Friday, March 9, 2012

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz and Book Tour Announcement I'm Toe Excited to Punctuate or Stop Typeing or Even Check My Speling!

In yesterday's post, I mentioned the "vehicular cycling" philosophy, a subject which proved to be surprisingly and humorously controversial.  I have much to say on the subject, mostly because I'm highly entertained by the treatises on the finer points of mirror use that it elicits from Serge Issakov.  However, I plan to address all of this at a later date, because today I would like to deal with a subject of far greater import.

This subject is me.  (Or I.  Or myself.  I'm sure someone will weigh in with the correct grammar, though I personally can't be bothered, since worrying about grammar is like checking your helmet mirror every two seconds.)  Sorry if you don't like it, but it's my blog, I pay the three high school kids who write it for me, and if I feel like plugging myself then by Lob I'm gonna do it.

Anyway, as you may know, awhile back I wrote a book:


Not only has this book become a fixture in dozens of bathrooms around the world, but it also earned the greatest honor in literature, which is of course inclusion as a prop in the West Elm furniture catalog:


(Suck on that, Cormac McCarthy.)

Pretty good for a kid who got a zero on the "To Kill A Mockingbird" test in 9th grade English because he never bothered to read it.

Therefore, emboldened by my success, I went ahead and wrote another one:


Technically it doesn't come out until April 2nd, but people seem to be getting their hands on it early because it already seems to be offending Christians:

If you are even slightly offended by mocking religions, especially Christianity, give this book a pass.

Praise like that feels even better than making the West Elm catalog.

Now, you'd think that Chronicle Books would want to give this every chance at success, and you'd also think a key component in that success would be keeping me as far out of the picture as possible.  Instead, they're actually sending me on another book tour.  You may recall I solicited for tour stop suggestions awhile back, and I'm pleased to report that Chronicle have now semi-finalized my itinerary, which is as follows:

WASHINGTON DC
Wednesday, March 21

MINNEAPOLIS
Tuesday, March 27

MADISON
Wednesday, March 28

CHICAGO
Thursday, March 29

AUSTIN
Saturday, March 31

BOULDER
Sunday, April 1

PORTLAND (OR)
Tuesday, April 10

SEATTLE
Wednesday, April 11

VANCOUVER
Thursday, April 12

SAN FRANCISCO
Saturday, April 14

LOS ANGELES
Sunday, April 15

At first I was bummed that they weren't sending me to Canada, but then I realized that Minneapolis is in Canada, so I felt a lot better.

You can see event details for each of these cities by clicking here, or else on the picture of my book in the right hand margin of this blog.  In addition, I'll be doing something at the New Amsterdam Bike Show here in Not Amsterdam, and presumably Chronicle will be adding those details to the schedule soon.  And in addition in addition, I will be visiting London, England, UK, Earth in early May, and will share those details as soon as I have them.  And and in addition in addition in addition, after London, on May 13th, I'm going to appear at a festival in Brindisi, Italy called "Full Bike Day:"


Originally it was going to be called "Half Bike Day" and feature all unicycles, but then I said, "Why not just make it a full bike day?," and a festival was born.

In any case, I will share additional details when I have them.

And lastly but not leastly, The Wildcat Rock Machine "Enlightened Cyclist" World Annoyance Tour is generously being brought to you by none other than Brooks:

A Brooks is the best thing you can put under your ass, unless you're experiencing severe intestinal distress, in which case you'd probably prefer a commode.

I'm very much looking forward to the tour, I'm very grateful to Chronicle Books for sending me and to Brooks for the sponsorship, and I hope to see at least some of you along the way.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then yes.  If you're wrong then no, and also you'll see Carl Weathers on a bakfiets (forwarded by a reader).

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and thanks for your patience while I flogged my itinerary.


--Wildcat Rock Machine




1) David Byrne's new book will be called, "Fuck It, I'm Leasing a Hyundai."

--True
--False




2) How much for the bottle?

