Halloween is coming, and leaving your bike out of the festivites is like going trick-or-treating but leaving your child at home. So why not dress up your favorite ride and take it out for a night on the town? I've already got my bike costumes worked out--I'm dressing them all up as Mike Wallace and we're going to stay home reading aloud from transcripts of "60 Minutes"--but if you need help coming up with your own here are a few possibilities to lube your chain of creativity. Of course, these are all fixed-gears, but you should be able to come up with something for your own bike no matter what you're riding. And be sure to wear something yourself to complement your bike's costume:
Rolling Pumpkin
This one's easy. Gluing some leaves and a pumpkin stem to the top tube should complete the illusion:
And of course for the full Cucurbita effect you should be sure to don this delightful chapeau:
Scaffold
Ah yes, the tall bike--like a tandem, only way more stupid. The possibilities for dressing up your own are endless: a garment rack; the Wright Brothers plane; a Rube Goldberg device... But these can also be labor intensive. If you're pressed for time, just try a simple scaffold. You don't really have to do anything:
To drive home the point you can carry a bucket of paint around, offer to change people's light bulbs, or maybe even dress like this:
Or, if you're a surrealist, consider going in this direction:
Steven Tyler's Mic Stand
This costume is only a few more schmatas away from completion:
No prizes for figuring out who you should dress like when you take the stage with this bike. Let's just say he's ample of mouth, he's flirting with avian flu, and he talks, dresses, and acts like a slightly younger Joan Rivers:
Herb Garden
Just glue a few sprigs of parsley, basil, and thyme to this bike and hop aboard the garnish express:
Be sure to carry a garden trowel and dress accordingly:
Geared Road Bike
Dressing this bike up is easy too--just bolt on a derailleur and tape on some STI cable housing:
Don't forget to shave your legs and dress yourself up to match:
green, bitches.
ReplyDeleteslightly younger joan rivers -
ReplyDeleteDamn, a brakeless, tapeless tall bike fixie. Just think of the top tube pad possibilities. Kinda like those tandems with bottle mounts everywhere, including the chainstays.
ReplyDeletePODIUM!
Don't forget that you can dress up your toddler to match the bike as well
ReplyDeleteAerosmith track bikes FTL!
ReplyDeleteI don't understand how anybody can ride that idiot tall bike nor why anybody would. Orthopedic surgeons everywhere are creaming their pants.
ReplyDeleteschmatas!
ReplyDeletei love that word.
my granfather used to refer to dollar bills as schmatas.
he was a mean miserly man.
Come on man, aint nothin wrong with tall bikes! Now thats a fixed gear trend I can jump on, and I have no choice but to jump off.
ReplyDeleteHey, that tall bike / scaffold thing... it's been done before.
ReplyDeleteBadly, I might add.
That last bike deserves a post all on its own. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around how STI levers found their way onto the fixed gear conversion of a two decade old frame. Could you please create a plausible (or at least laughable) backstory for this?
ReplyDeleteYou can tell that dog is just in a costume for Halloween.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe its a poser.
A real roadie's dog would be a hairless.
...that's a fixed grrrr dog...
ReplyDelete— Very funny, this was a great read over my morning soy vanilla latte... thanx Mr. Snob. Happy Halloween to you and yer readers!
ReplyDelete: )
fixed...
ReplyDeleteThat's like neutering right?
The risers and platforms on the Koga make me want to cry and punch then kick.
ReplyDeleteI'll pretend its a track bike dressed as a mountain bike for Halloween. That way it wont ruin my day.
Here's my Pumpkin Bike.
ReplyDelete2 Halloween Miyata's!! (well ones a koga/miyata) I cant find a Miyata track frame anywhere and you found 2! in costume even.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't the scaffold bike need a noose and a trapdoor?
ReplyDeleteI mean, it is Halloween after all.
And I've got to agree with Sean Lynch.
A real roadie's dog would at least have shaved legs.
i will knit my bike an orange and black top tube pad with green crochet'd tendrils. i will be rad!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if that stem on the Benotto were any brand other than Cinelli, would anyone would bolt one up?
ReplyDeleteI might, if I could find a decent powdercoater in this town...
...check out schmata miyata on fgg when its set up w/out drops...not sure if it's for real or not...
ReplyDelete...yes, fixed = neutering...
...neute-ring, new terminology: "the act of limiting yourself to one fixed gear" ???...
Keeping the Halloween theme alive... Check out fatcyclist's costume ideas
ReplyDeletea scam? I just saw the "blingspeed" chris king wheels on the DENVER craigslist:
ReplyDeletehttp://denver.craigslist.org/bik/458080305.html
!
ReplyDelete"Ah yes, the tall bike--like a tandem, only way more stupid. "
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAH
best line in the whole thing...
Ooh! This reminds me... my Halloween costume this year is a Hipster Scout (see the comic Cat and Girl). As such, I made a patch for "owning a fixie" and now you've inspired me!
ReplyDeleteI'm putting the tube top from the bike I had when I was 5 on my bike...!
Bet that Benotto was hanging around, being geared and all, and dude took off the derailleurs, shortened the chain, etc. I'm all for budget conversions on ratty old Schwinns and Peugeots, but that Benotto was better off with a freewheel.
ReplyDeleteDon't think I haven't considered making a tallbike out of a piece of scaffold, Mr. Bike Snob.
ReplyDeleteif the koga wanted to mix things up a bit i think going as Finding Nemo would work just fine
ReplyDeleteA Benotto doesnt deserve a fate like that.
ReplyDeleteSeventythree,
ReplyDeleteI'm flattered and would be happy to lend you a pair of well-used bib shorts for your costume. And don't forget #4: suck at racing.
I wish someone would tell my wallet I sold out...
--BSNYC
Is it just me, or does the dog suit have a cut out for his Junk?
ReplyDeleteanonymous 10:30,
ReplyDeletethat's totally dog junk.
R. Zach Thomas,
ReplyDeleteThis crazy thing about the Benotto is that those shifters were not stock on that bike, guaranteed. That Benotto is a vintage 80's frame. Those shifters are mid-age STI, putting squarely past the turn of the century. The two had to come together somehow in some sort of crazed love affair that left the shifters sadly amputated of their shifter cables.
http://phoenix.craigslist.org/bik/458432565.html
ReplyDeleteSeventythree,
ReplyDeleteNo need--I thought it was funny. Don't ruin it by apologizing!
--BSNYC
for some extra ridiculous halloween fun, make your way to the craigmeur cross race in NJ on sunday. bring your camera- the costume contest should be hilarious
ReplyDeleteI'm dressing as:
ReplyDelete'A suitcase of courage'
That very tall contraption should get a rubber and be used as a advertisement for Viagra.
ReplyDeleteOk, tandems look silly but the cheapo quasi-MTB ex-hire tandem I bought six months ago has been perhaps the best bike purchase I've made. Shame it's so damn ugly.
ReplyDeletePre-tandem: much discussion with girlfriend about how to get to party/bar/park/anywhere, often ending with me driving. And when we ride, it's at a slow pace.
Post tandem: We ride everywhere. I don't have to slow down to wait for her. She doesn't have to fret about crossing busy streets (it helps that I value safety and obey the road rules!). She gets to take it easy while I do most of the work. We get to talk the whole way. And at least once a week I go and pick her up from somewhere or other. I love it. I'm thinking of buying another!
I reckon most people who knock tandems have just never tried one. Or perhaps they have nobody to share the ride with. Or they're just too concerned with looks. Function over form!
PS Love the blog!
ReplyDeleteGreat post.. this is really a great information..This will be useful post.. I will comeback for more..
ReplyDeleteCheers,
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