Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Indignity of Commuting by Bicycle: Competition

As you probably know, May is "Bike Month"--both here in New York City and across the whole US or A. Never one to shirk my responsibilities as a cyclist, I've decided to help out by creating a PSA. However, I'm not going to promote the same old tired causes. Helmets? Whatever. Until they come out with a helmet that makes you smarter helmets can only do so much. Hand signals? Meh. I recently witnessed someone nearly crash while attempting to make a hand signal, so until you're able to control your bicycle without both hands on the bar you should probably let your destination remain a mystery. No, I've decided to flog my pet cause (flogging your pet cause should not be confused with "foffing off") by creating a NYC-themed PSA for fenders:


See, it's not that getting wet is a big deal. Really, it's what you're getting wet with. Even on the sunniest days New York City is awash with fluids, and these can range from benign substances like water from opened fire hydrants and spilled Snapple to more distasteful ones such as hot dog water and coffee spilled out by taxi drivers to the really horrific ones such as urine, garbage water, and vomit. The latter in particular are things with which you do not want to make contact, and a LRFP (Low-Riding Filth Prophylactic) such as the one below will only offer you minimal protection:


Next time you're cleaning crust off the bottom of your downtube, try not to think about what that crust is.

But while Bike Month is billed as "a month of cycling celebration," nothing could be further from the truth. If you commute by bicycle here in New York City, bike month is actually an intense competition. Now that the weather's warm and dry, the streets are full of commuters who are united by one goal: to ride faster than other commuters. Even if you're not competitive yourself, you can probably appreciate the beauty of competition now and again. Whether it's cycling, or running, or boxing, or even sailing, there's something about watching evenly-matched and similarly-equipped rivals striving to triumph over one-another that speaks directly to the human spirit. Conversely, there's something pathetic and absurd about watching completely mismatched rivals with totally different equipment trying to race one-another, which is what commuting in New York City is like, and I was unfortunate enough to witness a particularly egregious example of this yesterday evening:


Yes, that is indeed a guy on Rollerblades attempting to get on the wheel of a guy riding a three speed and wearing a beret. You'll notice the guy in the beret is also out of the saddle and doing his best to drop the Rollerblader and get on terms with a second group of commuters further up the road:



Witnessing a struggle like this is slightly less awe-inspiring than watching a bunny rabbit and a chinchilla racing to be first to the water bottle. It actually made the race between the guy on the Trek road bike (complete with filth prophylactic) and the guy with the step-through Schwinn fixed-gear conversion and the Promenade bars I had observed moments before seem "epic" in comparison. Actually, I think they comprised the breakaway group that beret guy was trying to catch.

Generally speaking, I don't engage in competition when I commute. (I don't really engage in competition when I race, either--there's nothing particularly competitive about clinging tenuously to the back of the pack.) However, that does not stop other commuters from competing with me. For example, there's an unwritten rule among New York City bike commuters, and it applies to all riders, regardless of age, fitness, or style of bicycle. This rule is as follows:

If you stop at a red light and there is already another cyclist waiting at it, you must stop your bicycle in front of the rider who is already there.

As far as I know, I am the only cyclist in New York who does not observe this rule, because while I'm quite happy to queue up behind somebody at an intersection, I have never, ever had somebody stop behind me. If you're waiting, someone will pull up ahead of you. If a third person comes, they'll roll ahead and stop in front of the second person. On a busy day, this accumulation results in sort of a shoal of cyclists which juts out into the middle of the street like a sandbar of idiocy. I observed this shoaling effect once again just this morning, as you can see here:



Mind you, I was the first rider at this light. Note that the guy on the hybrid, the guy on the Raleigh, and the messenger have passed me, rolled through the crosswalk, and lined up in front of one-another in eager anticipation of the light change. As I snapped the photo, they were joined by some schlub on a skateboard carrying an envelope, and shortly after he arrived came a woman with a flowery scarf:



You'll see the schlub on the skateboard went immediately to the front of the group. (Perhaps he had a bunch of points in the New York City stoplight race series and got a call-up, but if he did I didn't hear it.) Unfortunately for scarf woman, before she was able to get in front of him, the light changed. And they're off!



