Friday, April 13, 2012

No Quiz For You! The BRA Must Go On


(Another day, another flying germ tube.)

Once again, the demands of The "Enlightened Cyclist" World Annoyance Tour (brought to you by Brooks England Ltd., who make fine bicycle cycling saddles so you don't have to) preclude my furnishing you with a complete post.  In fact, at this very moment I am primping for an appearance on Vancouver morning television, and I'm greatly looking forward to more stilted interaction with individuals whose faces are powdercoated in make-up.  From there, it's on to San Francisky, where my schedule is as follows:


SAN FRANCISCO
Saturday, April 14
Noon ride/2:00pm talk and signing
Rapha
2198 Filbert Street
San Francisco, CA 94123
(415) 896-4671

And in case you're wondering, the answer is "Yes, there will be 'epic' burritos:"


Saturday, April 14th: Book Signing and Ride
Bike Snob NYC at the Rapha Cycle Club - Join the infamous Bike Snob NYC and the Rapha Cycle Club for an afternoon of bike riding, burritos and book signings. At 12pm we will embark on a casual city ride (bring cash for burritos!). At 2pm Bike Snob will chat with us about his new book that chronicles the joys of bicycle commuting, 'The Enlightened Cyclist.'



Then I head down to Los Angeles, and after I spend the morning pitching my Mario Cipollini sitcom around town (it's called "Well-Oiled Machine," and Cipo will play a retired pro who lives in a small New York apartment with an entire women's cycling team), I'll be here:


LOS ANGELES
Sunday, April 15
10:30am talk and booksigning
Orange 20 Bikes
4351 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles,CA 90029
(323) 662-4537

Ride immediately following
CicLAvia


And then, finally, I head home, which means that next week I will resume my normal blogging activities.  I'm looking forward to returning to my lifestyle as a reclusive blogger who rarely puts on pants, and to sharing some of my impressions of the road with you in greater detail, but in the meantime I invite you to ponder this:



Thank you very much for your patience during this book-flogging process, ride safe, and have a cool, refreshing, and effervescent weekend.


--Wildcat Rock Machine


125 comments:

dcdouglas said...

Podium!

mikeweb said...

Potty-um

Kenny said...

THE EARLY BILL BECOMES A LAW!

Save teh Freds said...

no, Snob. The bra must come off.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

No comment

g said...

Shoulda. Coulda. Woulda. Didn't.

Captain Hardbread said...

Death Penguin

crosspalms said...

Sounds like a good show. I'd watch.

Anonymous said...

Tooooop Teeen?

JB said...

Whee!

mikeweb said...

Is the Vancouver morning television show called 'Wake and Bake'?

Guessing the powder coated interviewer will also smell kind of 'piney'.

Anonymous said...

nice listening to Robyn on yer double decker bike sweet

Anonymous said...

Top twenty! It was the tailwind.

balls®

Buffalo Bill said...

Now you're infamous?
Yaknow, back in the day, that word was used to describe bandits and loose women.
Seems like everyone on the left coast is trying to out-snob the snob.

Quilled and Lugged said...

I am unfortunately committed to stuff tomorrow, otherwise I would definitely come and heckle, er, support you. Looks like you missed the thunder here.

Anonymous said...

Definitely peleton worhty.

cycle

Anonymous said...

scranus

McFly said...

Got dropped. I have too much upper finger strength/mass to be competitive onthe climbs.

Anonymous said...

In San Fran?
It's a pic of BSNYC with BGW
I demand.
Or better yet
A video of you two
Singing "Scranus!"
A duet dulcet.

MeJa said...

is that paul on a big stupid tall bike?

leroy said...

My dog advises:

If you're going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.

But I think he's just saying that because it's allergy season.

Ride florally and floridly all!

Anonymous said...

Talk about upright riding position...

Kenny Banya said...

meh

mikeweb said...

WCRM,

If your SF pre-BRA goes down Lombard, I'd recommend a brakeless fixie.

theEel said...

weed.

