. (of a person) Unperturbed.

Ask Oxford sez:

nonplussed

Pronunciation: /nɒnˈplʌst/
adjective
1. so surprised and confused that one is unsure how to react:
2. North American informal not disconcerted; unperturbed.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Now you got the cover photo for your next masterpiece:
A BIKE SUPREME

Billy said...

@wiwm: The three-wheeled Reliants are a major cause of Scotland's declining population. Also an extreme sport.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQh56geU0X8

Sigmund Fried said...

Bike Snob NYC ...

Yes. Now I remember ...

mid 80s NY/NJ BMX doping scandal.

It was so bad that 11 year olds were shaving their palms.

Shoney said...

Your flesh yarmulke is saying "just shave your head and be done with it."

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Wildcat Rock Machine --

In deference to Spokey's nonplussed sensibilities, I respectfully suggest the occasional use of "gobsmacked" in place of nonplussed.

That may also help bridge the language barrier between you and your UK sponsors whose use of ear tags to identify proprietary cattle is probably well documented somewhere, but obscure to those who only speak American.

Your escape may have been narrower than you realize.

McFly said...

Is the Beef Drink possibly milk? I hope it's milk.

JIZZ LITE

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Has anyone ever told you you look kinda like Tom Hanks?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Damn, I never saw the inside of one of those S&S coupler thingies. That things got more points of engagement than a Chris King rear hub.

Anonymous said...

The chamferer's earring is even bigger than yours. Pretty hip for an old dude.

Anonymous said...

wildcat i have a bone to pick with your sponsor, Brooks. After mocking the contradiction of seeing overpriced artisanal brooks saddles on bikes that probably cost less than the saddle, i decided to buy one and stick it on my cheap Craptante. I'm a hypocrite and also like to exercise my right as an american to make wasteful impulse purchases. So i broke the bank on a swift titanium, mainly because it came in my favorite color, green. Anyway, yesterday I received the saddle and excitedly tore open the package like a 5 year old tearing into a christmas present (i'm 45 by the way). I couldn't wait to put the new saddle on my Craptante and break it in on my ride to work today. I was very excited wildcat. Anywho, that excitement turned to searing rage after reading the "care" instructions (why does a bike seat need care instructions anyway) which said that before using the saddle I needed to rub it down with Brooks Proofride Leather Dressing, with a ominous warning not to use a substitute. So you would think for the $250 that i put down for this bike seat that they would include said leather dressing. Guess what, no! So now before using the saddle am I have to order their stupid saddle cream seperately and then i have to wait for it to arrive before i can finally use their overpriced bike seat! fuck you brooks.

Nice earring by they way.

Wm. Shakedouche' said...

Do not forget ...

Irony contains more vitamin B52 than either beef beverage or cod seamen.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Wildcat Rock Machine --

In deference to Spokey's nonplussed sensibilities, I respectfully suggest the occasional use of "gobsmacked" in place of nonplussed.

That may also help bridge the language barrier between you and your UK sponsors whose use of ear tags to identify proprietary cattle is probably well documented somewhere, but obscure to those who only speak American.

Your escape may have been narrower than you realize.

ReliantRobinHood said...

A review of the 3 wheeler is here

http://www.topgear.com/uk/videos/clarkson-tips-over-reliant-robin

Babe "Silky Smooth" Winkleman said...

Anon 2:54,

Babe here. Any leather treatment will do. I had so many hydes to tan I bought a 55 gal drum of Dr. Chappy's Dead Animal Conditioner. It's also great on a bagel.

Anonymous said...

good one today wildcat bedazzled ear machine.

16incheswestofpeoria said...

I was hoping for more information on sweater tag. I assume all players must wear sweaters, but what are the rules? And couldn't you get anyone to play the game with you?

DerZoots said...

Nice.
Eric.

L8r.

John T. Angle said...

Now look up the word "plussed".

mikeweb said...

Eric the chamferer and the late, great Sheldon Brown all in one post. Well done.

crosspalms said...

Frilly,
Scented candles make delicious smoothies.

Anonymous said...

all these pitchers make up for the WEAK WEEKs.

GOOD POST
HOTT DANM

mikeweb said...