I haven't seen a start this explosive since the Cyclocross World Championships in Hoogerheide. I think the messenger got the holeshot, though the schlub on the skateboard with the envelope may have been skitching off him. As for me, I couldn't stay with scarf woman, so a gap opened immediately. I may have lost the race, but I like to think I preserved some dignity.

But when it comes to absurd competitions completely bereft of dignity, New York City bicycle commuting can't come close to fixed-gear freestyling. I was visiting Trackosaurusrex recently when I saw this video of a fixed-gear freestyle competition, which makes yesterday evening's Rollerblade-vs-beret race look like Andy Hampsten on the Gavia Pass in 1988:

Most people have heard the expression "familiarity breeds contempt." Well, until now I never thought it applied to fixed-gear freestyling. Sure, the "sport" has been around for at least a few years now, but instead of growing contemptuous of it you sort of just get used to the absurdity. So really, familiarity with fixed-gear freestyling doesn't breed contempt--it breeds indifference. However, this display of riding was nearly enough to change that. While I can't say I experienced full-blown contempt, it definitely ratcheted my "meh" up to "vehemehnce:"



Basically, these guys just ride around in circles, lifting their front wheels occasionally. Amazingly, there are actually people who have gathered to watch this, and they golf-clap appreciatively whenever someone fails to land yet another "trick." Since I can't possibly imagine anybody would go out of their way to watch this, my guess is that this group of people assembles regularly at this parking lot regardless of what's going on--they probably stand there during the week too and golf-clap when someone manages to get out of his Ford Focus without spilling his Starbucks. For me though, by far the most exciting moment was when some guy in a tie-dye shirt ran through the shot:


Now that takes skill.

Yes, while fixed-gear freestyling continues to grow in popularity, it's hard to say whether the "sport" is actually evolving or just getting long in the chainring tooth. Not only is the wardrobe, pacing, and crowd reaction growing increasingly golf-like, but the participants are beginning to experience repetitive motion injuries as well. After watching the above video, I headed over to fixed-gear freestyle impresario Prolly's blog to see if I could find anything better, and I was concerned to read this:


The turning point in any subculture is when people's bodies start rebelling against their wardrobes. It's like having to add a few more rounds to your bullet belt to accommodate your swelling midsection, or needing bifocals to read your own knuckle tattoos. And nothing is less cutting-edge than sensible footwear. Just wait until people start experiencing messenger bag-related lower back problems. The Fixed-Gear Apocalypse may not come with a bang or a wimper; it may just come with a lot of complaining.

139 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes!

Anonymous said...

put me in pink!

Anonymous said...

podium!

Luck E. Seven said...

Get offa my cloud!


A

CommieCanuck said...

It's not how high you place, but how much you can write.
My drinking led to my cocaine uptake, which led to my finish position.

rezado said...

Chicken grease

ringcycles said...

Levi, stalking the front runners

Renders Fenders Moot said...

Powered by cheese. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

top ten

Anonymous said...

Check IT. Are you thong fit?

www.randyrrross.com

CommieCanuck said...

In NYC, the PSA should read, "Fenders..You're Lucky If It's Just Urine"

Roller blades only make sense if you hang a mirror ball in front of your head and load up the BeeGees on your iPod.

mikeweb said...

Packfill

Anonymous said...

damn you guys are fast today

then again, I stopped for lunch...

mikeweb said...

"Until they come out with a helmet that makes you smarter helmets can only do so much."

Priceless!

RANTWICK said...

vehemehnce! Great post snob.

Jakerock said...

Thank god for the bikesnob.

Boy oh boy is he right about the red light B.S. and the fact that everyone thinks that if you are on two wheels you are trying to race them... Was frustrating, but now it is funny.

Test Tickle said...

was that video played in reverse? i can't really tell, people were riding backwards most of the time. crazy, just crazy. almost as exciting as watching a senior citizen's shuffleboard tournament...

kale said...

Fenders:

Why the fuck not, asshole!

wishiwasmerckx said...

"As for me, I couldn't stay with scarf woman..." Snob, sorry to hear about your divorce.

Critical Ass said...

Boonen's problem is not that he's a sloppy drunk...

It's this...

E E D E E D
1|-----------------------------------
2|-----------------------------------
3|--9---9---7---9-----(9)---7--------
4|--9---9---7---9-----(9)---7--------
5|--7---7---5---7-----(7)---5--------
6|-----------------------------------

RANTWICK said...