McFly said...

Man I carried a 1/2 lb. cheesy potato burrito around in my pocket at my lil girls softball game last night. When the timing was perfect I sat down in a telescopic folding chair and ate it. Fat kids everywhere stopped playing and rejoiced in it's splendor. Curly cinnamon twists you are next.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Primping ain't easy.

Jasper said...

Presumably the SFBRA is not going to take WCRM up the couple of blocks of Fillmore north of the store, which would make it not exactly casual. I remember when that SF grand prix or whatever it was called put the racers up ten laps of that one, and Russian Hill to boot...

All The Black People In Portland said...

know there was an copy editing error in the Rapha announcement, should read

"... EPIC bike riding, EPIC burritos and EPIC book signings."

"At 12 pm, we will depart for a casual yet EPIC city ride..."

Kenny Banya said...

Must have...

le Correcteur said...

Early! Top 40. Meh.

DerZoots said...

WAIT!
What the fuck does tall and orange do at the light!
Fall over?

I saw tall bikes in the hood the other day.

Guadzilla said...

Really, Snob, you should just take a week off and not post at all while you are on tour, rather than posting this constant drivel. I know you have to pander to your sponsors and promote them on your blog, but fer crying out loud, there are limits to how high even a shark can jump.

crosspalms said...

Constant drivel? Surely it's intermittent drivel

zoomer said...

The early birds got all the worms
the smugness worm slept late. Meh.

Scranus!

oh, and effervescent weekend WeedPanties

RIP Shel Silverstein

Anonymous said...

Guadzilla,
You're obviously on the wrong side of the paywall. Over here, Snob just finished serving champagne and canapes and is about to show us videos. We all got autographed copies of the book and a Brooks B17 signed by Eric the Chamferer. Later today the Rapha people are taking us up in a hot-air balloon.

Quilled and lugged said...

Guadzilla (is that the NJ pronunciation?),

The posts are just placeholders so that the commenters have something to riff off, without having to scroll through pages and pages on an old post.
What's today's them going to be? Epic burritos seem to be making an early showing...

singlespeedwaster said...

Burn your BRA!

Quilled and lugged said...

er, that should read today's theme

Billy said...

I'm sure Rapha will find a way to make your "casual city ride" full of suffering and Rapha-faces. Lots of hills in San Francisco.

Vancouver ride looks like it was fun! Did y'all ride in a giant cloud of weed smoke? Of course, why am I asking?

JB said...

Guadzilla,
Sharks don't jump. Sharks get jumped.

Anonymous said...

snob, perfect timing, you'll be able to catch Canucks/Kings game 2 in Vancouver on Friday then game 3 in LA on Sunday. Jealous. Vancouver is beautiful this time of year...right before the annual stanley cup riots.

Another Canuck said...

Hi Snob, sorry I missed you at the Vancouver BRA, but our wacky guvment decided they didn't need 5,500 civil servants yesterday and my dear wife was one of them. So in celebration of how much this is going to help our economy, there won't be much venturing downtown to take part in fun events in our future. Ride on, enjoy your BRA tour!

CommieCanuck said...

Honestly, watching Vancouver lose the playoffs is like watching that annoying rich cousin of yours not getting accepted to any Ivy-league schools.

IVYF LUNK

So Snob, did you remember anything the day after the Vancouver visit? All I remembered was yoga pants.

numbnutzz said...

Of all the douchey places in SF, you're having your gathering at THE douchiest neighborhood in the city in THE douchiest branding spot in the world. Better luck next time.

Anonymous said...

@ anon 1038,

as in : "an twiiiins"?

Anonymous said...

Mr WCRM,
I will be unable to attend your ralpha epicurious ride as I am previously engaged tending ponies at my nieces birthday party.

POOP SCUP

Anonymous said...

@ numbnutzz:

Oh no, a douche double whammy!
Let's hope the Snob doesn't get caught in this.

Anonymous said...

The Perfect Storm of Self-Satisfaction?

At the RaphaCycleClub?