Frilly opines on scented candles and Terry Gross is interviewing a woman on the subject of breasts on NPR right now.

I'm suspecting some kind of conspiracy.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

what about the breasts?

frilly said...

Ha ha Johann. After giving it some thought, I realized the cause of my heebie geebies. The last time I got waxed, the lady used chocolate scented wax saying it was the latest & greatest. And I just remember thinking how silly that was & that Advil or Aleve infused wax would make a lot more sense. Now I just associate scented candles w/tremendous pain.

Anonymous said...

I too instantly thought of Top Gear when I saw the Robin. Jeremy Clarkson is hilarious.... Except for his complete disdain and hatred of cyclists on the road.

bikesgonewild said...

..."...so mr murray, may i call you eric ???..."...

..."right, mr hughson-smith...nowt a problem"...

..."...well then, eric, you're about to meet a young american lad, name of weiss, i believe...he writes what's called a 'blog' over in america & while somewhat peculiar in it's way, it mostly touches on cycling...it seems, eric, old chap, that he's made you somewhat 'famous' on this blog of his..."...

..."...some 'at, famous ???...howzat, mate, i mean, mr hughson-smith ???"...

..."...mr weiss or as he labels himself, bikesnob nyc is quite renown as of late & he's made reference to brooks & you in particular as 'eric the chamferer' on numerous occasions"...

..."...what ???...izzat little twatwaddle makin' fun of me, then, gov ???...i've worked bloody 'ard all me flippin' life, trimmin' edges for brooks & it's not bloody right for some yank poofter who does nowt but piss about on a bike & a flippin' computer to 'ave people larffin' at my expense..."...

..."...now, now, mr murray, i mean, eric...no need to be upset...this 'bikesnob' chap has brought a certain recognition to both you & brooks amongst the younger generation...i believe they're called 'hipsters' across the pond...you know the type...the 'nayer do wells' living on mummy & daddys trust accounts..."...

..."...right, know the type, gov...frew mine out at 14, said 'yer on your own, lad'...least me & the misses 'ave got a bit 'o peace about our hovel, ya ???"...

..."...well, eric, along with your newfound 'fame' brought about by this weiss chap & what it translates to brooks the company, there comes certain recompense or perks, as they say...
...in recognition of your years of dedication & service, eric, we'd be proud if you'd accept this key to the 'drinks machine'...
...we in management feel you've earned the right to a free cup of bovril, tea or any bloody thing you like, whenever you like...howzat, old chap ???"
...

..."...uhhh, right, gov...i'm sure the misses will be thrilled come vacation time...well, i'm back to my bench & bobs yer uncle, ya ???"...

..."oh & eric ???...you might want to not drink the blackberry...somewhat questionable, ya ???...that's a good chap...ta..."...

JB said...

Seems like the best bet for the bike share would be to get the yearly $95 membership. Then, with so many stations, just swap bikes every 40 minutes or so, until you make it to your destination.

Or buy a $400 bike and a good lock and keep it for 5 years.

Spokey said...

Billy;

I'll buy your oxgored def (but not google even if they agree as they are a bunch of pinko spies).

So that's all well and good when he is at a BRA in say Pittsburgh. But outside of North America whether Italy like the other day or his normal Lonk Izland (is that near the artic circle?), he should be called out.

David said...

OK, WCRM, I have seen the photos of you on a recumbent, yes, some kind of old RANS long wheelbase with two 20" wheels. Be a man, Eben, and ride the real thing, a high-racer like my Volae or Bacchetta Strada, and for God's sake get rid of the ridiculous Brooks jacket with the angled flapped pockets. Look, you write like a goddamn angel sometimes, but "effete" is a kind way to describe how you look in those horrible pictures.

Captain Hardbread said...

I don't like when tags stick out on ladies undergarments, they blosk her coin slot
wlcome back

Anonymous said...

Felix Salmon, swimming upstream in our current towards a biketopia.


I like the sweater, BikeSnob. I was relieved to find you of normal height; I thought maybe your were a short, bitter man.

Anonymous said...

Gotta hand it to Frilly. She comes into this den of testosterone and discusses her last waxing. Just, wow...

wishiwasmerckx said...