I just went back and watched the video. I had to stop about 1 minute in due to the lameness of it. As BSNYC has pointed out in a previous post, how can anybody think that's cool after viewing that Danny Macaskill video? I thought "vehemehnce" was clever, but now I understand it's deeper meaning.

mikeweb said...

I refuse to pull in front of others at a red light, but I do pull even with them. Not so much a bike shoal as a bike sand bar.

Anonymous said...

"Basically, these guys just ride around in circles, lifting their front wheels occasionally"

genius.

Test Tickle said...

spot on regarding the bike lane time trial... every day this happens ... schmucks in their biggest ring/gear possible pass me, stop at light, i catch up, they take off, repeat until i get home. oh, and panniers on bridges. i think it's another subject you should approach BS.... i feel they should have to hang a sign stating "wide load."

Anquetil's Mother said...

Huh. Thanks, Snobby. I thought it was just cause I'm a girl that every cyclist needed to get in front of me at red lights, but now I know I'm not alone- unless you've still been wearing that skirt and heels around.

I like to let them start in front of me at the intersection and then ride right behind them coasting with my freewheel making a very loud sound. In mind mind I like to think it makes them a bit nervous, but in reality they all probably have headphones on anyways.

Disgruntl Ed. said...

Thank you for this post, and particularly that singular "paparazzo."

Next time someone offers me a panini or a biscotti I'm going to strangle myself. With a spaghetto.

mikeweb said...

Snob, your PSA will probably fail. There's too many folks riding around who would actually want to ride through big urine puddles with no fenders.

I won't watch the video. I get in trouble if I fall asleep at work.

hillbilly said...

got caught behind a whole bunch of fixters serpentining their way down the manhattan bridge this morning, which brings me to my rant of the day....some of us (admittedly very few) go east (right) off the bridge,....they all stopped and posed at the exit to the bridge sense their light was red.

db said...

"On a busy day, this accumulation results in sort of a shoal of cyclists which juts out into the middle of the street like a sandbar of idiocy."

And the river's features welcome the bike salmon to their spawning grounds... which makes fenders mandatory.

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

liz said...

I love the indignity posts. It does my heart good to know someone had the exact same commute as me even though they're 791.50 miles away.

seems to me the Vans would be like a steel-toe boot compared to the damn flip-flops people insist on wearing.

Luck E. Seven said...

Shoal of idiocy!! So you are into SAILING?

Oh yeah:
Andy Hampsten had notoriously bad bowels due to his penchant for white bread.


A

Other Side of the GW said...

I'd hate to roller blade or skateboard through some questionable liquids and have to clean those wheels. Ugh.

mikeweb said...

BTW, that douche on the sk8bored in the "bike shoal" needs to be pushed into the next urine puddle.

Yesterday, as I was cruising easterly on Bleecker in or near the green bike lane, I had to dodge 3 salmon - one of them a skater - in the space of 1 block. Finally I sat up and said to the last one, "Why are you going the wrong #$@&-ing way!"

hillbilly said...

um, that word is since. that's what i get for foffing off at the mouth. i'm with you, test tickle. that sounds weird. Hey! Anquetil's mother! Nice to see people back today

hillbilly said...

the salmon (when not delivery guys) always seem to be the people with the least amount of bike handling skills possible without falling over, the ones shaking their handlebars back and forth unnervingly...except for the guy on 2nd ave yesterday whom I am almost one hundred percent sure was in the midst of a good heroin nod.

Shram said...

belt-wearers, all of 'em.

Ignatius J. Reilly said...

Someone tell those 'freestylers' that Woody Itson, ca. 1983, wants his 'tricks' back!

A. said...

it's perfect that the skateboarder's a god damned mongo...

jolene said...

pepel piss aint got shit on no cow piss and shit i wint on a mountin (not that kind) yes i lerned to use hyphies for punkshewatching what you think i is IGNERNANT!!1!) bike riding with my new man gordy and there was hores shit and cow pattys on the road trail and i gots some in my teeth it was disgrusting

thers no way i put those fenners on my iron horse and look like tammy that retard girl some things aint that bad but in new yark they paroblably got aids or swine flew in the piss so i guess maybe

Shram said...

btw, I've thought of the next component for Snob to start advocating: kickstands.