--$10
--$50
--$500
--$99,915.25





(Cipollini abandoned this hairstyle shortly after adopting it, like Shimano with the dual-control mountain bike shifter.)

3) Why is Mario Cipollini like unto a McRib sandwich?

--He is orange
--He is oily
--He disappears periodically and then reappears to much fanfare
--All of the above





(Bring back the elephant trunk skid!)

4) Which pro cyclist has "dropped" a sweet "edit" on the fixiebike?

--Taylor Phinney
--Tejay van Garderen
--Edvald Boasson Hagen 
--Levi Leipheimer





(I think my brain just exploded.)

5) A cab getting a ticket for parking in the bike lane?  By a cop on a bike?  In New York City?!?

--True
--False





(The inventor of the CyFy WristView wrist mirror cycling vehicularly.  Hopefully one day we'll all be riding like this.)

6) Serge Issakov would approve!  The CyFy WristView wrist mirror has reached its funding goal on Kickstarter.

--True
--False





(Who says Americans don't have a sense of humor?)

7) Cyclists would have an easier time sharing the road with drivers if there was more:

--Helment use
--Mirror use
--Bike lane use
--Chainsaw use



***Special Bicycle Speed Measurement Unit-Themed Bonus Question***



If Fred "Woo-hoo-hoo!" speed is 46mph, then Cat 6 "Is that it?" speed is:

--20mph
--24mph
--28mph
--30mph


155 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey It's the SNOB!!!!

pebes said...

second

theEel said...

weed!!!

Anonymous said...

Top ten! I'll get a water bottle to celebrate!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Top 10 fine by me.

Anonymous said...

Up there...

Jasper said...

Early doors

Anonymous said...

Yep!

Anonymous said...

Top Ten

And if you're going to use "gonna", you need to use it correctly, i.e.,"then by Lob I'm gonna do it." Is better rendered as, "then by Lob I'ma gonna do it."

"I'ma gonna" is best in this example.

Cippolini Island said...

Top 10-- rides Fizik, not Brooks.

Anonymous said...

Top Ten two days in a row. I'm on FIRE!

Anonymous said...

Crap not top ten two days in a row.

Keith Earickson said...

I haven't read your first book yet, do I get a 0 on the test?

Matt said...

Sponsored by Brooks, eh? Did you see that the $99,000 water bottle guy (13 Sold!) has a very special Brooks saddle on offer for $8,150? It's here. Ought be made of freakin' platinum for that price.

Amazingly, this guy's got a 99.1% Approval Rating on eBay. I wonder if those ratings are dollar-weighted? Still, all you gotta do is sell one. Or 13.

Anonymous said...

Re your book as a prop in the West Elm catalog.

Don't you think it's being used here ironically?

It's sitting beneath a turtle shell. An EMPTY turtle shell. Ironic? Yes, very much so.

So I wouldn't be touting your book with that reference if I were you.

Nonplussed book sitting beneath an empty shell.
Dadaesque? Need I say more?

Anonymous said...

At least you're going to Vancouver, which is nice'n'moist just like Portland plus they smoke so much weed that people make out during riots. Here in Minneapolis we are well north of Toronto.

I look forward to your visit. Not only can you deface my book ("Please make it out to Anonymous"), but the only Chick-fil-a in the Cities that's not behind airport security is in the Coffman Union.

Anonymous said...

That is a nicely curated cat 6 build. I thank you.

Anonymous said...

Boulder stop?
Ima goona be there.

You'll know me by my gaudy jacket and the spit balls I'll be harassing you with.

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute. Boulder on April Fools day. I'm not falling for that one.

Anonymous said...

top twenny?

DerZoots said...

Friday?!
Too much wednesday weeden.

Billy said...

Oh man, fell out of the peloton over lunch.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to see if Tilford will come to your stop in Madison.

I'm imagining a Blogoff of epic proportions.