No fashion plate, that Eben, but except for the need of a decent manicure, he'll get by. Somehow it wouldn't do if he was a fussy dresser...

frilly said...

wiwm--couldn't agree more. It would never do for snobbie to be a pretty boy. The scruffy look suits you Snob!

anon 4:46--why not? The commentariat are like family. Yes, a tad bit dysfunctional at times, but I love them still.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 4:46pm...like the moon, that girl...

...waxing & waning...

Anonymous said...

Frilly, photos or it didn't happen!

CommieCanuck said...

Top Gear shows you how to drive a Robin Reliant.

CommieCanuck said...

Whew...good ride, I could really go for a frosty beef drink. That pork smoothie didn't sit well yesterday, neither did the chicken latte the day before.

frilly said...

anon 5:20--while a perfectly arched brow is a thing of beauty, I would be fearful of blinding myself with the flash.

Anon 5:20 said...

Eyebrow? Wait, what!?!

Ray @ the T.S.A. said...

ATTENTION: Mr. Bike Snob NYC

Your full anal/colonic/lower intestine video showed no polyps or other abnormalities.

Thank you for your cooperation and your sincere expressions of real and true love.

McFly said...

Kenny, your pie chart is so bad ass and on point.

Anonymous said...

Needs more pussy. Not enough pussy.

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

"Waxed Frilly": sounds like a euphemism for something.

Anonymous said...

BEEF SODA

FRLL YWAX

BORD ERIC

PIER CING

TAGS HOWS

Anonymous said...

FYI,
the bike share is 10$ but you can use any bike anywhere in the city for 24hrs.

So, the trick is to use the bike for no more than 30 min.
Then dock it.
Wait about 5 minutes or 3hrs if you only need the bike then.
Take another one for 30 min.
etc. etc.

As long as you do not take the bike for more than 30 min strait you only pay 10$ for 24hrs use of the bike share program.

your welcome.

Peter Saggin' said...

All You Haters Suck My Multiple Stage Victories

wishiwasmerckx said...

Is Ms. Sadik-Khan using Carbon Pinarello Princes with full Dura-ace for the NYC bikesharing program? If so, the prices demanded might be worth it, but if these bikes are the awkward, heavy lumbering beasts I have seen in the European bikeshare programs, they are overcharging. Shouldn't the bike be cheaper than the subway?

Anonymous said...

I can only make a random comment right now, sorry.

Anonymous said...

@McFly...

errr, no.... the beef drink is probably a cheaper version of Bovril.

...which I'm sure that you can google for yourself; I ain't doing it, off to my kip...

hey nonny mouse

Anonymous said...

What sort of "Brazil" vintage torture device has that poor Brooks man's arms been inserted? What had he done to deserve the punishment?
Are Brooks owned and overseen by the Piranha Brothers?
That one character looks every bit like the cruel but fair Dinsdale.

McFly said...

"Bovril", as it were, appears to be the ornithilogical equivalent of chicken broth. It's cow broth. Ew. Seriously? That's so gross.

The odd thing about the operater with his hands, in the what I am assuming is a small punch press, is that there is ample safety guarding but still room to put his arms in it. But there are no "light curtains", which are sensors that will not let the press cycle unless everything is clear.

Surely for $250 a pop they could invest in some safety.

Indfusion said...

I share your love of coupling. Useful not only for air travel, but other public transport too, like the fast trains in Europe which often forbid bikes. One of the big-ass woven plastic bags you can probably get it chinatown will hold a bike and is easy to carry. There's pleasure in leaving a train station with a monstrous sack, stopping by all the taxis, and magically assembling a bike then riding away.

McFly said...

I stand corrected. It looks as though the front gate lowers and makes a micro-switch in order to enable the stroke.

Enable the Stroke. FapFapFapFapFap

Steven Segal said...

"I told you already, I am just a cook."

Anonymous said...

McFly the industrial process pedant. Huh.
Micro switch or just really, really small switch?
Which is it, smarty trousers , Mr. Light Curtains guy? I'll bet McFly isn't even your real name, IS IT, SMART GUY.

McFly said...

What's sad is that place looks nice compared to my shithole. Also, I have decided to crush your head Mr. Anonymous I assuming Business Man.

eric "the fucking chamferer" said...