The Snob is our only hope! Our only antidote!

Can he mock hard enough to prevent a small obnoxious microsmug clique from becoming an Epic Tornado of MacroSmug?

Ummm...
Have you seen the RaphaCycleClub web site??!

There's no hope! Not even the Snob can overpower the vortex of haughty hilpster poseuring that is the RaphaCyclingClub.

Just look at it, IT'S PAINTED ALL WHITE.

Dear gawd. He's doomed...

Jed said...

Breathing deeply at the rest rings.

Clark in Vancouver said...

I was totally expecting pictures of giant sparrows today. I'm sure you'll catch up eventually. Or not.

Struggling private sector guy said...

Another Canuck... sorry to hear of your misfortune, but you're taking exactly the wrong approach to grieving. Sheesh! Get out there and start crashing every free event you can. It's not a time for retreat.

Have a few cheap beers with the money you've just saved on aluminum foil; crack a few jokes about boutique shopping and fine dining in Victoria while pedaling around town plotting your revenge.

Anonymous said...

Crap missed your local purlz of wizdom. You got lucky on the weather!!!

"Intemperate rain forest"

CommieCanuck said...

Sigh, no quiz, again.

At least in Canada it's National Grilled Cheese Day.

The though of industrial vegetable oils precipitated with aluminum sulphate with added orange colour just makes my mouth water. In America, they advise to carry a dollar bill to fix a major tire blowout. Since we have no dollar bills, we use Kraft Singles.

bikesgonewild said...

...now THAT is a great idea...

...go for a bike ride in sf with bsnyc/rtms/wcrm, eat an epic burrito & then gather together in a small enclosed space for a 'chat'...

..."...excuse me, eban but could you speak up please...we can't hear you back here for the sound of farting...

..."...jeezus, can somebody open a window or something...we're suffocating in here...it fucking reeks...

..."...hey, who made the toilet overflow...that's really not cool, people...this IS the rapha store & they've got an image to protect..."
...

...ya...tomorrow in 'the city' sounds like fun...

...quilled & lugged, i think we're both lucky to be busy with other stuff...

crosspalms said...

WCRM,
There may be a media opportunity here for you if they haven't renewed their license.

Or maybe it would be good for these guys, who seem to be in your neighborhood already.

Anonymous said...

wait what? Rapha has a bathroom? In the City? Now I might just stop by...

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 12:13pm...now that is information that we were pledged to keep secret...

..but in this case, i can see your point...

jno62 said...

That's Vancouver BC with a bullet!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is a battle of the will, on par with going to the distant cousin's wedding in Akron. But I think Snob has provided enough comic morning procrastination for us to suck it up and brave the double-douche of the Marina + Rapha and go buy a book.

Besides... my pregnant girlfriend wants to demonstrate vehicular cycling to you cowards. It will be an EPIC 5mph command of the lane.

misster-PISSTA said...

Rapha--is cool when you go there in the dark to watch a race live cuz your internet is dissconnected becuase they changed the password of the wifi you have been skitching from..(that being the bike lane of the infohiway)..

. I would be suprised if you can find a burritto more EPIC than the FISH AND CHIPS BURITTO from 'Dos PinoS" which is right next door to 'Roll' on 16th street and Rhode Island-- Sadly I too will miss out on your BRA ---but maybe you can make it to the Barry McGee & friends show at 1717 17th st after your reading-- It runs from 3-6 and it is on the way to the airport-its a little more than an hour ride to SFO but you must know that already.// happy flying

Gui La Douche' said...

**** MAPLE LEAF NEWSFLASH ****

Within the next several years Toronto Ontario Canada will be getting an NHL franchise.


Stay Tuned. DUDE!

Anonymous said...

why no visit to Toronto? Toronto needs Enlightenment too. Maybe you could take this guy for a ride.
http://news.nationalpost.com/2011/11/10/toronto-road-rage-driver-accused-of-mounting-sidewalk-to-hit-cyclist/

Anonymous said...