Anonymous said...

you takin San Fran over BISHOP??!

BISH OPCA

Paul Bowen said...

Woohoo, see you in May! Aced the quiz too (15% luck). Thanks for three hugely entertaining posts this week WRM; nice weekend to all.

jt said...

Maybe you can get the MFB crew to provide security at your book-signing when you're in SF:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hgCqz3l33kU

Anonymous said...

Pointless Eastern Liberal Snark...that's what she said

some jerk from the East Bay said...

Paul Cassel (if one is to judge by appearances) is a douche and a child molester. Seriously, he's kinda got a Jeffery Dahmer thing going on.

Pretty much confirms what I always suspected about Evangelicals.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

C'mon man, i got you the good jelly beans and everything!

Anonymous said...

Dude - you live in new york. There are tens if not hundreds of fans in PA. Why not a nearby BRA? You get paid by the mile? Enjoy those full body searches at the airport?

cycle

wishiwasmerckx said...

Well, you learn something new every day.

From clicking on the Brooks link I learned that their flagship model is called the B-17 Flying Fortress. Personally, I prefer the B-24 Liberator model, but that's just me.

I also learned that I am either a pervert or dyslexic because there is apparently some sort of difference between L'eroica and L'erotica, and I am now somewhat less interested in their vintage bike ride.

Anonymous said...

Minneapolis at 4:30pm, huh? We actually have jobs here.

But if you're giving away free knog lights, maybe it's worth quitting work.

Terre Haute Karl said...

Ew...you plug yourself? That's just gross.

mikeweb said...

Took a detour at the Carnegie deli.

Anonymous said...

No Cleveland?? Yehuda is going to be pissed..

Billy said...

Looking forward to your VC takedown. Whether that's "venture capitalists" or "vehicular cycling" or "v-gan cipo" I don't much care. They'll be equally meh-larious.

Also you have motivated me to make the time for the New Am bike show. I wanted to come and see if I could exchange some USA fun tickets for some fine Canadian cycling bicycle replacement horse machines (Opus Lugano and Nuovella for my wife and I), but it's the weekend before we move in to our new apartment.

But if Snob's on book tour or giving a talk there, I totally want to come and fall asleep in the audience.

Change is beautiful. Unless it's not.

Anonymous said...

Los Angeles, FUCK YEAH!

Anonymous said...

Looked like EBH's bike had a freewheel, wasn't fixed.

Anonymous said...

my parents are so disappointed in me 'cause i don't belong in amazon's 'vine' program to early review books.

"DC" said...

"DC" = Noon on a Wednesday in Bethesda, MD? Bummer.

bikesgonewild said...

...oh, great...the bsnyc/rtms/wcrm 'enlightened cyclist' book tour stop in san francisco is where else but..."The Rapha Cycle Club (which) opened May 2011 in San Francisco as the first, and currently only, permanent Cycle Club for Rapha"...

...i've heard they won't even let you in the door of that place unless you're wearing woolen underwear & bespoke wool socks hand knitted by someone with a cycling pedigree that goes back at least 4 generations...

...time to dig through the garment bag...

the llove that dare not spell its name said...

Top fiffy shorly

Dave said...

How do you do a book tour if half the dates are before youyr book is available? And where's Boston?

Misha Zolotaryov said...

Death Penguins?

crosspalms said...

So your war on religion comes to Chicago on the 29th? I'll definitely postpone the monthly cat-washing to attend. This'll give me time to attach pitchfork and torch holders to my bar. Probably have to take the mirror off to make room.

WeRideNorth said...

Snob,

Bearing in mind that New Yorkers apparently love to hate and disparage DC (our entirely asymmetrical rivalry has become a bona-fide cultural phenomenon here,) let me be the first(?) to thank you for remembering your suit-mongering swamp dweller fans and stopping in Washington. Even though my Amazon pre-order of your book won't get to me until 2 days after...awkward.