Yes, the kickstand--useful, lightweight, inconspicuous--was just the first of all these other components we've removed in the name of cool: gears, lights, fenders, etc, the latest and dumbest being brakes.

Even Raddich said...

liz.

i only wear flip flops to show off the toe knuckle tattoos that i rock while foffing the occasional wheelie on my fixie. please don't judge me. toe knuckle tats are the new, or at least extended, knuckle tats.

thanks

bc said...

check out how may peds are just hanging out in the bike lane in the shot of the flowery scarf girl putting the hammer down

bc said...

many

g said...

Shram,
Was on a 3 day tour with a group of friends last fall and one of them showed up with a kickstand. We all mocked and pointed, but, by day 3 of having to constantly look for someplace to lean or pick up from, we weren't laughing nearly as much. I wouldn't have it on most of my bikes, but will get one before the next tour. (I did have fenders, though)

Anonymous said...

One of the guys behind the camera say something to the effect of "he's so smooth". I didn't realize freestylers had started shaving their legs like roadies.

WheelDancer said...

Great PSA, I assume that stands for Pee Slick Avoidance? I generally pull up behind the pack unless someone in front scares me like the guy who almost took out three other riders trying to clip in. I pulled ahead of him in the line and was rolling before he realized the light changed. I'm thinking folks like him should be riding with 'training clips' and not take them off until they can clip in without wobbling across an entire lane.

Test Tickle said...

CriticalAss,

Clapton? I'm playing the notes in my head, sans guitar since they only let me bring my tuba into work, and thinking it's a match....

Anquetil's Mother said...

Boonen's problem is that he apparently didn't see Jan Ullrich's PSA, er The Jan Ullrich Story.

NatMc said...

this is the way the blog ends. this is the way the blog ends...

liz said...

speedwobble:
toe knuckle tats = HAWT.
are they hard to read through the knuckle hair?

Adam said...

So true yet so sad! Something about those street light gatherings, I can stop myself from trying to get ahead..

ant1 said...

C. Ass - JJ Cale?

I shit you not said...

What's funny is when some overcompetitive schlub pulls in front of you at a light only to find him/herself in the puddle of urine you were holding back from entering.

Anonymous said...

No, Andy Reimer, not their legs, their testicles...

bk jimmy said...

Bill,

You're not alone anymore! I go east.

Even Raddich said...

liz.

i didn't want my toe knuckle hair to get caught in my chain so i shaved. it's not hair that obscures my proud toe knuckle tats but instead usually bike lane mystery liquids. i now carry a squeegee.

sw

mikeweb said...

Mongo like candy!

kale said...

NatMC-

No TS Eliot quotes here, sir!

ringcycles said...

I've never thought much about the crust that collects on the bottom of my down tube. Where I ride its as likely to be squirel hair and moose nuggets as anything, but now I will have to think about it, and cringe at the possibilities. Damn you, Snob, damn you.

Dan Webster said...

It's bike month in other parts of the world too, you American Centric bastard......PS I love you.

CommieCanuck said...

Liz..the knuckle hair is the teaser, it leaves the rest to the imagination. Just like my back hair when I wear that tight muscle shirt on a hot humid day.

Also, toe tats are useful in Florida, using phrases of 12-14 letters.

FLORID AROCKS

Shram, kick stands rock, once you 'stand, it's impossible to knock that bike over.

HORIZ ONTUL

flaco of the antifendersociety said...

I promised myself I wouldn't start up with this again, but you fenderers are coming across as purty damn precious. it was one thing when you were defending their practicality when the streets are wet, I knew that my position was stupid, but that's my choice, but now I feel better about it. Basically now you are all saying they are always a good idea because of the crap on the streets? That's sad. Do you palp shoe covers year round too? Maybe even when you are just walking?

Ronsonic said...

Test Tickle, She don't lie. She don't lie.

She don't lie.

kale said...

I'm worried that instead of ending with a whimper, a la NatMC's prophecy - this blog will end up like a vignette from "California Uber Alles" where cycling is ruled by a totalitarian dictator. I'm assuming in this case Snob will be equivalent to Marx or Kropotkin, rather than Stalin. I'm just throwing it out there, but I've got some fear and loathing regarding Cyclostan's future.

grog said...