That tall bike needs a tall trailer. Otherwise it's just meh.

Anonymous said...

Gravity Bike = Rip City. Go, baby, go.

Bentit Surf said...

excerpt 'Cipo' The Book

Vol XIII page MDXLI

"I was with the Douche'lla Quintuplets. Insatiable she animals. We were in either Napoli or Milano. I can't recall for our meeting is but a blur. They wanted me to convert to Mormonism so I could marry all four of them. Anyhow, After pleasuring all four of them several times 'Cipo' entertained them with his tongue gymnastics. And after having a numb tongue for several days afterwords 'Cipo' came up with the idea of tongue weights. Little weights that are held to the tongue with an elastic/velcro band that allow one to do tongue workouts. I can tell you sincerely that 'Cipo' never had another tongue fatigue issue. Ever!


Scheduled for a fall 2012 realease 'Cipo' tongue weights will be available at fine stores and bike shops for a modest $999.00.

Kurt Jensen said...

My god, tall bikes are SO stupid!

Babe Winkleman said...

Anyone feel like joining me for a little white seal pup golfing this weekend? East of the maritimes on the pack ice? WOODEN DRIVERS ONLY*! No metal woods.


*metal woods make a nonorganic metallic ping sound when contacting seal pup skull at high speed. Aestheticcally the wood skull thump sound is much more pleasing and leads to a more orgainc/artistic overall blood letting experience.

philip williamson said...

I thought "well oiled machine" was worth the price of admission today.

bikesgonewild said...

...last night was kinda epic here in the bay area...

...over 750 lightning strikes between 8:00pm & midnight...power outages all over the place...
...a flight out of sfo bound for london was struck bad enough that had to return to the airport (& planes are designed to handle lightning strikes)...

...& then there was this awesome photo ...

...don't worry, eban...it's a sunny beautiful day right now, so your flight tonight should be 'mellow'...

Another Canuck said...

"Struggling private sector guy said...

Another Canuck... sorry to hear of your misfortune, but you're taking exactly the wrong approach to grieving. Sheesh! Get out there and start crashing every free event you can. It's not a time for retreat.

Have a few cheap beers with the money you've just saved on aluminum foil; crack a few jokes about boutique shopping and fine dining in Victoria while pedaling around town plotting your revenge."

Thanks, yeah, you are right, but the shock was still fresh and going out and spending any money at all did not feel right. Our revenge rides will be plenty this year, as cycling, unlike so many things in this economy, is both great and free.

A Another Canuck who made the BRA said...

Snob, thanks for dropping by Vancouver.

Yeah, I have a feeling he won't be coming back to Canada anytime soon after the fiasco of Chapters set up. I get there early (missed the ride), I'm the 4th person there... they've allocated a space thats maybe 15' square with... count'em, NINE (9) chairs. And no projector.

Snob, next time have your BRA in my basement, it'll be better organized and include beer and chips.

Quilled and Lugged said...

@bgw, for you I will click on a Daily Mail link, and fuck me what a picture. It didn't look quite so beautiful where I am, but at least I wasn't getting drenched out on two wheels.

grog said...

Friday Fun Quiz!!
Answers: A A C C B
Bonus: Cisco Sprocket
Thanks for playing!
RIDE NICE

Epic BRA Eat-O said...

Hey... Bike Keen Snob,
Are they blogular activities or blogging activities?
I lost my style guide.

crosspalms said...

bgw,
Wow, that's quite a photo. Must have been noisy as hell.

bikesgonewild said...

...X-palms & quilled n' lugged...that IS a great foto, ya ???...(only used the 'dm', q&l 'cuz they ran the biggest shot)...

...it really WAS quite an epic night & whilst in a car, nonetheless i was out in the thick of it taking someone to the airport...

...blindingly bright flashes very close by, raining hard enough at times that aquaplaning was pretty consistent even at a slow 50mph 'cuz the freeways couldn't drain fast enough...