That said, I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into with a BicycleSpace-based ride. It's like... where EVERYONE goes now. Nevertheless, once you're done hobnobbing with the one percent Freds at the Bethesda B&N because the downtown DC location just ISN'T AWESOME ENOUGH, I hope you'll take some time to enjoy a jaunt down the Capital Crescent Trail on the way to sparking what will undoubtedly pass for a critical mass ride around here.

In all seriousness, all the best on the imminent book release!

Fondly,

The Official Spokesguy of DC bureaucrat cyclists

Anonymous said...

surprised you're not doing philly? nearby to the HQ of bicycling mag and a fairly big biking city and right next door. but i guess that city of brotherly love doesn't meet the smugness quotient? I dont' really care because I live here in nyc and i guess i could catch you at the new amsterdam thing except i will actually be in old amsterdam that week. oh well, next book perhaps. looking forward to reading the new book though. the last was was very good.

Anonymous said...

Madison Rock Machine!

Yossarian said...

Dear Snob, i was so excited you're coming to Italy I wet my pants. Not that I really think I will be able to reach San Vito dei Normanni, anyway: it's s.thing like 6 hours train or driving away. It would be probably as expensive as getting to London, for me. But welcome, in any case. In case you're not totally fluent with Italian, I think it is important you're aware of the fact that your speech will come right after a "video exposition" of the "best 12 musical videoclips concerning bicycles". Will you be able to handle the excited crowd after all that? I doubt.

JB said...

WTF!? You're not coming to [my city]!?

Anonymous said...

Minneapolis is not in Canada, eh. I aboot lost my toque when I read that!

Vanonymous said...

Yay Vancouver! Those of us in Canada, or America's Jimmy Hat will be more than welcoming to you.

bikesgonewild said...

...lemme see...i believe the first book tour was sponsored by 'knog lights' & so now, this new book is (en)titled "the enlightened cyclist"...

...hmmm...so this book tour is sponsored by brooks saddles...

...i'm wondering if the next book is gonna be titled "the saddled cyclist" - 'or how i brooked my burdened life as cycling's curmudgeonly comic'...

...i'd venture to say we'll all be ready for snob's 'tell all' story of the insidious side of cycling journalism...

Billy said...

@bgw: For your theory to hold water, I would have expected the bicycle on the cover of the new book to have "AYHSMK" as an inscription. aka All You Haters Suck My Knog.

Anonymous said...

Does Carl Weathers live in Seattle? That sure looks like the Ship Canal trail in Fremont.

Anonymous said...

No San Diego? *sob*

bikesgonewild said...

...billy...your suggested inscription may have been in or on the book & was considered to be some kinda grammatical mistake by the proofreaders...

...just sayin'...

Marcel Da Chump said...

Follow that tour bus!

Bertin753 said...

You probably would go to hell except that God likes your sense of humor. (Fuck Lob.)

Bertin753 said...

You probably would go to hell except that God likes your sense of humor. (Fuck Lob.)

McFly said...

Evidently Carl Weathers is allergical to bee stings.
BEES TING

Bertin753 said...

Double or nothing.

Anonymous said...

Panties!

Anonymous said...

Get with the times Ebenezer, the best way to promote your new masterpiece is to leak it onto the interwebs.

ervgopwr said...

Make San Diego a stop. Right after LA.

Some how we'll have to keep Surge away, so he doesn't bore the place to death.

I know just the place to host it,

BLAH PUB!

GOOD BEER

let me know if you're down for an Epic in SD?!

Anonymous said...

As for grammar: Since the pronoun is used as a predicate nominative, "The subject is I" is proper, old-school textbook usage--the sort of usage endorsed by people who would shudder at the phrase "old-school." The rest of us say "The subject is me."

Hophead said...

Hi Snob, are you actually doing the CicLAvia ride after the LA stop? It's a good time and the route covers some of the funkier areas of town. Looking forward to the new book and seeing you here in April!

skink said...

Pretty pussy shots.