...mcfly...look, mate...with what little bloody wage i make trimmin' these bleedin' fooking saddles when i know full well not one of 'em has been on a pro race bike since 1958 & that nowadays they end up on the bikes of blokes like you, i really do not need your take on what you 'think' of bleedin' bovril, right ???...

...a hot 'cuppa' puts ol' eric right wiff the world & i can go about my bloody business, ya ???...

...keep your 'ands off my bovril, mate...that's all i'm saying, ya ???...right, cheers...

McFly said...

Relax Eric, you are golden. I hear Wiggins has been rubbing a Brooks since '08, they just die it in "Black Currant" to fool the illuminati. As long as Brooks, Inc. does not invest in the Fully Automated CNC Chamfinator Deluxe 2000 with Interchangable Knives you will be indispensible.

Anonymous said...

BGW you're not fooling anyone. Your ellipses brand your posts like yellow teeth brand my Belair smokin' momma's teeth.

boo said...

Speaking of mcfly, did he go back in time and take that photo after the blitz?

Anonymous said...

Anon 10:21,
Wow. Has anyone ever told you that you have a mind like a steel trap? You do. Have a mind like a steel trap.

Nicko said...

I thought the ear thing looked a lot like a Douche-clamation point.

Doug said...

A buddy of mine took the rear triangle off his full-suspension Rocky Mountain bike. After that it packed small enough to meet the airlines' guidelines. He reassembled it in a few minutes.

bikesgonewild said...

...damn...& i was sooo sure i had everyone fooled with my 'eric the fucking chamferer' post...

...it was the ellipsis, huh ???...(makes note to self)...

Anonymous said...

Oh, you got to know the backstory.

Paul Bowen said...

Funniest post for some time - looks are being thrown at me.

Jeff said...

Is it just me, or do those pictures look like a newly retired, slightly softer Chris Meloni of Law & Order: SVU is investigating a serious crotch accident?

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

@McFly 9:07

The full revolution punch press also appears to have two-handed actuation, making it even safer.

My favorite part of that picture is the kettle sitting atop what appears to be a sprinkler system supply valve. At the plant where I work, you can see Mr. Coffees all over the place. The kettle just looks so adorably British in comparison.

McFly said...

Yeah that place is uber-quaint. I bet even the janitor makes, like, $22 an hour. I especially like the sketchy rivet machine. I wonder if BSNYC had that metal in his ear pre-visit or if he walked up to the rivet-master and said "What does this button do?" and the rivet-master grabbed him by the neck and said "Here let me show ya.'

Anonymous said...

KA-THUNK! You want one in the other ear, too?

Anonymous said...

Panties!

Anonymous said...

It's about panties, goddamn it! Panties and naked chicks!

Anonymous said...

Annnnd...

Scene.

Thanks everyone. See you tomorrow.

Dooth said...

Wait a second...I thought this blog
was ostensibly about...panties!

Anonymous said...

I AM A BIG PANTIES FAN! Wait that did not come out right. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

grog said...

I get it.
Saddle cream goes in your beef drink.

rosecityniner said...

Awesome post! Love the pics of your surly

Kenny Banya said...

...

Billy said...

Anonymous @ 4:04 PM:
I too instantly thought of Top Gear when I saw the Robin. Jeremy Clarkson is hilarious.... Except for his complete disdain and hatred of cyclists on the road.

If cycling on the roads were safe, pleasant, and enjoyable due to the lack of cyclist-haters like Clarkson, he would be out of a job, because everyone would be watching "Top Spoke" or something instead.

Billy said...

I should say safer, more pleasant, and more enjoyable.

Because I already have a pleasant, enjoyable, and safe ride to work. Safer than getting diabetes from sitting in a steel cage all day.

WGB said...

.
.
.

Anonymous said...

My wife once asked me why read that stupid blog about bikes. I tried to explain the whole "not just a blog about bikes but a stream-of-consciousness humor that chronicles and lampoons the idiosyncrasies and contradictions inherent in 21st century urban life." She told me that's even gayer than she originally thought.

Anonymous said...

Has she caught you watching racing? It's worse than getting busted fapping off in the shower. At grandma's.

Dr. Stool said...

You forgot to mention that we were able to cram that bike carrier into my Mini Clubman with 3 people and some farming equipment. That was sweet!