...kept me on edge & vigilant as hell, not because of my own abilities but i was highly concerned about the 'circus act' drivers around me...

...made it in one piece though...phewww !!!...

Anonymous said...

Bikesnob,

Drop some local knowledge on your bra ride:

http://www.burritoeater.com

Anonymous said...

Bikesnob,

Drop some local knowledge on your SF bra ride:


http://www.burritoeater.com

McFly said...

Jed,
Elvis is looking down from Heaven right now asking you to please, please pace yourself. Wait til that thing is in the dry-dock position before you try to jetison into the pipes in the ground(unless you live in the country then it's just field tile). The King says if he just would have been patient he would not be at that Big Fried Peanut and Banana Sandwich in the Sky. Oh and if he would have laid off the codiene maybe he would not have been so constipated.

Eric the Chamferer said...

Would someone get in touch with Babe Winkelman and tell him to please stop drop shipping me tanned animal hydes? Love, Eric

Cipo said...

eating pussy(in a small New York apartment)

Mark said...

I love how BSNYC is supported by Brooks - a company with what may be the longest history in supporting asses in the cycling industry!

bikesgonewild said...

...btw - friday the 13th...how lucky do ya feel today ???...

J-Bird said...

The thought of your BRA in LA is making me hyperventilate.

McFly said...

BGW,
Well sir, since you ask. I went on an epic 25 miler. I sold some shifters for $140. I took the boy to the cages and he hit 75/100 balls. I GOT SOME COUCH ACTION AT LUNCH! I retaped my Raliegh. IN WHITE! (Sorry I keep getting excited) I was expecting one of those sweet little hats that flip up in the mail and did not get it so I guess it's not all good.

Throwaway_Bicycling said...

@Babe Winkleman:

But surely the choice of wood matters, too, right? You can get a really solid *thock* using white pine, which is the way they do it in Maine, but I have heard that some of the non-locals come in with walnut or something similarly heavy, and then the sound is more like a *skwuhsh* and that's just not cricket.

And the less said about the folks using titanium mounted on a crabon shaft the better.

Anonymous said...

http://www.amstelgoldrace.nl/index.php?pageId=20&year=1990 Victim of the early celebration

Quilled and Lugged said...

@bgw, it was windy as heck trying to ride across town today. Glad I was not trying to cross the bridge, I would have fainted I think. Drivers were all super nice too...I dread to think how nonchalant people were on the 101 last night - I have seen people aquaplaning at 20mph in rain like that.

Quilled and Lugged said...

Anon @7:59, thanks for the link, but I really don't want to be spelling my age out in Dutch...

Anonymous said...

you can put any age in

Anonymous said...

As long as it's before 1996

Anonymous said...

94 I mean, math, my old nemisis

Anonymous said...

Tilford demolished an entire fence, pulled posts embedded in concrete from the ground using only his strength, and rebuilt the whole thing today. Then he played with his dog, posted pix, and typed a longer post on his iPhone, with real meaning.

Fyi.

Anonymous said...

Yeah this blog is suffering. I barely had a reason to get out of bed in the morning and now IT'S starting to wane. Tilford, huh? He he is hall of fame material.

Anonymous said...

"I have, for example, a little thing about San Francisco,
which, despite all the virtues of its climate and topography, is one
of the great centers of snobbery in America. The boosters of the
city, who seem to include everyone who lives there, imply by their
manner that they above all their countrymen have found the secret of
good living, and, with their insistence on their good taste in daily life, San Franciscans can be richly, profoundly off-putting. I find myself sufficiently put off by them to have come to think of their
extolling of their own city as unbearable Bayarrea."
--Joseph Epstein

Soraya-MyDutchBike said...

Come by My Dutch Bike...Ill have some stroopwafels for you and beer. This is how the dutch do it.

Quilled and Lugged said...

Anon @1:28, yeah, we're smug, deal with it. By the way, after the week we've had, WCRM had really lucked out with the weather today, bright and clear, barely a breeze, it will shirt sleeve weather by the time of the ride... and me stuck indoors all day.