BikeSnobNYC said...

ervgopwr,

Maybe I can squeeze it in, based on what Serge Issakov says it should be pretty easy for me to hop on the freeway and ride down from LA.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

grog said...

Death Penguins
Chek my speling
FUNK WUIZ
MISS BABE
RIDE GOOD
FULL MOON

Anonymous said...

Headline in Local Paper - jogger killed by motorist. This is outrageous. The poor drivers have to kill joggers because there are not enough cyclists to go around. And right next to a bike path. The driver was probably tired on waiting for a cyclist to come by.

cycle

Anonymous said...

Dear Machine (I know you prefer to be called Wildcat Rock Machine, but I'm too lazy to type all that, and the abbreviation sounds like "worm"),
"Why is Mario Cipollini like unto a McRib sandwich?" is just another example of how you mock religion! You're using Biblical-Torah-Koran old-school-translation style language to make your question sound divinely inspired! If I didn't think religions are all a crock of snot, I'd say you were going to hell for mocking them! I'd be there too! Lucky for us!
Yes, I have a lot of free time!

Mehjor Taylor said...

now that's a quiz. kicked my ass. its better than regurgitating prior days.

Throwaway_Bicycling said...

Looking forward to seeing you in Bethedsa...event though most of your other fans at that location will probably make me cringe. A lot. Meanwhile, as WeRideNorth notes, your ride from Bethesda to the BicycleSPACE downtown is really pretty easy. Google Maps suggests a slightly more scenic route than I might take (I would go on the path through Georgetown then take Pennsylvania NW to G St and up from there), that route could be very pretty. They say it will take you over an hour, but if you time it right it could be significantly faster without buzzing too many pedestrians.

So two more hours before I can put in some "junk miles" on the commute home.

crosspalms said...

Junk miles are even better if you get them with fries.

leroy said...

My dog saw the bonus question and remarked that one is more likely to be upset with the question "Is that it" if one has been going too fast.

He claims to have never been asked that question, but suggested I must have some experience with that situation.

Hairy legged SOB.

He's just peeved because he just discovered that over the winter, I decorated his bib shorts to look like lederhosen.

Ride at whatever speed works for you all!

Anonymous said...

WIWM a perv?
This is news?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

WTF!!! WCRM, where's your hometown in your BRA?
are you trying to offend all of us?

crosspalms said...

I think today you should be Wildrock 6-Cat Machine

CommieCanuck said...

Eat more Cat6.

CommieCanuck said...

I see WRM is going to Vancouver. Take at look at the Porto-lets you can buy , "From the low $800's".

CommieCanuck said...

He's just going to Vancouver for the awesome weed. Look out for "BC bud" Wednesday.

Anonymous said...

What the fuck snob?!?! Philly is a training ride away. No tour stop here?

JB said...

I'm going to do the whole tour on an old tandem with the rear person's spot fitted with a wooden crate and sell kind veggie burritos to fund the trip. Who's with me?

Hungry Panda said...

Minneapolis, Madison, then Chicago
?

No Milwaukee? Please inform your publisher that Milwaukee is the center of the universe, and the center of parking lot bicycle polo.

This a serious omission that must be remedied.
What gives?

Must I eat my bamboo polo mallet to get you to come here.

If you reference bile polo, polo mallets or bamboo, Im gonna get real upset, maybe I wont breed anymore.

dcdouglas said...

Looking forward to joining your group ride in DC. I'll be on the smugness machine, sorry, Big Dummy.

Throwaway_Bicycling said...

@Crosspalms:
Junk miles are even better if you get them with fries.

I don't get my junk miles with fries, or even frites, but I do get to enjoy delicious homebrew ale when I arrive back home.

Although, speaking of fries, there is a pretentious Belgian-themed restaurant in downtown Bethesda like seven doors down from the bookstore that Wildcat Rock Machine could patronize on his visit. In any case, we do expect a blog post devoted to the fredtastic nature of the DC area.

alinberlin said...