The Daily Cycle said...

Bike shares are expensive. Just invest in a bike for the long term.

Robert said...

I thought that guy was sewing a burrito together.

kadir karabaş said...

Online hdpornwatch Teen Home free watch and tube tv. for amateur sites. Goodbe watch !

Anonymous said...

zolpidem online ambien side effects aggressive behavior - buy zolpidem er

Anonymous said...

buy alprazolam online no prescription xanax bars long system - xanax side effects 2012

Anonymous said...

order lorazepam ativan dosage to sleep - ativan constipation

Anonymous said...

cheap ambien online dosage range of ambien - ambience mall gurgaon contact details

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam diazepam 10 mg teva - buy diazepam bulk

Anonymous said...

buy valium valium 20mg street price - valium diazepam for dogs

Anonymous said...

ambien zolpidem zolpidem tartrate peach yellow - buy ambien online no prescription needed

Anonymous said...

diazepam generic buy diazepam online usa cheap - diazepam valium nursing responsibilities

Anonymous said...

buy valium online blue valium pill id - valium no prescription australia

Anonymous said...

xanax pill cheap generic xanax - xanax overdose for dogs

Anonymous said...

ativan drug effexor ativan side effects - ativan lorazepam dosage

Anonymous said...

what does diazepam look like diazepam rectal tubes 5mg - online pharmacy europe diazepam

Anonymous said...

diazepam for dogs diazepam withdrawal newborn - diazepam 10 mg manufacturers

Anonymous said...

xanax pill xanax pills yellow - buy xanax online illegal

Anonymous said...

buy xanax bars online xanax withdrawal memory loss - buy xanax online with mastercard

Anonymous said...

cheap diazepam online buy diazepam online australia - diazepam side effects aggression

Anonymous said...

buy ativan generic drug for ativan - ativan yeast infections

Anonymous said...

discount xanax xanax withdrawal pregnancy - xanax schedule 1 drug

Anonymous said...

soma medication home drug test soma - maximum safe dosage carisoprodol

Anonymous said...

cheap ambien ambien cr snorting - cheapest ambien online no prescription

Anonymous said...

soma carisoprodol buy soma fedex overnight - jogo de soma online

Anonymous said...

buy valium online cheapest valium no prescription - illegal buy valium online uk

Anonymous said...

can you buy ambien online ambien internet pharmacy - ambien side effects elderly

Anonymous said...

cheapest soma cheapest soma online no prescription - carisoprodol 700

Anonymous said...

buy valium diazepam valium for vertigo - valium 10 mg and alcohol

Anonymous said...

soma 350mg carisoprodol generic soma - soma medication history

Anonymous said...

ambien pill online ambien music radio - ambien side effects when stopped

Anonymous said...

HD kaliteli porno izle ve boşal.
Bayan porno izleme sitesi.
Bedava ve ücretsiz porno izle size gelsin.
Liseli kızların Bedava Porno ve Türbanlı ateşli hatunların sikiş filmlerini izle.
Siyah karanlık odada porno yapan evli çift.
harika Duvar Kağıtları bunlar
tamamen ithal duvar kağıdı olanlar var
2013 Beyaz Eşya modeller
Sizlere Güvenlik Sistemleri ayarliyoruz
Arayin Hirdavat bulun
Samsung Nokia İphone Cep telefonu alin.
Super Led Tv keyfi

Amatör Porno - Amcik Porno - Anal Porno - Asyali Porno - Bakire Porno - Erotik Porno - Esmer Porno - Fantazi Porno - Gay Porno - Götten Porno - Grup Porno - Hard Porno - HD Porno - Hemsire Porno - Latin Porno - Lezbiyen Porno - Liseli Porno - Olgun Porno - Oral Porno - Rokettube - Sarisin Porno - Sert Porno - Tecavüz Porno - Travesti Porno - Türbanli Porno - Türk Porno - Ünlü Porno - Yasli Porno - Zenci Porno - Kari Koca Porno - Hayvanli Porno

sabina moon said...


Nice article. I think it is useful and unique article. I love this kind of article and this kind of blog. I have enjoyed it very much. Thanks for your website.
carbon wheel rental