"Today's blog demonstrates all the reasons I prefer mountain biking", he said with vehemehnce.

mikeweb said...

Bill, I go straight off the Manhattan. When there's traffic, I hug the metal fence, back from the street. Tight quarters there...

Isolation Helmet said...

Out here on the left coast other riders normally cue in behind you at lights. Although on my commute home in Marin County one guy on a mountain bike track stands at the light and then takes off in front of everyone. Since lights are more spread out everyone passes him before the next light and then he does it again.

CommieCanuck said...

Best reason to use fenders, "cocaine is everywhere". Tom says,it's easier to get than a cup of coffeeNY Feet aren't getting tendinitis, they're going numb.

mikeweb said...

Kale, a DK and a Hunter Thompson reference in one comment! Sweet. I hear Snob sings like Jello too - except a little higher pitched.

I vote for Commie "Kim Jung Il" Canuck for dictator. Oh wait, there won't be an election. Nevermind.

MINGUStheMECHANIC said...

Stepping on a fresh load of crap while wearing clipless is so wrong, Last night I had to not only clean the shoes but take apart the offended pedal also (don't ask me why I didn't see this fresh load of crap)

Snob are you doing the T.A sponsored commuter race again this year?

hillbilly said...

ah, bless ya, Mike, yer one of the good uns.....i swear i'm not sooooo grumpy, i'm generally reasonable, but today, 5 people were just all kinds of splayed out in front of it, making it absolutely impossible, and all just doing that aloof stare at each others "whips" and looked at me with uncomprehending sneers as i said 'scuse me' and tried to squeeze through....

Anonymous said...

recently, i had cause to re-view a videotape of a street-skating competition held in the san francisco bay area in the mid-1980s. for those unfamiliar with the evolution of street skating, this competition would have occurred during the sport's infancy, and the footage i watched again, twenty years on, consisted mainly of name pros sadly no-complying parking curbs and bonelessing the fenders of the heavily graffitied car at the center of the course. watching all of this, i experienced a sensation of agitated listlessness familiar from watching vimeo footage of fixed-gear freestyling. of course, skateboarding has come a long way in the intervening years; it's hard to imagine any of the practitioners on that tape believing you were you to have told them that in a mere ten years, people would be kickflipping picnic tables and doing exotic grinds down twenty-stair handrails. it may be that fixed-gear freestyling has such leaps in evolution ahead of it. somehow, i rather doubt it.

Even Raddich said...

why oh why couldn't it just have been a joke?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/33230525@N04/3097860055

beefoven said...

i know it's a bike blog but shit footing should still be addressed.

Even Raddich said...

mingus.

it's one of the eternal truths of the cosmos, once you step in shit you never can feel the same about those shoes again.
bad luck.

libertyonbikes! said...

for those 'budging' to the front
at lights, no problem. like the
guy who wants to be at the front
of group ride, except instead of the wind picking them off, it's the guy beating the already red light.

"you wanna cross first?"
"by all means, I insist!"

it's just annoying when they then
maintain a speed that is so slow but still defies gravity somehow.

Wes said...

Having recently fitted a pair of glossy black fudguards/wheelbrows/dritt deflectors, I can now experience what was formerly the preserve of track cyclists and fixsters - overlap. Finally, something to make the commute more of a challenge.

hillbilly said...

that's one of the most boring videos i have ever seen, not to mention one of the worst made. somehow the camera seemed to miss whatever tiny speck of action there was while focusing on, well, focusing.

Anonymous said...

I was actually in that "second group of commuters further up the road" on the Brooklyn side of the Manhattan bridge. I remember that rollerblader from when I passed him on the Manhattan side. What you didn't see was his flailing around as he tried to come to a stop on Canal St. He almost took out 2 cyclists and came pretty close to doing a face plant.

Astroluc (Find me on Tumblr and Instagram @Astroluc) said...

At least in the time that since I have started reading your blog regularly, you have never touched upon what I condsider to be the greatest menace to a cyclist... until TODAY!

Yes, I speak of the recreational In-line skater! No where else can a single person plug in an ipod, tune out the world, and sashay along dominating an entire 10' wide section of pavement.
No amount of "ON YOUR LEFT" can break them of their self-righteous and headphone fueled In-line self-love. They are the single greatest threat on the multi-use paths and even moreso on the street. I just thank god that there are not more of them around... oh sh- !

ice cube said...