Snob: I got an email notice from Amazon about the upcoming blessed event. Do you have any info on whether the magnum opus will be available on Kindle? I love real dead-tree books, but living overseas means that e-books work better for me.

RobertETwee said...

Chronicle seems to have omitted one important stop on your tour: THE ENTIRE FRIGGIN SOUTH.

And yes, "friggin" is Southern. Anything else would be uncouth.

yogisurf said...

I'm not reading the comments, I'm sure there are hundreds, if not 2 or 3, disappointed cities around our great nation (Canada's jockstrap). No San Diego, Snobby??? I feel so betrayed, like when my lead-out guy stop to adjust his brooks saddle at the 1K flag during last weeks charity ride.

Buy-cycle said...

You iz cuming to Landon! Sweet dude. Top 90?

yogisurf said...

And I'm not doing an epic ride on a fixie to L.A. for you or an epic burrito. Waaaaaaa (have a great weekend, if writers have weekends). I got in 102 miles in 4 days, including a couple of Cat 6 races!

Billy said...

@RobertETwee:

What's Austin? Chopped liver?

Sure it ain't Memphis or Atlanta or Charleston or NoLa, but it's a southern city still. Well sort of. Come to think of it, Texas ain't really southern is it? They've kind of got their own thing going on there, what with the Lone Star Republic and all.

Anyway, New Am bike show works for me because I don't live down there anymore. I think of myself as an Alabama expatriate living with the communists in Jamaica Plain, Boston, MA.

Quilled and Lugged said...

@ bgw


...i've heard they won't even let you in the door of that place unless you're wearing woolen underwear & bespoke wool socks hand knitted by someone with a cycling pedigree that goes back at least 4 generations...

They will let you in, but they might look just ever so slightly askance at you.
Actually I have found them all nice as pie in there, and I haven't even bought anything yet. Maybe I still look like their target demographic.
Last time I was there, my friend was on a Sp*****zed hybrid junk bike, and I was so emabarrassed I made her lock it up a block away.
See you there.
Will you be dressed like your avatar pic?

Anonymous said...

That cop ticketed that cab because it got in his way.

On my ride home along the 7th Ave (ACPJ Blvd)-St. Nicholas Ave bike lane, the only stretch that is guaranteed completely blocked, 24-7, fronts the NYPD 28 Precinct, who use it as their parking lot.

I'll save my brain explosion for when that changes.

Buffalo Bill said...

Not coming to Calgary, eh? Well I can't blame your publishers, it is kind of a hick town.

I'd come to Van to hear you talk snob, but the playoffs will be starting, so there'll probably be a riot.

crosspalms said...

@Hungry Panda
I thought bile polo was Rush Limbaugh's gig.

@ Throwaway_Bicycling
There's a Belgian frites place here about 3 blocks from work. I've been strong and resisted all year. (Except they make their own chips, too, and I had some with lunch. Mmmm. Talk about junk miles...)

MGB said...

VANCOUVER

wishiwasmerckx said...

O.K., 99th...

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th!

McFly said...

Anon 3:19,
I am the perv. Also, sex.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon3:19, funny, your mom said the same thing...

Anonymous said...

I checked your post a bunch of times, the tour dates a bunch of times, to be sure I didn't screw this question up.
Could you tell your fans in your hometown why NYC is not on this list?
Not enough BIKE ACTION here?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 5:04pm,

Sorry--somewhere in there I mentioned I'd be at the New Amsterdam Bike Show, but I still don't have the details. They'll add it to the schedule when there are more details.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Buffalo Bill said...

Thanks to Carl, I feel so much better about my life now.

bikesgonewild said...

...@ quilled & lugged...were i to show up looking like my avatar foto, people might confuse me for bsnyc/rtms/wcrm should he choose to wear his chicken outfit...