Quilled and Lugged said...

Might as well...

Quilled and Lugged said...

...go ton up.

Anonymous said...

Panties!
Epic flogging panties!

bikesgonewild said...

...quilled n' lugged...if humanly possible, i'm gonna try to be @ the signing...i'll be sans velo if i make it but wondering about yourself, sir...

...chance at all ???...

bikesgonewild said...

...if you make it, q&l, think 'hockey hat'...i'll be under it...

...goes for any regulars here...introduce yourselves...

Dyke Van Dick said...

Did you say Dutch Dyke ...

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxluwvkeBc1qcg6m0o1_1280.jpg

Quilled and Lugged said...

Alas, bgw, I am seriously stuck inside, and the weather makes it even more of a drag. I will be making up for it tomorrow though, and if I see any hockey hats when I pedal through Fairfax tomorrow morning, I will say hi...
Enjoy it.

Tits McGhee said...

I really wish you San Franciscans would quit "flirting with a hook up" in this comment section and just do it already. Geez what's the worse that could happen? Friendship develops? Get a room.

Quilled and Lugged said...

Hey, come on, the world needs more online bromance.

Anonymous said...

< Saturday, April 14th: Book Signing and Ride
Bike Snob NYC at the Rapha Cycle Club >

Should've had a full stop, could sting a bit otherwise....

....but someone's probably mentioned that already.

My hectic social whirl prevented any previous posting.

hey nonny mouse

bikesgonewild said...

..."rapha"...damn, i wish i'd written that down...

...turns out there's a bar several blocks away called "ralphs" & it turns out the bearded, phlegmy old codger out front on the dilapidated 3 speed was lying to me when i inquired - "...eban ???" & he said "yep"...

...i prob'ly should a' figured it out by the time i'd bought him 5 straight shots with beer chasers whilst asking about the new book & the response i got was - "...fugga buncha booksh, fugga buncha bikesh & fugga buncha you, som-a-bitch..."...

...while eloquent, it wasn't quite what i'd come to expect from bsnyc/rtms/wcrm...

...well, color me embarrassed to even admit i didn't figure this guy out sooner...but, at least dinner, my treat, really wasn't THAT expensive for something called a 'happy meal'...

...just sayin'...

grammar nazi said...

I think it' spelled EbEn........





...jus spellin'......

Fred 'Douche'' Fredrickson said...

I know I promised to not ask this question again but ...

I really need the answer ...

And I hope you won't get angry because I asked you again ...

but ...



How do I know when I'm High!?

Jeff Spicoli said...

If your worried that they know your high...your high..

Anonymous said...

Steve Tilford is going to finish his fence and then focus on training. No sense in half-assing both endeavors.

Anonymous said...

You call this a blog? Tilford could chew you up, spit you out, make sweet, passionate love to your mom, re-floor his entire deck and then HANDROLL epic seamless burrito's all before sundown. He would also manage to slip a 50 miler in because it's 25 miles to your moms.

bikesgonewild said...

...grammar nazi...

...perhaps we should consider an on-line 'e-ban' on your specifics, ya ???...

bikesgonewild said...

...tilford...you've pretty much been an amazing bike racer for years (your record speaks for itself)...i think you're an intelligent human being (i've talked with you in the past) but these posts designed to draw traffic to your site are fucking annoying...

F. Douche' F. said...

ATTN: Jeff Spacoli 2:44 PM ...


What?

Anonymous said...

BikeSnob,

Referring to page 100 of the book, Cipo would've plowed Calista Flockhart.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for writing this blog. Your enthusiasm for cycling is infectious. Makes me want to ride even more.

Warmly,
Pat

Anonymous said...

Yo, Pat. Get with the program!
Noob.

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John Coltrane said...

2011 Tour de France winner Cadel Evans abandoned with 75km to go. Evans’ BMC Racing team issued a brief audio interview with the Tour champ, citing an ongoing illness as the reason for his lack of performance.

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hurray no quiz for me!

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