Of course there's a ginger-beard! of course!!!hahahahaha!!! that video wsa worse than watching a long-board or cross-country skiing!!HAHAHAHAHA

Wes said...

Astroluc

Just pray they ride through the shit that Mingus had to deal with - should make those bearings nice and tacky.

Daniel said...

There is so much in this post that I find myself golfclapping for. Bike shoals - they're everywhere! Fixie comps - same category as snowboard park jams (I'm talking boxes and rails, not the big-air comps). Fenders - if they don't wrap at least part way round the tire, they're not gonna block much poo. Chinchilla vs bunny rabbit - wicked! Sensible shoes - ok, you got me there, but at least my sandals are closed-toe.

One other thing - in the last shot of the commuter crit - I can't quite tell, but I think that must be the feed zone - the open hand of one of them looks like they might have just passed a musette to one of the riders, and the guy at the back has another one over his shoulder, ready to hand off. The cleanup crew has already started - bravo to the race organizer for the prompt attention - I always hate to see paper cups and power gel packets strewn about days after a race!

no one said...

i always ensure i cut off any person that rides in front of me at stop lights or tries to pass on my right when the light goes green.
why? not because i'm looking for vindication nor trying to enforce rules and laws. it's simply because i'm a dick.

Anonymous said...

That sounds like my all time favorite skate video...


CURB DOGS!

Frank said...

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/weirdest-family-photo-ever-probably-nsfw.jpg?w=415&h=482

Fred G. Sanford said...

prolly's just a kid, leave the son alone...

g said...

Frank,
No matter which one of those people you are, you got problems.

rockandrollcannibal said...

Fenders removed. Kickstands too. Lights, gears, brakes, handlebar tape. I see where this is going.

Behold the modern bicycle!

Anonymous said...

hey, I read Kropotkin too!

innerlighter said...

Kind of like the old adage that "you don't have to be faster than the bear, just faster than your friend", I see the cyclist shoals as a chance to sit back and "hopefully" see The Darwin Awards in person.

Considering the picture Snob paints of NYC drivers, it's only a matter of time before an Access-a-Ride van takes them all out like an Abdujaparov sprint.

mehnace to siciety!

Anonymous said...

Rockandrollcannibal - i don't want to imply I'm getting old but that looks suspiciously like my first bicycle.

Just saying.

Scott said...

You know what has fenders? My dutch city bike that I ride every day even though it is supposedly only some kind of fashion item.

innerlighter said...

open the lame freestyle videomute it.

play thisand now it's entertaining.

Or a mild sleep-aid.

mehdiocrity!

Anonymous said...

rockandrollccannibal:

already in existence!

Toxteth said...

Ignatius - I'm surprised your pyloric valve didn't slam shut after reading this post...

innerlighter said...

100 Serafin Martinez (Spa) Xacobeo Galicia

Surly Bastard said...

100! I don't know why I feel compelled to do this ..

Surly Bastard said...

Shit, somebody got ahead of me at the light!

innerlighter said...

Sorry Surly. But no gifts, right?

Anonymous said...

The hardest thing about learning how to in-line skate is telling your parents that you are gay.

Surly Bastard said...

That's okay. It's been that kind of day. At least I didn't step in any ... WHAT THE FUUUU ....

Fred Zeppelin said...

Anon 3:15 said: " it may be that fixed-gear freestyling has such leaps in evolution ahead of it. somehow, i rather doubt it."

It does, and it's called either artistic cycling or flatland BMX.

innerlighter said...

Well Surly, you know what they say...

JBJ said...

Innerlighter-

Uh, no...

This is the soundtrack to the foffest.

AYHWMDOA

red neckerson said...

my balls hurt

innerlighter said...

JBJ...

I will counter with this

Anonymous said...