...besides, while i definitely still have that jersey in a well preserved state (trophy jersey presented to me by a team i worked for years ago), the prince valiant wig is a dead giveaway that somethings not right in denmark...(you're only young once)...

...i'm gonna try to be there but it is a work day for me, so we'll see how it plays out...

...if i can make it, just remember the initials 'bgw'...you'll see 'em, so please, introduce yourself & that goes for any other sf area snobsters...

g-roc said...

Oh, so now you're coming to Vancouver. I already got you to sign my copy of your first book, why would I want to repeat that? However, I may take advantage of you being trapped in a group ride with your adoring fan(s?) and totally Cat 6 your ass. What can I say, cheating is my only hope.

g-roc said...

Van City folks do appreciate that the New York City Snob snubbed the (nee) York City (Toronto). We thank you from the bottom of our scranuses.

g-roc said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Quilled and Lugged said...

@bgw I thought it was a Viv Stanshall wig. Oh well. I am supposed to be working then too, but I will see what I can do...

2wheeler said...

I'm disheartened that your itinerary doesn't include any stops in America's dandruff problem.

WPVelo said...

Chronicle seems to have omitted one important stop on your tour: THE ENTIRE FRIGGIN SOUTH.

yeah and boy howdy some uhv us done learnt to reed and rite things like yor book. and wee have kentukky "blue" grass some days if yorn lucky.

WIWM, well-played. lmk if you find e'rotic e'roica whilst you peruse the driving force of the web.

yeah, i'm 18.

Southern Rock Machine Gun Bubba

WPVelo said...

Recumbabe takes a lane just like the Honey Badger.

Vegas said...

"Download a High Res Author Photo"

Sharpie and Darts Not Included
hahahahaha

Oh yeah, and if you haven't heard yet, there's this:
http://laughingsquid.com/bkme-web-platform-for-recording-bicycle-lane-violations/

Lastly, hey San Diegans, just jump on the choo-choo with your replacement horse for the L.A. BRA and cycLAvia! I think I will.

McFly said...

The worst part of South-Cyclin' are the Low Profile High Velocity Missle Dogs. I can handle a big beast rumblin' and barkin' but those LPHVMD's go from 0-60 in 2.46 seconds and there yard is ALWAYS sloped toward the road with no obstacles or even a ditch to slow them down. WCRM would probably resort to Ulock flingin'.

McFly said...

BikeSnobNYC "The Enlightened Cyclist: Commuter Angst, Dangerous Drivers, and Other Obstacles on the Path to Two-Wheeled Trancendence"
Previous estimated arrival date: March 26, 2012 - March 28, 2012
New estimated arrival date: March 15, 2012

Charlie Manson said...

So tell me again because I forgot.

How do I know if I am insane?

Yves Saint LauDouche' said...

I'll be retailing my anatomically correct 'Recum Babe' inflateable companion/significant-other sometime in early July 2012. She will be fully felatio capable.

Recumbent bicycle sold seperately.

Anonymous said...

Black manasks for change

Cipo said...

*buuuuurp*

eating pussy

Anonymous said...

You jumped the shark, you totally souled out.

But I still LOL'd.

You funny.

Anonymous said...

McFly typed...
Low Profile High Velocity Missle Dogs

"those LPHVMD's go from
0-60 in 2.46 seconds and there yard is ALWAYS sloped toward the road with no obstacles"

Yo, That's funny. Credit where it's due, I give.

Love your homage to yesterday too.
Subtle, smooth. Just the way I like it delivered.

Casds said...

Great quiz!

plussed in pdx said...

A visit to P-town? Wooo hooo! And an epic ride to boot. In anticipation of the celebrated event I'm busy doing my cat 6 training on the stationary as I type this.

I'm not sure whether to ride my fixie or my tri-bike, but I'm getting both my tweed and my skin suit professionally cleaned to have all bases covered.

A spin up North Williams is an absolute must. I got hoodwinked TWICE this week, which provided enough masturbatory material for a least a month.

