Fixedgeargallery...of perturbing patience-testers.

I hate to gush, but there's a lot to be happy about. World CX Champion Erwin Vervecken and National CX Champion Ryan Trebon are coming to race in New York. The weather's still great, but it will soon turn colder, which means the parks will eventually thin out as the less hardy riders put their bikes in mothballs for the winter. And best of all, there's art. Wonderful, inspiring, and uplifting art:

(Via bikeforums...thanks, guys.)

Nothing's more dangerous than complacency, though. So when I find myself getting happy I just head over to Fixedgeargallery to check the latest goings-on. Like doing your finances while you're stoned, it's a sure-fire way to send yourself crashing back to earth. Here's what brought me back to reality today:

I'm all for breathing new life into an old frame, but this thing has more relaxed angles than an architecture firm on morphine. The owner must have wanted something that replicated the geometry of his lawnchair, because this thing’s slacker than a hillbilly’s jaw. The aero rims, flop n' chops, and lack of a brake are also completely at odds with the frame. It looks like Sir John Gielgud wearing a FUBU tracksuit. Just because a frame has horizontal dropouts doesn't mean you have to try to turn it into a track bike. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Q: Why did the fixed-gear take a roll in the hay?
A: It was trying to rub the ugly off itself.

This thing looks like Wavy Gravy binged on Kool Aid and jellybeans, took some bad acid, and threw up under a tree.

What do you do when you've got a spare Sugino 75 crank lying around? You kill it slowly by putting it on the wrong side of the bike. Yes, the patented "Dual Dork Drive" flies in the face of a century of pedal-threading wisdom. Not only that, but somewhere in the city someone’s walking around with both pant legs rolled up, sporting a pair of matching chainring tattoos. The owner calls this a “labor of love,” but I call it a “labor of lame.” Before you trash those threads, do yourself a favor—sell that second crank, buy some real handlebars, and use the change to purchase a clue.