**** Bike Shop Scam ****


Just a heads up. Last weekend was busy in the bicycle shops. While
the staff of the Bikery was busy with other customers a well fit man
with shaved legs and vary knowledgeable about Cervelos took a test
ride. He never return. The Cervelo is red with white lettering
model R3DA with a 56 cm frame serial number CVR3607152. The bike is
worth about 5 G's - that a lot of gravity. I understand a second bike
shop in the Syracuse area lost a $4500.00 mountain bike. I don't have
any particulars on this bike and I'm not sure what shop it was.
Apparently this thief left a fanny pack that supposedly contained
his license and wallet. When that rider did not return the shop
opened it - they didn't find any ID or wallet. My guess would be
these two incidents were probably be the work of the same person or
persons - PROS. I think all the bike shops in the area have been
notified and warned. These bikes are probably long out of the area.
If you know any other shop owners it probably wouldn't hurt to give
them a heads up. If you see or hear of a bike fitting this
descriptions please notify the police.

Anonymous said...

so when someone stops BEHIND you at the stoplight you'll know it's Snobby.

T. McKay Battles said...

i watched part of that video from tracko. it was unbearable.

KVonnegut said...

Kickstands - I love 'em!

I built an ironic Huffy Singlespeed rigid MTB to make a friend laugh and then found I actually enjoyed riding the damn thing.

My favorite feature on the bike is the kickstand. The concentric torsion spring and housing are stressed members of the chainstays, making it the world's best-integrated structural kickstand.

It's difficult to express the sheer joy I feel when the riders I have passed emerge at the trailhead, avoiding eye contact as they circle slowly around the self-supporting steel bicycle standing proudly like a lone pine among a forest of toppled crabon fiber and unobtanium.

Zen said...

That's not a Schwinn "step through", it's a Nishiki mixtie. How could you miss that?

Joe B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joe B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dick Hertz said...

People always ask me weird questions.

Joe B said...

I see the events of that video play out every day in my sub division's cul-de-sac. the only thing different is the kids have parental supervision helping them to watch out for cars and they don't look as bored.

Anonymous said...

Best quote overheard on my commute home today, (and this is absolutely true):

"Grandma, you're never gonna guess what I really stepped on!"

Anonymous said...

I hate Fruitbooters more than I hate Fixed Gear Freestylers.

Fruitbooters are to skateboarding what Fixed gear freestylers are to BMX.

mikeweb said...

"Fruitbooters"

LoL, now THAT is brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Try this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSUoJnWdE4g

CommieCanuck said...

Anon 7:58..hold my fanny pack with my credit card and license in it while I test your computer, but don't open the fanny pack please.

You handed a $5000 bike to some one without verifying at least three pieces of ID? Just because he was knowledgeable about Cervelos?

Never trust anyone with a fanny pack.

hillbilly said...

i kept pulling up in front of people stopped at stoplights this morning, and now feeling bad about it, but dammit, when did yall start stopping behind the crosswalk!!??

ant1 said...

I bet kim jung ill wears a fanny pack.

Emily said...

Most of the time if I am stopped at a light the people who should probably maybe stop behind me end up just blowing through the light...

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Giovanni Sollecito, Emperor of all things bike. said...

if you aint from NYC originally, you cant hate on NJ.. fucking pussy transplant. get ya grill cracked with a U lock in jersey city..

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

your blog is brilliant - can you set up rss?

Anonymous said...

On a completely different note - wtf does RTMS stand for?

PARFONSK said...

it's funny because it's all so true!

David Bernstein said...

This is crazy, but I am the one who you have photographed wearing the so called "beret"!

to get things correct here, that bike is a Maxwell Pennsylvania from the Netherlands not a trek

And I am not wearing a Beret, that is an old man golfer hat that belonged to my grandfather, I wear it for good luck because I don't wear a helmet and need luck that no cars kill me on my commute.

Peter said...

Yeah, commute-racing is obnoxious. But passing is not inherently rude. Different people ride different speeds. Especially since sometimes (especially if you are like me) you happen to be late and are trying to get somewhere in a big hurry but don't believe in blowing stoplights.

Just wanted to get this off my chest... Cyclist from SF in 2007: I know you're a better rider than I am; your seated free-wheel trackstand at the light proved it unequivocally. I passed you because you apparently had decided to take a leisurely ride, whereas I was actually trying to get somewhere on an assigned schedule. Chasing me down and calling me a "dork" was uncalled for. Who chases people down and berates them for passing?

Anonymous said...

d

Serge Rivest said...

Great article :)

Anonymous said...

And what... no commentary on the latest nyc "fixie" craze: fixie "polo"???

Argggghhhh!

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B Strand said...

Still the best Bike Snob post (as my Turkish friends above no doubt agree.)