Oh, and you can't miss the carefully curated artisanal balloon animal exhibit on Division. It'll make you take back all of those unkind things you've said that make Pdx sound so callow and provincial.

McFly said...

I even spelled a word wrong to keep with the "Southern" motif.

bikesgonewild said...

...quilled & lugged...thank jeebus for the viv stanshell's & the bonzo dog doo dah bands of this world, without which, life would have a taste & a texture a little more like pablum...

...if one can't occasionally go a little to the extreme, the middle ground is so much less enticing...

bikesgonewild said...

...& for you youthful hipsters in the crowd, the band 'death cab for cutie' got it's name from a song by the aforementioned viv stanshall & the bonzo dog band way back in '67...

...an elvis presleyish take off, the bonzos version was featured on the beatles 'magical mystery tour'...

...stay informed...there may be another quizzz...

Anonymous said...

Los Angeles on the same day as Civlavia. Awesome. I'll be the dude on a fixie eating a burrito and curating artisinal ice-cream.

Anonymous said...

To quote Ric Santorum, "All you haterz suck my ball".

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

So, what is the customary dress code for these ride/talk/signings.

Kit or no kit?

I am leaning toward the latter.

Anonymous said...

No kit. A kilt. Or a kilt with mantyhose if you're a woosie.

Philly Bicycle Journal said...

No BA in Philadelphia??!! What if we were able to get Steve Bilenky to shave his beard in protest?

Anonymous said...

Should I even bother to try to make the Pdx showing? Last time, you enlivened the a-holes in Alberta park so much the regional championships were held here, the stench was epic. Can't wait to see the carnival come out. First time, long time.

Anonymous said...

Snobby
There were so many hot Cleveland Steamer offers.
What gives?

Anonymous said...

Sometimes things do not change.

@GBW took the Bunditz out in the Pussy Wagon.

That is fine.

What is not cool is that you guys nuked the bathroom and left it without toilet paper.

Anonymous said...

ribbed for her-um-his pleasure.
Bikes Gone Wild

Dr.Dre said...

Nice pictures. Picture me rollin' ...

DERF said...

For Lob's sake, leave Cipollini alone already. The man is a Lob in his own right..

Suggestion. Do another interview with the 2Johnspodcast and talk about yoru book... or, Invite me to Italy to see you in person.. either one will do.

PS, I hope when you are in Italy that Cipollini kicks your ass!

bikesgonewild said...

...wow, anon 3:21am...you certainly bring hope to the future of witty repartee...

Quilled and Lugged said...

@So, what is the customary dress code for these ride/talk/signings.
Kit or no kit?

I would say some Rapha worn ironically should cover it.

bgw - I met Mr Stanshall once in passing in London. He wore a scarlet suit as I recall.

Sean said...

Hey, no NYC stop on the book tour? What gives?

Sean said...

Hey, no NYC stop on the book tour? What gives?

bikesgonewild said...

...quilled n' lugged...are you the guy who told gary fisher that might be a direction he should pursue ???...

Yves St. LauDouche' said...

The scent ...

of

Testosterone

Wet Clit

HGH

Coke

The Clear

Jerry Curl

Hemo Pure



The Scent ...

Is ...


'Cipo'

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That one New Yorker said...

"I can't believe you're holding an event in New Amsterdam but not in your home town of New York City!"

dave bell said...

what type of individual would spend $8500 on a Moots that you can put in a suitcase? interested to hear your thoughts: http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/bik/2888428085.html

we're seattle and we love overspending on our bikes!

Nationwide Auto Loan said...

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Create Quiz said...

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OMR said...

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Robert said...

"Fuck It, I'm Leasing a Hyundai."

I laughed.

Brianjnps said...

No San Diego? *sob*

Betty said...

@bgw: For your theory to hold water, I would have expected the bicycle on the cover of the new book to have "AYHSMK" as an inscription. aka All You Haters Suck My Knog.

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